object:why am I not reading Savitri always?
class:question
class:why
class:Savitri
--- NOTES
- there are several seeming reasons why I am not reading it always.
1) reading it always always might be a very very very intense overwhelming transformation. I have already got a sense of it from that night.
2) Due to the variation of sections of the book (some are darker and get darker, some are delight)
3) Due to my incapacity to yet appreciate everything in the book
4) due to fluctuations in my state, my capacity to see based on where I am at the moment.
5) due to my unwillingness to give up the lower, (the desire to both move closer to Savitri but also keep my small movements)
- quote about "the entire nature resisting change or transformation? from the Mother?"
the same reason one resists God (but why is that?)
see also ::: why does one read Savitri?, read Savitri always
--- WHY I STOP
- sometimes I have experiences that are.. well stopping. they are big enough that some part of me perhaps goes yep thats big enough for me. I need to assimlate that. Or the being just will not be willing to read more but it is accompanied with a Largeness, Wideness, Silence or Vastness usually. I also had an imagining that if I did continue it could be potentially hello ego-death or hello too much Force and being stuck on fire or connected to an electrical outlet or hello a permanent change or the death of past being. But I am not sure if it is even any of those but I may have to decide next time I hit one of those weird abrupt stops if I want to experiment or investigate. They may always be accompany a lil vision which might like bring a Peace or something.
--- WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT? see also ::: how to read Savitri always?, why Savitri?
So far it seems to be something like 3 steps, 1) remember Savitri is probably the best. That it is Yoga, Meditation, Sadhana. That is the entire Universe.
todo:add/make TMonSAVcento plz.
step 2) Realizing the Mother wishes us to do the Yoga, pray to the Mother sincerely that if it be Her Will, then that she grant us the Force to read Savitri so that we may come closer to God. If she wishes not to grant the Force so we must do ourselves, then we can make it an offering to Her or Sri Aurobindo. steps 2 and 3 might be reversed.
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