TERMS STARTING WITH
self-confidence ::: n. --> The quality or state of being self-confident; self-reliance.
TERMS ANYWHERE
a (abhayam, sahasa, atmaslagha, yasholipsa) ::: fearlessness, daring, self-confidence, the urge towards victory (the attributes of the ks.atriya). abhaya abhayam ṁ, ssahasam ahasaṁ, yasolips yasolipsa a, atmasl atmaslagha agha, iti ks ksatratejah . atratejah. (abhayam,
anusaMsa. [alt. AnusaMsa; AnusaMsA, etc.] (P. AnisaMsa; T. phan yon; C. gongde/liyi; J. kudoku/riyaku; K. kongdok/iik 功德/利益). In Buddhist Hybrid Sanskrit, "blessing," "benefit," "reward," or "advantage" that accrues from leading a virtuous life or performing various types of virtuous actions. In the PAli MAHAPARINIBBANASUTTANTA, for example, while preaching on the benefits of moral rectitude to a gathering of lay disciples in the city of PAtaligAma (see PAtALIPUTRA), the Buddha enumerates five such blessings that a morally upright person can expect to acquire in this lifetime: first, great wealth (bhogakkhandha); second, a good reputation (kittisadda); third, self-confidence (visArada); fourth, a peaceful death (asammulho kAlaM karoti); and fifth, after he dies, a happy rebirth (saggaM lokaM upapajjati). In contrast, a morally dissolute person can expect in this lifetime: first, poverty due to sloth; second, a bad reputation; third, shame in the presence of others; fourth, an anxious death; and fifth, after he dies, an unhappy rebirth. In the so-called graduated discourse (P. ANUPUBBIKATHA), the Buddha also teaches the blessings of renunciation (nekkhamme AnisaMsa) as a prerequisite to understanding the FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS. Different lists of five, ten, or eighteen such blessings appear in Sanskrit sources. The PRAJNAPARAMITA literature has long passages praising the merit gained from writing out in book form, reading, memorizing, and generally worshipping the prajNApAramitA as compared, in particular, to worshiping a STuPA containing the relics of a TATHAGATA, and the commentarial literature lists the benefits (anusaMsa) of the BODHISATTVA's path of vision (DARsANAMARGA) when compared with the earlier understanding of the FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS.
atmaslagha (atmaslagha; atma slagha) ::: self-affirmation, "the high atmaslagha self-confidence of power, capacity, character and courage indispensable to the man of action", an attribute of the ks.atriya.
atmaslagha ::: self-pride, self-confidence, knowledge of one's own might; with purification it becomes the divine Self within rejoicing in the Shakti of God as it pours itself out through the human adhara.
Dhammakāya. (Thai, Thammakai). A Buddhist reform movement in Thailand that originated in 1916, when a monk named Luang Phor Sodh is said to have rediscovered a technique of meditation that had been lost since the time of the Buddha. The movement began to gain impetus in 1970, when one of the abbot's disciples, a nun known as Khun Yay Upāsika, founded Wat Phra Dhammakāya. Dhammakāya meditation practice consists of visualizing a small crystal sphere entering one's body through the nasal passage; the sphere settles in the solar plexus and eventually becomes transformed into a crystal image of the Buddha. While engaging in this visualization, the meditator is supposed to focus on the MANTRA "samma arahang." The practice is supposed to culminate in the ability to see a buddha image (the dhammakāya, or "truth body" of the Buddha; see DHARMAKĀYA) inside oneself, an experience compared to tasting NIRVĀnA in the present life. Meditation is the principal Dhammakāya practice, and the organization encourages its followers to meditate twice a day as a way of improving self-confidence and as a tool for success, well being, and fostering family life. Dhammakāya also offers group training courses for adults in the private and public sectors. Devotees dress in white, and temple buildings are simple in design. Dhammakāya is also known for organizing massive ceremonies involving several thousand monks and tens of thousands of laypeople on Buddhist holy days. Rather than following the traditional lunar calendar and practicing on the days of the waning and waxing moon, Dhammakāya practice is held every Sunday, with meditation in the morning, followed by a sermon on topics relevant to the problems and concerns of everyday life. Its adherents are also encouraged to take part in such activities as retreats, youth camps, and massive ordinations for college students during the summer break. The Dhammakāya movement also differs from mainstream Thai Buddhism in that it requires monks to be ordained for life rather than the temporary ordination that is common among Thai laymen. In addition to its massive WAT outside of Bangkok, it has established branches throughout Thailand and overseas. Many Thais, especially intellectuals who support the forest meditation tradition, criticize Dhammakāya for its "direct marketing" type of organization and its quick-fix solutions to complex problems.
four fearlessnesses/self-confidences. (S. vaisāradya; T. mi 'jigs pa; C. wusuowei 無所畏)
Mahāsīhanādasutta. (C. Shenmao xishu jing; J. Shinmokijukyo; K. Sinmo hŭisu kyong 身毛喜豎經). In Pāli, the "Great Discourse on the Lion's Roar"; the twelfth sutta in the MAJJHIMANIKĀYA (Sanskrit fragments of small portions of the scripture are extant; no version is included in the Chinese translations of the ĀGAMAs, but there is an independent translation attributed to Weijing titled the Shenmao xishu jing, or "Horripilation Sutra"); preached by the Buddha to Sāriputta (sĀRIPUTRA) in response to criticisms made by Sunakkhatta, a former disciple who charged that the Buddha was not endowed with supranormal powers. The Buddha states that because of his limited capacities, Sunakkhatta was unable to perceive the Buddha's ten powers, four kinds of self-confidence, and the nondecline of his omniscience. He then describes the meritorious deeds that give rise to these powers and the wrong views of the naked JAINA ascetics with whom Sunakkhatta had taken up residence. The Buddha declares that those who claim that the Buddha's insights are simply his own ideas and that he lacks supranormal powers will be reborn in the hells. ¶ A different Mahāsīhanādasutta also appears as the eighth sutta in the Pāli DĪGHANIKĀYA, where it is an alternate title for the KASSAPASĪHANĀDASUTTANTA ("Lion's Roar of Kassapa/Kasyapa"); see KASSAPASĪHANĀDASUTTANTA.
Manipura Chakra ::: The "Solar Plexus" chakra that is linked to one's center of self-confidence and achievement. Sometimes viewed as a major chakra, sometimes as more of a secondary chakra. Located around the solar plexus area below the Anahata Chakra and above the Svasthithana Chakra. It is thought to be the seat of the Astral Body and is the location where the Silver Cord, sometimes glimpsed by astral travelers, tethers the Astral Sheath to the Physical Sheath.
On the other hand, we are morally obligated to help the sick and suffering in the right ways of treating the body, mind, and soul; right because involving the arousing of the patient’s own inner powers of spiritual, moral, and intellectual resistance against the weaknesses in himself. The wrong ways consist in the overpowering — however good the motive of the practitioner may be — of the moral instincts, will, and conscience of the sufferer, thereby rendering him weaker than before. In genuine mesmerism the vital emanation from a pure-minded, unselfish, healthy operator arouses the inert or disordered forces of the diseased organ or body, causing them to vibrate harmoniously and naturally. Thus the sufferer makes himself whole or healthy, and has no bad reaction. The best of all drugless healing methods is where the sufferer is brought into a state of hope, self-confidence, and the higher kind of resignation bringing peace and inner quiet, all of which works in harmony with the body’s natural resources of health and healing. This is the kind of faith-cure used by Jesus and others of similar spiritual and intellectual stature.
sahasam, yasholipsa, atmaslagha, iti kshatratejah) ::: fearlessness, daring, the urge towards victory, self-confidence: these express the energy of the ks.atriya temperament.
self-confidence ::: n. --> The quality or state of being self-confident; self-reliance.
siMhanāda. (P. sīhanāda; T. seng ge'i nga ro; C. shizi hu; J. shishiku; K. saja hu 師子吼). In Sanskrit, "lion's roar," a phrase commonly used to describe the teaching of the Buddha or his disciples. It is said that when the lion roars in the forest, all other animals become silent and listen; in the same way, the Buddha's proclamation of the DHARMA silences all non-Buddhist teachers (TĪRTHIKA), who are afraid to challenge him. The Buddha is often compared to a lion, the king of beasts: "lion among men" (S. narasiMha) is an epithet of the Buddha, the Buddha's seat is called the lion's throne (SIMHĀSANA), and his walk is called the lion's gait (siMhavikrānta). According to the Pāli commentaries, there are two kinds of lion's roar: that of the Buddha and that of his disciples. The former applies specifically to those cases in which the Buddha proclaims his own attainments or the power of the dharma. The latter refers to those cases when disciples announce their attainment of the rank of ARHAT and their subsequent inspiriational teachings. The Buddha declared that PIndOLA-BHĀRADVĀJA was the foremost lion-roarer (siMhanādin) among his disciples. These utterances are described as a lion's roar in the ĀGAMAs and Pāli NIKĀYAs because of their incontrovertible veracity, boundless self-confidence, and ability to inspire others to urgency in their practice. Just as the lion's roar may horrify other creatures, a lion's roar may also instill fear in lesser beings, such as teachings on impermanence that strike fear into the hearts of long-lived divinities (DEVA) who mistakenly presume they are immortal. One of the best-known siMhanāda in the literature (as recorded, e.g., in the NIDĀNAKATHĀ), is the lion's roar that GAUTAMA is said to have uttered immediately after his birth. Pointing to heaven and earth, he took seven steps and said: "I am the chief of the world." The term figures prominently in Buddhist literature, as in the MAHĀSĪHANĀDASUTTA and the CulASĪHANĀDASUTTA of the MAJJHIMANIKĀYA, and in the sRĪMĀLĀDEVĪSIMHANĀDASuTRA. It also occurs in the names of deities, such as Lokesvara SiMhanāda, a form of AVALOKITEsVARA.
sraddhā. (P. saddhā; T. dad pa; C. xin; J. shin; K. sin 信). In Sanskrit, "faith" or "confidence," a term that encompasses also the sense of "belief." Faith has a wide range of meanings in Buddhism, ranging from a kind of mental clarity and positive disposition toward the Buddha (which is often attributed to an encounter with a buddha or with the bodhisattva in a former life), to a sense of conviction about the efficacy of the Buddhist path (MĀRGA), to a commitment to follow that path. In addition to its cognitive dimensions, which will be described more fully below, faith also has important conative and affective dimensions that are frequently recounted in Buddhist literature. The conative is suggested in the compulsion towards alms-giving (DĀNA), as described for example in encounters with previous buddhas in the Pāli APADĀNA, or in the pilgrim's encounter with an object of devotion. The affective can be seen, perhaps most famously, in Ānanda's affection-driven attachment to the Buddha, which is described as a result of his deep devotion to, and faith in, the person of the Buddha. These multiple aspects of faith find arguably their fullest expression in the various accounts of the story of the Buddha's ARHAT disciple VAKKALI, who is said to have been completely enraptured with the Buddha and is described as foremost among his monk disciples in implicit faith. In the ABHIDHARMA, faith is listed as the first of the ten major omnipresent wholesome factors (KUsALAMAHĀBHuMIKA) in the seventy-five dharmas list of the SARVĀSTIVĀDA school and as a virtuous (KUsALA) mental factor (CAITTA) in the hundred-dharmas roster (BAIFA) of the YOGĀCĀRA school and in the Pāli abhidhamma. Faith is one of the foundational prerequisites of attainment, and its cognitive dimensions are described as a clarity of mind required for realization, as conviction that arises from the study of the dharma, and as a source of aspiration that encourages one to continue to develop the qualities of enlightenment. Faith is listed as the first of the five spiritual faculties (INDRIYA), together with diligence (VĪRYA), mindfulness (SMṚTI), concentration (SAMĀDHI), and wisdom (PRAJNĀ). The faculty of faith is usually considered to be the direct counteragent (PRATIPAKsA) of ill-will (DVEsA), not of doubt (VICIKITSĀ), demonstrating its affective dimension. Faith generates bliss (PRĪTI), by which brings about serenity of mind and thought; in addition, faith also produces self-confidence, engendering the conative characteristic of diligence (vīrya). Faith and wisdom (prajNā) were to be kept constantly counterpoised by the faculty of mindfulness (smṛti). By being balanced via mindfulness, faith would guard against excessive wisdom, which could lead to skepticism, while wisdom would protect against excessive faith, which could lead to blind, uncritical acceptance. Thus faith, in the context of the spiritual faculties, is a tacit acceptance of the soteriological value of specific beliefs, until such time as those beliefs are verified through practice and understood through one's own insight. There are four main soteriological objects of faith: (1) the efficacy of moral cause and effect (viz., KARMAN) and the prospect of continued rebirth (PUNARJANMAN) based on one's actions; (2) the core teachings about the conditioned nature of the world, such as dependent origination (PRATĪTYASAMUTPĀDA) and the three marks of existence (TRILAKsAnA), viz., impermanence (ANIYATA), suffering (DUḤKHA), nonself (ANĀTMAN); (3) the three jewels (RATNATRAYA) of the Buddha, DHARMA, and SAMGHA; and (4) the general soteriological outline of the path (MĀRGA) and the prospect of release from affliction through the experience of NIRVĀnA.
The Tathāgata's self-confidence derives from:
timid ::: lacking self-confidence; shy.
vaisāradya. (P. vesārajja; T. mi 'jigs pa; C. wusuowei; J. mushoi; K. musooe 無所畏). In Sanskrit, "self-confidence," or "fearlessness"; one of the qualities of all buddhas, generally enumerated (with some variants) as four: (1) the confidence that he is fully enlightened with regard to all phenomena, (2) the confidence that he has destroyed all contamination, (3) the confidence that he has correctly identified all obstacles to liberation, and (4) the confidence that all marvelous qualities are achieved through the path.
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1 Swami Saradananda
1 Fo-tho-hing-tsang-king
1 The Mother
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1:You feel depressed because your faith is lukewarm. You must cultivate self-confidence. ~ Swami Saradananda, #KEYS
2:Confidence in help from outside brings with it distress. Only self-confidence gives force and joy. ~ Fo-tho-hing-tsang-king, the Eternal Wisdom #KEYS
3:The obstacles that we may face include having expectations, lack of self-confidence, indifference, and unwholesome distractions and activities. If we keep entertaining these negative acts and not believing in ourselves, thinking, "I'm not doing the practice well enough," "I'm not capable," "Everything is fated, so why should I try?"-at best, these acts and thoughts will divert us from our goal and slow down our spiritual progress. At worst, indulging in distractions, unwholesome activities, and negative attitudes will drag us on the wrong track and slowly lead us into the worst possible way of living, destroying all the possible fruits that this amazing human life could bring us.~ Tulku Thondup, #KEYS
4:The Supreme Discovery
IF WE want to progress integrally, we must build within our conscious being a strong and pure mental synthesis which can serve us as a protection against temptations from outside, as a landmark to prevent us from going astray, as a beacon to light our way across the moving ocean of life.
Each individual should build up this mental synthesis according to his own tendencies and affinities and aspirations. But if we want it to be truly living and luminous, it must be centred on the idea that is the intellectual representation symbolising That which is at the centre of our being, That which is our life and our light.
This idea, expressed in sublime words, has been taught in various forms by all the great Instructors in all lands and all ages.
The Self of each one and the great universal Self are one. Since all that is exists from all eternity in its essence and principle, why make a distinction between the being and its origin, between ourselves and what we place at the beginning?
The ancient traditions rightly said:
"Our origin and ourselves, our God and ourselves are one."
And this oneness should not be understood merely as a more or less close and intimate relationship of union, but as a true identity.
Thus, when a man who seeks the Divine attempts to reascend by degrees towards the inaccessible, he forgets that all his knowledge and all his intuition cannot take him one step forward in this infinite; neither does he know that what he wants to attain, what he believes to be so far from him, is within him.
For how could he know anything of the origin until he becomes conscious of this origin in himself?
It is by understanding himself, by learning to know himself, that he can make the supreme discovery and cry out in wonder like the patriarch in the Bible, "The house of God is here and I knew it not."
That is why we must express that sublime thought, creatrix of the material worlds, and make known to all the word that fills the heavens and the earth, "I am in all things and all beings."When all shall know this, the promised day of great transfigurations will be at hand. When in each atom of Matter men shall recognise the indwelling thought of God, when in each living creature they shall perceive some hint of a gesture of God, when each man can see God in his brother, then dawn will break, dispelling the darkness, the falsehood, the ignorance, the error and suffering that weigh upon all Nature. For, "all Nature suffers and laments as she awaits the revelation of the Sons of God."
This indeed is the central thought epitomising all others, the thought which should be ever present to our remembrance as the sun that illumines all life.
That is why I remind you of it today. For if we follow our path bearing this thought in our hearts like the rarest jewel, the most precious treasure, if we allow it to do its work of illumination and transfiguration within us, we shall know that it lives in the centre of all beings and all things, and in it we shall feel the marvellous oneness of the universe.
Then we shall understand the vanity and childishness of our meagre satisfactions, our foolish quarrels, our petty passions, our blind indignations. We shall see the dissolution of our little faults, the crumbling of the last entrenchments of our limited personality and our obtuse egoism. We shall feel ourselves being swept along by this sublime current of true spirituality which will deliver us from our narrow limits and bounds.
The individual Self and the universal Self are one; in every world, in every being, in every thing, in every atom is the Divine Presence, and man's mission is to manifest it.
In order to do that, he must become conscious of this Divine Presence within him. Some individuals must undergo a real apprenticeship in order to achieve this: their egoistic being is too all-absorbing, too rigid, too conservative, and their struggles against it are long and painful. Others, on the contrary, who are more impersonal, more plastic, more spiritualised, come easily into contact with the inexhaustible divine source of their being.But let us not forget that they too should devote themselves daily, constantly, to a methodical effort of adaptation and transformation, so that nothing within them may ever again obscure the radiance of that pure light.
But how greatly the standpoint changes once we attain this deeper consciousness! How understanding widens, how compassion grows!
On this a sage has said:
"I would like each one of us to come to the point where he perceives the inner God who dwells even in the vilest of human beings; instead of condemning him we would say, 'Arise, O resplendent Being, thou who art ever pure, who knowest neither birth nor death; arise, Almighty One, and manifest thy nature.'"
Let us live by this beautiful utterance and we shall see everything around us transformed as if by miracle.
This is the attitude of true, conscious and discerning love, the love which knows how to see behind appearances, understand in spite of words, and which, amid all obstacles, is in constant communion with the depths.
What value have our impulses and our desires, our anguish and our violence, our sufferings and our struggles, all these inner vicissitudes unduly dramatised by our unruly imagination - what value do they have before this great, this sublime and divine love bending over us from the innermost depths of our being, bearing with our weaknesses, rectifying our errors, healing our wounds, bathing our whole being with its regenerating streams?
For the inner Godhead never imposes herself, she neither demands nor threatens; she offers and gives herself, conceals and forgets herself in the heart of all beings and things; she never accuses, she neither judges nor curses nor condemns, but works unceasingly to perfect without constraint, to mend without reproach, to encourage without impatience, to enrich each one with all the wealth he can receive; she is the mother whose love bears fruit and nourishes, guards and protects, counsels and consoles; because she understands everything, she can endure everything, excuse and pardon everything, hope and prepare for everything; bearing everything within herself, she owns nothing that does not belong to all, and because she reigns over all, she is the servant of all; that is why all, great and small, who want to be kings with her and gods in her, become, like her, not despots but servitors among their brethren.
How beautiful is this humble role of servant, the role of all who have been revealers and heralds of the God who is within all, of the Divine Love that animates all things....
And until we can follow their example and become true servants even as they, let us allow ourselves to be penetrated and transformed by this Divine Love; let us offer Him, without reserve, this marvellous instrument, our physical organism. He shall make it yield its utmost on every plane of activity.
To achieve this total self-consecration, all means are good, all methods have their value. The one thing needful is to persevere in our will to attain this goal. For then everything we study, every action we perform, every human being we meet, all come to bring us an indication, a help, a light to guide us on the path.
Before I close, I shall add a few pages for those who have already made apparently fruitless efforts, for those who have encountered the pitfalls on the way and seen the measure of their weakness, for those who are in danger of losing their self-confidence and courage. These pages, intended to rekindle hope in the hearts of those who suffer, were written by a spiritual worker at a time when ordeals of every kind were sweeping down on him like purifying flames.
You who are weary, downcast and bruised, you who fall, who think perhaps that you are defeated, hear the voice of a friend. He knows your sorrows, he has shared them, he has suffered like you from the ills of the earth; like you he has crossed many deserts under the burden of the day, he has known thirst and hunger, solitude and abandonment, and the cruellest of all wants, the destitution of the heart. Alas! he has known too the hours of doubt, the errors, the faults, the failings, every weakness.
But he tells you: Courage! Hearken to the lesson that the rising sun brings to the earth with its first rays each morning. It is a lesson of hope, a message of solace.
You who weep, who suffer and tremble, who dare not expect an end to your ills, an issue to your pangs, behold: there is no night without dawn and the day is about to break when darkness is thickest; there is no mist that the sun does not dispel, no cloud that it does not gild, no tear that it will not dry one day, no storm that is not followed by its shining triumphant bow; there is no snow that it does not melt, nor winter that it does not change into radiant spring.
And for you too, there is no affliction which does not bring its measure of glory, no distress which cannot be transformed into joy, nor defeat into victory, nor downfall into higher ascension, nor solitude into radiating centre of life, nor discord into harmony - sometimes it is a misunderstanding between two minds that compels two hearts to open to mutual communion; lastly, there is no infinite weakness that cannot be changed into strength. And it is even in supreme weakness that almightiness chooses to reveal itself!
Listen, my little child, you who today feel so broken, so fallen perhaps, who have nothing left, nothing to cover your misery and foster your pride: never before have you been so great! How close to the summits is he who awakens in the depths, for the deeper the abyss, the more the heights reveal themselves!
Do you not know this, that the most sublime forces of the vasts seek to array themselves in the most opaque veils of Matter? Oh, the sublime nuptials of sovereign love with the obscurest plasticities, of the shadow's yearning with the most royal light!
If ordeal or fault has cast you down, if you have sunk into the nether depths of suffering, do not grieve - for there indeed the divine love and the supreme blessing can reach you! Because you have passed through the crucible of purifying sorrows, the glorious ascents are yours.
You are in the wilderness: then listen to the voices of the silence. The clamour of flattering words and outer applause has gladdened your ears, but the voices of the silence will gladden your soul and awaken within you the echo of the depths, the chant of divine harmonies!
You are walking in the depths of night: then gather the priceless treasures of the night. In bright sunshine, the ways of intelligence are lit, but in the white luminosities of the night lie the hidden paths of perfection, the secret of spiritual riches.
You are being stripped of everything: that is the way towards plenitude. When you have nothing left, everything will be given to you. Because for those who are sincere and true, from the worst always comes the best.
Every grain that is sown in the earth produces a thousand. Every wing-beat of sorrow can be a soaring towards glory.
And when the adversary pursues man relentlessly, everything he does to destroy him only makes him greater.
Hear the story of the worlds, look: the great enemy seems to triumph. He casts the beings of light into the night, and the night is filled with stars. He rages against the cosmic working, he assails the integrity of the empire of the sphere, shatters its harmony, divides and subdivides it, scatters its dust to the four winds of infinity, and lo! the dust is changed into a golden seed, fertilising the infinite and peopling it with worlds which now gravitate around their eternal centre in the larger orbit of space - so that even division creates a richer and deeper unity, and by multiplying the surfaces of the material universe, enlarges the empire that it set out to destroy.
Beautiful indeed was the song of the primordial sphere cradled in the bosom of immensity, but how much more beautiful and triumphant is the symphony of the constellations, the music of the spheres, the immense choir that fills the heavens with an eternal hymn of victory!
Hear again: no state was ever more precarious than that of man when he was separated on earth from his divine origin. Above him stretched the hostile borders of the usurper, and at his horizon's gates watched jailers armed with flaming swords. Then, since he could climb no more to the source of life, the source arose within him; since he could no more receive the light from above, the light shone forth at the very centre of his being; since he could commune no more with the transcendent love, that love offered itself in a holocaust and chose each terrestrial being, each human self as its dwelling-place and sanctuary.
That is how, in this despised and desolate but fruitful and blessed Matter, each atom contains a divine thought, each being carries within him the Divine Inhabitant. And if no being in all the universe is as frail as man, neither is any as divine as he!
In truth, in truth, in humiliation lies the cradle of glory! 28 April 1912 ~ The Mother, Words Of Long Ago, The Supreme Discovery,#KEYS
*** WISDOM TROVE ***
1:Who has self-confidence will lead the rest. ~ horace, @wisdomtrove 2:Motivational, Ambition, Self Confidence ~ orison-swett-marden, @wisdomtrove 3:We don't need self-confidence we need God-confidence ~ joyce-meyer, @wisdomtrove 4:The greatest step toward accomplishment is self-confidence . ~ jim-rohn, @wisdomtrove 5:Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. ~ samuel-johnson, @wisdomtrove 6:Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. ~ thomas-carlyle, @wisdomtrove 7:I have great faith in fools,‚ self-confidence my friends will call it. ~ edgar-allan-poe, @wisdomtrove 8:Self-confidence carries conviction; it makes other people believe in us. ~ orison-swett-marden, @wisdomtrove 9:A feeling of continuous growth is a wonderful source of motivation and self confidence. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 10:Self-confidence comes naturally when your inner life and your outer life are in harmony. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 11:The truly educated can listen to any view without losing their temper or self-confidence. ~ robert-frost, @wisdomtrove 12:Clarity is essential. Knowing exactly what you want builds your self-confidence immeasurably. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 13:No one is born with self confidence. Self confidence is learned and earned with experience. ~ denis-waitley, @wisdomtrove 14:The foundation of lasting self-confidence and self esteem is excellence, mastery of your work. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 15:The world belongs to those who set out to conquer it armed with self confidence and good humour. ~ charles-dickens, @wisdomtrove 16:Self-confidence results, first, from exact knowledge; second, the ability to impart that knowledge. ~ napoleon-hill, @wisdomtrove 17:Your self-confidence increases when you know you are living your life according to your highest values. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 18:Avoid negative people at all costs. They are the greatest destroyers of self-confidence and self-esteem. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 19:Be a lifelong student. The more you learn, the more you earn and the more self-confidence you will have. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 20:Your self-confidence is directly connected to how much you feel you are making a difference in the world. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 21:Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. ~ robert-frost, @wisdomtrove 22:With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. ~ dalai-lama, @wisdomtrove 23:From the self-confidence with which he spoke no one could tell whether what he said was very clever or very stupid. ~ leo-tolstoy, @wisdomtrove 24:Single-minded concentration in the direction of your dreams intensifies your desires and increases your self-confidence. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 25:Those who think themselves secure are more exposed to danger than any others. The armor-bearer of sin is self-confidence . ~ charles-spurgeon, @wisdomtrove 26:There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a King. ~ orison-swett-marden, @wisdomtrove 27:Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be. ~ brian-tracy, @wisdomtrove 28:I lack self-confidence. I don't know whether I shall ever get it. Perhaps it is better to be unsure of your self, as I am. But it is very tiring. ~ audrey-hepburn, @wisdomtrove 29:It gave a tremendous level of self-confidence, that through exploration and learning one could understand seemingly very complex things in one's environment. ~ steve-jobs, @wisdomtrove 30:Action is a high road to self-confidence and esteem. Where it is open, all energies flow toward it. It comes readily to most people, and its rewards are tangible. ~ bruce-lee, @wisdomtrove 31:I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence , heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor. ~ brian-eno, @wisdomtrove 32:Real greatness is often hidden, humble, simple, and unobtrusive. It is not easy to trust ourselves and our actions without public affirmation. We must have strong self-confidence combined with deep humility. ~ henri-nouwen, @wisdomtrove 33:Unfortunately, unless we're focused on building up our courage, which gives us our self-confidence and all that we need to make quantum change in our lives, the voice of fear will always take the lead inside our minds. ~ debbie-ford, @wisdomtrove 34:A positive self-image and healthy self-esteem is based on approval, acceptance and recognition from others; but also upon actual accomplishments, achievements and success upon the realistic self-confidence which ensues. ~ abraham-maslow, @wisdomtrove 35:Fear is a great robber of power. It paralyzes the thinking faculties, ruins spontaneity, enthusiasm, and self confidence. It has a blighting effect upon all one's thoughts, moods, and efforts. It destroys ambition and efficiency. ~ orison-swett-marden, @wisdomtrove 36:We cannot rely on ourselves, for we have learned by bitter experience the folly of self-confidence. We are compelled to look to the Lord alone. Blessed is the wind that drives the ship into the harbor. Blessed is the distress that forces us to rest in our God. ~ charles-spurgeon, @wisdomtrove 37:It is pleasant to be transferred from an office where one is afraid of a sergeant-major into an office where one can intimidate generals, and perhaps this is why history is so attractive to the more timid among us. We can recover self-confidence by snubbing the dead. ~ e-m-forster, @wisdomtrove 38:If you feel inadequate to face challenges, unworthy of love or respect, untitled to happiness, and fear assertive thought, wants, or needs- if you lack basic self trust, self-respect, and self-confidence- your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess. ~ nathaniel-branden, @wisdomtrove 39:After I graduated from high school, one of the former workers on our farm asked if I would be willing to join him in selling Fuller brushes through the summer. It seemed like a perfect way to make some money for college. And being away from my parents and learning to make my own way gave me self confidence. ~ billy-graham, @wisdomtrove 40:We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.…The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ malcolm-gladwell, @wisdomtrove 41:It requires courage not to surrender oneself to the ingenious or compassionate counsels of despair that would induce a man to eliminate himself from the ranks of the living; but it does not follow from this that every huckster who is fattened and nourished in self-confidence has more courage than the man who yielded to despair. ~ soren-kierkegaard, @wisdomtrove 42:Worry is a state of mind based upon fear. It works slowly, but persistently. It is insidious and subtle. Step by step it “digs itself in” until it paralyzes one’s reasoning faculty, destroys self-confidence and initiative. Worry is a form of sustained fear caused by indecision therefore it is a state of mind which can be controlled. ~ napoleon-hill, @wisdomtrove 43:But I noted with real satisfaction how well ex-footballers seemed to have leadership qualifications . . . I believe that football, perhaps more than any other sport, tends to instill in men the feeling that victory comes through hard - almost slavish - work, team play, self-confidence, and an enthusiasm that amounts to dedication. ~ dwight-eisenhower, @wisdomtrove 44:The greatest step toward success is self confidence. The greatest builder of self confidence is self esteem, and self esteem comes from doing the daily things you know you should do. Your self esteem will start to soar when you make some critical decisions - decisions to walk a new road, to start a new direction, to start a new discipline. ~ jim-rohn, @wisdomtrove 45:Let us keep before us the fact that, almost without exception, every race or nation that has ever got upon its feet has done so through struggle and trial and persecution; and that out of this very resistance to wrong, out of the struggle against odds, they have gained strength, self-confidence, and experience which they could not have gained in any other way. ~ booker-t-washington, @wisdomtrove 46:Self-esteem is reliance on one's power to think. It cannot be replaced by one's power to deceive. The self-confidence of a scientist and the self-confidence of a con man are not interchangeable states, and do not come from the same psychological universe. The success of a man who deals with reality augments his self-confidence. The success of a con man augments his panic. ~ ayn-rand, @wisdomtrove 47:Anyone who expects to create, be it as a scientist or artist, scholar or writer, needs self-confidence, even bravado. How else can one dare to imagine understanding what no one else has understood, discovering what no one else has discovered? Where does this confidence come from? Fortunately, every young person is blessed with some of it. It is part of human character. ~ john-wheeler, @wisdomtrove 48:But the problems of perpetuating a hierarchical society go deeper than this. There are only four ways in which a ruling group can fall from power. Either it is conquered from without, or it governs so inefficiently that the masses are stirred to revolt, or it allows a strong and discontented Middle group to come into being, or it loses its own self-confidence and willingness to govern. ~ george-orwell, @wisdomtrove 49:Acquisition of [higher] knowledge is not the end, but the means to the end; the end consists of the attainment, thanks to this knowledge of the higher worlds, of greater and truer self-confidence, a higher degree of courage, and a magnanimity and perseverance such as cannot, as a rule, be acquired in the lower world.For every one step that you take in the pursuit of higher knowledge, take three steps in the perfection of your own character. ~ rudolf-steiner, @wisdomtrove 50:Whilst a man is persuaded that he has it in his power to contribute anything, be it ever so little, to his salvation, he remains in carnal self-confidence; he is not a self-despairer, and therefore is not duly humbled before God, he believes he may lend a helping hand in his salvation, but on the contrary, whoever is truly convinced that the whole work depends singly on the will of God, such a person renounces his own will and strength; he waits and prays for the operation of God, nor waits and prays in vain ~ martin-luther, @wisdomtrove 51:The fatuous idea that a person can be holy by himself denies God the pleasure of saving sinners. God must therefore first take the sledge-hammer of the Law in His fists and smash the beast of self-righteousness and its brood of self-confidence, self wisdom, and self-help. When the conscience has been thoroughly frightened by the Law it welcomes the Gospel of grace with its message of a Savior Who came-not to break the bruised reed nor to quench the smoking flax-but to preach glad tidings to the poor, to heal the broken-hearted, and to grant forgiveness of sins to all the captives. ~ martin-luther, @wisdomtrove 52:Place no hope in the feeling of assurance, in spiritual comfort. You may well have to get along without this. Place no hope in the inspirational preachers of Christian sunshine, who are able to pick you up and set you back on your feet and make you feel good for three or four days-until you fold up and collapse into despair. Self-confidence is a precious natural gift, a sign of health. But it is not the same thing as faith. Faith is much deeper, and it must be deep enough to subsist when we are weak, when we are sick, when our self-confidence is gone, when our self-respect is gone. ~ thomas-merton, @wisdomtrove *** NEWFULLDB 2.4M ***
1:self-confidence, ~ M Louisa Locke, #NFDB
2:I had a lot of self-confidence. ~ Bowie Kuhn, #NFDB
3:Who has magnificent self-confidence ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
4:Self-confidence is contagious. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
5:Self-confidence can be crippling. ~ Leonard Michaels, #NFDB
6:Who has self-confidence will lead the rest. ~ Horace, #NFDB
7:All of management is about self-confidence ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
8:Self confidence for me is a fragile fleece. ~ Sylvia Kristel, #NFDB
9:Charisma often flows from total self-confidence. ~ Peter Heather, #NFDB
10:Self-confidence is the expression of stupidity. ~ Kari Hotakainen, #NFDB
11:We don’t need self-confidence we need God-confidence ~ Joyce Meyer, #NFDB
12:I had a fantastic mother who taught me self-confidence. ~ Anna Torv, #NFDB
13:Our greatest weakness is lack of self-confidence. ~ Angela Ahrendts, #NFDB
14:Stature comes from your demeanor, your self confidence. ~ V C Andrews, #NFDB
15:Being on stage is about self esteem and self confidence. ~ Jake Miller, #NFDB
16:The greatest step toward accomplishment is self-confidence . ~ Jim Rohn, #NFDB
17:There is only one source of authentic self-confidence: reason. ~ Ayn Rand, #NFDB
18:my opponent's self-confidence is usually my best asset. ~ Megan Whalen Turner, #NFDB
19:To conquer fear is the best way to gain your self-confidence. ~ Roy T Bennett, #NFDB
20:Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. ~ Samuel Johnson, #NFDB
21:I Have Great Faith In Fools; Self-Confidence My Friends Call It. ~ Kelly Creagh, #NFDB
22:Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people's orchards. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, #NFDB
23:there’s only a razor’s edge between self-confidence and hubris. ~ Carol S Dweck, #NFDB
24:What makes you think that I give a shit about your self-confidence? ~ Toba Beta, #NFDB
25:False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence. ~ Dov Davidoff, #NFDB
26:Self-confidence goes a long way and is very attractive to others. ~ Adriana Lima, #NFDB
27:There’s only one person to blame for lack of self confidence ~ Benny Bellamacina, #NFDB
28:Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
29:The most vital quality a soldier can possess is self-confidence. ~ George S Patton, #NFDB
30:Leaders have self-confidence (not to be confused with being cocky) ~ Hannah Raybans, #NFDB
31:Self confidence plays an important part in every aspect of man's life. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
32:You are whatever and whoever your self-confidence allows you to be, ~ Carolyn Brown, #NFDB
33:Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. ~ Larry David, #NFDB
34:Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. ~ Thomas Carlyle, #NFDB
35:I developed a great sense of self-confidence when I was very young. ~ Christie Hefner, #NFDB
36:you will discover that your greatest weakness is lack of self-confidence. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
37:Shraddha means self-confidence and self-confidence means faith in God. ~ Mahatma Gandhi, #NFDB
38:The 3Ss of Winning in business are speed, simplicity, and self-confidence. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
39:I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it. ~ Edgar Allan Poe, #NFDB
40:I have great faith in fools,— self-confidence my friends will call it. ~ Edgar Allan Poe, #NFDB
41:May infinite wisdom cure us of the madness of self-confidence! ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon, #NFDB
42:May infinite wisdom cure us of the madness of self-confidence. ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon, #NFDB
43:The law was given to crush our self-confidence and drive us to Jesus. ~ Elyse Fitzpatrick, #NFDB
44:Determination, courage and self-confidence are the key factors for success ~ Dalai Lama XIV, #NFDB
45:self-confidence should always ride side by side with a strong sense of humility. ~ Xenophon, #NFDB
46:Self-confidence is about what you can do. While self-esteem is about who you are ~ Elin Peer, #NFDB
47:The best gift to give : is to build another persons self confidence through encouragement. ~, #NFDB
48:Because Great Britain has self-confidence, it doesn't need a monumental Olympics. ~ Ai Weiwei, #NFDB
49:Education must award self-confidence, the courage to depend on one's own strength. ~ Sai Baba, #NFDB
50:I have gained self-confidence, courage and the support of my people. ~ Velupillai Prabhakaran, #NFDB
51:purposeful play builds self-confidence and real-world problem-solving skills. ~ Jane McGonigal, #NFDB
52:Self-confidence carries conviction; it makes other people believe in us. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
53:Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." Samuel Johnson ~ Samuel Johnson, #NFDB
54:It is hard to know whether an air of self-confidence precedes or follows success. ~ Jane Smiley, #NFDB
55:Don't let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence. ~ Katori Hall, #NFDB
56:Most people are about as happy as their self confidence will allow them to be. ~ Shannon L Alder, #NFDB
57:Self-confidence is a terrible, terrible thing; it's also the most attractive thing. ~ Guy Branum, #NFDB
58:Temptations are a file which rub off much of the rust of our self-confidence. ~ Francois Fenelon, #NFDB
59:You lack self confidence, think about a lot of things and pick the safest option. ~ Karuho Shiina, #NFDB
60:Please, don't spare my self-confidence, sir. I never take it with me when I leave home. ~ Max Frei, #NFDB
61:Never mishandle hope or self-confidence - those are elements of life, not just a game. ~ John Kessel, #NFDB
62:Dig deep and believe in yourself and have the self-confidence you need to forge ahead. ~ Katie Couric, #NFDB
63:Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
64:Acne may be good at destroying self-confidence, but Proactiv+ is good at destroying acne. ~ Adam Levine, #NFDB
65:TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet. ~ David Walliams, #NFDB
66:The truly educated can listen to any view without losing their temper or self-confidence. ~ Robert Frost, #NFDB
67:A great figure or physique is nice, but it's self-confidence that makes someone really sexy. ~ Vivica Fox, #NFDB
68:Bad writers tend to have self-confidence, while the good ones tend to have self-doubt. ~ Charles Bukowski, #NFDB
69:It is only necessary to have courage, for strength without self-confidence is useless. ~ Giacomo Casanova, #NFDB
70:Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. ~ Sasha Azevedo, #NFDB
71:The development of self-confidence starts with the elimination of this demon called fear. ~ Napoleon Hill, #NFDB
72:The Self-confidence of the ignorant is one of the biggest disasters of the humanity! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan, #NFDB
73:All the happiness, self-confidence, and support you're seeking is already within you. ~ Gabrielle Bernstein, #NFDB
74:Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that's very important for good health. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
75:You need an incredible amount of self-confidence to go digging around in someone's brain. ~ Benjamin Carson, #NFDB
76:We need self-confidence in our ability to build Africa. I trust in Mali and I trust in music. ~ Rokia Traore, #NFDB
77:You can't have self confidence without some real skills that enable you to be successful. ~ Erik Weihenmayer, #NFDB
78:If you have a great self-confidence in your own style, you become a style for others too! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan, #NFDB
79:Self-confidence is an important ingredient that makes for a successful physicist. ~ Victor Frederick Weisskopf, #NFDB
80:Self-confidence is nothing more than belief in one’s ability to decide and in one’s decisions. ~ L Ron Hubbard, #NFDB
81:Self-confidence may be mistaken for egotism if it is not accompanied by humility of the heart. ~ Napoleon Hill, #NFDB
82:Self-defence, self-confidence, discipline and self control. The values you learn are priceless. ~ Rickson Gracie, #NFDB
83:Once you feel nice about yourself, you have planted the first seed to develop self-confidence. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
84:One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. ~ Arthur Ashe, #NFDB
85:Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them. ~ Andr Maurois, #NFDB
86:The world belongs to those who set out to conquer it armed with self confidence and good humour. ~ Charles Dickens, #NFDB
87:Self-confidence results, first, from exact knowledge; second, the ability to impart that knowledge. ~ Napoleon Hill, #NFDB
88:Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them. ~ Andre Maurois, #NFDB
89:I think self-confidence doesn’t come so much from knowing you’re great as just knowing who you are. ~ Penelope Trunk, #NFDB
90:Younger colleagues tended to draw untested self-confidence from their bonuses and prestigious degrees. ~ Ron Suskind, #NFDB
91:Be a lifelong student. The more you learn, the more you earn and the more self-confidence you will have. ~ Brian Tracy, #NFDB
92:Even though godlike in his imagination, he still lacks the earthy self-confidence of a simple shepherd. ~ Karen Horney, #NFDB
93:Since I've started fighting it has taught me a lot about self respect, self confidence and self control. ~ Gina Carano, #NFDB
94:Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence. —1 CORINTHIANS 10:11–12 THE MESSAGE ~ Joyce Meyer, #NFDB
95:Maybe the supreme self-confidence I envied in Pepe was nothing more than cleverly masked insecurity. ~ Megan McCafferty, #NFDB
96:Without Self-confidence there cannot be God. So, first there must be Self-confidence and love of God. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
97:Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. ~ Robert Frost, #NFDB
98:Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
99:Great writing requires great doubt and great self-confidence. One without the other inspires mediocrity. ~ Chloe Thurlow, #NFDB
100:With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
101:You need to have confidence in your people, and enough self-confidence to let them identify a better way. ~ Eric Schmidt, #NFDB
102:How many people have been thus led, through lack of self-confidence, to stifle their most justified doubts? ~ Simone Weil, #NFDB
103:I’m not good with pickup lines or flirting. I don’t have that kind of self-confidence or natural charisma. ~ Steve Carell, #NFDB
104:I think widespread, online displays of female self-confidence are good for people, especially men, to see. ~ Mindy Kaling, #NFDB
105:We need cooperation based on trust and self-confidence to create an open, compassionate, harmonious society. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
106:Love from within, be determined and let your self-confidence take you to heights you never experienced before. ~ Arsi Nami, #NFDB
107:Confidence in help from outside brings with it distress. Only self-confidence gives force and joy. ~ Fo-tho-hing-tsang-king, #NFDB
108:I don't possess a lot of self-confidence. I'm an actor so I simply act confident every time I hit the stage. ~ Arsenio Hall, #NFDB
109:To maintain the supreme sense of self-confidence I have cultivated, I repeat, ‘I am strong, able and calm. ~ Robin S Sharma, #NFDB
110:True self-confidence is “the courage to be open—to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source. ~ Carol S Dweck, #NFDB
111:Don?t back down just to keep the peace. Standing up for your beliefs builds self-confidence and self-esteem. ~ Oprah Winfrey, #NFDB
112:The girl doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence. Funny how it was always the pretty, capable ones who didn’t. ~ Milly Johnson, #NFDB
113:With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world. ~ Dalai Lama XIV, #NFDB
114:Writing is the perfect balance between self-confidence and self-doubt, with a bit of self-delusion thrown in. ~ Judith Kelman, #NFDB
115:"The way you speak to others can offer them joy, happiness, self-confidence, hope, trust, and enlightenment." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, #NFDB
116:To be around someone whose self-confidence is more than what our first glance led us to expect is seductive. ~ Abraham Verghese, #NFDB
117:Self confidence is the ability to exercise restraint in the face of disrespect and still show respect in response. ~ Simon Sinek, #NFDB
118:From the self-confidence with which he spoke no one could tell whether what he said was very clever or very stupid. ~ Leo Tolstoy, #NFDB
119:I like the feeling that I'm giving young women self-confidence. It sounds so cliched, but it can be very moving. ~ Shirley Manson, #NFDB
120:True self-confidence is “the courage to be open—to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source.” Real ~ Carol S Dweck, #NFDB
121:I thought I'd take style to its limit... My philosophy is a belief in magic, good luck , self-confidence, and pride. ~ Grace Jones, #NFDB
122:My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth. ~ Sarah Kay, #NFDB
123:I love creepy old dudes. I love that they have so much self-confidence, despite having no evidence whatsoever to back it up. ~ Kesha, #NFDB
124:When I was growing up, I always knew I'd be in the top of my class in math, and that gave me a lot of self-confidence. ~ Sergey Brin, #NFDB
125:With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist. ~ Robert A Heinlein, #NFDB
126:self-confidence becomes arrogance, assertiveness becomes obstinacy, and self-assurance becomes reckless abandon.” This ~ Ryan Holiday, #NFDB
127:Teaching for creativity aims to encourage self-confidence, independence of mind, and the capacity to think for oneself. ~ Ken Robinson, #NFDB
128:Every time we choose action over ease we develop an increasing level of self-worth, self-respect, and self-confidence. ~ John C Maxwell, #NFDB
129:He spoke with such self-confidence that his hearers could not be sure whether what he said was very witty or very stupid. ~ Leo Tolstoy, #NFDB
130:My self-confidence was a battered, flimsy thing and he’d just taken the tiny scrap I had left and stomped all over it. ~ Pepper Winters, #NFDB
131:Self-confidence depends on environment: one does not speak in the same tone in the drawing room than in the kitchen. ~ Gustave Flaubert, #NFDB
132:He spoke with such complete self-confidence that no one could tell whether what he said was very clever or very stupid. He ~ Leo Tolstoy, #NFDB
133:It takes an enormous amount of self-confidence to tell others about your struggles while you are still struggling. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana, #NFDB
134:I've always said that the most important thing is job creation. Jobs will earn people money and build self-confidence. ~ Aung San Suu Kyi, #NFDB
135:The history of the world is full of men who rose to leadership, by sheer force of self-confidence, bravery and tenacity. ~ Mahatma Gandhi, #NFDB
136:Develop Self-confidence, then love will follow; it will come naturally from within. And that way the love will be pure. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
137:Your confidence in the people, and your doubt about them, are closely related to your self-confidence and your self-doubt. ~ Khalil Gibran, #NFDB
138:Finding your own style is not easy, but once found it brings complete happiness. It gives you self-confidence, always. ~ Yves Saint Laurent, #NFDB
139:It's good to be a little nervous. God compensates those with a lack of talent with an overabundance of self-confidence. -Gigi ~ Karen White, #NFDB
140:Liberals do not appear to address potential solutions with anything like the far right's aura of God-given self-confidence. ~ Eric Alterman, #NFDB
141:• The key muscles fueling positive emotional energy are self-confidence, self-control, interpersonal effectiveness and empathy. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
142:You need self-confidence and determination: feeling depressed and losing hope will never really help to correct any situation. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
143:Leaders relentlessly upgrade their team, using every encounter as an opportunity to evaluate, coach, and build self-confidence. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
144:Take every opportunity to inject self-confidence into those who have earned it. Use ample praise, the more specific the better. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
145:The self-confidence one builds from achieving difficult things and accomplishing goals is the most beautiful thing of all. ~ Madonna Ciccone, #NFDB
146:We must go beyond being reactive and defensive. As Europeans we must regain our self-confidence and realize our own strengths. ~ Donald Tusk, #NFDB
147:You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
148:Because of the self-confidence with which he had spoken, no one could tell whether what he said was very clever or very stupid. ~ Leo Tolstoy, #NFDB
149:Happiness and self-confidence can be the by-products of other things, but they cannot really be goals unto themselves. ~ Julie Lythcott Haims, #NFDB
150:If you can do it, it ain't braggin'... it's a matter of self-confidence. I got where I did because I wasn't no shrinking violet. ~ Dizzy Dean, #NFDB
151:Those who think themselves secure are more exposed to danger than any others. The armor-bearer of sin is self-confidence . ~ Charles Spurgeon, #NFDB
152:If you become more concerned for the welfare of others, you will experience a sense of calm, inner-strength, and self confidence. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
153:Once you’ve discounted your own moral authority, once you’ve undermined your own country’s moral self-confidence, you cannot lead. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
154:Self-confidence is something caught and not taught. And, risk-running and chance-taking are the only ways to catch it. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger, #NFDB
155:Surviving a failure gives you more self-confidence. Failures are great learning tools - but they must be kept to a minimum. ~ Jeffrey R Immelt, #NFDB
156:The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. ~ William Jennings Bryan, #NFDB
157:A smile can reassure another, provide comfort to uncomfortable situations, and display personal self-confidence for all to see. ~ Asa Don Brown, #NFDB
158:I had a terrible marriage the first time around because I had no self-confidence, even though I had tremendous self-confidence. ~ Lynn Johnston, #NFDB
159:A parent does not do everything for their kid. A parent that does everything for their kid produces a kid with no self-confidence. ~ Simon Sinek, #NFDB
160:The British ruled nineteenth-century India with unshakeable self-confidence, buttressed by protocol, alcohol and a lot of gall. ~ Shashi Tharoor, #NFDB
161:How strange that discovering the doctrines of grace should translate into haughty self-confidence and a notable lack of charity. ~ James K A Smith, #NFDB
162:In the book of Gaga, fame is in your heart, fame is there to comfort you, to bring you self-confidence and worth whenever you need it. ~ Lady Gaga, #NFDB
163:Almost 4.25 lakh toilets were built in 2.62 schools nationwide in one year; this gives self-confidence that we can do what we want. ~ Narendra Modi, #NFDB
164:I think that's kind of indicative of a type of self-confidence that people develop when they recognize their own ability to create. ~ Kehinde Wiley, #NFDB
165:This is the beauty that emerges from self-confidence, class confidence. That says, I am not born to please. I am born to be pleased. ~ Susan Sontag, #NFDB
166:Timidity and shyness are fears of this sort. Unimportant, perhaps, but they are crippling to self-confidence and to achievement. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, #NFDB
167:Anger and hatred lead to fear; compassion and concern for others allow us to develop self-confidence, which breeds trust and friendship. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
168:The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of successful experiences behind you. ~ Dale Carnegie, #NFDB
169:This, perhaps is true self-confidence: the ability to look at the world without the need to find signs that stroke one's ego. ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb, #NFDB
170:There is no need for a long, persuasive introduction about self-confidence. If you are not a confident person, you already know it. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
171:This, perhaps, is true self-confidence: the ability to look at the world without the need to find signs that stroke one’s ego.* ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb, #NFDB
172:When a country has the skill and self-confidence to take action against its biggest problems, it makes outsiders eager to be a part of it. ~ Bill Gates, #NFDB
173:While clothes may not make the woman, they certainly have a strong effect on her self-confidence, which, I believe, does make the woman. ~ Mary Kay Ash, #NFDB
174:Self-esteem is reliance on one's power to think... The man of authentic self-confidence is the man who relies on the judgment of his own mind. ~ Ayn Rand, #NFDB
175:This, perhaps, is true self-confidence: the ability to look at the world without the need to find signs that stroke one’s ego.fn3 ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb, #NFDB
176:My self-confidence, love of wisdom, and desire to change the world were rooted in that brief period, when I climbed out of despair to rebirth. ~ Pam Grout, #NFDB
177:Colonel Maycomb’s misplaced self-confidence and slender sense of direction brought disaster to all who rode with him in the Creek Indian Wars. ~ Harper Lee, #NFDB
178:Most people want peace without the aloneness of [spiritual] power. And they want the self-confidence of adulthood without having to grow up. ~ M Scott Peck, #NFDB
179:My self-confidence comes from the fact that I have discovered my own dimensions. It does not behoove me to make myself smaller than I am. ~ Edith S dergran, #NFDB
180:Our present state of self-confidence and poise is the result of what we have "experienced" rather than what we have learned intellectually. ~ Maxwell Maltz, #NFDB
181:Physical wounds can heal, can’t they? But it takes a long time to recover from having your self-confidence and self-esteem crushed to nothing. ~ Sibel Hodge, #NFDB
182:Self-confidence, as it is generally understood, implies arrogant presumption; humility implies being impeccable in one’s actions and feelings. ~ Th un Mares, #NFDB
183:Self-confidence is apt to address itself to an imaginary dullness in others; as people who are well off speak in a cajoling tone to the poor. ~ George Eliot, #NFDB
184:The special forces gave me the self-confidence to do some extraordinary things in my life. Climbing Everest then cemented my belief in myself. ~ Bear Grylls, #NFDB
185:The way you speak to others can offer them joy, happiness, self-confidence, hope, trust, and enlightenment. Mindful speaking is a deep practice. ~ Nhat Hanh, #NFDB
186:As is the case with all original creators, Charles Chaplin's working life was an amalgam of arrogant self-confidence and deflating self-doubt. ~ Garson Kanin, #NFDB
187:The best way to help Burma is to empower the people of Burma, to help us have enough self-confidence to obtain what we want for ourselves. ~ Aung San Suu Kyi, #NFDB
188:Arrogance is a killer, and wearing ambition on one's sleeve can have the same effect. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
189:Jobless people will have no self-confidence. And they feel they are worthless because when you don't have a job you have to rely on someone. ~ Aung San Suu Kyi, #NFDB
190:The boy was not insensitive, he knew; but he had the facility and self-confidence that came of looking at fate not as a master but as an equal. ~ Edith Wharton, #NFDB
191:Long words, fat talk they may tell us something about ourselves. Has the passion for fat in the language increased as self-confidence has waned? ~ Russell Baker, #NFDB
192:Medical science begin to notice for good health, peace of mind, self-confidence, optimism is something very important. And also preventive measure. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
193:The secret is contained in a three-part formula I learned in the gym: self confidence, a positive mental attitude, and honest hard work. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger, #NFDB
194:I don't have a lot of self-confidence. I'm getting there. Before I had zero confidence, but it's one of those things you learn and accept. ~ Eliot Paulina Sumner, #NFDB
195:I have characterized Nixon as a loner, a cold man with great self-confidence and a one-track mind centered on the advancement of Richard Nixon. ~ Barry Goldwater, #NFDB
196:There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a King. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
197:True self confidence happens when you stop blaming others for not seeing what you love about yourself. Not everyone has the same list of needs. ~ Shannon L Alder, #NFDB
198:I lack self-confidence. I don't know whether I shall ever get it. Perhaps it is better to be unsure of your self, as I am. But it is very tiring. ~ Audrey Hepburn, #NFDB
199:A person without self-confidence is incapable of being independent, and people who are dependent on their partners always create unhappiness. Always. ~ Ry Murakami, #NFDB
200:Natural play strengthens children's self-confidence and arouses their senses-their awareness of the world and all that moves in it, seen and unseen. ~ Richard Louv, #NFDB
201:lack of self-confidence, a feeling of being unsuited to power, is the emotional training that helps to keep any less-than-equal group in its place. ~ Gloria Steinem, #NFDB
202:If you stop being afraid of lonely you will never feel lonely because courage will give you the necessary self-confidence to solve this problem! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan, #NFDB
203:I believe the process of going from confusion to understanding is a precious, even emotional, experience that can be the foundation of self-confidence. ~ Brian Greene, #NFDB
204:The sense of personal effectiveness and self confidence created by realistic training is as much a stress reducer as when the muscles go on autopilot. ~ Dave Grossman, #NFDB
205:You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
206:Your level of self-confidence is not something you are born with, though it is influenced by the circumstances into which you were born and grew up. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
207:Being a student in an art & design school, that was the moment for me, that was when I began to develop a lot of self-confidence and really come into my own. ~ Tim Gunn, #NFDB
208:If you're a director, your entire livelihood and your entire creativity is based on your self-confidence. Sometimes that's dangerously close to arrogance. ~ Trevor Nunn, #NFDB
209:It gave a tremendous level of self-confidence, that through exploration and learning one could understand seemingly very complex things in one's environment. ~ Steve Jobs, #NFDB
210:Although I enjoy digging through the library to help students find books, my aim is to help them develop self-confidence in choosing books for themselves. ~ Donalyn Miller, #NFDB
211:The greater self-confidence an individual possesses, the less inclined he is to put down others. This says a lot about those who constantly belittle. ~ Richelle E Goodrich, #NFDB
212:A measure of narcissism is healthy. But out of balance, what was once appropriate self-confidence becomes grandiose, pathological, and destructive. ~ Jill Alexander Essbaum, #NFDB
213:People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness. ~ Sanaya Roman, #NFDB
214:The self-confidence that comes with feeling in control is why a person with a clear purpose and a plan always has an edge over someone who is vague or unsure. ~ Brian Tracy, #NFDB
215:To be firm without a complementary flexibility is to be a corpse. Conservative self-confidence without a liberal broad-mindedness becomes chauvinism, pedantry. ~ Dave Lowry, #NFDB
216:We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. ~ Sheryl Sandberg, #NFDB
217:Recovery from trauma involves the restoration of executive functioning and, with it, self-confidence and the capacity for playfulness and creativity. ~ Bessel A van der Kolk, #NFDB
218:Action is a high road to self-confidence and esteem. Where it is open, all energies flow toward it. It comes readily to most people, and its rewards are tangible. ~ Bruce Lee, #NFDB
219:I sort of tend to equate tattoos with prisoners, punks or people with a high level of self-confidence. I don’t necessarily have a covered-in-tattoos personality. ~ Lena Dunham, #NFDB
220:The difference between the university graduate and the autodidact lies not so much in the extent of knowledge as in the extent of vitality and self-confidence. ~ Milan Kundera, #NFDB
221:When we talk about Skill India Mission, we do not merely talk about filling the pockets of people. We want to instil a sense of self-confidence among the poor. ~ Narendra Modi, #NFDB
222:Yet so often it seems that victory eludes us. It is when our self-confidence is finally destroyed and is replaced with dependence upon God that we have victory. ~ K P Yohannan, #NFDB
223:The trouble with you and me and the rest of humanity is not that we lack self-confidence (as we’re told by the world) but that we have far too much self-importance. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
224:To be specific, the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them ~ A W Tozer, #NFDB
225:Developing self-confidence is always the preliminary to becoming a leader. but don't let it become overconfidence, the first station on the track leading to arrogance ~ John Adair, #NFDB
226:Every time you survive a horrible storm you start thinking that you are immortal and this is the most negative and the most dangerous part of self-confidence! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan, #NFDB
227:Power is sexy, not simply in its own right, but because it inspires self-confidence in its owner and a shiver of subservience on the part of those who approach it. ~ Barbara Amiel, #NFDB
228:A sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of your hopes, but self-confidence leads to self-realisation and successful achievement. ~ Norman Vincent Peale, #NFDB
229:I think that generally, being honest with oneself and others about what you are or are not capable of doing can counteract that feeling of lack of self-confidence. ~ Dalai Lama XIV, #NFDB
230:Sumanguru was shaken by Sundiata’s self-confidence, although he was sure his magic would protect him. But Sundiata’s blacksmith was also a well-known wizard. ~ Patricia C McKissack, #NFDB
231:There are two things essential if you want to enhance your Jedi self-confidence:
1/ belief that it is possible
2/ that self-help is the best help ~ Stephen Richards,#NFDB
232:After you develop your Self-confidence and love for God then you can share your experiences with others. But it is a good rule to talk very little, even about God. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
233:I think skateboarding is hugely challenging - it teaches you self-confidence, it teaches you self-motivation, and it can be something that helps you throughout your life. ~ Tony Hawk, #NFDB
234:In fact, the habit of setting and achieving ever-larger goals is absolutely indispensable to the development of ever-higher levels of self-confidence and personal power. ~ Brian Tracy, #NFDB
235:I've learned over the years that identity has a whole lot less to do with location or other people's expectations than with your own sense of self and self-confidence. ~ Deval Patrick, #NFDB
236:Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow. ~ Carol S Dweck, #NFDB
237:Developing concern for others, thinking of them as part of us, brings self-confidence , reduces our sense of suspicion and mistrust, and enables us to develop a calm mind. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
238:Perhaps when you're young you think that something must be profound just because it is difficult and you don't have the self-confidence to say 'this is just nonsense ~ Francis Fukuyama, #NFDB
239:The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. ~ Carlos Castaneda, #NFDB
240:The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
241:Soloing is the most beautiful way of climbing; no material constrains, just you and the rock, the sun, nature; a kind of school for courage, willpower and self-confidence. ~ Alain Robert, #NFDB
242:The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
243:Nothing so bolsters our self-confidence and reconciles us with ourselves as the continuous ability to create; to see things grow and develop under our hand, day in, day out. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
244:We learn to function successfully by experiencing success. Memories of past success act as built-in ‘stored information’ which gives us self-confidence for the present task. ~ Tim Sanders, #NFDB
245:Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense. ~ Arthur Helps, #NFDB
246:For the fact is that it takes a great deal of self-confidence for a person to poke fun at himself, and a person with that kind of self-confidence is rarely a fool or a bungler. ~ Paul Auster, #NFDB
247:High walls and deep precipices on your path or hard rocks and big holes are not real obstacles! There is only one real obstacle on your path: Absence of self-confidence! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan, #NFDB
248:Perhaps self-esteem is just the sum of self-love and self-confidence. People with high self-esteem know they deserve a good life and that they can get almost everything they focus on! ~ Mika, #NFDB
249:The self-confidence of even the consistently successful is never absolute. They are never sure that they know all the ingredients which go into the making of their success. The ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
250:He wasn't proud or arrogant, but there was a self-confidence about him that said he knew what he wanted and he was going to get it, and you'd better not get in his way. ~ Cinda Williams Chima, #NFDB
251:Strengthen the rural areas and you will find less people migrating to urban areas. You give them opportunity, self respect & self confidence, they will never go to an urban slum. ~ Bunker Roy, #NFDB
252:Cultivate a love of skill. Learn theatrical skills. They will give you continual pleasure, self-confidence, and link you to fifty thousand years of the history of our profession. ~ David Mamet, #NFDB
253:Self-confidence means thinking all the time, "God is in me... God is doing everything . . . without God I cannot be . . . all this is God . . . I only want to think of God." ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
254:Experts say that if children can't read by the end of the fifth grade, they lose self-confidence and self-esteem, making them more likely to enter the juvenile justice system. ~ Dirk Kempthorne, #NFDB
255:The shelf where you can find the power to kick start is the shelf of self-confidence. No matter how loaded you are with the right information, you need to pull yourself out! ~ Israelmore Ayivor, #NFDB
256:teenagers who use drugs often suffer from issues related to low self esteem and self confidence, and end up relying on drugs since they are simply unable to cope with their situation. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
257:And if our naïve self-confidence is a little undermined in the process, is that altogether such a loss? Is there not cause to welcome it as a maturing and character-building experience? ~ Carl Sagan, #NFDB
258:At the level at which I work with people, their great talent is paired with great insecurity. Self-doubt is literally the twin of self-confidence. And I have to be there for both. ~ William Ivey Long, #NFDB
259:The woman is scared, wearing her self-confidence like perfume: a heavy, sultry scent to distract onlookers from the broken, blackened pieces of herself she wants no one else to see. ~ Menna van Praag, #NFDB
260:I had the chance to make every possible mistake and figure out a way to recover from it. Once you realize there is life after mistakes, you gain a self-confidence that never goes away. ~ Bob Schieffer, #NFDB
261:National politics and elections are dominated by emotions, by lack of self-confidence, by fear of the other, by insecurity, by infection of the body politic by the virus of victimhood. ~ Tariq Ramadan, #NFDB
262:Where Darth Sidious had gained everything, Vader had lost everything, including–for the moment, at least–the self-confidence and unbridled skill he had demonstrated as Anakin Skywalker. ~ James Luceno, #NFDB
263:I am driven to observe of the ultra-Darwinists the following features as symptomatic. First, to my eyes, is their almost unbelievable self-assurance, their breezy self-confidence. ~ Simon Conway Morris, #NFDB
264:The truth is that the angels of anxiety — those overpowering forces for change in politics, economics, science, morals, and social policy — were at the same time agents for self-confidence. ~ Peter Gay, #NFDB
265:Talent demands that you respect and honor it, and I was still kicking myself around the block seventeen different ways. Talent without the self-confidence to handle it can be terrifying. ~ Debora Geary, #NFDB
266:Perplexity isn’t as noble as conviction, but perhaps more good is done in the name of muddling through uncertainty than is done hacking away with the righteous sword of self-confidence. ~ Gregory Maguire, #NFDB
267:Here is what I say to the children who are our future: never underestimate how denial and a good old-fashioned mild learning disability can team up to come off as unwavering self-confidence. ~ Dan Kennedy, #NFDB
268:Physical wounds can heal, can’t they? But it takes a long time to recover from having your self-confidence and self-esteem crushed to nothing. I watched him smother the life right out of her ~ Sibel Hodge, #NFDB
269:The system of domination is founded on depriving nations of their true identity. It seeks to deprive nations of their culture, identity, self-confidence and in this way dominate them. ~ Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, #NFDB
270:As Sophia held her gaze, it was clear that the magnetism of the Sydney family was not limited to the males. She radiated a mixture of warmth and self-confidence that was impossible to resist. ~ Lisa Kleypas, #NFDB
271:Many people must have looked at my life and thought I was quite fortunate. But I felt lousy about myself - and as you now know, I didn't come from a place where I had a lot of self-confidence. ~ Sally Field, #NFDB
272:The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. from "Tales of Power ~ Carlos Castaneda, #NFDB
273:Unfortunately [René] Lévesque had so little self confidence in Quebec and in the people themselves, that he fell for that and, yes, he'd say, you know, it might be ruinous for us economically. ~ Jane Jacobs, #NFDB
274:BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. But with sound self-confidence you can succeed. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
275:Her imperturbable self-confidence (Duchesse de Maine) caused Madame de Stael to write that the Duchesse believed in herself the same way she believed in God, without explanation or discussion. ~ Antonia Fraser, #NFDB
276:I'm not writing about things other women do. I'm writing for other women to have more self-confidence because I need it myself! And if more women were in power, I would feel more comfortable. ~ Sheryl Sandberg, #NFDB
277:Teaching is the human thing, in terms of building the kids' self-confidence, so if we take the broad ways that we want to see society to be better, science can only provide certain pieces of that. ~ Bill Gates, #NFDB
278:But Parmenides and Heraclitus do agree about one thing: everyone else apart from them is completely confused, unaware of the nature of reality. Pre-Socratics were rarely short on self-confidence. ~ Peter Adamson, #NFDB
279:Several studies have shown that when people increase their activity they also increase their self-confidence, self-acceptance, and sense of personal worth and feel more comfortable in their bodies. ~ Linda Bacon, #NFDB
280:You can't help people being right for the wrong reasons...This fear of finding oneself in bad company is not an expression of political purity; it is an expression of a lack of self-confidence. ~ Arthur Koestler, #NFDB
281:Disempowerment - whether defined in terms of a lack of self-confidence , apathy, fear, or an inability to take charge of one's own life - is perhaps the most unrecognised problem in Africa today. ~ Wangari Maathai, #NFDB
282:God wants us to feel that our way through life is rough and perplexing, so that we may learn to lean on Him. Therefore He takes steps to drive us out of self-confidence to trust in Himself.10 ~ John F MacArthur Jr, #NFDB
283:I like to begin every screenplay with a burst of delusional self-confidence. It tends to fade pretty quickly, but for me, at least, there doesn't seem to be any other way to start writing a script. ~ Michael Arndt, #NFDB
284:Learning from mistakes requires three things: Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes Having the self-confidence to admit to them Being courageous about making changes ~ Scott Berkun, #NFDB
285:[ New York ] is a place that worships incompetence particularly if it's combined with energy and paranoid self-confidence. Only in a city like New York could Truman Capote have made it, or John Simon. ~ Gore Vidal, #NFDB
286:Perhaps well-to-do women and unemployed ghetto teenagers have something in common. Neither group has been allowed to develop the self-confidence that comes from knowing you can support yourselves. ~ Gloria Steinem, #NFDB
287:The downfall of democratic institutions in Russia doesn't add to the self-confidence of either [Vladimir] Putin or his friends, as the loss of power could lead to repercussions in Russian society. ~ Garry Kasparov, #NFDB
288:With uncertainty in one scale, courage and self-confidence should be thrown into the other to correct the balance. The greater they are, the greater the margin that can be left for accidents. ~ Carl von Clausewitz, #NFDB
289:Gracious Providence, to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their place a feeling of self-confidence and contentment? ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, #NFDB
290:The Christian faith from the beginning, is sacrifice the sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of spirit, it is at the same time subjection, self-derision, and self-mutilation. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, #NFDB
291:They did the whole lingering gaze thing, following it with the glancing-away, smiling-knowingly routine. She felt vivacious, a feeling she remembered, she was enjoying the self-confidence, the larkiness. ~ Freya North, #NFDB
292:Being in charge of your work life doesn't mean you always move with assurance and sublime self-confidence; it means you keep moving, continuing on your own path, even when you feel shaky and uncertain. ~ Charlotte Beers, #NFDB
293:When I took my first job, I was among only a handful of women. It was isolating at times. My love for technology kept me going, and I got to where I am today driven by my passion and self confidence. ~ Padmasree Warrior, #NFDB
294:Without self-discovery,” Hahn wrote, extending an idea of Nietzsche’s, “a person may still have self-confidence, but it is a self-confidence built on ignorance and it melts in the face of heavy burdens. ~ Andrew Solomon, #NFDB
295:You sap our self-confidence until we exist merely to court your approval (...) You keep us perpetually off balance, unpleasantly aware of our inferiority, and that's the whole secret of your skill and power. ~ Han Suyin, #NFDB
296:I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence , heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor. ~ Brian Eno, #NFDB
297:I had remained hopeful that, among the millions on this Earth, there might be a few who could summon the courage to know me for what I am and have the self-confidence to still walk part of this life with me. ~ Dean Koontz, #NFDB
298:Real greatness is often hidden, humble, simple, and unobtrusive. It is not easy to trust ourselves and our actions without public affirmation. We must have strong self-confidence combined with deep humility. ~ Henri Nouwen, #NFDB
299:Flow is important both because it makes the present instant more enjoyable, and because it builds the self-confidence that allows us to develop skills and make significant contributions to humankind. ~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, #NFDB
300:[Iain] McGilchrist believes the right brain predates the left—it is older—while the left, he argues, has an often manic self-confidence and “forward-looking” fixation." ~ Gary Lachman, The Secret Teachers of the Western World, #NFDB
301:I don't like clothes that constrict. The idea is that they should accompany and help you. There's nothing superficial about getting dressed. Clothes can give you self-confidence and help you be yourself. ~ Christophe Lemaitre, #NFDB
302:Stop comparing yourself with others. If they are good at something, you too are good at something else. Self-confidence is not measured by your own capabilities versus that of others, but by your own needs. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
303:How was I able to live alone before, my little everything? Without you I lack self-confidence, passion for work, and enjoyment of life--in short, without you, my life is no life. [Written to his wife, Mileva] ~ Albert Einstein, #NFDB
304:he sacked Rome in 410, an event which shocked the Roman world much as 11 September 2001 shocked the United States, a huge, upsetting, symbolic blow to its self-confidence; but it was without other repercussions, ~ Chris Wickham, #NFDB
305:What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. Economists ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
306:When you love yourself you won't need to ask God if someone is being honest with you. You will know already because you wouldn't have asked him if you had the self confidence to know how people should treat you. ~ Shannon L Alder, #NFDB
307:You young people yourselves are capable of performing anything. Our inventors can invent in a high level. Our innovators can innovate in a high level, only if they keep self confidence and believe that we can. ~ Ruhollah Khomeini, #NFDB
308:believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter . . . a man will certainly fail, because he believes in himself. Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
309:I believe the ultimate source of blessings is within us. A good motivation and honesty bring self-confidence , which attracts the trust and respect of others. Therefore the real source of blessings is in our own mind. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
310:Things that are attached to the body do not just add beauty to the body or probably enhance the self confidence of the man within, but they are also the very reasons for pride and excessive self confidence ~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, #NFDB
311:Things that are attached to the body do not just add beauty to the body or probably enhances the self confidence of the man within, but they are also the very reasons for pride and excessive self confidence ~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, #NFDB
312:Unfortunately, unless we're focused on building up our courage, which gives us our self-confidence and all that we need to make quantum change in our lives, the voice of fear will always take the lead inside our minds. ~ Debbie Ford, #NFDB
313:How was I able to live alone before, my little everything? Without you I lack self-confidence, passion for work, and enjoyment of life--in short, without you, my life is no life.
[Written to his wife, Mileva] ~ Albert Einstein,#NFDB
314:Fear is a destructive emotion that can deal a fatal blow to any attempt on your part to build total self-confidence. If you allow your fears to run your life, it will be impossible to create the life you truly desire. ~ Robert Anthony, #NFDB
315:My decision to dare greatly didn’t stem from self-confidence as much as it did from faith in my research. I know I’m a good researcher, and I trusted that the conclusions I had drawn from the data were valid and reliable. ~ Bren Brown, #NFDB
316:I watched Hugo Barrington when he gave his evidence. The same self-confidence, the same arrogance, the same half-truths spouted convincingly to the jury, just as he’d whispered them to me in the privacy of the bedroom. ~ Jeffrey Archer, #NFDB
317:Low self-confidence is simply a problem of Awareness. Once you are aware of the Truth about yourself, you will be able to understand why you are the way you are and, most importantly, learn to love and accept yourself. ~ Robert Anthony, #NFDB
318:A positive self image and healthy self esteem is based on approval, acceptance and recognition from others; but also upon actual accomplishments, achievements and success upon the realistic self confidence which ensues. ~ Abraham Maslow, #NFDB
319:- 'Poise is perfect balance, an equanimity of body and mind, complete composure whatever the social scene. Elegant dress, immaculate grooming, and perfect deportment all contribute to the attainment of self-confidence.' - ~ Muriel Spark, #NFDB
320:Do not imagine that art is something which is designed to give gentle uplift and self-confidence. Art is not a brassiere. At least, not in the English sense. But do not forget that brassiere is the French word for life-jacket ~ Julian Barnes, #NFDB
321:The most beautiful women I've ever observed are those that have exchanged a self-focused life for a Christ-focused one. They are confident, but not in themselves. Instead of self-confidence, they radiate with Christ-confidence. ~ Leslie Ludy, #NFDB
322:For a large corporation to be effective, it must be simple. For an organization to be simple, its people must have self-confidence and intellectual self-assurance. Insecure managers create complexity, real leaders do not clutter. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
323:Do not imagine that Art is something which is designed to give gentle uplift and self-confidence . Art is not a brassiere. At least, not in the English sense. But do not forget that brassiere is the French word for life-jacket. ~ Julian Barnes, #NFDB
324:1. UNWAVERING COURAGE based upon knowledge of self, and of one's occupation. No follower wishes to be dominated by a leader who lacks self-confidence and courage. No intelligent follower will be dominated by such a leader very long. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
325:Self-confidence is confidence in the Atma; it is an unwavering love for the Divinity within you. That is very important. What will help you to develop that confidence? Be equalminded, be satisfied with what you have. Be happy. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
326:Self-confidence is not hope; it is the self-judgment of your own internal forces in their relation to the world without, which results from the failure of many hopes and the non-realization of many fears. ~ Edward Bulwer Lytton 1st Baron Lytton, #NFDB
327:From the freedom to explore comes the joy of learning. From knowledge acquired by personal initiative arises the desire for more knowledge. And from mastery of the novel and beautiful world awaiting every child comes self-confidence. ~ E O Wilson, #NFDB
328:On domestic policy, one of the major stories in American politics has been the growing ideological and political self-confidence of the Democratic Party, and the growing ideological and political pessimism of the Republican Party. ~ Peter Beinart, #NFDB
329:The player of the inner game comes to value the art of relaxed concentration above all other skills; he discovers the true basis for self-confidence; and he learns that the secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard. ~ Timothy Ferriss, #NFDB
330:I wasn't exactly known for self-confidence, but I could taste the cake in my mind. Strong. Earthy. Fragrant. I remembered the nose-prickling aroma of cinnamon when it comes in fragile curls, and the startling power of crushed cloves. ~ Ruth Reichl, #NFDB
331:Imagination, on the contrary, which is ever wandering beyond the bounds of truth, joined to self-love and that self-confidence we are so apt to indulge, prompt us to draw conclusions which are not immediately derived from facts. ~ Antoine Lavoisier, #NFDB
332:No, no.” Amaranthe lifted a hand. “You needn’t let me know you think my idea has promise. It’s been nearly three months since the last time I almost got myself killed, so I’m brimming with self-confidence. I don’t need bolstering. ~ Lindsay Buroker, #NFDB
333:The foundation of self-confidence, the basis of boldness and self-assertion, is a deep inner trust, based on living a life of perfect integrity, and disciplining yourself to live consistent with your highest values in every situation. ~ Brian Tracy, #NFDB
334:Passion is that drive, that self-confidence, that enthusiasm that makes one to resist every obstacle that attempts to stop him from attaining his ultimate status in life and guides him to keep trying till the harvest time is due. ~ Israelmore Ayivor, #NFDB
335:Our confidence in Christ does not make us lazy, negligent, or careless, but on the contrary it awakens us, urges us on, and makes us active in living righteous lives and doing good. There is no self-confidence to compare with this. ~ Huldrych Zwingli, #NFDB
336:The most important point to remember in developing self-confidence is to take responsibility for who we are. This empowers us. We can change anything, do anything, and be anything when we assume full responsibility for ourselves. ~ Rachael Bermingham, #NFDB
337:Fear is a great robber of power. It paralyzes the thinking faculties, ruins spontaneity, enthusiasm, and self confidence. It has a blighting effect upon all one's thoughts, moods, and efforts. It destroys ambition and efficiency. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
338:As a father, my first priority is to help my sons set and attain personal goals so they will develop self-confidence and individual strength. Engaging in regular fitness activities with my children helps me fulfill those responsibilities. ~ Alan Thicke, #NFDB
339:I think this should be called non-victim behavior. A surprise offer of bright cheeriness and self-confidence on people who were probably about to say negative things to you, in order to make you a non-victim and just a member of society. ~ Eddie Izzard, #NFDB
340:The world is full of people who are trying to purchase self-confidence, or manufacture it, or who simply posture it. But you can’t fake confidence, you have to earn it. If you ask me, the only way to do that is work. You have to do the work. ~ Russ Harris, #NFDB
341:Self-confidence is not pride. Just the contrary: only a person or a nation that is self-confident, in the best sense of the word, is capable of listening to others, accepting them as equals, forgiving its enemies and regretting its own guilt. ~ Vaclav Havel, #NFDB
342:It's a new stage and a new moment in my life. I'm moving forward. It feels quite inspiring, fun, and positive. As I get older, I find a greater sense of self-confidence. I've learned that it's fine to not try to be anything else but myself. ~ Jessica Biel, #NFDB
343:Its such a weird self-confidence that an artist has - to conceive of this thing that serves no function and say, Im going to really work hard for it and give it and its just going to matter to people. You really have to believe it all on your own. ~ Dan Colen, #NFDB
344:I'm not confident about my appearance, I'm not confident about anything really in my life, I'm a very tortured soul when it comes to self-confidence, but when it comes to my pop songs, if I started to question, I would never stop questioning. ~ Torquil Campbell, #NFDB
345:So long as Muslims continue looking towards Western civilization as the only force that could regenerate their own stagnant society, they destroy their self-confidence and, indirectly, support the Western assertion that Islam is a "spent force". ~ Muhammad Asad, #NFDB
346:Watching Desiree's breasts rise as her lashes lowered, Felix had an epiphany. She was a dominant, yes, and pushy with it at times, but that didn't mean she had endless self-confidence. She had doubts and worries just like him, needed reassurance. ~ Nalini Singh, #NFDB
347:Faith, enthusiasm, and passionate intensity in general are substitutes for the self-confidence born of experience and the possession of skill. Where there is the necessary skill to move mountains there is no need for the faith that moves mountains. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
348:In an ideal world, the voices that teach us language teach us self-respect, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Those same voices also form in us humility and gratitude, and as those voices inform our inner voices, they also pass on wisdom. ~ Erwin Raphael McManus, #NFDB
349:It was a sweet display of self-confidence, as he no longer felt the need to entertain me or to advertise his claim on my attentions. It goes to show that even a man who craves constant approval can attain self-assurance through a little hanky-panky. ~ Amor Towles, #NFDB
350:After becoming president in 1933, however, this Roosevelt did insist on putting America first. With its banks collapsing, a fourth of its workforce unemployed, and its self-confidence badly shaken, recovery took precedence over everything else. ~ John Lewis Gaddis, #NFDB
351:For our children, you want them to build their own self-esteem and their own self-confidence. For your own child. You don't want it to come from somebody else because, if it does, that same person can take it away. You want them to learn the grind. ~ John Calipari, #NFDB
352:To me the worst thing seems to be a school principally to work with methods of fear, force and artificial authority. Such treatment destroys the sound sentiments, the sincerity and the self-confidence of pupils and produces a subservient subject. ~ Albert Einstein, #NFDB
353:This society doesn't work without booze – our parties aren't good enough, our conversations aren't sufficiently interesting, nor is our self-confidence high enough to sustain our interactions without alcohol. It's everywhere, lubricating everything. ~ David Mitchell, #NFDB
354:The fact is that everyone is much too busily preoccupied with himself to be able to form a serious opinion about another person. The indolent world is all too ready to treat any man with whatever degree of respect corresponds to his own self-confidence. ~ Thomas Mann, #NFDB
355:...It is a proud privilege to be a soldier – a good soldier … [with] discipline, self-respect, pride in his unit and his country, a high sense of duty and obligation to comrades and to his superiors, and a self confidence born of demonstrated ability. ~ George S Patton, #NFDB
356:What do you need me for? Salander's greatest fear, which was so huge and so black that it was of phobic proportions, was that people would laugh at her feelings. And all of a sudden all her carefully constructed self-confidence seemed to crumble. ~ Stieg Larsson, #NFDB
357:It takes great self-confidence to write a newspaper column. Some might say it takes arrogance. Be that as it may, my willingness to pronounce on a great many matters of which I have little or no knowledge is one of my prime qualifications for this trade. ~ Russell Baker, #NFDB
358:The three top issues have to be restoring jobs and private sector job growth to our country, getting the entitlement mess under control, and restoring back to our country a sense of self-confidence that Americans can achieve whatever we want to achieve. ~ Chris Christie, #NFDB
359:In fact, many features of hypomania--such as outgoingness, increased energy, intensified sexuality, increased risk-taking, persuasiveness, self-confidence, and heightened productivity--have been linked with increased achievement and accomplishment. ~ Kay Redfield Jamison, #NFDB
360:Lucid dreaming has considerable potential for promoting personal growth and self-development, enhancing self-confidence, improving mental and physical health, facilitating creative problem solving and helping you to progress on the path to self-mastery. ~ Stephen LaBerge, #NFDB
361:We all have tremendous potential, and we all are blessed with gifts. Yet, the one thing that holds all of us back is some degree of self-doubt. It is not so much the lack of technical information that holds us back, but more the lack of self-confidence. ~ Robert Kiyosaki, #NFDB
362:When we turn our focus away from feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty and intentionally turn our thoughts toward God’s promises of all-sufficiency, we create a turning point and we begin to replace our wavering self-confidence with lasting God-confidence. ~ Renee Swope, #NFDB
363:A gentleman who doesn't have the physical and/or emotional sensitivity to use condoms couldn't possibly possess the self-confidence required to fully procure the infinite sounding of pleasure from the depth of a woman's being, via the endlessness of her cunt. ~ Inga Muscio, #NFDB
364:We all have tremendous potential, and we all are blessed with gifts. Yet, the one thing that holds all of us back is some degree of self-doubt. It is not so much the lack of technical information that holds us back, but more the lack of self-confidence. ~ Robert T Kiyosaki, #NFDB
365:We need to realize that we are as young as our faith and as old as our doubts. We are also as young as our self-confidence and as old as our fears. We are as young as our hopes and as old as our despairs. We will develop faith, self-confidence and hope. ~ A P J Abdul Kalam, #NFDB
366:I think we can really use magic in a way never attempted before to inspire these children, help rally their self-confidence and even help them develop social skills. This is a national effort, not just here in Las Vegas. I know we can give them a true passion. ~ Criss Angel, #NFDB
367:Self-confidence is not a form of arrogance. It is trust in our capacity to awaken. It is both the courage to face whatever life throws at us without losing equanimity, and the humility to treat every situation we encounter as one from which we can learn. ~ Stephen Batchelor, #NFDB
368:You're a kid... You lack self-confidence, think about a lot of things, and pick the safest option. But is what you've chosen so far really considered a safe option? Because of that, you think you're an adult, but... Don't act as though you really understand. ~ Karuho Shiina, #NFDB
369:I tell students that even if they don't like math right now, they can use math as a brain-sharpening tool - a tool that not only builds the foundation for a great career, but that also builds self-confidence, no matter what they choose to do with their lives. ~ Danica McKellar, #NFDB
370:When, as the football coach Bill Walsh explained, "self-confidence becomes arrogance, assertiveness becomes obstinacy, and self-assurance becomes reckless abandon." This is the ego, as the writer Cyril Connolly warned, that "sucks us down like the law of gravity. ~ Ryan Holiday, #NFDB
371:We cannot rely on ourselves, for we have learned by bitter experience the folly of self-confidence. We are compelled to look to the Lord alone. Blessed is the wind that drives the ship into the harbor. Blessed is the distress that forces us to rest in our God. ~ Charles Spurgeon, #NFDB
372:Self-confidence has ever been the best substitute for friends, pedigree, influence, and money. It is the best capital in the world; it has mastered more obstacles, overcome more difficulties, and carried through more enterprises than any other human quality. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
373:What destroys more self-confidence than any other educational thing in America is being assigned to some remedial math when you get into some college, and then it's not taught very well and you end up with this sense of, 'Hey, I can't really figure those things out.' ~ Bill Gates, #NFDB
374:It is pleasant to be transferred from an office where one is afraid of a sergeant-major into an office where one can intimidate generals, and perhaps this is why history is so attractive to the more timid among us. We can recover self-confidence by snubbing the dead. ~ E M Forster, #NFDB
375:The roses don’t care if anyone enjoys their beauty; they simply are beautiful. They are beautiful for themselves, because of what they are. No one made them that way, and they are not dependent on any outsider’s affirmation. How would it be to have such self-confidence? ~ G P Ching, #NFDB
376:When Kate was born, she was born into a world of joy and happiness and confidence. The difference between the children is night and day. She's happy, she's thriving, she's full of self-confidence. I tell her she's beautiful every day before I send her off to school. ~ Lynn Johnston, #NFDB
377:Despite his evasiveness and his determination to hew to a single message, Jobs was a vivid presence. The intensity of his self-confidence made me hang on his every word. He spoke in carefully constructed sentences, even when trying to answer an unexpected question. ~ Brent Schlender, #NFDB
378:The moment you harbor doubt and begin to lose faith in yourself, you capitulate to the enemy. Every time you acknowledge weakness, inefficiency, or lack of ability, you weaken your self-confidence, and that is to undermine the very foundation of all achievement. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
379:Why is self confidence arrogant? Why is self-depreciation considered modesty? I worked my ass off to be able to have a high opinion of myself. It took a long time and many, many years, and I’m never going to tell – let anyone tell me that I should think less of myself. ~ Ronda Rousey, #NFDB
380:Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in his or her perceptions, and self-concept. (..) Eventually, the recipient loses all sense of self and all remnants of personal value. ~ Beverly Engel, #NFDB
381:Self-awareness and healthy self-love go hand in hand. When we love what God has given us and share it with others naturally and without expectations for gratitude we are truly people who have spiritual self-confidence and compassion; and isn't that a great way to live? ~ Robert J Wicks, #NFDB
382:Grosvenor and Burke suggest that continually, though silently, a school building tells students who they are and how they should think about the world. It can help to manufacture rote obedience or independent activity; it can create high self-confidence or low self-esteem. ~ Alison Lurie, #NFDB
383:The best leaders are apt to be found among those executives who have a strong component of unorthodoxy in their characters. Instead of resisting innovation, they symbolize it – and companies cannot grow without innovation. Great leaders almost always exude self-confidence. ~ David Ogilvy, #NFDB
384:The man of authentic self-confidence is the man who relies on the judgment of his own mind. Such a man is not malleable; he may be mistaken, he may be fooled in a given instance, but he is inflexible in regard to the absolutism of reality, i.e., in seeking and demanding truth. ~ Ayn Rand, #NFDB
385:In the long run there is no more liberating, no more exhilarating experience than to determine one’s position, state it bravely, and then act boldly. Action brings with it its own courage, its own energy, a growth of self-confidence that can be acquired in no other way ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, #NFDB
386:I've often been struck by the extensive knowledge that people have of sports, and particularly, their self-confidence in discussing it with experts. . . . In contrast, when discussing matters of concern to human lives - their own and others - people tend to defer to experts. ~ Noam Chomsky, #NFDB
387:An indoor (or backseat) childhood does reduce some dangers to children; but other risks are heightened, including risks to physical and psychological health, risk to children's concept and perception of community, risk to self-confidence and the ability to discern true danger ~ Richard Louv, #NFDB
388:There are many types of emotional abuse but most is done in an attempt to control or subjugate another person. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self, trust in her perceptions and self-concept. ~ Beverly Engel, #NFDB
389:This new resolve gave her a sort of light-headed self-confidence: when she left the dinner-table she felt so easy and careless that she was surprised to see that the glass of champagne beside her plate was untouched. She felt as if all its sparkles were whirling through her. ~ Edith Wharton, #NFDB
390:Only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it wins the "treasure hard to attain." He alone has a genuine claim to self-confidence, for he has faced the dark ground of his self and thereby has gained himself. This experience gives him faith and trust. ~ Carl Jung, #NFDB
391:True self-confidence is “the courage to be open—to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source.” Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow. ~ Carol S Dweck, #NFDB
392:We can never really be prepared for that which is wholly new. We have to adjust ourselves, and every radical adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem: we undergo a test, we have to prove ourselves. It needs subordinate self-confidence to face drastic change without inner trembling. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
393:Your self-confidence is simply the part of your brain that tells you whether or not you should try something different or new or believe in yourself, and just as a Jedi truly believes that it is within their power to control their thoughts and stay in the Light, so can you. ~ Stephen Richards, #NFDB
394:I have done a few roles that I've never watched, and if I happen to be flicking through channels and one pops up, I quickly move on. It's hard enough to sustain some self confidence without being reminded of things we'd rather not revisit but, in the end, it comes with the territory. ~ Terry O Quinn, #NFDB
395:Fighter pilot is an attitude. It is cockiness. It is aggressiveness. It is self-confidence. It is a streak of rebelliousness, and it is competitiveness. But there's something else - there's a spark. There's a desire to be good. To do well; in the eyes of your peers, and in your own mind. ~ Robin Olds, #NFDB
396:Positive thinking is no longer for drifters, dreamers and the perpetually naive. People who think positively see more opportunities, perform better, take more often correct and sound decisions, have more self-confidence, maintain better relations and have more trust placed in them ~ Herman Van Rompuy, #NFDB
397:Ignore any loss of nerve, ignore any loss of self-confidence, ignore any doubt or confusion. Move on believing in love, in peace, and harmony, and in great accomplishment. Remember joy isn't a stranger to you. You are winning and you are strong. Love. Love first, love always, love forever. ~ Anne Rice, #NFDB
398:And in situations where a man and a woman each receive negative feedback, the woman's self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree. The internalization of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt future performance, so this pattern has serious long-term consequences. ~ Sheryl Sandberg, #NFDB
399:Even the wealthiest professional woman can be "brought down" by being in a relationship where she longs to be loved and is consistently lied to. To the degree that she trusts her male companion, lying and other forms of betrayal will most likely shatter her self-confidence and self-esteem. ~ Bell Hooks, #NFDB
400:Even the wealthiest professional woman can be "brought down" by being in a relationship where she longs to be loved and is consistently lied to. To the degree that she trusts her male companion, lying and other forms of betrayal will most likely shatter her self-confidence and self-esteem. ~ bell hooks, #NFDB
401:We can never really be prepared for that which is wholly new. We have to adjust ourselves, and every radical adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem: we undergo a test, we have to prove ourselves. It needs subordinate self-confidence to face drastic change without inner trembling. —Eric Hoffer ~ David Allen, #NFDB
402:As a mathematician, von Neumann was quick, brilliant, efficient, and enormously broad in scientific interests beyond mathematics itself. He knew his technical abilities; his virtuosity in following complicated reasoning and his insights were supreme; yet he lacked absolute self confidence. ~ Stanislaw Ulam, #NFDB
403:By 1967 McNamara was pacing about his expansive Pentagon office, staring at the large framed photograph of Defense Secretary Forrestal (who had committed suicide), and weeping. By late 1967 Johnson had given up on him. The war had savaged the self-confidence of the most certain of men.53 ~ James T Patterson, #NFDB
404:Jesus' prayer for Peter shows the same pattern in sharp relief. Satan partially got his way with Peter, sifting him like wheat. But in answer to Jesus' prayer, the sifting rid Peter of his least attractive qualities: blustery self-confidence, a chip on his shoulder, a propensity to violence. ~ Philip Yancey, #NFDB
405:If you feel inadequate to face challenges, unworthy of love or respect, untitled to happiness, and fear assertive thought, wants, or needs- if you lack basic self trust, self-respect, and self-confidence- your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess. ~ Nathaniel Branden, #NFDB
406:Notwithstanding these feelings of insecurity, which were especially obvious in the immediate aftermath of the war, the leaders of America's postwar foreign policy—a group that came to be known as the Establishment—developed a self-confidence that occasionally bordered on self-righteousness. ~ James T Patterson, #NFDB
407:Failure feelings - fear, anxiety, lack of self-confidence - do not spring from some heavenly oracle. They are not written in the stars. They are not holy gospel. Nor are they intimations of a set and decided fate which means that failure is decreed and decided. They originate from your own mind. ~ Maxwell Maltz, #NFDB
408:My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I hadn’t fallen into the fatal folly of reading anything I could lay hands on. With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist. ~ Robert A Heinlein, #NFDB
409:In the United States everyone feels assured of his worth as an individual. No one humbles himself before another person or class. Even the great difference in wealth, the superior power of a few, cannot undermine this healthy self-confidence and natural respect for the dignity of one’s fellow-man. ~ Albert Einstein, #NFDB
410:Providing students with the opportunity to choose their own books to read empowers and encourages them. It strengthens their self-confidence, rewards their interests, and promotes a positive attitude toward reading by valuing the reader and giving him or her a level of control. Readers without power ~ Donalyn Miller, #NFDB
411:Self-confidence is not about how much you know and how much you've gained. It's about having trust in your ability to learn new information and find new ways. Feeling secure isn't about knowing you're safe on top of the mountain, it's about trusting in your ability to climb it again if you should fall. ~ Emily Maroutian, #NFDB
412:When it gets complicated, that’s usually because the world is complicated—or because we’re complicated. When we shy away from it because it seems too difficult (or because we’ve been taught so poorly), we surrender the ability to take charge of our future. We are disenfranchised. Our self-confidence erodes. ~ Carl Sagan, #NFDB
413:He had thought of her poise as being that of a woman of experience, and been a little afraid of it, he saw it now as the self-confidence of a girl whose adolescent pride had never been shattered. And now it had been shattered, by humble old Harriet of all people, and they could start again together.... ~ Elizabeth Goudge, #NFDB
414:My after forty face felt far more comfortable than anything I lived with previously. Self-confidence was a powerful beauty-potion; I looked better because I felt better. Failure and grief as well as success and love had served me well. Finally, I was tapping into that most hard-won of your dews: wisdom. ~ Nancy A Collins, #NFDB
415:After I graduated from high school, one of the former workers on our farm asked if I would be willing to join him in selling Fuller brushes through the summer. It seemed like a perfect way to make some money for college. And being away from my parents and learning to make my own way gave me self confidence. ~ Billy Graham, #NFDB
416:A mystic doesn’t say “I believe.” They say “I know.” A true mystic will ironically speak with that self-confidence but at the same time with a kind of humility. So when you see that combination of calm self-confidence, certitude, and humility all at the same time you have the basis for mysticism in general. ~ Richard Rohr, #NFDB
417:Self-confidence is a must for a fulfilled life. If you have a divine self-confidence, you know how fortunate you are. Study yourself, you have awareness and infinite power within you. choose to build an image in your marvelous mind of what you want to do. Happiness, health and prosperity will be your rewards. ~ Bob Proctor, #NFDB
418:Acquisition of knowledge is not the end, but the means to the end; the end consists in the attainment, thanks to this knowledge of the higher worlds, of greater and truer self-confidence, a higher degree of courage, and a magnanimity and perseverance such as cannot, as a rule, be acquired in the lower world. ~ Rudolf Steiner, #NFDB
419:One of the marvelous things about community is that it enables us to welcome and help people in a way we couldn't as individuals. When we pool our strength and share the work and responsibility, we can welcome many people, even those in deep distress, and perhaps help them find self-confidence and inner healing. ~ Jean Vanier, #NFDB
420:We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: 'You are ugly." Or: 'She is pretty.' With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence. And we become ugly and embittered. ~ Paulo Coelho, #NFDB
421:There are a lot of them, all around the wsorld, all built a lifetime ago, during the long and spectacular blaze of American military power and self-confidence, when there was nothing we couldn't or wouldn't do. I was a product of that era, but not a part of it. I was nostalgic for something I had never experienced. ~ Lee Child, #NFDB
422:We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.…The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
423:The biggest moments of insecurity come when all self-confidence is lost and you feel like people are watching and judging. It should be the opposite. You should feel like the people who are watching care about you. This is something we can try to give each other – the feeling that eyes signal support, not disdain. ~ Miley Cyrus, #NFDB
424:Having some support and the reassurance that my family, friends, or others will help me when I am anxious will often reduce my anxiety and panic. But because such support and reassurance may not exist or may not continue, I’d better not rely on it solely. I also had better gain self-confidence and self-support. 8. ~ Albert Ellis, #NFDB
425:Recipe for success:
Multiple years of working hard
Five containers of planning smart
A blend of perseverance and sacrifice
A wee bit sleep to pay the price
A mountain of self-confidence
And a huge boatload of common sense
A wad of constructive connections
And a regular pause for reflections ~ Joan Marques,#NFDB
426:High school is a really strange time - you're not a kid, you're not an adult. You're about to be an adult, you're going to have to make some really intense decisions. It's a really pivotal time to have as much self-confidence as you possibly can. Even if that means you have one friend who supports you completely. ~ Tyler Blackburn, #NFDB
427:Youth is not entirely a time of life; it is a state of mind. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubts; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~ Douglas MacArthur, #NFDB
428:First comes Self-confidence, that is the foundation. Then comes Self-satisfaction, it is like the wall. Next comes self-sacrifice, it is like the roof. Finally the house is complete and the Indweller is installed inside; that is Self-realization. It starts with Self-confidence and it ends with realizing the Self. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
429:The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence , the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
430:I had over-trained. I put too much pressure on myself because I wanted that gold medal too much. If I had trained 15 per cent less, I would have won. I was training like a crazy person. There was a lack of self-confidence and a lack of maturity. An athlete does not only train with his body. He trains with his mind. ~ Hicham El Guerrouj, #NFDB
431:Hippies started the ecology movement. They combated racism. They liberated sexual stereotypes, encouraged change, individual pride, and self-confidence. They questioned robot materialism. In four years they managed to stop the Vietnam War. They got marijuana decriminalized in fourteen states during the Carter Administration. ~ Timothy Leary, #NFDB
432:It seems to me that self confidence and the ability to stand one's ground are essential if we want to succeed in life. I am not talking of stupid self-assurance but of an awareness of our inner potential, a certainty that we can always correct our behavior, improve ourselves, enrich ourselves, and that things are never hopeless ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
433:The idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation is a toxic cultural myth that robs guys of self-confidence and that holds them up to an unrealistic standard that they have to become a super-extraverted narcissist in order to 'score with women' ~ Tucker Max, #NFDB
434:In our own lives, having a mind-set of expecting to win increases our odds of winning. It helps us get better results. And better results help us increase our credibility and self-confidence, which leads to more positive self-expectancy, and more winning - and the upward cycle continues. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. ~ Stephen Covey, #NFDB
435:Self-confidence seemed to me more mimicry than anything else and I suggested visiting Clifton Zoo to watch the leaders in a group of baboons, and learn from them: make your gestures slow and deliberate; cultivate a deeper voice; appear casual at all times; eschew all rapid movements. That was all you had to do to look confident. ~ John Cleese, #NFDB
436:Real self-confidence is not based on our achievements or our successes in this world but it is based on the fulfillment of who we are, what our purpose is, and what we represent to ourselves, to our families, and to the world around us. If a person has such self-confidence, then he can generate faith and confidence in others. ~ Radhanath Swami, #NFDB
437:You look like a drug addict,” Mom says. “It washes you out completely.” “Wow. Thanks, Mom,” I tell her, swallowing the lump her words bring up in my throat. “I can always count on you to build up my self-confidence.” “Would you feel better if I lied to you?” Mom asks. “Okay, fine. You look like Miss America. There, happy? ~ Sarah Darer Littman, #NFDB
438:As soon as you put men together, they somehow sink, corporatively, below the level of the worst of the individuals composing it. Collect scholars on a club committee, or men of science on a jury; all their virtues vanish, and their vices pop out, reinforced by the self-confidence which the power of numbers is bound to bestow. ~ Aleister Crowley, #NFDB
439:Once we have a firm practice of compassion our state of mind becomes stronger which leads to inner peace, giving rise to self-confidence, which reduces fear. This makes for constructive members of the community. Self-centredness on the other hand leads to distance, suspicion, mistrust and loneliness, with unhappiness as the result. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
440:Each of you should feel that you have great potential and that, with self-confidence and a little more effort, change really is possible if you want it. If you feel that your present way of life is unpleasant or has some difficulties, then don't look at these negative things. See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
441:her self-confidence was one of those markers I’ve always held up to myself as proof that I had done a decent job as a father, a true indicator that she had grown strong and self-sufficient and would not be buffeted too easily by whatever life threw at her, nor would she shirk those moments when she would have to stand her ground ~ Mike McCormack, #NFDB
442:It requires courage not to surrender oneself to the ingenious or compassionate counsels of despair that would induce a man to eliminate himself from the ranks of the living; but it does not follow from this that every huckster who is fattened and nourished in self-confidence has more courage than the man who yielded to despair. ~ Soren Kierkegaard, #NFDB
443:It requires courage not to surrender oneself to the ingenious or compassionate counsels of despair that would induce a man to eliminate himself from the ranks of the living; but it does not follow from this that every huckster who is fattened and nourished in self-confidence has more courage than the man who yielded to despair. ~ S ren Kierkegaard, #NFDB
444:Worry is a state of mind based upon fear. It works slowly, but persistently. It is insidious and subtle. Step by step it “digs itself in” until it paralyzes ones reasoning faculty, destroys self-confidence and initiative. Worry is a form of sustained fear caused by indecision therefore it is a state of mind which can be controlled. ~ Napoleon Hill, #NFDB
445:In contrast, Indian Hindus imposed on themselves caste rules that discouraged the crossing of the seas. Why did a people with such a strong maritime tradition impose these restrictions on themselves? Was it a loss of civilizational self-confidence? I have long looked for a satisfactory answer but have not yet found one. Nonetheless, ~ Sanjeev Sanyal, #NFDB
446:She could have made a much better thing of that, if she had not been afraid of giving herself away. What hampered her was this sense of being in the middle of things, too close to things, pressed upon and bullied by reality. If she could succeed in standing aside from herself she would achieve self-confidence and a better control. ~ Dorothy L Sayers, #NFDB
447:What matters most in a child's development, they say, is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit and self-confidence. ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
448:The greatest step toward success is self confidence. The greatest builder of self confidence is self esteem, and self esteem comes from doing the daily things you know you should do. Your self esteem will start to soar when you make some critical decisions - decisions to walk a new road, to start a new direction, to start a new discipline. ~ Jim Rohn, #NFDB
449:What matters most in a child’s development, they say, is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
450:Confidence - people can mistake confidence for cockiness. In my experience, the mistake is not so much about how high I think of myself or how high anyone thinks about themselves, but rather how little people think of themselves. Aspire to be as high as you can be. Potential is limitless if you have a high self-confidence and self-esteem. ~ Kailin Gow, #NFDB
451:Some of science is very simple. When it gets complicated, that’s usually because the world is complicated—or because we’re complicated. When we shy away from it because it seems too difficult (or because we’ve been taught so poorly), we surrender the ability to take charge of our future. We are disenfranchised. Our self-confidence erodes. ~ Carl Sagan, #NFDB
452:But I noted with real satisfaction how well ex-footballers seemed to have leadership qualifications . . . I believe that football, perhaps more than any other sport, tends to instill in men the feeling that victory comes through hard - almost slavish - work, team play, self-confidence, and an enthusiasm that amounts to dedication. ~ Dwight D Eisenhower, #NFDB
453:And what voices! A sort of over-fedness, a fatuous self-confidence, a constant bah-bahing of laughter about nothing, above all a sort of heaviness & richness combined with a fundamental ill-will—people who, one instinctively feels, without even being able to see them, are the enemies of anything intelligent or sensitive or beautiful. ~ Thomas E Ricks, #NFDB
454:Adam wasn't certain what came first with Blue--her treating the boys as friends, or them all becoming friends. It seemed to Adam that this circular way to build relationships required a healthy amount of self-confidence to undertake. And it was a strange sort of magic that it felt like she'd always been hunting for Glendower with them. ~ Maggie Stiefvater, #NFDB
455:Adam wasn't certain what came first with Blue--her treating the boys as friends, or them all becoming friends. It seemed to Adam that this circular way to build relationships required a healthy amount of self-confidence to undertake. And it was a strange dirty of magic that it felt like she'd always been hunting for Glendower with them. ~ Maggie Stiefvater, #NFDB
456:The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity. ~ Carlos Castaneda, #NFDB
457:If we focus our Judger mindset on ourselves, for example, with questions such as, Why am I such a failure? we hurt our self-confidence and may even feel depressed. On the other hand, if we focus our Judger mindset on others, with questions such as, Why is everyone around me so stupid and frustrating? we tend to get angry, resentful, and hostile. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
458:Providing students with the opportunity to choose their own books to read empowers and encourages them. It strengthens their self-confidence, rewards their interests, and promotes a positive attitude toward reading by valuing the reader and giving him or her a level of control. Readers without power to make their own choices are unmotivated. ~ Donalyn Miller, #NFDB
459:The present looks back at some great figure of an earlier century and wonders, Was he on our side? Was he a goodie? What a lack of self-confidence this implies: the present wants both to patronise the past by adjudicating on its political acceptability, and also to be flattered by it, to be patted on the back and told to keep up the good work. ~ Julian Barnes, #NFDB
460:General Douglas MacArthur said, “Youth is not entirely a time of life; it is a state of mind. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals.… You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~ John C Maxwell, #NFDB
461:I think it's important for girls at a young age to be involved in as many things as possible. Especially safe communities of people that teach them great life lessons like self-confidence and courage. And getting girls to go to camp especially in the summer where they can meet new friends, learn new things, and not just sit at home and watch TV. ~ Shawn Johnson, #NFDB
462:euphoria as a state of intense happiness and self-confidence, a blissful self-clarity if you will, and most people throughout their lives search and strive for this feeling. Why many never achieve it is because they never learn how to love themselves. When you discover the true beauty of self-love, then and only then, will you experience pure euphoria. ~ Erin Noelle, #NFDB
463:What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us sometimes think of them as character. ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
464:Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. But with self-confidence you can succeed. A sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of your hopes, but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement. ~ Norman Vincent Peale, #NFDB
465:I've learned that a certain amount of self-doubt is a good tool for correcting, understanding, listening, and progressing - though too much is paralyzing and total self-confidence produces arrogant idiots. There's a happy medium between these poles to which the genders have been pushed, a warm equatorial belt of give and take where we should all meet. ~ Rebecca Solnit, #NFDB
466:compassion and affection help the brain to function more smoothly.15 Secondarily, compassion gives us inner strength; it gives us self-confidence and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our mind calm. Therefore, compassion has two functions: it causes our brain to function better and it brings inner strength. These, then, are the causes of happiness. ~ Andrew Weil, #NFDB
467:A woman will not understand what true dependency is until she is cradling her own infant in her arms; nor will she likely achieve the self-confidence she craves until she has withstood, and transcended, the weight of responsibility a family places upon her -- a weight that makes all the paperwork and assignments of her in-basket seem feather-light. ~ Danielle Crittenden, #NFDB
468:In Steiger's case, of course, his high connectedness is a function of his versatility as an actor and, in all likelihood, some degree of good luck. But in the case of Connectors, their ability to span many different worlds is a function of something intrinsic to their personality, some combination of curiosity, self-confidence, sociability, and energy. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
469:I've always felt that maybe one of the reasons that I did well as a student and made such good grades was because I lacked confidence. Lacked self-confidence, and I never felt that I was prepared to take an examination, and I had to study a little bit extra. So that sort of lack of confidence helped me, I think, to make a good record when I was a student. ~ Denton Cooley, #NFDB
470:The person who imagined that he could not be the victim of propaganda because he could distinguish truth from falsehood, is extremely susceptible to propaganda, because when propaganda does tell the truth, he is then convinced that it is no longer propaganda: moreover, his self-confidence makes him all the more vulnerable to attacks of which he is unaware. ~ Jacques Ellul, #NFDB
471:Cultivating care and concern for others gives rise to a kind of inner strength. No matter what difficulties or problems you face, in this wider context they’ll seem less significant and troubling to you. The inner strength, self-confidence and courage you gain by focussing on others’ needs instead of your own, brings with it a deep, calm sense of satisfaction. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
472:For an intelligence service, there is no process more painful and debilitating than an internal hunt for an unidentified traitor. The damage Philby did to MI6’s self-confidence was far greater and more enduring than anything he inflicted by spying for the KGB. A mole does not just foment mistrust. Like a heretic, he undermines the coherence of faith itself. ~ Ben Macintyre, #NFDB
473:BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. But with sound self-confidence you can succeed. A sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of your hopes, but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement. ~ Norman Vincent Peale, #NFDB
474:Finally, here’s to everyone who has survived something devastating—something that shattered your self-confidence and distorted your world in one blow. Whether you were fierce in the face of it or fell to pieces or shoved it out of sight for years—I don’t care how you got here. Every day you are stronger. Every day you are healing. Every day that you survive, ~ Tammara Webber, #NFDB
475:Confidence is not lodged in people's brains, it comes from the support system that surrounds them. Let's not confuse confidence overall with just self-confidence. Self-confidence is only one part of confidence. People also need confidence in others - their colleagues and leaders - that they can count on them to do the right thing and not to let them down. ~ Rosabeth Moss Kanter, #NFDB
476:In many parts of the Islamic world, secular forces, where they exist, tend to be so unsure of themselves, so lacking in self-confidence, that in many cases they line themselves up fairly squarely behind the imperial project and that then creates a big vacuum in which the Islamists become the dominant power because they are the only ones then who are seen as resisting. ~ Tariq Ali, #NFDB
477:Let us keep before us the fact that, almost without exception, every race or nation that has ever got upon its feet has done so through struggle and trial and persecution; and that out of this very resistance to wrong, out of the struggle against odds, they have gained strength, self-confidence, and experience which they could not have gained in any other way. ~ Booker T Washington, #NFDB
478:Narcissism isn't vanity, Anna. We're all narcissists to a degree. A measure of narcissism is healthy. But out of balance, what was once appropriate self-confidence becomes grandiose, pathological, and destructive. You have little regard for those around you. You do what you will with a libertine's abandon. Boredom sets in. A bored woman is a dangerous woman. ~ Jill Alexander Essbaum, #NFDB
479:Self-esteem is reliance on one's power to think. It cannot be replaced by one's power to deceive. The self-confidence of a scientist and the self-confidence of a con man are not interchangeable states, and do not come from the same psychological universe. The success of a man who deals with reality augments his self-confidence. The success of a con man augments his panic. ~ Ayn Rand, #NFDB
480:It seemed perfectly possible that, in spite of my certainty of my own genius, I might die of some illness, or perhaps even in a street accident, before I had ever glimpsed the meaning of life. My moods of happiness and self-confidence convinced me that I had a "destiny" to become a famous writer, and to be remembered as one of the most important thinkers of the century. ~ Colin Wilson, #NFDB
481:When he had first met her, Royal had taken for granted her absolute self-confidence, but in fact the reverse was true - far from being sure of herself, Anne needed constantly to re-establish her position on the top rung of the ladder. By comparison, the professional people around her, who had achieved everything as a result of their own talents, were models of self-assurance ~ J G Ballard, #NFDB
482:Let us watch against unbelief, pride, and self-confidence. If we go forth in our own strength, we shall faint, and utterly fall; but, waiting on the Lord, out of weakness we shall be made strong. Having our hearts and our hopes in heaven, we shall be carried above all difficulties, and be enabled to press forward and lay hold of the prize of our high calling in Christ Jesus. ~ Matthew Henry, #NFDB
483:These unwritten amenities have been in part responsible for giving our people the feeling of independence and self-confidence, the feeling of creativity. These amenities have dignified the right of dissent and have honored the right to be nonconformists and the right to defy submissiveness. They have encouraged lives of high spirits rather than hushed, suffocating silence. ~ William O Douglas, #NFDB
484:Wonder Woman' was conceived by Dr. Marston to set up a standard among children and young people of strong, free, courageous womanhood; and to combat the idea that women are inferior to men, and to inspire girls to self-confidence and achievement in athletics, occupations, and professions monopolized by men." She wasn't meant to be a superwoman; she was meant to be an everywoman. ~ Jill Lepore, #NFDB
485:Too many people believe that one big, public success will solve their self-confidence problems forever. That only happens in the movies. In real life, the opposite strategy is what works. Call it the small victo-ries approach. In time you will discover that all failing really does teach you something you needed to know- so you can regroup and stretch again, with ever more...nerve. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
486:her father would have found her performance enchanting, would have scooped her up in his arms and called her his sea anemone. His approval sparked magic into the blandest day, could layer her in the self-confidence and security she otherwise might lack; and without it, without him, she felt small, and helpless, and the idea of sleeping in a parking lot suddenly seemed very real. ~ Anthony Marra, #NFDB
487:Faith takes us to deep places, to the ruptures in our self-confidence and our lives. Do not settle for spiritual comfort all the time...Darkness is divine also. Faith is not about positive thinking so much as about what kicks in when we are weak, sick, and short of self-confidence. The via positiva never stands alone. The via negativa is always with us on our faith journey as well. ~ Matthew Fox, #NFDB
488:With the realization of ones own potential and self-confidence in ones ability, one can build a better world. According to my own experience, self-confidence is very important. That sort of confidence is not a blind one; it is an awareness of ones own potential. On that basis, human beings can transform themselves by increasing the good qualities and reducing the negative qualities. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
489:God shatters our self-confidence and self-righteousness, so that we will put our faith in Jesus Christ. Luther goes on to say that “hunger is the best cook. As the dry earth thirsts for rain, so the Law makes the troubled heart thirst for Christ. To such hearts Christ tastes sweetest, to them He is joy, comfort, and life. Only then are Christ and His work understood correctly. ~ Thomas R Schreiner, #NFDB
490:But the problems of perpetuating a hierarchical society go deeper than this. There are only four ways in which a ruling group can fall from power. Either it is conquered from without, or it governs so inefficiently that the masses are stirred to revolt, or it allows a strong and discontented Middle group to come into being, or it loses its own self-confidence and willingness to govern. ~ George Orwell, #NFDB
491:The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warmheartedness. This really brings inner strength and self-confidence, reduces fear, develops trust, and trust brings friendship. We are social animals, and cooperation is necessary for our survival, but cooperation is entirely based on trust. When there is trust, people are brought together—whole nations are brought together. ~ Dalai Lama XIV, #NFDB
492:An educator's most important task, one might say his holy duty, is to see to it that no child is discouraged at school, and that a child who enters school already discouraged regains his self-confidence through his school and his teacher. This goes hand in hand with the vocation of the educator, for education is possible only with children who look hopefully and joyfully upon the future. ~ Alfred Adler, #NFDB
493:So removed had the British now become from their Indian subjects, and so dismissive were they of Indian opinion, that they had lost all ability to read the omens around them or to analyse their own position with any degree of accuracy. Arrogance and imperial self-confidence had diminished the desire to seek accurate information or gain any real knowledge of the state of the country. ~ William Dalrymple, #NFDB
494:From the freedom to explore comes the joy of learning. From knowledge acquired by personal initiative arises the desire for more knowledge. And from mastery of the novel and beautiful world awaiting every child comes self-confidence. The growth of a naturalist is like the growth of a musician or athlete: excellence for the talented, lifelong enjoyment for the rest, benefit for humanity. ~ Edward O Wilson, #NFDB
495:Self-respect is not the same as self-confidence or self-esteem. Self-respect is not based on IQ or any of the mental or physical gifts that help get you into a competitive college. It is not comparative. It is not earned by being better than other people at something. It is earned by being better than you used to be, by being dependable in times of testing, straight in times of temptation. ~ David Brooks, #NFDB
496:What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us sometimes think of them as character. For certain skills, the stark calculus ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
497:When someone is unrelentingly critical of you, always finds fault, can never be pleased, and blames you for everything that goes wrong, it is the insidious nature and cumulative effects of the abuse that do the damage. Over time, this type of abuse eats away at your self-confidence and sense of self-worth, undermining any good feelings you have about yourself and about your accomplishments . ~ Beverly Engel, #NFDB
498:Adolescents swing from euphoric self-confidence and a kind of narcissistic strength in which they feel invulnerable and even immortal, to despair, self-emptiness, self-deprecation. At the same time they seem to see an emerging self that is unique and wonderful, they suffer an intense envy which tears narcissism into shreds, and makes other people's qualities hit them like an attack of lasers. ~ Terri E Apter, #NFDB
499:Once you develop confidence in your own ability, you'll be able to make a real contribution to creating a better world. Self-confidence is very important. Not in the sense of blind pride, but as a realistic awareness of what you can do. As human beings we can transform ourselves by our good qualities and reducing our faults. Our intelligence enables us to judge what is good from what is harmful. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
500:I’ve always been impressed by Kobe’s resilience and ironclad self-confidence. Unlike Shaq, who was often plagued by self-doubt, Kobe never let such thoughts cross his mind. If someone set the bar at ten feet, he’d jump eleven, even if no one had ever done it before. That’s the attitude he brought with him when he arrived at training camp that fall, and it had a powerful impact on his teammates. ~ Phil Jackson, #NFDB
501:I had sipped some champagne at Full House wrap parties before, but this glass of wine was my first real drink.
I downed the whole glass. I felt a rush of energy course through my body. I instantly felt like a new person.
That first drink gave me the self-confidence I had been searching for all this time. That first drink, that was it: the key to everything I was missing in life. ~ Jodie Sweetin,#NFDB
502:What I've taken from my spiritual study is the wisdom of living a balanced life. My spiritual path has also helped me to be more emotionally centered, to be more understanding of those that disagree with me, and to learn how to let go of some of my power issues so that I can be more effective and bring a sense of humility to my work - while still having the self-confidence to be effective. ~ Corinne McLaughlin, #NFDB
503:Self-confidence is very important. If you don't think you can win, you will take cowardly decisions in the crucial moments, out of sheer respect for your opponent. You see the opportunity but also greater limitations than you should. I have always believed in what I do on the chessboard, even when I had no objective reason to. It is better to overestimate your prospects than underestimate them. ~ Magnus Carlsen, #NFDB
504:The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to himself. Perhaps you are chasing rainbows. You're after the self-confidence of the average man, when you should be after the humbleness of a warrior. The difference between the two is remarkable. Self Confidence entails knowing something for sure; humbleness entails being impeccable in one's actions and feelings. ~ Carlos Castaneda, #NFDB
505:Self-confidence is not the same thing as ego. This is not to say that the two don’t (frequently) dance hand in hand down the street, pushing over old ladies in crosswalks and kicking baby kittens. But they are definitely not the same entity. Ego is thinking you have all the answers. Self-confidence is knowing you don’t have the answers, but being pretty sure that you will be able to find them. ~ Maggie Stiefvater, #NFDB
506:What we don’t protect ourselves against are people and things that make us feel good—or rather, too good. We must prepare for pride and kill it early—or it will kill what we aspire to. We must be on guard against that wild self-confidence and self-obsession. “The first product of self-knowledge is humility,” Flannery O’Connor once said. This is how we fight the ego, by really knowing ourselves. The ~ Ryan Holiday, #NFDB
507:My mother didn't feel sorry for herself, she was left with no child support, no alimony at a very young age, with a child to raise, a high school education and she just figured it out. She didn't complain, she didn't rely upon government, she relied upon her own skill set, her own self confidence, her own drive in moxie and her own duty to me and her and she relied upon her family and her faith. ~ Kellyanne Conway, #NFDB
508:When you complain you actually weaken yourself. You generate feelings in yourself of inferiority and inadequacy. You feel angry and resentful. You feel negative and unsure. Your level of self-confidence and self-respect actually declines as you complain about anything to someone else. You hurt yourself by complaining much more than you hurt the target of the complaints, who you may not affect at all. ~ Brian Tracy, #NFDB
509:. . . it was these desperate inexperienced bitches, he thought, who never banded together but fought everyone and themselves and were like camels, they could go on for days without one sup of encouragement. Under their humps they had tanks of self-confidence so that they could cross any desert area of arid prickly pear without one compliment, or dewdrop as they called it in his family, to uphold them. ~ Henry Green, #NFDB
510:Emotional neglect, alone, causes children to abandon themselves, and to give up on the formation of a self. They do so to preserve an illusion of connection with the parent and to protect themselves from the danger of losing that tenuous connection. This typically requires a great deal of self-abdication, e.g., the forfeiture of self-esteem, self-confidence, self-care, self-interest, and self-protection. ~ Pete Walker, #NFDB
511:She laughed out loud, a warm, knowing laughter that made me once again wonder about the secret ingredient in these women’s lives. Whatever it was, I was clearly missing it. It was so much more than just self-confidence; it seemed to be the ability to love oneself, enthusiastically and unsparingly, body and soul, naturally followed by the assumption that every man on the planet is dying to get in on the act. ~ Anne Fortier, #NFDB
512:There it was: the tactless severity of vital male youth, not a single doubt about his coherence, blind with self-confidence and the virtue of knowing what matters most. The ruthless sense of necessity. The annihilating impulse in the face of an obstacle. Those grand grandstand days when you shrink from nothing and you're only right. Everything is a target; you're on the attack; and you, and you alone, are right. ~ Philip Roth, #NFDB
513:We take credit for our winners, while blaming our losers on others. If we buy an investment and it goes up, it was our brilliant choice. If it goes down, it’s the fault of our broker, or those clowns in Washington, or that idiot on television we listened to. This delusional reaction to winning and losing reduces the chances that we will learn from our mistakes, while further bolstering our self-confidence. ~ Jonathan Clements, #NFDB
514:Humans will believe anything you say provided you do not exhibit the smallest shadow of diffidence; like animals, they can detect the smallest crack in your confidence before you express it. The trick is to be as smooth as possible in personal manners. It is much easier to signal self-confidence if you are exceedingly polite and friendly; you can control people without having to offend their sensitivity. ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb, #NFDB
515:It has become a commonplace that aggressiveness also often has its roots in fear. I am inclined to think that this theory has been pushed too far. [...] The type of aggressiveness that is the outcome of timidity is not, I think, that which inspires great leaders; the great leaders, I should say, have an exceptional self-confidence which is not only on the surface, but penetrates deep into the subconscious. ~ Bertrand Russell, #NFDB
516:It’s in our interest to take care of others. Self-centrednes s is opposed to basic human nature. In our own interest as human beings we need to pay attention to our inner values. Sometimes people think compassion is only of help to others, while we get no benefit. This is a mistake. When you concern yourself with others, you naturally develop a sense of self-confidence . To help others takes courage and inner strength. ~ Dalai Lama, #NFDB
517:The person you love has all kinds of seeds in her: joy, suffering, and anger. If you water her anger, then in just five minutes you can bring the anger out in her. If you know how to water the seeds of her compassion, joy, and understanding, then these seeds will blossom. If you recognize the good seeds in her, you are watering her self-confidence and she will become the source of her own happiness as well as yours. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, #NFDB
518:have faith in God, have faith in man, have faith in yourself, have faith in everything; and have faith in faith. When you have confidence in yourself you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in yourself. In consequence, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish. But the power of self-confidence is but an atom in comparison with the marvelous power of faith. ~ Christian D Larson, #NFDB
519:We are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.…When we have been afraid that we may panic in an air-raid, and, when it has happened, we have exhibited to others nothing but a calm exterior and we are now safe, the contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
520:If you consulted your business experience instead of your ugly individualistic philosophy, you would know that believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter. Actors who can't act believe in themselves; and debtors who won't pay. It would be much truer to say that a man will certainly fail, because he believes in himself. Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
521:Arrogance is a killer, and wearing ambition on one's sleeve can have the same effect. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. Legitimate self-confidence is a winner. The true test of self-confidence is the courage to be open - to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source. Self-confident people aren't afraid to have their views challenged. They relish the intellectual combat that enriches ideas. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
522:Most important, do not ever think that you and God are separate. Think always, "God is with me; He is inside me; He is around me. All there is is God. I myself am God. I am the Infinite, the Eternal. I am not two; I am one, only one. There is no one else besides me. I and God are one and the same." To realize this Unity, the first step is to develop Self-confidence. It comes when you realize that God is not outside of you. ~ Sathya Sai Baba, #NFDB
523:You can't participate in agriculture or redesign of aircraft for making them safer if you know nothing about it. So, whenever a person says 'will I be participating in the new world?' Only in areas that you can participate it. Areas that you have competence in. I'm not talking about self confidence, I'm talking about the ability to solve problems. Electrical, chemical, technical. I don't know of any other kind of problem. ~ Jacque Fresco, #NFDB
524:The crucible is a dividing line, a turning point, and those who have gone through it feel they are very different from the way they were before. Believing that they have been transformed or have transformed themselves, those who survive the crucible (and many don't) are more confident, more willing to take future risks. That new self-confidence is grounded in the belief that he or she has done something hard and done it well. ~ Warren G Bennis, #NFDB
525:We are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.…When we have been afraid that we may panic in an air-raid, and, when it has happened, we have exhibited to others nothing but a calm exterior and we are now safe, the contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
526:When we experience expansive emotions of happiness, self-confidence, and success, we enjoy more life. And to the degree that we inhibit our abilities, frustrate our God-given talents, and allow ourselves to suffer anxiety, fear, self-condemnation, and self-hate, we literally choke off the life force available to us and turn our backs on the gift which our Creator has made. To the degree that we deny the gift of life, we embrace death. ~ Maxwell Maltz, #NFDB
527:If barking correlates with a juvenile and submissive condition, then it’s doubtful that dogs read our loud vocal displays as dominant or impressive. Rather, they might see them as a sign of fear or as a sign that we don’t have a lot of control. Many people to whom dogs are drawn are laconic and soft-spoken. I think their lack of “barking” is perceived as a sign of leadership, and dogs are drawn to their sense of self-confidence. ~ Patricia B McConnell, #NFDB
528:Individuals in crisis often receive help from friends, just as nations in crisis may recruit help from allied nations. Individuals in crisis may model their solutions on ways in which they see other individuals addressing similar crises; nations in crisis may borrow and adapt solutions already devised by other nations facing similar problems. Individuals in crisis may derive self-confidence from having survived previous crises; so do nations. ~ Jared Diamond, #NFDB
529:Writing was my religion, my foremost purpose in life, my consolation. But as the years passed and I didn’t have the successes that others deemed the qualifications of a “real” writer, I went into hiding. I wrote, but I lost the strength of my words. I wrote, but with a doubt that needled each sentence, a lack of self-confidence that clouded my imagination. My boldness evaporated. My verve started to become a distant memory. I lost my truth. ~ Francesca Lia Block, #NFDB
530:The real "haves" are they who can acquire freedom, self-confidence, and even riches without depriving others of them. They acquire all of these by developing and applying their potentialities. On the other hand, the real "have nots" are they who cannot have aught except by depriving others of it. They can feel free only by diminishing the freedom of others, self-confident by spreading fear and dependence among others, and rich by making others poor. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
531:I am often asked if leaders are born or made. The answer, of course, is both. Some characteristics, like IQ and energy, seem to come with the package. On the other hand, you learn some leadership skills, like self-confidence, at your mother's knee, and at school, in academics and sports. And you learn others at work-trying something, getting it wrong and learning from it, or getting it right and gaining the self-confidence to do it again, only better. ~ Jack Welch, #NFDB
532:Even fans of actively managed funds often concede that most other investors would be better off in index funds. But buoyed by abundant self-confidence, these folks aren't about to give up on actively managed funds themselves. A tad delusional? I think so. Picking the best-performing funds is 'like trying to predict the dice before you roll them down the craps table,' says an investment adviser in Boca Raton, FL. 'I can't do it. The public can't do it.' ~ Paul Samuelson, #NFDB
533:I think it all basically breaks down to something like this: You have to look and feel great first. If you eat well, exercise and get enough sleep, you will have ample energy and the proper self-confidence to create and produce beyond your wildest dreams! Looking great and radiating positive energy, while presenting your highest quality work, is what will always make you the most valuable and only logical choice in whatever it is that you reach for. ~ Jennifer Elisabeth, #NFDB
534:Art glows with faith even in its weakest parts. At every moment, writing is an act of self-confidence – the sheerest, most determined, most stubborn self-belief. You CAN have faith and doubt at the same time; the most insecure writer on the planet has faith that shines just as bright as her doubt, and she deserves props for that. It might be hidden deep, she might not feel it and you might not see it, but it’s in there, or she wouldn’t be able to write. ~ Kristin Cashore, #NFDB
535:First of all, try to have the highest of ethics and to be open and truthful about things, not hiding. If you have to hide something for company reasons, at least explain what you're doing. Don't mislead people. Know in your heart that you are a good person with good goals because that will carry over to your own self-confidence and your belief in your engineering abilities. Always seek excellence: make your product better than the average person would. ~ Jessica Livingston, #NFDB
536:Unfortunately children are not flowers. We misunderstood self-esteem and self-confidence. They do not come from liking yourself or being praised just for being. They are by-products of doing things well, developing an attitude of self-respect through recognizing your actual strengths and weaknesses, knowing how to be ordinary, and learning the rules and benefits of interdependence, including how to fit into a hierarchy as a beginner and how to learn from elders. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
537:The events of the last forty years have inflicted such a blow to the self confidence of Western civilization and to the belief in progress which was so strong during the nineteenth century, that men tend to go too far in the opposite direction: in fact the modern world is experiencing the same kind of danger which was so fatal to the ancient world--the crisis of which Gilbert Murray writes in his Four Stages of Greek Religion as "The Loss of Nerve. ~ Christopher Henry Dawson, #NFDB
538:We should be able to attend and respond to others, but focusing on them too much isn’t just counterproductive, it’s also destructive, undermining our self-confidence and interfering with our ability to notice what’s being exchanged in the moment. Even in the imagined power pose condition, people were able to fully inhabit the moment—noticing without judging their environment, feeling neither threatened by nor dominant over the strangers coming in and out of the room. ~ Amy Cuddy, #NFDB
539:Another thing I've observed is how critical the role of the CEO is when a technology truly is disruptive. In looking back on companies that have successfully launched independent disruptive business units, the CEO always had a foot in both camps. Never have they succeeded when they spin something off in order to get it off the CEO's agenda. The CEOs that did this had extraordinary personal self-confidence, and almost always they were the founders of the companies. ~ Clayton Christensen, #NFDB
540:A parent does not do everything for their kid. A parent that does everything for their kid produces a kid with no self-confidence. If our parents fixed everything for us and did not allow us to do anything on our own, or intervened every single time, we would all grow up to be completely dependent. The reason we grow up to be healthy adults is because our parents played this game of giving us responsibility, disciplining us when necessary, letting us try, letting us fail. ~ Simon Sinek, #NFDB
541:If we parents accept that problems are an essential part of life's challenges, rather than reacting to every problem as if something has gone wrong with the universe that's supposed to be perfect, we can demonstrate serenity and confidence in problem solving for our kids.By telling them that we know they have a problem and we know they can solve it, we can pass on a realistic attitude as well as empower our children with self-confidence and a sense of their own worth. ~ Barbara Coloroso, #NFDB
542:We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.…When we have been afraid that we may panic in an air-raid, and, when it has happened, we have exhibited to others nothing but a calm exterior and we are now safe, the contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
543:What would you call America's most priceless asset? Surely not its limitless natural resources, not its matchless national wealth, not its unequalled store of gold, not its giant factories, not its surpassing railroads, not its unprecedented volume of cheap power. Is not its most priceless asset the character of its people, their indomitable self-confidence, their transcendent vision, their sleepless initiative and, perhaps above all, their inherent, irrepressible optimism? ~ B C Forbes, #NFDB
544:The real gnostic does not attribute any "state" to himself, for he is without ambition and without ostentation; he has a tendency rather--through an "instinct for holding back"--to disguise his nature inasmuch as he has, in any case, awareness of "cosmic play" (lila) and it is hard for him to take secular and worldly persons seriously, that is to say, "horizontal" beings who are full of self-confidence and who remain, "humanists" that they are, below the vocation of man ~ Frithjof Schuon, #NFDB
545:Leading isn't about being perfect, but learning from mistake one made by you or others. It's showing by example and, if you do make a mistake, you own it and rise above it. You don't hang your head down, but lift it up and say, "Fuck. I guess I won't do that again!". The one thing you can't do is let it destroy your self-confidence . If you do, the mistake wins. If you rise above it and tuck the lesson in your bag of tricks, you win. -- Jack Walker (A New World: Conspiracy) ~ John O Brien, #NFDB
546:Here's to everyone who has survived something devastating-- something that shattered your self-confidence and distorted your world in one blow. Whether you were fierce in the face of it or fell to pieces or shoved it out of sight for years-- I don't care how you got here. Every day you are stronger. Every day you are healing. Every day that you survive, you are telling that event, that person, that illness, that memory: YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME. Keep on.
-- Acknowledgements ~ Tammara Webber,#NFDB
547:Narcissists typically make judgments with greater confidence than other people… and, because their judgments are rendered with such conviction, other people tend to believe them and the narcissists become disproportionately more influential in group situations. Finally, because of their self-confidence and strong need for recognition, narcissists tend to “self-nominate”; consequently, when a leadership gap appears in a group or organization, the narcissists rush to fill it. ~ Malcolm Gladwell, #NFDB
548:People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That’s a mistake. I know I sound like some dour older spinster on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man’s touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don’t understand how you could have self-confidence if you don’t do the work... I have never, ever, ever, met a high confident person and successful person who is not what a movie would call a 'workaholic.' Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. ~ Mindy Kaling, #NFDB
549:One of the most powerful concepts, one which is a sure cure for lack of confidence, is the thought that God is actually with you and helping you. This is one of the simplest teachings in religion, namely, that Almighty God will be your companion, will stand by you, help you, and see you through. No other idea is so powerful in developing self-confidence as this simple belief when practiced. To practice it simply affirm “God is with me; God is helping me; God is guiding me. ~ Norman Vincent Peale, #NFDB
550:When children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t learn to problem solve very well. They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety,” Able said. ~ Julie Lythcott Haims, #NFDB
551:What matters most in a child’s development, they say, is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us sometimes think of them as character. ~ Paul Tough, #NFDB
552:nutrient. When you give your child a big daily dose of “Vitamin P,” you: • thrill his senses • help him master movement • sharpen his thinking • encourage his language use • boost his people skills • teach him about the world • stimulate his immune system • build his self-confidence • improve his sleep Do you see why play is such a brilliant way to feed your child’s meter? Happy, healthy toddlers have their days filled with chasing, pretending, rolling, and tinkering. ~ Harvey Karp, #NFDB
553:Even worse than losing self-confidence, though, is reacting defensively. There are surgeons who will see faults everywhere except in themselves. They have no questions and no fears about their abilities. As a result, they learn nothing from their mistakes and know nothing of their limitations. As one surgeon told me, it is a rare but alarming thing to meet a surgeon without fear. “If you’re not a little afraid when you operate,” he said, “you’re bound to do a patient a grave disservice. ~ Atul Gawande, #NFDB
554:am confident and extremely grateful to be surrounded by what I love, by things and people that are, each and every one, special, precious, and exceedingly dear to me. The things and people that bring me joy support me. They give me the confidence that I will be all right. I want to help others who feel the way I once did, who lack self-confidence and find it hard to open their hearts to others, to see how much support they receive from the space they live in and the things that surround them. ~ Marie Kond, #NFDB
555:Embracing their inner reader starts with students selecting their own books to read. The freedom is not a future, perhaps-by-spring goal for them, but our first accomplishment as a class. Why does choice matter? Providing students with the opportunity to choose strengthens their self-confidence, rewards their interests, and promotes a positive attitude toward reading by valuing the reader and giving him or her a level of control. Readers without power to make their own choices are unmotivated. ~ Donalyn Miller, #NFDB
556:Self-respect is not the same as self-confidence or self-esteem. Self-respect is not based on IQ or any of the mental or physical gifts that help get you into a competitive college. It is not comparative. It is not earned by being better than other people at something. It is earned by being better than you used to be, by being dependable in times of testing, straight in times of temptation. It emerges in one who is morally dependable. Self-respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones. ~ David Brooks, #NFDB
557:What happens when we do this time after time? What’s the net result of repeated failure to make and keep commitments to ourselves? It hacks away at our self-confidence. Not only do we lose trust in our ability to make and keep commitments, we fail to project the personal strength of character that inspires trust. We may try to borrow strength from position or association. But it’s not real. It’s not ours . . . and people know it. And whether we realize it or not, that impacts the bottom line. ~ Stephen M R Covey, #NFDB
558:Narcissists like watching themselves on videotape, and report gaining self-confidence from gazing at their reflection in a mirror. The Narcissistic Personality Inventory contains items such as “I like to look at myself in the mirror,” “I get upset when people don’t notice how I look when I go out in public,” and “I like to show off my body.” Vanity seems harmless and often is, but vanity often occurs with self-centeredness, which causes so many of the negative behaviors associated with narcissism. ~ Jean M Twenge, #NFDB
559:Blomkvist had indeed had many brief relationships. He knew he was reasonably good-looking, but he had never considered himself exceptionally attractive. But he had often been told that he had something that made women interested in him . . .that he radiated self-confidence and security at the same time, that he had the ability to make women feel at ease. Going to bed with him was not threatening or complicated, but it might be erotically enjoyable. And that, according to Blomkvist, was as it should be. ~ Steig Larsson, #NFDB
560:Blomkvist had indeed had many brief relationships. He knew he was reasonably good-looking, but he had never considered himself exceptionally attractive. But he had often been told that he had something that made women interested in him . . .that he radiated self-confidence and security at the same time, that he had the ability to make women feel at ease. Going to bed with him was not threatening or complicated, but it might be erotically enjoyable. And that, according to Blomkvist, was as it should be. ~ Stieg Larsson, #NFDB
561:The secret is contained in a three-part formula I learned in the gym: self confidence, a positive mental attitude, and honest hard work. Many people are aware of these principles, but very few can put them into practice. Every day I hear someone say, 'I'm to fat. I need to lose twenty-five pounds, but I can't. I never seem to improve.' I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak. I can lose ten to forty pounds rapidly, easily, painlessly, by simply setting my mind to it. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger, #NFDB
562:Having serious consequences to your decision-making process is something you have to be very comfortable with. It's something you learn and you practise over time, so I encourage people to find some way to challenge themselves. The other thing I share with people, which I've learned over time, is self-confidence. You have to get very comfortable with saying, "Well, every day, I'm just going to give my best. I have skill sets I've learned, I'm going to employ them, and my best is going to be good enough". ~ Jeremy Hansen, #NFDB
563:Whilst a man is persuaded that he has it in his power to contribute anything, be it ever so little, to his salvation, he remains in carnal self-confidence; he is not a self-despairer, and therefore is not duly humbled before God, he believes he may lend a helping hand in his salvation, but on the contrary, whoever is truly convinced that the whole work depends singly on the will of God, such a person renounces his own will and strength; he waits and prays for the operation of God, nor waits and prays in vain ~ Martin Luther, #NFDB
564:I’m sure that this is equally true of men in the business world or any world. We all need someone with inner authority who can let us know we are OK, that what we are going through is normal, and what battles are worth fighting. Sometimes we just need to hear from someone who believes in us, but who believes in us enough also to challenge us. Strangely, in their presence, the assurance and self-confidence are there, almost by magic, and almost embarrassingly so. It is humbling and wonderful to be a spiritual son. ~ Richard Rohr, #NFDB
565:Unprepared for the complexities of governing, with little executive experience and a glaring deficit in his attention span, untutored, untraveled, and unversed in the ways of the world, Bush thrived on making a show of his decisiveness. “I’m not afraid to make decisions,” he told a biographer. “Matter of fact, I like this aspect of the presidency.”3 But his greatest strength became his worst flaw. His self-confidence and decisiveness caused him to do far more damage than a less assertive president would have. ~ Jean Edward Smith, #NFDB
566:We acquire a sense of worth either by realizing our talents, or by keeping busy, or by identifying ourselves with something apart from us--be it a cause, a leader, a group, possessions and the like. Of the three, the path of self-realization is the most difficult. It is taken only when other avenues to a sense of worth are more or less blocked. Men of talent have to be encouraged and goaded to engage in creative work. Their groans and laments echo through the ages. Action is a highroad to self-confidence and esteem. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
567:The editors of The Boston Globe wrote that there really was a “new Nixon.” “Gone is the lack of self-confidence, gone the scarcely concealed conviction that he was just a political accident who really did not belong in the Big Time, gone the almost self-evident apprehension that he would be found out sooner or later as an upstart tyro….What Mr. Nixon has done and done superbly is to list the problems confronting the nation. His testing period will come when (and if) he spells out what he proposes to do about them. ~ Geoffrey C Ward, #NFDB
568: If someone is counting on children to bring them peace of mind, self-confidence, or a steady sense of happiness, they are in for a bad shock. What children do is complicate, implicate, give plot lines to the story, color to the picture, darken everything, bring fear as never before, suggest the holy, explain the ferocity of the human mind, undo or redo some of the past while casting shadows into the future. There is no boredom with children in the home. The risks are high. The voltage crackling. —Anne Roiphe, Married ~ Esther Perel, #NFDB
569:Does everyone feel this way? When I was young, I was perpetually overconfident or insecure. Either I felt completely useless, unattractive, and worthless, or that I was pretty much a success, and everything I did was bound to succeed. When I was confident, I could overcome the hardest challenges. But all it took was the smallest setback for me to be sure that I was utterly worthless. Regaining my self-confidence had nothing to do with success...whether I experienced it as a failure or triumph was utterly dependent on my mood. ~ Bernhard Schlink, #NFDB
570:It all goes back to the red string of my imaginary kite—if you believe something, other people will believe it, too. You can’t convince someone else—whether it’s a potential employer, a loan officer at the car dealership, or someone you’ve been crushing on—that you’re amazing and terrific if you don’t actually think you are. This isn't the false confidence that comes from getting a bunch of "likes" on your Instagram selfies, but a deep-down, unshakeable self-confidence that persists even when things aren't going all that great. ~ Sophia Amoruso, #NFDB
571:I might have been just half an Asian, but in America it was all or nothing when it came to race. You were either white or you weren’t. Funnily enough, I had never felt inferior because of my race during my foreign student days. I was foreign by definition and therefore was treated as a guest. But now, even though I was a card-carrying American with a driver’s license, Social Security card, and resident alien permit, Violet still considered me as foreign, and this misrecognition punctured the smooth skin of my self-confidence. ~ Viet Thanh Nguyen, #NFDB
572:Every time we choose action over ease or labor over rest, we develop an increasing level of self-worth, self-respect and self-confidence. In the final analysis, it is how we feel about ourselves that provides the greatest reward from any activity. It is not what we get that makes us valuable, it is what we become in the process of doing that brings value into our lives. It is activity that converts human dreams into human reality, and that conversion from idea into actuality gives us a personal value that can come from no other source. ~ Jim Rohn, #NFDB
573:We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. ~ William Duncan Silkworth, #NFDB
574:I knew Chaz was a good guy, if misguided and gullible. He’d swallowed Buck’s side of what happened between us, had argued with Erin that maybe I was drunk that night and didn’t remember everything clearly. He was probably one of those boys to whom rapists were ugly men who jumped out of bushes, assaulting random girls. Rapists weren’t your nice-guy coworker, or your frat brother, or your best friend. Maybe it never occurred to him that his best friend was capable of ripping a girl’s self-confidence away in the span of five minutes. ~ Tammara Webber, #NFDB
575:For me, it's not important whether [subjects] are naked, half-naked, or dressed. What I'm more interested in is how they present themselves: if someone is half-naked and having self-confidence or you have the feeling that she has or he has control of the situation. She likes to do it. Then I have nothing against it. But it's true that society doesn't talk about such issues. They just talk about whether there is a breast or not, but for me it's more interesting how the power game of camera and object is shown. And if it's a cool picture. ~ Pipilotti Rist, #NFDB
576:Self-confidence is inseparable from submission to the creedal order, and through that order, to the supreme authority expressed in that order. ... Deep individualism cannot exist except in relation to the highest authority. No inner discipline can operate without a charismatic institution, nor can such an institution survive without that supreme authority from a relation to whom self-confidence derives. Without an authority deeply installed, there is no foundation for individuality. Self-confidence thus expresses submission to supreme authority. ~ Philip Rieff, #NFDB
577:10 SUGGESTIONS FOR LIVING A MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE
1. Be honest with everyone.
2. Change before you have to.
3. Control your own destiny or someone else will.
4. Face reality as it is, not as it was... or as you wish it to be.
5. Instill in others- faith, hope and self-confidence.
6. If you can't develop a competitive attitude or have a competitive advantage, don't try to compete. You'll lose.
7. Don't waste your time always looking for shortcuts.
8. Man-up when necessary.
9. Never lose faith in God.
10. Love. ~ Jos N Harris,#NFDB
578:Obituaries are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives. I defy you to find a single obituary that begins, "Jane Doe won the Nobel Prize in large part because she was admitted to a prestigious, highly selective preschool. After that, everything just kind of fell into place." Instead, you will read about dead ends, lucky coincidences, quirky habits, excessive self-confidence (often interspersed with bursts of excessive self-doubt), and a lot of passion for something. ~ Charles Wheelan, #NFDB
579:She was remarkably beautiful. And yet there was something in her eyes that I didn't like. A bit of...no...I don't want to say falsity...that would be too...it was--I don't know how to explain it -- it was something like triumphant cunning. Odile needed to dominate. She wanted to impose her will, her version of the truth. Her beauty had given her a lot of self-confidence and she believed, almost in good faith, that if she said something then it became true. This worked with your husband, who adored her, but not with me, and she resented me for that. ~ Andr Maurois, #NFDB
580:Poverty when coupled with creativeness is usually free of frustration. This is true of the poor artisan skilled in his trade and of the poor writer, artist, and scientist in the full possession of creative powers. Nothing so bolsters our self-confidence and reconciles us with ourselves as the continuous ability to create; to see things grow and develop under our hand, day in, day out. The decline of handicrafts in modern times is perhaps one of the causes for the rise of frustration and the increased susceptibility of the individual to mass movements. ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
581:By marrying to soon, many individuals sacrifice their chance to struggle through this purgatory of solitude and search toward a greater sense of self-confidence. They glance at the world outside the family and with hardly a second thought grasp anxiously for a partner. In marriage they seek a substitute for the security of the family of origin and an escape from aloneness. What they do not realize is that moving so quickly from one family to another, they make it easy to transfer to the new marriage all their difficult experiences in the family of origin. ~ Augustus, #NFDB
582:Empowered Women 101: If he can't tell other women that he is happily married and acts in a way that suggests he isn't fully committed then he isn't happy. He is keeping his foot in the door for a better opportunity should it not work out with you. Real women don't need to investigate. They invest in their self confidence and worth by not allowing their man to disrespect them. They are not afraid to ask themselves the tough questions: Why am I letting this man humiliate me and value me less than others? Why have I allowed myself to become a doormat? ~ Shannon L Alder, #NFDB
583:Poverty when coupled with creativeness is usually free of frustration. This is true of the poor artisan skilled in his trade and of the poor writer, artist and scientist in the full possession of creative powers. Nothing so bolsters our self-confidence and reconciles us with ourselves as the continuous ability to create; to see things grow and develop under our hand, day in, day out. The decline of handicrafts in modern times is perhaps one of the causes for the rise of frustration and the increased susceptibility of the individual to mass movements. It ~ Eric Hoffer, #NFDB
584:Yes, Melanie had been there that day with a sword in her small hand, ready to do battle for her. And now, as Scarlett looked sadly back, she realized that Melanie had always been there beside her with a sword in her hand, unobtrusive as her own shadow, loving her, fighting for her with blind passionate loyalty, fighting Yankees, fire, hunger, poverty, public opinion and even her beloved blood kin. Scarlett felt her courage and self-confidence ooze from her as she realized that the sword which had flashed between her and the world was sheathed forever. ~ Margaret Mitchell, #NFDB
585:Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long are you young. When your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old. And then, indeed as the ballad says, you just fade away ~ Douglas MacArthur, #NFDB
586:Before a Parisienne in lace, in the salon of some illustrious physician, a person of importance with medals and a carriage, the poor clerk, no doubt, would have trembled like a child; but here in Rouen, by the quay, with the wife of this small country practitioner, he felt at ease, certain in advance that he would dazzle her. Self-confidence depends upon surroundings: one does not speak the same way in a grand apartment as in a garret, and a rich woman seems to have all her banknotes about her, guarding her virtue, like a cuirass, in the lining of her corset. ~ Gustave Flaubert, #NFDB
587:It perplexed me how sex with other men seemed natural to me but not the small physical gestures of affection and concern. What I remembered most clearly from my first sex with another man was the unexpected tenderness. It disturbed me—disoriented me, I guess. I had expected homosexuality to be dark and furtive, but it wasn’t. It was shattering but liberating to come out and it ended a lot of doubts that had been eroding my self-confidence. I remember thinking, back then, so this is it, one of the worst things I can imagine happening has happened. And life goes on. ~ Michael Nava, #NFDB
588:Jules has always been one of those women that men go crazy about because she has enough self-confidence to say this is me, take it or leave it. And, invariably, they take it. Or at least try to. They love the fact that she doesn’t wear makeup. That her clothes, on her tiny, petite frame, are a mishmash of whatever she happens to pull out of the wardrobe that morning. That her laugh is huge and infectious, and, most of all, that she listens. She loves life, and people, and makes time for them, and even before Jamie came along men were forever falling in love with her. ~ Jane Green, #NFDB
589:One of the most powerful concepts, one which is a sure cure for lack of confidence, is the thought that God is with you and helping you. This is one of the simplest teachings in religion, namely, that Almighty God will be your companion, will stand by you, help you, and see you through. No other idea is so powerful in developing self-confidence as this simple belief when practiced. To practice it simply affirm "God is with me; God is helping me; God is guiding me." Spend several minutes each day visualizing his presence. Then practice believing that affirmation. ~ Norman Vincent Peale, #NFDB
590:Historical consciousness therefore leaves you, as does maturity itself, with a simultaneous sense of your own significance and insignificance. Like Friedrich's wanderer, you dominate a landscape even as you're diminished by it. You're suspended between sensibilities that are at odds with one another, but it's precisely within that suspension that your own identity--whether as a person or a historian--tends to reside. Self-doubt must always precede self-confidence. It should never, however, cease to accompany, challenge, and by these means discipline self-confidence. ~ John Lewis Gaddis, #NFDB
591:I hurt your feelings before. But then, I don’t think you were lacking in self-confidence. You must know that you’re beautiful. Your hair is so golden and you have the bearing of a young Venus. Kristen, it isn’t you. It’s me. I haven’t got any emotion left. I haven’t got what you need, what you want. Damn it, don’t you understand? I want you. I’m made out of flesh and blood and whatever else it is that God puts into men. I want you. Now. Hell, I could have wanted you right after I ripped another man away from you. I’m no better than he is, not really. Don’t you understand? ~ Heather Graham, #NFDB
592:The fatuous idea that a person can be holy by himself denies God the pleasure of saving sinners. God must therefore first take the sledge-hammer of the Law in His fists and smash the beast of self-righteousness and its brood of self-confidence, self wisdom, and self-help. When the conscience has been thoroughly frightened by the Law it welcomes the Gospel of grace with its message of a Savior Who came-not to break the bruised reed nor to quench the smoking flax-but to preach glad tidings to the poor, to heal the broken-hearted, and to grant forgiveness of sins to all the captives. ~ Martin Luther, #NFDB
593:Place no hope in the feeling of assurance, in spiritual comfort. You may well have to get along without this. Place no hope in the inspirational preachers of Christian sunshine, who are able to pick you up and set you back on your feet and make you feel good for three or four days-until you fold up and collapse into despair. Self-confidence is a precious natural gift, a sign of health. But it is not the same thing as faith. Faith is much deeper, and it must be deep enough to subsist when we are weak, when we are sick, when our self-confidence is gone, when our self-respect is gone. ~ Thomas Merton, #NFDB
594:Lack of self-confidence is, more often than not, simple laziness. We feel confused and uncertain because we do not know. But instead of making the effort to investigate, we procrastinate and worry. We tell ourselves we can't instead of learning how we can. If we used the mental energy we expend in worry and fear to get out and find out about what we do not know, we would see our self-confidence grow. Lack of self-confidence is not overcome by faith, but by action. It is a lack, not of certainty, but of effort. Too often we are certain that we can't before we give ourselves a fair chance. ~ Laurence Boldt, #NFDB
595:As for self-esteem, is this really the product of ethnic role models and fantasies of a glorious past? or does it not result from the belief in oneself that springs from achievement, from personal rather than from racial pride? Cohesive Asian-American and Jewish-American families instill in their children a sense of self-respect and a determination to work hard. For historical reasons, black families are often less cohesive, and in consequence many black kids often move into a mistrustful world with low self-worth and little self-confidence. Hearing about Africa won't change that. ~ Arthur M Schlesinger Jr, #NFDB
596:No other idea is so powerful in developing self-confidence as this simple belief when practiced. To practice it simply affirm “God is with me; God is helping me; God is guiding me.” Spend several minutes each day visualizing His presence. Then practice believing that affirmation. Go about your business on the assumption that what you have affirmed and visualized is true. Affirm it, visualize it, believe it, and it will actualize itself. The release of power which this procedure stimulates will astonish you. Feelings of confidence depend upon the type of thoughts that habitually occupy your mind. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
597:Your younger nerd takes offense quickly when someone near him begins to utter declarative sentences, because he reads into it an assertion that he, the nerd, does not already know the information being imparted. But your older nerd has more self-confidence, and besides, understands that frequently people need to think out loud. And highly advanced nerds will furthermore understand that uttering declarative sentences whose contents are already known to all present is part of the social process of making conversation and therefore should not be construed as aggression under any circumstances. ~ Neal Stephenson, #NFDB
598:It is not realistic or hard-headed to solve problems and take action unguided by ultimate moral aims and values, although we all know some who claim that it is so. In my judgement, it is thoughtless folly. For it ignores the realities of human faith and of passion and of belief; forces ultimately more powerful than all the calculations of our economists or of our generals. Of course to adhere to standards, to idealism, to vision in the face of immediate dangers takes great courage and takes self-confidence. But we also know that only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly. ~ Robert Kennedy, #NFDB
599:If you hate yourself, you will hate others. If you love yourself, you will love others. If you are hard on yourself, you will be hard on others. If you are compassionate with yourself, you will be compassionate with others. Love, respect, unconditionally accept, and encourage yourself to the greatest of your abilities. Either love who you are and where you are—relishing this moment—or love where you are going and who you will become, delighting in your path. Allow nothing to interfere with your sacred relationship with yourself and strive to maintain an unshakeable sense of self-confidence. ~ Russell Anthony Gibbs, #NFDB
600:Armed with nuclear weapons, Pakistan does not need to live in fear or insecurity. The state of insecurity fostered in Pakistan is psychological and should now be replaced with a logical self-confidence. Once pluralism and secularism are no longer dirty words, and all national discussions need not be framed within the confines of an Islamist ideology, it will become easier for Pakistan to tackle the jihadi menace. The state would have to end support for any militant jihadi group based on false strategic premises. Jihadi terrorism is now a threat to Pakistan and must be eliminated for Pakistan’s sake. ~ Husain Haqqani, #NFDB
601:Madonna has no equal at getting attention. She often seems to behave like someone who has been under severe restraint and can now say and do whatever she likes without fear of reprisal. She delights in being challenged, in telling more than she planned, in going further than she had intended. She will answer any question because she is genuinely interested in her own reply. A conversation or an interview then can become an opportunity for self-discovery, or just discovery. It's a hearty mix of self-consciousness and self-confidence. It's a type of courage, this free fall into the perplexing public now. ~ Carrie Fisher, #NFDB
602:That drunken poet from whom you would not take a dreary tragedy, he believed in himself. That elderly minister with an epic from whom you were hiding in a back room, he believed in himself. If you consulted your business experience instead of your ugly individualistic philosophy, you would know that believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter. Actors who can't act believe in themselves; and debtors who won't pay. It would be much truer to say that a man will certainly fail because he believes in himself. Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
603:According to carnal judgment, man seems to know himself very well, when, confident in his understanding and uprightness, he becomes bold and urges himself to the duties of virtue and, declaring war on vices, endeavors to exert himself with all his ardor toward the excellent and the honorable. But he who scrutinizes and examines himself according to the standard of divine judgment finds nothing to lift his heart to self-confidence. And the more deeply he examines himself, the more dejected he becomes, until, utterly deprived of all such assurance, he leaves nothing to himself with which to direct his life aright. ~ John Calvin, #NFDB
604:The attacks of 9/11 were the biggest surprise in American history, and for the past ten years we haven't stopped being surprised. The war on terror has had no discernible trajectory, and, unlike other military conflicts, it's almost impossible to define victory. You can't document the war's progress on a world map or chart it on a historical timetable in a way that makes any sense. A country used to a feeling of being in command and control has been whipsawed into a state of perpetual reaction, swinging wildly between passive fear and fevered, often thoughtless, activity, at a high cost to its self-confidence. ~ George Packer, #NFDB
605:There is only one security, and when you’ve lost that security, you’ve lost everything you’ve got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself And when you lose that confidence, you’ve lost the only security you can have.... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One’s belief in one’s ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he’s got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn’t got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that’s the only security there is. ~ Dale Carnegie, #NFDB
606:Thus, the self-confidence, the "feeling of self," is merely an indication of what others think of the person. It is not he who is convinced of his value regardless of popularity and his success on the market. If he is sought after, he is somebody; if he is not popular, he is simply nobody. This dependence of self-esteem on the success of the "personality" is the reason why for modern man popularity has this tremendous importance. On it depends not only whether or not one goes ahead in practical matters, but also whether one can keep up one's self-esteem or whether one falls into the abyss of inferiority feelings. ~ Erich Fromm, #NFDB
607:Every conquest in our work, in our lives, adds to our strength, gives us new power, because it gives additional self-confidence. It stimulates us to do the next hardest thing which without the tonic of preceding conquests seemed impossible. The tonic of advancement is not only a stimulant, but also a marvelous producer. By the law of mental magnetism one success attracts another, and after we begin to win it is comparatively easy to keep on winning. The consciousness of progress, of getting on in the world stimulates the whole nature, turns drudgery into delight and makes the faculties give out their best. ~ Orison Swett Marden, #NFDB
608:She clung to the game the way a person clings to a post when a storm threatens to blow him away. And though she had never realized it before, Aomame was a born athlete. She became a central member of both her middle and high school teams and helped them breeze through one tournament after another. This gave her something very close to self-confidence (but only close: it was not, strictly speaking, self-confidence). Her greatest joy in life was knowing that her importance to the team was by no means small and that, as narrow as that world might be, she had been granted a definite place in it. Someone needed her. ~ Haruki Murakami, #NFDB
609:I see a bird carrying me and carrying you, with us as its wings, beyond the dream, to a journey that has no end and no beginning, no purpose and no goal. I do not speak to you, and you do not speak to me; we listen only to the music of silence. Silence is the friend's trust of friend, imagination's self-confidence between rain and rainbow.
A rainbow is inspiration provoking the poet, uninvited, the infatuation of the poet with the prose of the Quran.
Which of your Lord's blessings do you disown?
We are absent, you and I; we are present, you and I.
And absent.
Which of your Lord's blessings do you disown? ~ Mahmoud Darwish,#NFDB
610:What, however, makes culture and ideology attractive? They become attractive when they are seen as rooted in material success and influence. Soft power is power only when it rests on a foundation of hard power. Increases in hard economic and military power produce enhanced self-confidence, arrogance, and belief in the superiority of one’s own culture or soft power compared to those of other peoples and greatly increase its attractiveness to other peoples. Decreases in economic and military power lead to self-doubt, crises of identity, and efforts to find in other cultures the keys to economic, military, and political success. ~ Samuel P Huntington, #NFDB
611:Singe stopped. “You are quite right about Medford Shale, Garrett.” Great-uncle Medford had figured prominently in the case where I’d first made Singe’s acquaintance. “Just as you were right about me needing no distractions if I am to follow this trail. Perhaps I can have Doris knock you out, then have Marsha knock Doris out, then pray that a building collapses on Marsha.” “Or we could all take a hint and save the chatter till later.” “You could do that. But I am willing to bet that none of you are able.” Was it Mama Garrett’s boy who’d said that this ratgirl desperately needed some self-confidence? She sure didn’t lack for it in this crowd. ~ Glen Cook, #NFDB
612:Some of the tensions of teenage life can be eased if the family provides a sense of acceptance, control, and self-confidence to the adolescent. A relationship that has these dimensions is one in which people trust one another, and feel totally accepted. One does not have to worry constantly about being liked, being popular, or living up to others’ expectations. As the popular sayings go, “Love means never having to say ‘I’m sorry,’” “Home is where you’re always welcome.” Being assured of one’s worth in the eyes of one’s kin gives a person the strength to take chances; excessive conformity is usually caused by fear of disapproval. ~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, #NFDB
613:I tell you, life is extraordinary. A few years ago I couldn’t write anything or sell anything, I’d passed the age where you know all the returns are in, I’d had my chance and done my best and failed. And how was I to know the miracle waiting to happen round the corner in late middle age? 84, Charing Cross Road was no best seller, you understand; it didn’t make me rich or famous. It just got me hundreds of letters and phone calls from people I never knew existed; it got me wonderful reviews; it restored a self-confidence and self-esteem I’d lost somewhere along the way, God knows how many years ago. It brought me to England. It changed my life. ~ Helene Hanff, #NFDB
614:But the problems of perpetuating a hierarchical society go deeper than this. There are only four ways in which a ruling group can fall from power. Either it is conquered from without, or it governs so inefficiently that the masses are stirred to revolt, or it allows a strong and discontented Middle group to come into being, or it loses its own self-confidence and willingness to govern. These causes do not operate singly, and as a rule all four of them are present in some degree. A ruling class which could guard against all of them would remain in power permanently. Ultimately the determining factor is the mental attitude of the ruling class itself. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
615:It would be much truer to say that a man will certainly fail, because he believes in himself. Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. Believing utterly in one’s self is a hysterical and superstitious belief like believing in Joanna Southcote: the man who has it has ‘Hanwell’ written on his face as plain as it is written on that omnibus.” And to all this my friend the publisher made this very deep and effective reply, “Well, if a man is not to believe in himself, in what is he to believe?” After a long pause I replied, “I will go home and write a book in answer to that question.” This is the book that ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
616:We are moulded also by the thoughts of others; by what we hear in our social life, what we read in newspapers, magazines, and books, what we hear in the movies, the theatre, and on the radio; even by chance remarks from the conversation of bystanders --and these thoughts bombard us constantly. Some of them that accord with our own inmost thoughts and also open the way to greater visions in our life are helpful. But often there are thoughts that are upsetting, that weaken our self-confidence, and turn us away from our high purposes. It is these outside thoughts that are the trouble makers, and later I shall point out how you can keep free of them. ~ Claude M Bristol, #NFDB
617:p. 274 ...his trademark decision to surrender power as commander in chief and then president, was not...a sign that he had conquered his ambitions, but rather that he fully realized that all ambitions were inherently insatiable and unconquerable. He knew himself well enough to resist the illusion that he transcended human nature. Unlike Julius Caesar and Oliver Cromwell before him, and Napoleon, Lenin, and Mao after him, he understood that the greater glory resided in posterity's judgment. If you aspire to live forever in the memory of future generations, you must demonstrate the ultimate self-confidence to leave the final judgment to them. And he did. ~ Joseph J Ellis, #NFDB
618:AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE ♦ I am safe and secure. ♦ I trust my intuition to guide me. ♦ I have enough time, money, and intelligence to accomplish my goals. ♦ I know that I am guided toward good today. ♦ I deserve all that is good. ♦ When I win, others win as well. ♦ I always find time to fulfill my dreams. ♦ I am blessed in many ways. ♦ Other people like and respect me. ♦ My efforts are always supported and encouraged. ♦ God always takes care of my every human need. ♦ I am devoted to teaching the world about love. ♦ I take advantage of spare moments in the day, and my small efforts add up to large accomplishments. ♦ My body obeys my every command. ~ Doreen Virtue, #NFDB
619:Grit isn’t something you’re born with, Carter says. It’s something you can learn and exercise, like a muscle. If you’re a parent, you can teach grit. How? Let your children struggle. A little challenge, a little anguish, even, is good for them. When children learn to resolve their own conflicts, without Mom or Dad swooping in to the rescue, they build grit, self-confidence, and the creative problem-solving skills that lead to higher academic achievement.14 Teach them to try new things, she says, to take risks, follow inklings, see if they turn into passions, work hard, maybe master something, maybe make mistakes, but love the journey itself, not the reward. ~ Brigid Schulte, #NFDB
620:There are four things a person needs for success: a medium amount of intelligence, a bit of imagination, self-confidence and failure.
For once you taste failure, you have no fear. You can take risks more easily. Then You don't want to snuggle in your comfort zone anymore-you are ready to fly. And Success is about flying, not snuggling, God said.
God sighed before speaking again. I think you need to understand how my system works. You see I have a contract with all human beings. you do your best, and every now and then, I will come behind to give you a bonus push. But it has to begin with you, For otherwise I can't distinguish who needs my help most ~ Chetan Bhagat,#NFDB
621:You’d have to be crazy to want this job. I don’t mean to be casual about that; I mean that the desire to be the president is a currently undiagnosed but very specific form of insanity. Only a person with an unfathomably huge ego and an off-the-charts level of blind self-confidence and an insatiable hunger for control could look at America, in all of her enormity, with all of her complexity, with all of her beauty and flaws and strength and power, and say, “Yeah. I should be in charge of that.” Only a lunatic would look at a job where you get slandered and scrutinized and attacked by the media and sometimes even assassinated and say, “Sign me up!” Only a lunatic. ~ Daniel O Brien, #NFDB
622:Tumbling over one another, these new realities produced nervous responses. Stratagems of defense, partly unconscious, included regression from liberal open-mindedness, nostalgia for an idyllic past when the poor had doffed their caps to their better, fearful clinging to strict rules of conduct, and psychological denials that were derisively, and unhelpfully, called hypocrisy. [...] Still, if alarm had been unanimous, the calls for a return to the old days would have been irresistible. The truth is that the agents of anxiety — those overpowering forces for change in politics, economics, science, morals, and social policy — were at the same time agents of self confidence. ~ Peter Gay, #NFDB
623:The obstacles that we may face include having expectations, lack of self-confidence, indifference, and unwholesome distractions and activities. If we keep entertaining these negative acts and not believing in ourselves, thinking, "I'm not doing the practice well enough," "I'm not capable," "Everything is fated, so why should I try?"-at best, these acts and thoughts will divert us from our goal and slow down our spiritual progress. At worst, indulging in distractions, unwholesome activities, and negative attitudes will drag us on the wrong track and slowly lead us into the worst possible way of living, destroying all the possible fruits that this amazing human life could bring us.~ Tulku Thondup, #NFDB
624:the seriousness of emotional deprivation:
It is not difficult to understand how children who have suffered from malnutrition or starvation need food and plenty of care in their bodies are to recover so they can go on to lead normal lives. If, however, the starvation is severe enough, the damage will be permanent and they will suffer physical impairments for the rest of their lives. Likewise, children who are deprived of emotional nurturing require care and love if their sense of security and self-confidence is to be restored. However, if love is minimal and abuse high, the damage will be permanent and the children will suffer emotional impairments for the rest of their lives. ~ Mark Z Danielewski,#NFDB
625:How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: 'What is my poverty?' Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. That’s the place where God wants to dwell! 'How blessed are the poor,' Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.
We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let’s dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden. ~ Henri J M Nouwen,#NFDB
626:Chester nods all the way through this, but does not rudely interrupt Randy as a younger nerd would. Your younger nerd takes offense quickly when someone near him begins to utter declarative sentences, because he reads into it an ssertion that he, the nerd, does not already know the information being imparted. But your older nerd has more
self-confidence, and besides, understands that frequently people need to think out loud. And highly advanced nerds will furthermore understand that uttering declarative sentences whose contents are already known to all present is part of the social process of making conversation and therefore should not be construed as aggression under any circumstances. ~ Neal Stephenson,#NFDB
627:Choosing a religion, says philosopher Ernest Gellner, has become akin to choosing a wallpaper pattern or menu item—an area of life where it is considered acceptable to act on purely personal taste or feelings. Most people do not look to spirituality for an explanatory system to answer the cosmic questions of life. Instead they choose their spirituality based on what meets their emotional needs and helps them cope with personal issues, from losing weight to gaining self-confidence. But, when “serious issues are at stake” like making money or meeting medical needs, Gellner says, then people want solutions based on “real knowledge.”7 They want to know the tested outcomes of objective science and research. ~ Nancy R Pearcey, #NFDB
628:What rendered it all acceptable was that government won the war, in astonishingly short order. Had the war dragged on or ended badly, the trust reposed in government might have been withdrawn. But the greatest conflict in human history was brought to a victorious conclusion for the United States only three and a half years after American entry. America’s unprecedentedly large government defeated fascism; America’s big government placed the United States at the pinnacle of world power. In the process, big government restored the nation’s economic vitality and self-confidence. By 1945 most Americans found big government thoroughly acceptable, even necessary, and they had ample reason for feeling the way they did. ~ H W Brands, #NFDB
629:The causes of this mournful state of things are manifold. It may arise through a comparative neglect of prayer, for a neglected closet is the beginning of all spiritual decline. Or it may be the result of idolatry. The heart has been occupied with something else, more than with God; the affections have been set on the things of earth, instead of the things of heaven. A jealous God will not be content with a divided heart; he must be loved first and best. He will withdraw the sunshine of his presence from a cold, wandering heart. Or the cause may be found in self-confidence and self-righteousness. Pride is busy in the heart, and self is exalted instead of lying low at the foot of the cross. ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon, #NFDB
630:And yet some people actually imagine that the revelation in God’s Word is not enough to meet our needs. They think that God from time to time carries on an actual conversation with them, chatting with them, satisfying their doubts, testifying to His love for them, promising them support and blessings. As a result, their emotions soar; they are full of bubbling joy that is mixed with self-confidence and a high opinion of themselves. The foundation for these feelings, however, does not lie within the Bible itself, but instead rests on the sudden creations of their imaginations. These people are clearly deluded. God’s Word is for all of us and each of us; He does not need to give particular messages to particular people. ~ Jonathan Edwards, #NFDB
631:As lions became deadlier, so gazelles evolved to run faster, hyenas to cooperate better, and rhinoceroses to be more bad-tempered. In contrast, humankind ascended to the top so quickly that the ecosystem was not given time to adjust. Moreover, humans themselves failed to adjust. Most top predators of the planet are majestic creatures. Millions of years of dominion have filled them with self-confidence. Sapiens by contrast is more like a banana republic dictator. Having so recently been one of the underdogs of the savannah, we are full of fears and anxieties over our position, which makes us doubly cruel and dangerous. Many historical calamities, from deadly wars to ecological catastrophes, have resulted from this over-hasty jump. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
632:You can definitely feel a sort of aggressive challenge emanating from them. They seem to be used to passing people, and probably not used to being passed. They all look so bright, so healthy, attractive, and serious, brimming with self-confidence. With their long strides and strong, sharp kicks, it’s easy to see that they’re typical mid-distance runners, unsuited for long-distance running. They’re more mentally cut out for brief runs at high speed. Compared to them I’m pretty used to losing. There are plenty of things in this world that are way beyond me, plenty of opponents I can never beat. Not to brag, but these girls probably don’t know as much as I do about pain. And, quite naturally, there might not be a need for them to know it. ~ Haruki Murakami, #NFDB
633:He had never been in love. He had not known what it would feel like. He understood what the term meant, but his life had not allowed for exploring its possibilities. There had been few he had really loved. His parents; Michael. That was it. And that was love of a different kind. Less intense, less hungry. What he felt for Simralin went so far beyond anything manageable that it shocked him. He could tell himself it was because he had found her beautiful in a way that transcended anything he had ever known. But his attraction to her was a response to so much more. To her self-confidence and way of speaking. To her smile and the quirky way she lifted one eyebrow when she was amused. To the way she carried herself. To the way she looked at him. ~ Terry Brooks, #NFDB
634:The minds that solved these problems and carried out these designs were obviously minds of the highest order, with a unique combination of theoretic analysis, practical grasp, and imaginative foresight: Imhotep, who built the first stone pyramid at Sakkara, was a minister of state, an architect, an astronomer, and a physician. No narrowly trained specialists or 'experts' these, but men who moved freely over the entire area of existence, like the great artists of the Italian Renaissance. Their prowess and their self-confidence were equal to any occasion: indeed sometimes defied prudence and outstripped the powers of their mighty machines, as later in the embedded Assouan obelisk, weighing 1,168 tons, never finally detached from the solid rock. ~ Lewis Mumford, #NFDB
635:The world is a dangerous place for little girls. Besides, little girls are more fragile, more delicate, more brittle than little boys. ‘Watch out, be careful, watch.’ ‘Don’t climb trees, don’t dirty your dress, don’t accept lifts from strange men. Listen but don’t learn, you won’t need it.’ And so the snail’s antennae grow, watching for this, looking for that, the underneath of things. The threat. And so she wastes so much of her energy, seeking to break those circuits, to push up the millions of tiny thumbs that have tried to quelch energy and creativity and strength and self-confidence; that have so effectively caused her to build fences against possibility, daring; that have so effectively kept her imprisoned inside her notions of self-worthlessness. And ~ Robyn Davidson, #NFDB
636:One could not stand and watch very long without being philosophical, without beginning to deal in symbols and similes, and to hear the hog-squeal of the universe.... Each of them had an individuality of his own, a will of his own, a hope and a heart's desire; each was full of self-confidence, of self-importance, and a sense of dignity. And trusting and strong in faith he had gone about his business, the while a black shadow hung over him, and a horrid Fate in his pathway. Now suddenly it had swooped upon him, and had seized him by the leg. Relentless, remorseless, all his protests, his screams were nothing to it. It did its cruel will with him, as if his wishes, his feelings, had simply no existence at all; it cut his throat and watched him gasp out his life. ~ Upton Sinclair, #NFDB
637:To be specific, the self-sins are self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them. The grosser manifestations of these sins – egotism, exhibitionism, self-promotion – are strangely tolerated Christian leaders, even in circles of impeccable orthodoxy. They are so much in evidence as actually, for many people, to become identified with the gospel. I trust it is not cynical observation to say that they appear these days to be a requisite for popularity in some sections of the church visible. Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice. ~ A W Tozer, #NFDB
638:To be specific, the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them. The grosser manifestations of these sins, egotism, exhibitionism, self-promotion, are strangely tolerated in Christian leaders even in circles of impeccable orthodoxy. They are so much in evidence as actually, for many people, to become identified with the gospel. I trust it is not a cynical observation to say that they appear these days to be a requisite for popularity in some sections of the Church visible. Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
639:West was remote in the minds of most New Yorkers during the holiday season of 1948. But, despite the new wealth that was flooding into the city, and the self-confidence that victory naturally brought, there was a generalized sense of anxiety about the future. “The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible,” the essayist E. B. White had observed that summer. “A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers, cremate the millions.” White was writing at the dawn of the nuclear age, and the feeling of vulnerability was quite new. “In the mind of whatever perverted dreamer might loose the lightning,” he observed, “New York must hold a steady, irresistible charm. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
640:As long as people are either hyperaroused or shut down, they cannot learn from experience. Even if they manage to stay in control, they become so uptight (Alcoholics Anonymous calls this “white-knuckle sobriety”) that they are inflexible, stubborn, and depressed. Recovery from trauma involves the restoration of executive functioning and, with it, self-confidence and the capacity for playfulness and creativity. If we want to change posttraumatic reactions, we have to access the emotional brain and do “limbic system therapy”: repairing faulty alarm systems and restoring the emotional brain to its ordinary job of being a quiet background presence that takes care of the housekeeping of the body, ensuring that you eat, sleep, connect with intimate partners, protect your children, and defend against danger. ~ Bessel A van der Kolk, #NFDB
641:Ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same question and she will attribute her success to external factors, insisting she did well because she “worked really hard,” or “got lucky,” or “had help from others.” Men and women also differ when it comes to explaining failure. When a man fails, he points to factors like “didn’t study enough” or “not interested in the subject matter.” When a woman fails, she is more likely to believe it is due to an inherent lack of ability. 8 And in situations where a man and a woman each receive negative feedback, the woman’s self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree. 9 The internalization of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt future performance, so this pattern has serious long-term consequences. 10 ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
642:I do, however, have confidence in my environment. When it comes to the things I own, the clothes I wear, the house I live in, and the people in my life, when it comes to my environment as a whole, although it may not seem particularly special to anyone else, I am confident and extremely grateful to be surrounded by what I love, by things and people that are, each and every one, special, precious, and exceedingly dear to me. The things and people that bring me joy support me. They give me the confidence that I will be all right. I want to help others who feel the way I once did, who lack self-confidence and find it hard to open their hearts to others, to see how much support they receive from the space they live in and the things that surround them. This is why I spend my time visiting people’s homes and instructing them in how to tidy. An ~ Marie Kond, #NFDB
643:Ellington would be growing up in a culture saturated with an idea you might call the cognitive hypothesis: the belief... that success today primarily depends on cognitive skills - the kind of intelligence that gets measured on IQ tests... and that the best way to develop these skills is to practice them as much as possible, beginning as early as possible.
...But in the past decade, a disparate group of scientists have begun to produce evidence that calls into question the cognitive hypothesis. What matters most in a child's development... is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities: self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit, and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us sometimes think of them as character. ~ Paul Tough,#NFDB
644:... he will seek vainly to the right and to the left and in the newspapers for a guarantee that he has actually been amused.
For a sophisticated person, on the other hand, who is still unembarrassed enough to dare to be amused all by himself, who has enough self-confidence to know, without seeking advice from anyone else, whether he has been amused, farce will perhaps have a very special meaning, in that now with the spaciousness of abstraction and now with the presentation of a tangible actuality, it will affect his mood differently.
He will, of course refrain from bringing a fixed and definite mood with him so that everything affects him in relation to that mood. He will have perfected his mood, in that he will be able to keep himself in a condition where no particular mood is present, but where all moods are possible. ~ S ren Kierkegaard,#NFDB
645:Everything that isn't gospel is law. Let us say it again: Everything that isn't gospel is law. Every way we try to make our kids good that isn't rooted in the good news of the life, death, ressurection, and assension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law. We won't get the results we want from the law. We'll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both (frequently from the same kid on the same day!). We'll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down on others (and could easily become Mormons), or you'll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can't wait to get out of the house. We have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, the law is given for one reason only: to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ. ~ Elyse M Fitzpatrick, #NFDB
646:Truly Human September 12 In addition to the battle to “get ahead,” there is another: THIS OTHER WAR is the war not to conquer but the war to become whole and at peace inside our skins. It is a war not of conquest now but of liberation because the object of this other war is to liberate that dimension of selfhood which has somehow become lost, that dimension of selfhood that involves the capacity to forgive and to will the good not only of the self but of all other selves. This other war is the war to become a human being. This is the goal that we are really after and that God is really after. This is the goal that power, success, and security are only forlorn substitutes for. This is the victory that not all our human armory of self-confidence and wisdom and personality can win for us—not simply to be treated as human but to become at last truly human. ~ Frederick Buechner, #NFDB
647:You are always afraid that somebody may think you a fool. You are afraid that if others think you to be a fool, you will start suspecting it. If so many people think you a fool your self-confidence will be lost. And if everybody goes on repeating that you are a fool, sooner or later you will come to believe it.
Only a wise man cannot be deceived, he can appear as a fool.
Have you observed yourself? You are always trying to exhibit your wisdom, always in search of a victim to whom you can show your knowledge, just searching, hunting for somebody weaker than you – then you will jump in and you will show your wisdom.
A wise man need not be an exhibitionist. Whatsoever is, is. He is not aware of it, he is not in any hurry to show it. If you want to find it, you will have to make efforts. If you have to know whether he is gentle or not, that is going to be your discovery. ~ Osho,#NFDB
648:He clasped the amulet around her neck.
"It's only a symbol," she said in a drowsy kind of way. "Only a symbol of the power inside me."
"Then feel that power," Veto urged.
She glanced at him. It was too late.
But as she continued to stare into Veto's fading eyes something happened. She realized instinctively that the real power had always been inside her. It was something no one could steal from her. She could feel the energy building, pulsing through her like a jaguar in the night. Her gift of premonition and the amulet were only symbols. She understood now that Maggie had wanted her to realize this for herself; she had never stopped being a Daughter of the Moon. If Maggie had simply told her that she had the ability to stand against evil without using violence, or her gift, then she never would have found the self-confidence and faith that she felt rising in her now. ~ Lynne Ewing,#NFDB
649:However, in looking back at the enthusiasm of my younger, newly Calvinist self, I also cringe at the rough edges of my spiritual hubris – an especially ugly vice. The simple devotion of my brothers and sisters became an occasion for derision, and I spent an inordinate amount of time pointing out the error of their (“Arminian”) ways. How strange that discovering the doctrines of grace should translate into haughty self-confidence and a notable lack of charity. I had become a caricature of the unforgiving servant in Jesus’s parable (Matt. 18:23–35). At times, I saw creeping versions of the same pride in these young folks I spent time with in Los Angeles – an arrogance I understood but also abhorred. And in this particular case, there seemed to be something in their Calvinism that gave comfort to wider cultural notions of machismo that did not reflect the radical grace and mercy of the gospel. ~ James K A Smith, #NFDB
650:And each of them had an individuality of his own, a will of his own, a hope and a heart's desire; each was full of self-confidence, of self-importance, and a sense of dignity. And trusting and strong in faith he had gone about his business, the while a black shadow hung over him and a horrid Fate waited in his pathway. Now suddenly it had swooped upon him, and had seized him by the leg. Relentless, remorseless, it was; all his protests, his screams, were nothing to it—it did its cruel will with him, as if his wishes, his feelings, had simply no existence at all; it cut his throat and watched him gasp out his life. And now was one to believe that there was nowhere a god of hogs, to whom this hog personality was precious, to whom these hog squeals and agonies had a meaning? Who would take this hog into his arms and comfort him, reward him for his work well done, and show him the meaning of his sacrifice? ~ Upton Sinclair, #NFDB
651:The artist and the fundamentalist arise from societies at differing stages of development. The artist is the advanced model. His culture possesses affluence, stability, enough excess of resource to permit the luxury of self-examination. The artist is grounded in freedom. He is not afraid of it. He is lucky. He was born in the right place. He has a core of self-confidence, of hope for the future. He believes in progress and evolution. His faith is that humankind is advancing, however haltingly and imperfectly, toward a better world. The fundamentalist entertains no such notion. In his view, humanity has fallen from a higher state. The truth is not out there awaiting revelation; it has already been revealed. The word of God has been spoken and recorded by His prophet, be he Jesus, Muhammad, or Karl Marx. Fundamentalism is the philosophy of the powerless, the conquered, the displaced and the dispossessed. ~ Steven Pressfield, #NFDB
652:Top 10 Reasons to Establish Written Goals for Your Life 10. Written goals strengthen your character by promoting a long-term perspective. 9. Written goals allow you to lead your life as opposed to simply managing it. 8. Written goals provide internal, permanent, and consistent motivation. 7. Written goals help you stay focused—to concentrate on what’s most important. 6. Written goals enhance your decision-making ability. 5. Written goals simultaneously require and build self-confidence. 4. Written goals help you create the future in advance. 3. Written goals help you to control changes—to adjust your sails, to work with the wind rather than against it. 2. Written goals heighten your awareness of opportunities that are consistent with your goals. 1. And finally, the most important benefit of setting effective goals is the person you become as a result of the pursuit! ~ Tommy Newberry, #NFDB
653:This saying also implies that if you realize that you are incompetent but do not wish to remain so, you should perhaps go out and have some adventures. If you survive, not only will you gain some measure of competence (lessons learned in extreme circumstances are not soon forgotten) but you will also acquire certain other qualities—self-confidence, fearlessness, a certain inner calm—that will make it easier to face any other adversity in spite of your incompetence. Taking this a step further, you can think of surviving adventures in spite of incompetence as a special skill. Given what our future holds, we are all going to be rendered incompetent at some point. Yes, we are all amateurs when it comes to surviving the future. Of course, there are still many things that are worth learning to increase your level of competence, but perhaps you should also work on becoming better at compensating for your incompetence—by having some adventures. ~ Dmitry Orlov, #NFDB
654:You’re the most beautiful woman in the room, Alex.” She smiled up at him. “And you are the greatest bounder in the room, Freddie.” “True. Yet you can’t help but enjoy my company. Admit it.” “I never said I didn’t enjoy it…but I’m told it’s risky. Ella and Vivi think you’ve got me in your sights.” “And if they were right?” His voice was deeper than usual, and she imagined this was exactly the tone he’d practiced to send young women into fits. She scoffed. “Save it, Stanhope. If you thought even for a minute that I might possibly fall for you, you’d run. Far. And fast.” “Too true, my brilliant, perceptive friend. Too true.” “Someday, Freddie…someday, some young lady is going to set you on your ear. And you won’t be able to resist her.” “Never.” “And, with such pompous self-confidence, it’s a certainty.” “I shall shamelessly flirt with you and drive her away.” “This isn’t shameless flirting already?” “Not at all! I’m just getting started. ~ Sarah MacLean, #NFDB
655:John Dryden called jealousy “the jaundice of the soul.” If your jealousy gets in your way, and creates any amount of emotional immobility, then you can set as a goal the elimination of this wasteful thinking. Jealousy is really a demand that someone love you in a certain way, and you saying “It isn’t fair” when they don’t. It comes from a lack of self-confidence, simply because it is an other-directed activity. It allows their behavior to be the cause of your emotional discomfort. People who really like themselves don’t choose jealousy or allow themselves to be distraught when someone else doesn’t play fair.
You can never predict how someone you love will react to another human being, but if they choose to be affectionate or loving you can only experience the immobility of jealousy if you see their decisions as having anything to do with you. That is your choice. If a partner loves another, he isn’t being “unfair,” he is simply being. ~ Wayne W Dyer,#NFDB
656:When the time is taken to build proper relationships and when leaders choose to put their people before their numbers, when we can actually feel a sense of trust for each other, the oxytocin released in our bodies can reverse many of the negative effects of operating in a high-stress, cortisol-soaked environment. In other words, it’s not the nature of the work we do or the number of hours we work that will help us reduce stress and achieve work-life balance; it’s increased amounts of oxytocin and serotonin. Serotonin boosts our self-confidence and inspires us to help those who work for us and make proud those for whom we work. Oxytocin relieves stress, increases our interest in our work and improves our cognitive abilities, making us better able to solve complex problems. It boosts our immune systems, lowers blood pressure, increases our libido and actually lessens our cravings and addictions. And best of all, it inspires us to work together. ~ Simon Sinek, #NFDB
657:Aomame knew that he worked for a corporation connected with oil. He was a specialist on capital investment in a number of Middle Eastern countries. According to the information she had been given, he was one of the more capable men in the field. She could see it in the way he carried himself. He came from a good family, earned a sizable income, and drove a new Jaguar. After a pampered childhood, he had gone to study abroad, spoke good English and French, and exuded self-confidence. He was the type who could not bear to be told what to do, or to be criticized, especially if the criticism came from a woman. He had no difficulty bossing others around, though, and cracking a few of his wife’s ribs with a golf club was no problem at all. As far as he was concerned, the world revolved around him, and without him the earth didn’t move at all. He could become furious—violently angry—if anyone interfered with what he was doing or contradicted him in any way. ~ Haruki Murakami, #NFDB
658:Well, in our society, we have things that you might use your intelligence on, like politics, but people really can't get involved in them in a very serious way―so what they do is they put their minds into other things, such as sports. You're trained to be obedient; you don't have an interesting job; there's no work around for you that's creative; in the cultural environment you're a passive observer of usually pretty tawdry stuff; political and social life are out of your range, they're in the hands of the rich folk. So what's left? Well, one thing that's left is sports―so you put a lot of the intelligence and the thought and the self-confidence into that. And I suppose that's also one of the basic functions it serves in the society in general: it occupies the population, and keeps them from trying to get involved with things that really matter. In fact, I presume that's part of the reason why spectator sports are supported to the degree they are by the dominant institutions. ~ Noam Chomsky, #NFDB
659:Weakness is a feeling” You feel either weak or strong, there’s nothing in between.
I can’t imagine a mere quote being read at the right moment when weakness is at its strongest and influence one’s strength.
Weakness is a realization that you’re not strong by feelings insignificants and puniness
Translate this to low self-confidence or self-worth.
If you don’t feel valuable or sought after, your confidence is shattered, thus greatly affecting energy levels leading to brain power depletion and ultimately, Depression, the grandfather of deterioration.
Realize that you’re weak. Breath in the weakness. Fill every cavity cell in and on your body with this air of weakness… Dreadful. I’m so weak… bath in the air of despair, self-loathing and hatred, let the brew of feeble sadness cloud your senses and impair your judgement. Accept that this is all the sadness and weakness you will ever feel, inhale, now rid the body of this foul deceit and EXHALE!
You are ready… My child ~ Unknown,#NFDB
660:The net effect of opening the “gate of change” to the first three habits—the habits of Private Victory—will be significantly increased self-confidence. You will come to know yourself in a deeper, more meaningful way—your nature, your deepest values and your unique contribution capacity. As you live your values, your sense of identity, integrity, control, and inner-directedness will infuse you with both exhilaration and peace. You will define yourself from within, rather than by people’s opinions or by comparisons to others. “Wrong” and “right” will have little to do with being found out. Ironically, you’ll find that as you care less about what others think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds, including their relationship with you. You’ll no longer build your emotional life on other people’s weaknesses. In addition, you’ll find it easier and more desirable to change because there is something—some core deep within—that is essentially changeless. ~ Stephen R Covey, #NFDB
661:is woven of the fine threads of the self-life, the hyphenated sins of the human spirit. They are not something we do, they are something we are, and therein lies both their subtlety and their power. To be specific, the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them. The grosser manifestations of these sins, egotism, exhibitionism, self-promotion, are strangely tolerated in Christian leaders even in circles of impeccable orthodoxy. They are so much in evidence as actually, for many people, to become identified with the gospel. I trust it is not a cynical observation to say that they appear these days to be a requisite for popularity in some sections of the Church visible. Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice. ~ A W Tozer, #NFDB
662:Movements are not initiated by revolutionaries. They begin when large numbers of people, having reached the point where they can’t take the way things are anymore, see some hope of improving their daily lives and begin to move on their own. I have also learned that if you want to know what a movement is going to be about, you should keep your ears close to the grassroots to hear the “why” questions that people are asking. For example, during and after World War II when black folks had acquired a new self-confidence from working in the plant and fighting overseas, they began asking, “Why do white folks treat us this way?” with a new urgency, and so the civil rights movement was born. In the 1960s, when white flight to the suburbs made blacks the majority or near-majority in cities like Detroit, people began asking, “Why are all the political leaders in our city still white?” giving rise to the Black Power movement. In the mid-1980s the main questions people in Detroit were asking were about young people and violence. ~ Grace Lee Boggs, #NFDB
663:I was sixteen back then, and I was going to a party with my girlfriend and Earl. Earl was driving, and his new squeeze was in the passenger seat. I was in the back, holding hands with mine. That was such a big thing at that age, clasping the hand of someone you loved. A heady declaration, the closing of a circuit, the joining of two souls. When you get older you don't seem to do it so much. Your hands are generally busy with other things, and every relationship goes through an accelerated evolution. Everyone you meet has an apartment, and either self-confidence or a desperate lack of it: Either tends to make you rush through the hand-holding stage. Sure, you may do it later, but it's not the same. It's like eating your appetizer after your dessert. When you're a grown-up, the only time you get to trace slowly through that delicious progression is when you're having an affair, which I guess is why so many people have affairs. A trip back in time, to when everything had weight, through the medium of unfaithfulness. ~ Michael Marshall Smith, #NFDB
664:It probably would have shocked my fans to find out how self-conscious I was at the height of my idol-dom. On August 1, 1987, I forced myself to create a self-confidence project, hoping to increase my self-esteem, by listing my positive traits as I saw them. I am a healthy person. I am very sensitive to others’ problems. I am an honest person, I am a good actor, I am an affectionate person, and I like to be open to suggestions and ready for a change if needed. I was embarrassed by how I looked—you already know about my zits. My paranoia grew when I discovered “Cameron” literally means “crooked nose.” I went straight to the mirror, examined my nose from every angle and realized with horror that my nose didn’t go straight down between my eyes—it went diagonally. All I could think about was my stupid crooked nose. I fretted over how ugly I was and wondered why anyone would want to be around someone so gross. Trying to be helpful, Dad said, “You’re on the cover of 14 magazines this month. Obviously somebody doesn’t think you’re ugly. ~ Kirk Cameron, #NFDB
665:Today’s pubic hair removal may indicate something similar: we have opened our most intimate parts to unprecedented scrutiny, evaluation, commodification. Largely as a result of the Brazilian trend, cosmetic labiaplasty, the clipping of the folds of skin surrounding the vulva, has skyrocketed: while still well behind nose and boob jobs, according to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (ASAPS), there was a 44 percent rise in the procedure between 2012 and 2013—and a 64 percent jump the previous year. Labiaplasty is almost never related to sexual function or pleasure; it can actually impede both. Never mind: Dr. Michael Edwards, the ASAPS president in 2013, hailed the uptick as part of “an ever-evolving concept of beauty and self-confidence.” The most sought-after look, incidentally, is called—are you ready?—the Barbie: a “‘ clamshell’-type effect in which the outer labia appear fused, with no labia minora protruding.” I trust I don’t need to remind the reader that Barbie is (a) made of plastic and (b) has no vagina. ~ Peggy Orenstein, #NFDB
666:Just as, in the case of love, children acquire, via the continuous experience of 'maternal' care, the basic self-confidence to assert their needs in an unforced manner, adult subjects acquire, via the experience of legal recognition, the possibility of seeing their actions as the universally respected expression of their own autonomy. The idea that self-respect is for legal relations what basic self-confidence was for the love relationship is already suggested by the conceptual appropriateness of viewing rights as depersonalized symbols of social respect in just the way that love can be conceived as the affectional expression of care retained over distance. [...] What is required are conditions in which individual rights are no longer granted disparately to members of social status groups but are granted equally to all people as free beings; only then will the individual legal person be able to see in them an objectivated point of reference for the idea that he or she is recognized for having the capacity for autonomously forming judgments. ~ Axel Honneth, #NFDB
667:One of the major purposes of state simplifications, collectivization, assembly lines, plantations, and planned communities alike is to strip down reality to the bare bones so that the rules will in fact explain more of the situation and provide a better guide to behavior. To the extent that this simplification can be imposed, those who make the rules can actually supply crucial guidance and instruction. This, at any rate, is what I take to be the inner logic of social, economic, and productive de-skilling. If the environment can be simplified down to the point where the rules do explain a great deal, those who formulate the rules and techniques have also greatly expanded their power. They have, correspondingly, diminished the power of those who do not. To the degree that they do succeed, cultivators with a high degree of autonomy, skills, experience, self-confidence, and adaptability are replaced by cultivators following instructions. Such reduction in diversity, movement, and life, to recall Jacobs’s term, represents a kind of social “taxidermy.” The ~ James C Scott, #NFDB
668:In the Vassar study, there was a group of students who, in Senior year, neither suffered conflict to the point of breakdown, nor stopped their own growth to flee into marriage. These were students who were preparing for a profession. They gained in college interests deep enough to commit themselves to a career. The study revealed that virtually all such students with professional ambitions plan to marry, but marriage is for them an activity in which they will voluntarily choose to participate, rather than something that is necessary for any sense of personal identity. Such students have a clear sense of direction, a greater degree of independence and self-confidence than most. They maybe be engaged or deeply in-love, but they do not feel they must sacrifice their own individualities or their career ambitions if they wish to marry. With these girls, the psychologists did not get the impression --as they did with so many-- that interest in men and in marriage is a kind of defense against intellectual development. Their interest in a particular man was real. ~ Betty Friedan, #NFDB
669:Today’s liberals lack the self-confidence to say the same about intellectual freedom, and have become as keen on censorship as conservatives once were... Like homophobic conservatives, who worry that if societies’ taboos go, the promotion of homosexuality will turn young people gay, they (liberals) worry that if the law allows unpalatable views to escape unpunished, hatred will turn to violence. Hence, they support laws against incitement to racial and religious hatred in Britain and across Europe, against Holocaust denial in Germany and Austria, and against Holocaust denial and denial of the Armenian genocide in France. Hence, they enforce speech codes that mandate the punishment of transgressors in the workplace and the universities. Few liberals have the confidence to say that free speech, like sexual freedom, would not create a terrible society, because they do not trust their fellow citizens. They do not realize that most people in modern democracies do not harbour secret fascist fantasies, and that the best way to respond to those who do is to meet their bad arguments with better arguments. ~ Nick Cohen, #NFDB
670:Gentry was reclining on his side, propped up on one elbow, the broad outline of his shoulders obscuring most of the light shed by the bedside lamp. His body was so large and sheltering, his self-confidence so substantial, that it seemed as if she could wrap it around herself like a blanket and stay safe forever.
Shrewdly, he understood her Achilles' heel- that terrible need for sanctuary- and he did not hesitate to make use of it. He slid his arm over her waist, his hand resting on the middle of her back, his thumb brushing along the stiff arc of her spine. "I'll take care of you, Lottie. I'll keep you safe and provide all the comforts you require. All I want in return is for you to enjoy yourself with me. That isn't so terrible, is it?"
He had Lucifer's own skill of making what he sounded perfectly reasonable. Discerning her weakness, he leaned over until the solid weight of his body was poised above her and his thigh pressed into the mattress between her legs. "Kiss me," he whispered. The sweet, drugging spice of his breath and skin sent her thoughts scattering like dry leaves in the wind. ~ Lisa Kleypas,#NFDB
671:You've blotted the rich form of desire from my life and left me only some vaguely eccentric behaviors that have grown up to integrate so much pleasure into the mundane world around me. What text could I write now? It's as though I cannot even remember what I once desired. All I can look for now, when I have the energy, is lost desire itself-- and I look for it by clearly inadequate means. At best such an account as I might write would read like the life of anyone else, with, now and again, a bizarre and interruptive incident, largely mysterious and completely demystified-- at least that's what it has become without the day-to-day, moment-to-moment web of wanting that you have unstrung from about my universe. Without it, all falls apart. In a single gesture you've turned me into the most ordinary of human creatures and at once left me an obsessive, pleasureless eccentric, trapped in a set of habits which no longer have reason because they no longer lead to reward. And if I had enough self-confidence, in the midst of this bland continual chaos into which you've shunted me, for hate, I should hate you. But I don't have it. ~ Samuel R Delany, #NFDB
672:perhaps that’s what it’s for – self-confidence and courage and energy and peace – perhaps it’s to be used in the world. Perhaps there’s only one thing to do with it: spend it.
I’m always super-conscious of how whenever I go out into the world, whenever I get involved in a relationship, my idea of who I think I am utterly collides with the reality of who I actually am. And I continue to go out even though who I am always comes up short. I always prove myself to be less generous, less charming, less considerate, not as bold or energetic or intelligent or courageous as I imagined in my solitude. And I’m always being insulted, or snubbed, or disappointed. And I’m never in my pyjamas.
And yet, in some way, maybe this is better. Each of us in this room could suffer the pangs of withdrawal and gain the serenity of the non-smoker. We could be demi-gods in our little castles, all alone, but perhaps, at heart, none of us here wants that. Maybe the only cure for self-confidence and courage is humility. Maybe we go out in order to fall short... because we want to learn how to be good at being people... and moreover, because we want to be people. ~ Sheila Heti,#NFDB
673:The chain of events that began with the intense rivalry between the Roman Empire and Persia had extraordinary consequences. As the two great powers of late antiquity flexed their muscles and prepared for a final showdown, few could have predicted that it would be a faction from the far reaches of the Arabian peninsula that would rise up to supplant both. Those who had been inspired by Mu  ammad truly inherited the earth, establishing perhaps the greatest empire that the world has seen, one that would introduce irrigation techniques and new crops from the Tigris and Euphrates to the Iberian peninsula, and spark nothing less than an agrarian revolution spanning thousands of miles. 98 The Islamic conquests created a new world order, an economic giant, bolstered by self-confidence, broad-mindedness and a passionate zeal for progress. Immensely wealthy and with few natural political or even religious rivals, it was a place where order prevailed, where merchants could become rich, where intellectuals were respected and where disparate views could be discussed and debated. An unpromising start in a cave near Mecca had given birth to a cosmopolitan utopia of sorts. ~ Peter Frankopan, #NFDB
674:We should wash the fur of the magistrate and clean out his mouth whether he laughs or rages. Christ has instructed us preachers not to withhold the truth from the lords (rulers) but to exhort and chide them in their injustice. Christ did not say to Pilate "You have no power over me". He said that Pilate did have power, but he said, "You do not have this power from yourself. It is given to you from God." Therefore he upbraided Pilate. We do the same, we recognize the authority, but we must rebuke our Pilates in their crime and self-confidence. Then they say to us, "You are reviling the majesty of God" to which we answer, "We will suffer what you do to us, but to keep still and let it appear that you do right when you do wrong, that we cannot and will not do." We must confess the truth and rebuke the evil. There is a big difference between suffering injustice and keeping still. We should suffer, we should not keep still. The Christian must bear testimony for the truth and die for the truth. But how can he die for the truth if he has not first confessed the truth? Thus Christ showed that Pilate did exercise authority from God and at the same time rebuked him for doing wrong. ~ Martin Luther, #NFDB
675:Mastery is not a function of genius or talent. It is a function of time and intense focus applied to a particular field of knowledge. But there is another element, an X factor that Masters inevitably possess, that seems mystical but that is accessible to us all. Whatever field of activity we are involved in, there is generally an accepted path to the top. It is a path that others followed, and because we are conformist creatures, most of us opt for this conventional route. But Masters have a strong inner guiding system and a high level of self-awareness. What has suited others in the past does not suit them, and they know that trying to fit into a conventional mold would only lead to a dampening of spirit, the reality they seek eluding them.
And so inevitably, these Masters, as they progress on their career paths, make a choice at a key moment in their lives: they decide to forge their own route, one that others will see as unconventional, but that suits their own spirit and rhythms and leads them closer to discovering the hidden truths of their objects of study. This key choice takes self-confidence and self-awarenes–the X factor that is necessary for attaining mastery... ~ Robert Greene,#NFDB
676:In itself all publicity disturbs a man’s natural equilibrium. In normal circumstances your name means no more than the band on a cigar—a means of recognition, an outward object of little importance that is only loosely linked to the real subject, the Self. But in the case of success that name, so to speak, swells to a larger dimension. It frees itself from the man who bears it and becomes a power, a force, something independent, a commodity, capital. And then, with a violent backlash, it turns in on its bearer as a force that begins to influence, dominate and change him. Happy, self-confident natures unconsciously start identifying themselves with the influence they exert. A title, a position, a medal or decoration, and the publicity that now goes with their names can enhance their self-confidence, tempting them to feel that special recognition is their right in contemporary society and their country, and they instinctively puff themselves up to make themselves personally influential in the outside world. However, a man who naturally distrusts himself tends to feel that outward success of any kind makes it his duty, in what to him is a difficult situation, to change as little as possible. ~ Stefan Zweig, #NFDB
677:By the time I reached the coffee-shop door, however, my self-confidence had collapsed. Panic had taken its place. I believed that I was the ugliest, dirtiest little old bum in Manhattan. If I went into the coffee shop everybody would be nauseated. They would throw me out and tell me to go to the Bowery, where I belonged.
But I somehow found the courage to go in anyway - and imagine my surprise! It was a though I had died and gone to heaven! A waitress said to me, "Honeybunch, you sit right own, and I'll bring you your coffee right away." I hadn't said anything to her.
So I did sit down, and everywhere I looked I saw customers of every description being received with love. To the waitress everybody was "honeybunch" and "darling" and "dear". It was like an emergency ward after a great catastrophe. It did not matter what race or class the victims belonged to. They were all given the same miracle drug, which was coffee. The catastrophe in this case, of course, was that the sun had come up again.
I had the feeling that if Frankenstein's monster crashed into the coffee shop through a brick wall, all anybody would say to him was, "You sit down here, Lambchop, and I'll bring your coffee right away. ~ Kurt Vonnegut,#NFDB
678:The publisher said of somebody, 'That man will get on; he believes in himself.' [...] I said to him, 'Shall I tell you where the men are who believe most in themselves? For I can tell you. I know of men who believe in themselves more colossally than Napoleon or Caesar. I know where flames the fixed star of certainty and success. I can guide you to the thrones of Supermen. The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.' He said mildly that there were a good many men after all who believed in themselves and who were not in lunatic asylums. 'Yes, there are,' I retorted, 'and you of all men ought to know them. The drunken poet from whom you would not take a dreary tragedy, he believed in himself. That elderly minister with an epic from whom you were hiding in a back room, he believed in himself. If you consulted your business experiences instead of your ugly individualistic philosophy, you would know that believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter. Actors who can't act believe in themselves; and debtors who won't pay. It would be much truer to say that a man will certainly fail, because he believes in himself. Complete self confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. ~ G K Chesterton, #NFDB
679:You revolutionists' the other continued, with leisurely self-confidence, 'are the slaves of the social convention, which is afraid of you; slaves of it as much as the very police that stands up in the defence of that convention. Clearly you are, since you want to revolutionize it. It governs your action, too, and thus neither your thought nor your action can ever be conclusive. (...) 'You are not a bit better than the forces arrayed against you -- than the police, for instance. The other day I came suddenly upon Chief Inspector Heat at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. He looked at me very steadily. But I did not look at him. Why should I give him more than a glance ? He was thinking of many things -- of his superiors, of his reputation, of the law courts, of his salary, of newspapers -- of a hundred things. But I was thinking of my perfect detonator only. He meant nothing to me. He was as insignificant as -- I can't call to mind anything insignificant enough to compare him with -- except Karl Yundt perhaps. Like to like. The terrorist and the policeman both come from the same basket. Revolutions, legality -- counter moves in the same game; forms of idleness at bottom identical. He plays his little game -- so do you propagandists. ~ Joseph Conrad, #NFDB
680:May 12. I have had a slight feverish attack for the last few days, and I feel ill, or rather I feel low-spirited. Whence come those mysterious influences which change our happiness into discouragement, and our self-confidence into diffidence? One might almost say that the air, the invisible air, is full of unknowable Forces, whose mysterious presence we have to endure. I wake up in the best of spirits, with an inclination to sing in my heart. Why? I go down by the side of the water, and suddenly, after walking a short distance, I return home wretched, as If some misfortune were awaiting me there. Why? Is it a cold shiver which, passing over my skin, has upset my nerves and given me a fit of low spirits? Is it the form of the clouds, or the tints of the sky, or the colors of the surrounding objects which are so changeable, which have troubled my thoughts as they passed before my eyes? Who can tell? Everything that surrounds us, everything that we see without looking at it, everything that we touch without knowing it, everything that we handle without feeling it, everything that we meet without clearly distinguishing it, has a rapid, surprising, and inexplicable effect upon us and upon our organs, and through them on our ideas and on our being itself. ~ Guy de Maupassant, #NFDB
681:But the greatest paradox of the sport has to do with the psychological makeup of the people who pull the oars. Great oarsmen and oarswomen are necessarily made of conflicting stuff—of oil and water, fire and earth. On the one hand, they must possess enormous self-confidence, strong egos, and titanic willpower. They must be almost immune to frustration. Nobody who does not believe deeply in himself or herself—in his or her ability to endure hardship and to prevail over adversity—is likely even to attempt something as audacious as competitive rowing at the highest levels. The sport offers so many opportunities for suffering and so few opportunities for glory that only the most tenaciously self-reliant and self-motivated are likely to succeed at it. And yet, at the same time—and this is key—no other sport demands and rewards the complete abandonment of the self the way that rowing does. Great crews may have men or women of exceptional talent or strength; they may have outstanding coxswains or stroke oars or bowmen; but they have no stars. The team effort—the perfectly synchronized flow of muscle, oars, boat, and water; the single, whole, unified, and beautiful symphony that a crew in motion becomes—is all that matters. Not the individual, not the self. ~ Daniel James Brown, #NFDB
682:I strip myself emotionally when I confess need – that I would be lost without you, that I am not necessarily the independent person I have tried to appear, but am a far less admirable weakling with little clue of life’s course or meaning. When I cry and tell you things I trust you will keep for yourself, that would destroy me if others were to learn of them, when I give up the game of gazing seductively at parties and admit it’s you I care about, I am stripping myself of a carefully sculpted illusion of invulnerability. I become as defenseless and trusting as the person in the circus trick, strapped to a board into which another is throwing knives to within inches of my skin, knives I have myself freely given. I allow you to see me humiliated, unsure of myself, vacillating, drained of self-confidence, hating myself and hence unable to convince you [should I need to] to do otherwise. I am weak when I have shown you my panicked face at three in the morning, anxious before existence, free of the blustering, optimistic philosophies I had proclaimed over dinner. I learn to accept the enormous risk that though I am not the confident pin-up of everyday life, though you have at hand an exhaustive catalogue of my fears and phobias, you may nevertheless love me. ~ Alain de Botton, #NFDB
683:Wednesday, November 8th, 1893
Here I sit in the still winter night on the drifting ice-floe, and see only stars above me. Far off I see the threads of life twisting themselves into the intricate web which stretches unbroken from life’s sweet morning dawn to the eternal death-stillness of ice. Thought follows thought—you pick the whole to pieces, and it seems so small—but high above all towers one form … Why did you take this voyage? … Could I do otherwise? Can the river arrest its course and run up hill? My plan has come to nothing. That palace of theory which I reared, in pride and self-confidence, high above all silly objections has fallen like a house of cards at the first breath of wind. Build up the most ingenious theories and you may be sure of one thing—that fact will defy them all. Was I so very sure? Yes, at times; but that was self-deception, intoxication. A secret doubt lurked behind all the reasoning. It seemed as though the longer I defended my theory, the nearer I came to doubting it. But no, there is not getting over the evidence of that Siberian drift-wood. But if, after all, we are on the wrong track, what then? Only disappointed human hopes, nothing more. And even if we perish, what will it matter in the endless cycles of eternity? ~ Fridtjof Nansen,#NFDB
684:The surgeon knows that her work is creative work. A machine can’t do it because it requires human delicacy and decision making. It can’t be done by an automaton because it requires critical thinking and a good dose of winging-it-ness. Her work requires a balance of self-confidence and collaboration, a blend of intuition and improvisation. If the surgeon, while slicing that vulnerable brain, hits an unexpected bump in the process and needs to ask the person beside her for something essential—and quickly—she has absolutely no time to waste on questions like: Do I deserve to ask for this help? Is this person I’m asking really trustworthy? Am I an asshole for having the power to ask in this moment? She simply accepts her position, asks without shame, gets the right scalpel, and keeps cutting. Something larger is at stake. This holds true for firefighters, airline pilots, and lifeguards, but it also holds true for artists, scientists, teachers—for anyone, in any relationship. Those who can ask without shame are viewing themselves in collaboration with—rather than in competition with—the world. Asking for help with shame says: You have the power over me. Asking with condescension says: I have the power over you. But asking for help with gratitude says: We have the power to help each other. ~ Amanda Palmer, #NFDB
685:and burdens of mature life, when they became aware of their own weakness, they lost their peace, they let go of their precious self-respect, and it became impossible for them to “believe.” That is to say it became impossible for them to comfort themselves, to reassure themselves, with the images and concepts that they found reassuring in childhood. Place no hope in the feeling of assurance, in spiritual comfort. You may well have to get along without this. Place no hope in the inspirational preachers of Christian sunshine, who are able to pick you up and set you back on your feet and make you feel good for three or four days—until you fold up and collapse into despair. Self-confidence is a precious natural gift, a sign of health. But it is not the same thing as faith. Faith is much deeper, and it must be deep enough to subsist when we are weak, when we are sick, when our self-confidence is gone, when our self-respect is gone. I do not mean that faith only functions when we are otherwise in a state of collapse. But true faith must be able to go on even when everything else is taken away from us. Only a humble man is able to accept faith on these terms, so completely without reservation that he is glad of it in its pure state, and welcomes it happily even when nothing else comes with it, and when everything else is taken away. ~ Thomas Merton, #NFDB
686:The main obstacle to success he soon discovered to be Letty's exceeding distrust of herself. I would not be mistaken to mean that she had too little confidence in herself; of that no one can have too little. Self-distrust will only retard, while self-confidence will betray. The man ignorant in these things will answer me, "But you must have one or the other." "You must have neither," I reply. "You must follow the truth, and, in that pursuit, the less one thinks about himself, the pursuer, the better. Let him so hunger and thirst after the truth that the dim vision of it occupies all his being, and leaves no time to think of his hunger and his thirst. Self-forgetfulness in the reaching out after that which is essential to us is the healthiest of mental conditions. One has to look to his way, to his deeds, to his conduct--not to himself. In such losing of the false, or merely reflected, we find the true self. There is no harm in being stupid, so long as a man does not think himself clever; no good in being clever, if a man thinks himself so, for that is a short way to the worst stupidity. If you think yourself clever, set yourself to do something; then you will have a chance of humiliation. With good faculties, and fine instincts, Letty was always thinking she must be wrong, just because it was she was in it--a lovely fault, no doubt, but a fault greatly impeditive to progress, and tormenting to a teacher. ~ George MacDonald, #NFDB
687:June 7 Someone Who Believes In Me "Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery." Basic Text, p. 96 Not all of us arrive in NA and automatically stay clean. But if we keep coming back, we find in Narcotics Anonymous the support we need for our recovery. Staying clean is easier when we have someone who believes in us even when we don't believe in ourselves. Even the most frequent relapser in NA usually has one staunch supporter who is always there, no matter what. It is imperative that we find that one person or group of people who believes in us. When we ask them if we will ever get clean, they will always reply, "Yes, you can and you will. Just keep coming back!" We all need someone who believes in us, especially when we can't believe in ourselves. When we relapse, we undermine our already shattered self-confidence, sometimes so badly that we begin to feel utterly hopeless. At such times, we need the support of our loyal NA friends. They tell us that this can be our last relapse. They know from experience that if we keep coming to meetings, we will eventually get clean and stay clean. It's hard for many of us to believe in ourselves. But when someone loves us unconditionally, offering support no matter how many times we've relapsed, recovery in NA becomes a little more real for us. Just for today: I will find someone who believes in me. I will believe in them. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
688:The way of life is towards fulfillment, however, wherever it may lead. To restore a human being to the current of life means not only to impart self-confidence but also an abiding faith in the processes of life. A man who has confidence in himself must have confidence in others, confidence in the fitness and Tightness of the universe. When a man is thus anchored he ceases to worry about the fitness of things, about the behavior of his fellow-men, about right and wrong and justice and injustice. If his roots are in the current of life he will float on the surface like a lotus and he will blossom and give forth fruit. He will draw his nourishment from above and below; he will send his roots down deeper and deeper, fearing neither the depths nor the heights. The life that’s is in him will manifest itself in growth, and growth is an endless eternal process. He will not be afraid of withering, because decay and death are part of growth. As a seed he began and as a seed he will return. Beginnings and endings are only partial steps in the eternal process. The process is everything … the way … the Tao.
The way of life! A grand expression. Like saying Truth. There is nothing beyond it … it is all.
And so the analyst says Adapt yourself! He does not mean, as some wish to think—adapt yourself to this rotten state of affairs! He means: adapt yourself to life! Become an adept! That is the highest adjustment—to make oneself an adept. ~ Henry Miller,#NFDB
689:Thus we arrive at the problem of the relation of religion to the negation of sexual desire. Sexual debility results in a lowering of self-confidence. In one case it is compensated by the brutalization of sexuality, to maintain sexual repression, in the other by rigid character traits. The compulsion to control one's sexuality, to maintain sexual repression, leads to the development of pathologic, emotionally tinged notions of honor and duty, bravery and self-control. But the pathology and emotionality of these psychic attitudes are strongly at variance with the reality of one's personal behavior. The man who attains genital satisfaction, is honorable, responsible, brave, and controlled, without making much of a fuss about it. These attitudes are an organic part of his personality. The man whose genitals are weakened, whose sexual structure is full of contradictions, must continually remind himself to control his sexuality, to preserve his sexual dignity, to be brave in the face of temptation, etc. The struggle to resist the temptation to masturbate is a struggle that is experienced by every adolescent and every child, without exception. All the elements of the reactionary man's structure are developed in this struggle. It is in the lower middle classes that this structure is reinforced most strongly and embedded most deeply. Every form of mysticism derives it's most active energy and, in part, also it's content from this compulsory suppression of sexuality. ~ Wilhelm Reich, #NFDB
690:Nature of the Desire for Change:
There is in us a tendency to locate the shaping forces of our existence outside ourselves. Success and failure are unavoidably related in our minds with the state of things around us. Hence it is that people with a sense of fulfillment think it a good world and would like to conserve it as it is, while the frustrated favor radical change. The tendency to look for all causes outside ourselves persists even when it is clear that our state of being is the product of personal qualities such as ability, character, appearance, health and so on. “If anything ail a man,” says Thoreau, “so that he does not perform his functions, if he have a pain in his bowels even … he forthwith sets about reforming—the world.”
It is understandable that those who fail should incline to blame the world for their failure. The remarkable thing is that the successful, too, however much they pride themselves on their foresight, fortitude, thrift and other “sterling qualities,” are at bottom convinced that their success is the result of a fortuitous combination of circumstances. The self-confidence of even the consistently successful is never absolute. They are never sure that they know all the ingredients which go into the making of their success. The outside world seems to them a precariously balanced mechanism, and so long as it ticks in their favor they are afraid to tinker with it. Thus the resistance to change and the ardent desire for it spring from the same conviction, and the one can be as vehement as the other. ~ Eric Hoffer,#NFDB
691:How does one transcend himself; how does he open himself to new possibility? By realizing the truth of his situation, by dispelling the lie of his character, by breaking his spirit out of its conditioned prison. The enemy, for Kierkegaard as for Freud, is the Oedipus complex. The child has built up strategies and techniques for keeping his self-esteem in the face of the terror of his situation. These techniques become an armor that hold the person prisoner. The very defenses that he needs in order to move about with self-confidence and self-esteem become his life-long trap. In order to transcend himself he must break down that which he needs in order to live. Like Lear he must throw off all his "cultural lendings" and stand naked in the storm of life. Kierkegaard had no illusions about man's urge to freedom. He knew how comfortable people were inside the prison of their character defenses. Like many prisoners they are comfortable in their limited and protected routines, and the idea of a parole into the wide world of chance, accident, and choice terrifies them. We have only to glance back at Kierkegaard's confession in the epigraph to this chapter to see why. In the prison of one's character one can pretend and feel that he is somebody, that the world is manageable, that there is a reason for one's life, a ready justification for one's action. To live automatically and uncritically is to be assured of at least a minimum share of the programmed cultural heroics-what we might call "prison heroism": the smugness of the insiders who "know. ~ Ernest Becker, #NFDB
692:Gotta go pee first." Nina veered to the toilets.
Of course, Ellie knew the reason Nina had to go to the bathroom before they started their short walk to the restaurant- not to pee, but to touch up. Outside there was a whole new crop of people for Nina to present herself to. Ellie didn't mind Nina's preoccupation with her looks. Nina used her beauty like a talent. If her personal presentation looked like a piece of art, it was only natural that people would enjoy looking at her.
Ellie made her way to Icky's by crossing the street and turning down Mabon Road. As Ellie walked, she prepared herself for lunch with Nina. She guessed, correctly, that people wondered why Nina kept her so close. Nina was a magnet. Men wanted to marry her, or at the very least, sleep with her. Women wanted to be like her and hoped a little of Nina's casual self-confidence would somehow transfer onto them. But Ellie, being a keen observer of human nature, knew exactly why Nina felt the need to have Ellie in her life. With Ellie, Nina talked and talked about herself and her life, never asking Ellie for her opinion or feedback. It was as close as Nina could possibly get to being by herself, which Ellie suspected she preferred over everyone else's company. Ellie supposed this should bother her, but somehow it didn't. She was amused by Nina's outrageous self-love, but Ellie also knew Nina's friendship forced Ellie into human interaction, which she knew was good for her. Nina was always inviting Ellie to openings or parties. They had even vacationed together in Cabo San Lucas one year. ~ Amy S Foster,#NFDB
693:Even more essential, however, is the identification of the individuals in the masses with the "führer." The more helpless the "mass-individual" has become, owing to his upbringing, the more pronounced is his identification with the führer, and the more the childish need for protection is disguised in the form of a feeling at one with the führer. This inclination to identify is the psychological basis of national narcissism, i.e., of the self-confidence that individual man derives from the "greatness of the nation." The reactionary lower middle-class man perceives himself in the führer, in the authoritarian state. On the basis of this identification he feels himself to be a defender of the "national heritage," of the "nation," which does not prevent him, likewise on the basis of this identification, from simultaneously despising "the masses" and confronting them as an individual. The wretchedness of his material and sexual situation is so overshadowed by the exalting idea of belonging to a master race and having a brilliant führer that, as time goes on, he ceases to realize how completely he has sunk to a position of insignificant, blind allegiance.
The worker who is conscious of his skills—he, in short, who has rid himself of his submissive structure, who identifies with his work and not with the führer, with the international working masses and not with the national homeland—represents the opposite of this. He feels himself to be a leader, not on the basis of his identification with the führer, but on the basis of his consciousness of performing work that is vitally necessary for society's existence. ~ Wilhelm Reich,#NFDB
694:Since his back was to her front Chloe had to practically plaster herself against his wide back in order to unbutton his crisp dress shirt, but somehow she didn’t mind. From his low, masculine groan that her action had elicited, she assumed Mark didn’t mind either. His spicy, dangerous scent filled her head as she spread the shirt to find a smooth, muscular chest leading down to powerfully sculpted abs. She wondered what line of work Mark was in. Whatever it was, he certainly kept himself in shape.
“Are you enjoying yourself, Mistress?” His smart-ass tone threw her, breaking her concentration on his muscled chest.
“I’ll ask the questions,” Chloe snapped, deciding abruptly that it was time to move on. She still felt a definite lack of control in this situation and it made her nervous, shattering the fragile self-confidence she’d managed to build. But she couldn’t stop searching him now or he’d be the winner of this little confrontation.
She let her hands slide lower, past the waistband of his pants to the bulging crotch. Oh my God, is he for real? She hadn’t been with very many men—okay, two. She’d only been with two other men. But Mark more than measured up to any other guy in her experience. In fact, she could barely believe what she was feeling was real. It was a damn good thing rule number two was “never have sex with the client”. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t have been able to handle what Mark was packing.
“Uh, Mistress, that’s all me, not a toy.” Mark’s deep voice still held a hint of amusement though it was sounding rather strained now. “And you might want to think of it less as a ‘toy’ than a loaded gun. One that’s going to go off if you’re not careful. ~ Evangeline Anderson,#NFDB
695:Since the values of the market were the highest criteria, persons also became valued as commodities which could be bought and sold. A person's worth is then his salable market value, whether it is skill or 'personality' that is up for sale. [...]
The market value, then, becomes the individual's valuation of himself, so that self-confidence and 'self-feeling' (ones experience of identity with one's self) are largely reflections of what others think of one, in this case the 'others' being those who represent the market. Thus contemporary economic processes have contributed not only to an alienation of man from man, but likewise to 'self-alienation' - an alienation of the individual from himself. As Fromm very well summarizes the point:
Since modern man experiences himself both as the seller and as the commodity to be sold on the market, his self-esteem depends on conditions beyond his control. If he is 'successful,' he is valuable; if he is not, he is worthless. The degree of insecurity which results from this orientation can hardly be overestimated. If one feels that one's own value is not constituted primarily by the human qualities one possesses, but by one's succes on a competitive market with ever-changing conditions, one's self-esteem is bound to be shaky and in constant need of confirmation by others. [Erich Fromm, Man for himself]
In such a situation one is driven to strive relentlessly for 'succes'; this is the chief way to validate ones self and to allay anxiety. And any failure in the competitive struggle is a threat to the quasi-esteem for one's self - which, quasi though it be, is all one has in such a situation. This obviously leads to powerful feelings of helplessness and inferiority.
[p.169f] ~ Rollo May,#NFDB
696:Minutes later, as they lay tangled together, dazed in the aftermath of their loving, Callie began to chuckle silently against Gabriel's side. Lifting his head to find her grinning a wide, silly grin, he drawled, "What is it that has you so amused, lovely?"
"I was simply thinking"- she stopped to catch her breath from the laughter and started again- "I was merely thinking that if that is what riding astride is like, the female population is missing out on one of life's finer experiences." The last word was lost as she dissolved once more onto giggles.
He caught her against him in a fierce hug and sighed, unable to keep himself from smiling up at the ceiling as he said, "You know, Empress, men do not appreciate laughter at this particular moment. It's devastating to the self-confidence."
Her head snapped up and she took in his amused countenance. "Oh, my apologies, good sir," she teased. "I would hate to damage such a fragile ego as that of the Marquess of Ralston."
With a playful growl, he pinned her to the mattress. "Minx. You shall pay for that." And he began to kiss down the side of her neck, nibbling across her collarbone until she sighed with pleasure.
"If this is how I must pay for it, my lord, you may guarantee I shall tease you a great deal in the coming months."
"More than months, I hope," he drawled, distracted by her lovely white breasts. "Years. Decades even."
"Decades," she repeated, awestruck. My God. He's going to be my husband.
"Mmm-hmm," he murmured against her skin before pulling away from her. "Which is why, despite how very difficult it shall be for me to leave you warm and lush in your bed, I shall console myself with the fact that, very soon, I shan't have to do so ever again. ~ Sarah MacLean,#NFDB
697:It is a year and eight months since I last looked at these notes of mine. I do so now only because, being overwhelmed with depression, I wish to distract my mind by reading them through at random. I left them off at the point where I was just going to Homburg. My God, with what a light heart (comparatively speaking) did I write the concluding lines!—though it may be not so much with a light heart, as with a measure of self-confidence and unquenchable hope. At that time had I any doubts of myself? Yet behold me now. Scarcely a year and a half have passed, yet I am in a worse position than the meanest beggar. But what is a beggar? A fig for beggary! I have ruined myself—that is all. Nor is there anything with which I can compare myself; there is no moral which it would be of any use for you to read to me. At the present moment nothing could well be more incongruous than a moral. Oh, you self-satisfied persons who, in your unctuous pride, are forever ready to mouth your maxims—if only you knew how fully I myself comprehend the sordidness of my present state, you would not trouble to wag your tongues at me! What could you say to me that I do not already know? Well, wherein lies my difficulty? It lies in the fact that by a single turn of a roulette wheel everything for me, has become changed. Yet, had things befallen otherwise, these moralists would have been among the first (yes, I feel persuaded of it) to approach me with friendly jests and congratulations. Yes, they would never have turned from me as they are doing now! A fig for all of them! What am I? I am zero—nothing. What shall I be tomorrow? I may be risen from the dead, and have begun life anew. For still, I may discover the man in myself, if only my manhood has not become utterly shattered. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, #NFDB
698:For the past three months I've been lodged in the staring-out-the-window-and burning-toast stage of grief.
According to Dr. Rupert, I had a depressive breakdown brought on by grief...as though showing up at the office in your bathrobe is perfectly understandable.
I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of everyone else dying and leaving me behind.
You don't feel as though you're having a conversation, ore as though you're listening to a book on tape, the title "Steve the Sales Guy Goes on a Dinner Date".
Isn't there some way around having to start this new life without my husband?
I can't return Crystal as though she's an appliance that broke before the warranty expired.
I'm significant otherless.
By the time he calls, maybe I'll be a ndw person with self-confidence and cute comebacks. Straight hair, a better job, a smaller waistline.
How could I have managed to lose my husband, my job, my house, and my ass all in one year?
I'm so eager for intimacy, I would date a tree.
It's a myth that people experience grief for a certain amount of time and then they're over it.
Nine of the fifteen pounds I want to lose cling to me like an overprotective mother who doesn't want me to take my pants off until I'm married again.
Good-riddance list. It's a list of all the stuff you don't like about a guy. You're supposed to make it when you break up with someone.
It's funny how you don't have to be related to someone to love them like family.
Dangerous rebound guy.
My grief is diminished, but it feels permanent, like a scar.
Another grief gold star.
Marion & Crystal moved in with me.
How can I live happily ever after without loving someone again? ~ Lolly Winston,#NFDB
699:The events of the last forty years have inflicted such a blow to the self confidence of Western civilization and to the belief in progress which was so strong during the nineteenth century, that men tend to go too far in the opposite direction: in fact the modern world is experiencing the same kind of danger which was so fatal to the ancient world--the crisis of which Gilbert Murray writes in his Four Stages of Greek Religion as "The Loss of Nerve.”
There have been signs of this in Western literature for a long time past, and it has already had a serious effect on Western culture an education. This is the typical tragedy of the intelligentsia as shown in nineteenth century Russia and often in twentieth century Germany: the case of a society or class devoting enormous efforts to higher education and to the formation of an intellectual elite and then finding that the final result of the system is to breed a spirit of pessimism and nihilism and revolt. There was something seriously wrong about an educational system which cancelled itself out in this way, which picked out the ablest minds in a society and subjected them to an intensive process of competitive development which ended in a revolutionary or cynical reaction against the society that produced it. But behind these defects of an over-cerebralized and over-competitive method of education, there is the deeper cause in the loss of the common spiritual background which unifies education with social life. For the liberal faith in progress which inspired the nineteenth century was itself a substitute for the simpler and more positive religious faith which was the vital bond of the Western community. If we wish to understand our past and the inheritance of Western culture, we have to go behind the nineteenth century development and study the old spiritual community of Western Christendom as an objective historical reality. ~ Christopher Henry Dawson,#NFDB
700:There is a scene in the movie The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. At the beginning, in the woods, Robert Ford, played by Casey Affleck, illustrates this phenomenon. He thinks the outlaw Jesse James is a great man. He thinks that he, himself, is a great man, too. He wants someone to recognize that in him. He wants someone to give him an opportunity—a project through which he can prove his worth. It just happens that Frank James would size the delusional, awkward boy up in the woods outside Blue Cut, Missouri: “You don’t have the ingredients, son.” In contrast, Mr. A is ambitious, but it’s paired with self-confidence, social adeptness, and a clear sense of what Thiel wanted. Even so, the prospect of meeting with Thiel is intimidating: his stomach churning, every nerve and synapse alive and flowing. He’s twenty-six years old. He’s sitting down for a one-on-one evening with a man worth, by 2011, some $ 1.5 billion and who owns a significant chunk of the biggest social network in the world, on whose board of directors he also sits. Even if Thiel were just an ordinary investor, dinner with him would make anyone nervous. One quickly finds that he is a man notoriously averse to small talk, or what a friend once deemed “casual bar talk.” Even the most perfunctory comment to Thiel can elicit long, deep pauses of consideration in response—so long you wonder if you’ve said something monumentally stupid. The tiny assumptions that grease the wheels of conversation find no quarter with Thiel. There is no chatting with Peter about the weather or about politics in general. It’s got to be, “I’ve been studying opening moves in chess, and I think king’s pawn might be the best one.” Or, “What do you think of the bubble in higher education?” And then you have to be prepared to talk about it at the expert level for hours on end. You can’t talk about television or music or pop culture because the person you’re sitting across from doesn’t care about these things and he couldn’t pretend to be familiar with them if he wanted to. ~ Ryan Holiday, #NFDB
701:Fatigue has built up after all this training, and I can’t seem to run very fast. As I’m leisurely jogging along the Charles River, girls who look to be new Harvard freshmen keep on passing me. Most of these girls are small, slim, have on maroon Harvard-logo outfits, blond hair in a ponytail, and brand-new iPods, and they run like the wind. You can definitely feel a sort of aggressive challenge emanating from them. They seem to be used to passing people, and probably not used to being passed. They all look so bright, so healthy, attractive, and serious, brimming with self-confidence. With their long strides and strong, sharp kicks, it’s easy to see that they’re typical mid-distance runners, unsuited for long-distance running. They’re more mentally cut out for brief runs at high speed. Compared to them I’m pretty used to losing. There are plenty of things in this world that are way beyond me, plenty of opponents I can never beat. Not to brag, but these girls probably don’t know as much as I do about pain. And, quite naturally, there might not be a need for them to know it. These random thoughts come to me as I watch their proud ponytails swinging back and forth, their aggressive strides. Keeping to my own leisurely pace, I continue my run down along the Charles. Have I ever had such luminous days in my own life? Perhaps a few. But even if I had a long ponytail back then, I doubt if it would have swung so proudly as these girls’ ponytails do. And my legs wouldn’t have kicked the ground as cleanly and as powerfully as theirs. Maybe that’s only to be expected. These girls are, after all, brand-new students at the one and only Harvard University. Still, it’s pretty wonderful to watch these pretty girls run. As I do, I’m struck by an obvious thought: One generation takes over from the next. This is how things are handed over in this world, so I don’t feel so bad if they pass me. These girls have their own pace, their own sense of time. And I have my own pace, my own sense of time. The two are completely different, but that’s the way it should be. ~ Haruki Murakami, #NFDB
702:The flat tire that threw Julio into a temporary panic and the divorce that almost killed Jim don’t act directly as physical causes producing a physical effect—as, for instance, one billiard ball hitting another and making it carom in a predictable direction. The outside event appears in consciousness purely as information, without necessarily having a positive or negative value attached to it. It is the self that interprets that raw information in the context of its own interests, and determines whether it is harmful or not. For instance, if Julio had had more money or some credit, his problem would have been perfectly innocuous. If in the past he had invested more psychic energy in making friends on the job, the flat tire would not have created panic, because he could have always asked one of his co-workers to give him a ride for a few days. And if he had had a stronger sense of self-confidence, the temporary setback would not have affected him as much because he would have trusted his ability to overcome it eventually. Similarly, if Jim had been more independent, the divorce would not have affected him as deeply. But at his age his goals must have still been bound up too closely with those of his mother and father, so that the split between them also split his sense of self. Had he had closer friends or a longer record of goals successfully achieved, his self would have had the strength to maintain its integrity. He was lucky that after the breakdown his parents realized the predicament and sought help for themselves and their son, reestablishing a stable enough relationship with Jim to allow him to go on with the task of building a sturdy self. Every piece of information we process gets evaluated for its bearing on the self. Does it threaten our goals, does it support them, or is it neutral? News of the fall of the stock market will upset the banker, but it might reinforce the sense of self of the political activist. A new piece of information will either create disorder in consciousness, by getting us all worked up to face the threat, or it will reinforce our goals, thereby freeing up psychic energy. ~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, #NFDB
703:DON’T BE RULED BY HIDDEN FAULTS AND WILLFUL SIN But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression (Psalm 19:12-13). David’s prayer was simple and to the point, “Don’t let hidden faults and willful sins rule over me.” I suspect this is a prayer we all need to pray. When we ask God to forgive hidden faults and willful sins, what do you think God will do? Do you think God will turn a blind eye, or simply say, “Forget about it?” I have discovered God does not operate that way. His method is usually to send a circumstance or a person to point out and highlight what we have done. God will cleanse us, but first He must open up the secret places. “Forgive my hidden faults.” What is a hidden fault? A hidden fault is something that may be hidden to us but not to others. The psalmist puts it this way, “But who can discern their own errors?” Those around us can see them plainly. Happy are the people who have someone in their lives not afraid to point out things that we are too blind to see. “Keep your servant also from willful sins.” What are willful sins? To do anything “willful” is an act of presumption and activity that stems from pride. What David is really saying, “Lord, help me to realize that without You I can do nothing.” As one writer states: “Willful sins are those in which you are confident that you have what it takes to do what God wants. A prideful self-confidence is presumption, and God never asked us to do anything on that basis.”6 David’s desire was to be blameless and innocent of any and all transgression. He realized for that to happen, his hidden faults and willful sins must be dealt with. He opened up his heart and allowed the Spirit of God to expose whatever was inside and discern anything that might hinder his fellowship with God. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Father, give me a teachable spirit, and show me through Your Word how to be continually free from hidden faults and willful sins. Amen! ~ Paul Tsika, #NFDB
704:As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”! ~ Charlie Chaplin,#NFDB
705:It was all so very businesslike that one watched it fascinated. It was porkmaking by machinery, porkmaking by applied mathematics. And yet somehow the most matter-of-fact person could not help thinking of the hogs; they were so innocent, they came so very trustingly; and they were so very human in their protests—and so perfectly within their rights! They had done nothing to deserve it; and it was adding insult to injury, as the thing was done here, swinging them up in this cold-blooded, impersonal way, without a pretense of apology, without the homage of a tear. Now and then a visitor wept, to be sure; but this slaughtering machine ran on, visitors or no visitors. It was like some horrible crime committed in a dungeon, all unseen and unheeded, buried out of sight and of memory. One could not stand and watch very long without becoming philosophical, without beginning to deal in symbols and similes, and to hear the hog squeal of the universe. Was it permitted to believe that there was nowhere upon the earth, or above the earth, a heaven for hogs, where they were requited for all this suffering? Each one of these hogs was a separate creature. Some were white hogs, some were black; some were brown, some were spotted; some were old, some young; some were long and lean, some were monstrous. And each of them had an individuality of his own, a will of his own, a hope and a heart’s desire; each was full of self-confidence, of self-importance, and a sense of dignity. And trusting and strong in faith he had gone about his business, the while a black shadow hung over him and a horrid Fate waited in his pathway. Now suddenly it had swooped upon him, and had seized him by the leg. Relentless, remorseless, it was; all his protests, his screams, were nothing to it—it did its cruel will with him, as if his wishes, his feelings, had simply no existence at all; it cut his throat and watched him gasp out his life. And now was one to believe that there was nowhere a god of hogs, to whom this hog personality was precious, to whom these hog squeals and agonies had a meaning? Who would take this hog into his arms and comfort him, reward him for his work well done, and show him the meaning of his sacrifice? ~ Upton Sinclair, #NFDB
706:Optimists Optimism is normal, but some fortunate people are more optimistic than the rest of us. If you are genetically endowed with an optimistic bias, you hardly need to be told that you are a lucky person—you already feel fortunate. An optimistic attitude is largely inherited, and it is part of a general disposition for well-being, which may also include a preference for seeing the bright side of everything. If you were allowed one wish for your child, seriously consider wishing him or her optimism. Optimists are normally cheerful and happy, and therefore popular; they are resilient in adapting to failures and hardships, their chances of clinical depression are reduced, their immune system is stronger, they take better care of their health, they feel healthier than others and are in fact likely to live longer. A study of people who exaggerate their expected life span beyond actuarial predictions showed that they work longer hours, are more optimistic about their future income, are more likely to remarry after divorce (the classic “triumph of hope over experience”), and are more prone to bet on individual stocks. Of course, the blessings of optimism are offered only to individuals who are only mildly biased and who are able to “accentuate the positive” without losing track of reality. Optimistic individuals play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the political and military leaders—not average people. They got to where they are by seeking challenges and taking risks. They are talented and they have been lucky, almost certainly luckier than they acknowledge. They are probably optimistic by temperament; a survey of founders of small businesses concluded that entrepreneurs are more sanguine than midlevel managers about life in general. Their experiences of success have confirmed their faith in their judgment and in their ability to control events. Their self-confidence is reinforced by the admiration of others. This reasoning leads to a hypothesis: the people who have the greatest influence on the lives of others are likely to be optimistic and overconfident, and to take more risks than they realize. ~ Daniel Kahneman, #NFDB
707:Let's press ahead a little further by sketching out a few variations among short shorts:
ONE THRUST OF INCIDENT. (Examples: Paz,
Mishima, Shalamov, Babel, W. C. Williams.) In these short shorts the time span is extremely brief, a few hours, maybe even a few minutes: Life is grasped in symbolic compression. One might say that these short shorts constitute epiphanies (climactic moments of high grace or realization) that have been tom out of their contexts. You have to supply the contexts yourself, since if the contexts were there, they'd no longer be short shorts.
LIFE ROLLED UP. (Examples: Tolstoy's 'Alyosha the Pot,' Verga's 'The Wolf,' D. H. Lawrence's 'A Sick Collier.') In these you get the illusion of sustained narrative, since they deal with lives over an extended period of time; but actually these lives are so compressed into typicality and paradigm, the result seems very much like a single incident. Verga's 'Wolf' cannot but repeat her passions, Tolstoy's Alyosha his passivity. Themes of obsession work especially well in this kind of short short.
SNAP-SHOT OR SINGLE FRAME. (Examples: Garda Marquez, Boll, Katherine Anne Porter.) In these we have no depicted event or incident, only an interior monologue or flow of memory. A voice speaks, as it were, into the air. A mind is revealed in cross-section - and the cut is rapid. One would guess that this is the hardest kind of short short to write: There are many pitfalls such as tiresome repetition, being locked into a single voice, etc.
LIKE A FABLE. (Examples: Kafka, Keller, von Kleist, Tolstoy's 'Three Hermits.') Through its very concision, this kind of short short moves past realism. We are prodded into the fabulous, the strange, the spooky. To write this kind of fable-like short short, the writer needs a supreme self-confidence: The net of illusion can be cast only once. When we read such fable-like miniatures, we are prompted to speculate about significance, teased into shadowy parallels or semi allegories. There are also, however, some fables so beautifully complete (for instance Kafka's 'First Sorrow') that we find ourselves entirely content with the portrayed surface and may even take a certain pleasure in refusing interpretation.
("Introduction") ~ Irving Howe,#NFDB
708:Marriage is a paradox second only to life itself. That at the age of twenty or so, with little knowledge of each other and a dangerous overdose of self-confidence, two human beings should undertake to commit themselves for life – and that church and state should receive their vows with a straight face – all this is absurd indeed. And it is tolerable only if it is reveled in as such. A pox on all the neat little explanations as to why it is reasonable that two teenagers should be bound to each other until death. It is not reasonable. It happens to be true to life, but it remains absurd. Down with the books that moralize reasonably on the subject of why divorce is wrong. Divorce is not a wrong; it is a metaphysical impossibility. It is an attempt to do something about life rather than with it - to work out the square root of –I rather than to use it.
Up with the absurdity of marriage then. Let the peasant rejoice. He is a very odd ball on a very odd pool table, and his marriage is one of the few things left to him that will roll properly in this game. And up with the marriage service. Let the peasant go back and read it while he rejoices - preferably in the old unbowdlerized version still used by the Church of England. It is full of death and cast iron. And it is one of the great remaining sanity markers. The world is going mad because it has too many reasonable options, and not enough interest or nerve to choose anything for good. In such a world, the marriage service is not reasonable, but it is sane; which is quite another matter. The lunatic lives in a world of reason, and he goes mad without making sense; it is precisely paradox that keeps the rest of us sane. To be born, to love a woman, to cry at music, to catch a cold, to die – these are not excursions on the narrow road of logic; they are blind launchings on a trackless sea. They are not bargains, they are commitments, and for ordinary people, marriage is the very keel of their commitment, the largest piece of ballast in their small and storm-tossed boat. Its unqualified hurling of two people into their deathbead is absurd, but so is the rest of that welter of unqualified hurlings we call life. You cannot contract out of being born, out of crying, out of loving, out of dying; you cannot contract out of marriage. It may be uncomfortable, it certainly is absurd; but it is not abnormal. ~ Robert Farrar Capon,#NFDB
709:To believe that you can be captain of your own life is to suffer the sin of pride. What is pride? These days the word “pride” has positive connotations. It means feeling good about yourself and the things associated with you. When we use it negatively, we think of the arrogant person, someone who is puffed up and egotistical, boasting and strutting about. But that is not really the core of pride. That is just one way the disease of pride presents itself. By another definition, pride is building your happiness around your accomplishments, using your work as the measure of your worth. It is believing that you can arrive at fulfillment on your own, driven by your own individual efforts. Pride can come in bloated form. This is the puffed-up Donald Trump style of pride. This person wants people to see visible proof of his superiority. He wants to be on the VIP list. In conversation, he boasts, he brags. He needs to see his superiority reflected in other people’s eyes. He believes that this feeling of superiority will eventually bring him peace. That version is familiar. But there are other proud people who have low self-esteem. They feel they haven’t lived up to their potential. They feel unworthy. They want to hide and disappear, to fade into the background and nurse their own hurts. We don’t associate them with pride, but they are still, at root, suffering from the same disease. They are still yoking happiness to accomplishment; it’s just that they are giving themselves a D– rather than an A+. They tend to be just as solipsistic, and in their own way as self-centered, only in a self-pitying and isolating way rather than in an assertive and bragging way. One key paradox of pride is that it often combines extreme self-confidence with extreme anxiety. The proud person often appears self-sufficient and egotistical but is really touchy and unstable. The proud person tries to establish self-worth by winning a great reputation, but of course this makes him utterly dependent on the gossipy and unstable crowd for his own identity. The proud person is competitive. But there are always other people who might do better. The most ruthlessly competitive person in the contest sets the standard that all else must meet or get left behind. Everybody else has to be just as monomaniacally driven to success. One can never be secure. As Dante put it, the “ardor to outshine / Burned in my bosom with a kind of rage. ~ David Brooks, #NFDB
710:Perhaps her abruptness was merely part of her personality, for she had the appearance of the worst kind of bureaucrat, the aspiring one, from blunt, square haircut to blunt, clean fingernails to blunt, efficient pumps. But perhaps it was me, still morally disoriented from the crapulent major’s death, as well as the apparition of his severed head at the wedding banquet. The emotional residue of that night was like a drop of arsenic falling into the still waters of my soul, nothing having changed from the taste of it but everything now tainted. So perhaps that was why when I crossed over the threshold into the marble foyer, I instantly suspected that the cause of her behavior was my race. What she saw when she looked at me must have been my yellowness, my slightly smaller eyes, and the shadow cast by the ill fame of the Oriental’s genitals, those supposedly minuscule privates disparaged on many a public restroom wall by semiliterates. I might have been just half an Asian, but in America it was all or nothing when it came to race. You were either white or you weren’t. Funnily enough, I had never felt inferior because of my race during my foreign student days. I was foreign by definition and therefore was treated as a guest. But now, even though I was a card-carrying American with a driver’s license, Social Security card, and resident alien permit, Violet still considered me as foreign, and this misrecognition punctured the smooth skin of my self-confidence. Was I just being paranoid, that all-American characteristic? Maybe Violet was stricken with colorblindness, the willful inability to distinguish between white and any other color, the only infirmity Americans wished for themselves. But as she advanced along the polished bamboo floors, steering clear of the dusky maid vacuuming a Turkish rug, I just knew it could not be so. The flawlessness of my English did not matter. Even if she could hear me, she still saw right through me, or perhaps saw someone else instead of me, her retinas burned with the images of all the castrati dreamed up by Hollywood to steal the place of real Asian men. Here I speak of those cartoons named Fu Manchu, Charlie Chan, Number One Son, Hop Sing—Hop Sing!—and the bucktoothed, bespectacled Jap not so much played as mocked by Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The performance was so insulting it even deflated my fetish for Audrey Hepburn, understanding as I did her implicit endorsement of such loathsomeness. ~ Viet Thanh Nguyen, #NFDB
711:That is why the second coming of the Lord is not only salvation, not only the omega that sets everything right, but also judgment. Indeed at this stage we can actually define the meaning of the talk of judgment. It means precisely this, that the final stage of the world is not the result of a natural current but the result of responsibility that is grounded in freedom. This must be regarded as the key to understanding why the New Testament clings fast, in spite of its message of grace, to the assertion that at the end men are judged "by their works" and that no one can escape giving an account of the way he has lived his life. There is a freedom that is not cancelled out even by grace and, indeed, is brought by it face to face with itself: man's final fate is not forced upon him regardless of the decisions he has made in his life. This assertion is in any case also necessary in order to draw the line between faith and false dogmatism or a false Christian self-confidence. This line alone confirms the equality of men by confirming the identity of their responsibility. ...
Perhaps in the last analysis it is impossible to escape a paradox whose logic is completely disclosed only to the experience of a life based on faith. Anyone who entrusts himself to a life of faith becomes aware that both exist: the radical character of grace that frees helpless man and,no less, the abiding seriousness of the responsibility that summons man day after day. Both together mean that the Christian enjoys, on the one hand, the liberating, detached tranquility of him who lives on that excess of divine justice known as Jesus Christ. ... This is the source of a profound freedom, a knowledge of God's unrepentant love; he sees through all our errors and remains well disposed to us. ... At the same time, the Christian knows, however, that he is not free to do whatever he pleases, that his activity is not a game that God allows him and does not take seriously. He knows that he must answer for his actions, that he owes an account as a steward of what has been entrusted to him. There can only be responsibility where there is someone to be responsible to, someone to put the questions. Faith in the Last Judgment holds this questioning of our life over our heads so that we cannot forget it for a moment. Nothing and no one empowers us to trivialize the tremendous seriousness involved in such knowledge; it shows our life to be a serious business and precisely by doing so gives it its dignity. ~ Benedict XVI,#NFDB
712:We shouldn't let our envy of distinguished masters of the arts distract us from the wonder of how each of us gets new ideas. Perhaps we hold on to our superstitions about creativity in order to make our own deficiencies seem more excusable. For when we tell ourselves that masterful abilities are simply unexplainable, we're also comforting ourselves by saying that those superheroes come endowed with all the qualities we don't possess. Our failures are therefore no fault of our own, nor are those heroes' virtues to their credit, either. If it isn't learned, it isn't earned.
When we actually meet the heroes whom our culture views as great, we don't find any singular propensities––only combinations of ingredients quite common in themselves. Most of these heroes are intensely motivated, but so are many other people. They're usually very proficient in some field--but in itself we simply call this craftmanship or expertise. They often have enough self-confidence to stand up to the scorn of peers--but in itself, we might just call that stubbornness. They surely think of things in some novel ways, but so does everyone from time to time. And as for what we call "intelligence", my view is that each person who can speak coherently already has the better part of what our heroes have. Then what makes genius appear to stand apart, if we each have most of what it takes?
I suspect that genius needs one thing more: in order to accumulate outstanding qualities, one needs unusually effective ways to learn. It's not enough to learn a lot; one also has to manage what one learns. Those masters have, beneath the surface of their mastery, some special knacks of "higher-order" expertise, which help them organize and apply the things they learn. It is those hidden tricks of mental management that produce the systems that create those works of genius. Why do certain people learn so many more and better skills? These all-important differences could begin with early accidents. One child works out clever ways to arrange some blocks in rows and stacks; a second child plays at rearranging how it thinks. Everyone can praise the first child's castles and towers, but no one can see what the second child has done, and one may even get the false impression of a lack of industry. But if the second child persists in seeking better ways to learn, this can lead to silent growth in which some better ways to learn may lead to better ways to learn to learn. Then, later, we'll observe an awesome, qualitative change, with no apparent cause--and give to it some empty name like talent, aptitude, or gift. ~ Marvin Minsky,#NFDB
713:To sum up—what can you do now to build up your self-confidence? Following are ten simple, workable rules for overcoming inadequacy attitudes and learning to practice faith. Thousands have used these rules, reporting successful results. Undertake this program and you, too, will build up confidence in your powers. You, too, will have a new feeling of power. 1. Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop this picture. Never think of yourself as failing; never doubt the reality of the mental image. That is most dangerous, for the mind always tries to complete what it pictures. So always picture “success” no matter how badly things seem to be going at the moment. 2. Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal powers comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out. 3. Do not built up obstacles in your imagination. Depreciate every so-called obstacle. Minimize them. Difficulties must be studied and efficiently dealt with to be eliminated, but they must be seen for only what they are. They must not be inflated by fear thoughts. 4. Do not be awestruck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as YOU can. Remember also that most people, despite their confident appearance and demeanor, are often as scared as you are and as doubtful of themselves. 5. Ten times a day repeat these dynamic words, “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) (Stop reading and repeat them NOW slowly and confidently.) 6. Get a competent counselor to help you understand why you do what you do. Learn the origin of your inferiority and self-doubt feelings which often begin in childhood. Self-knowledge leads to a cure. 7. Ten times each day practice the following affirmation, repeating it out loud if possible. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13) Repeat those words NOW. That magic statement is the most powerful antidote on earth to inferiority thoughts. 8. Make a true estimate of your own ability, then raise it 10 per cent. Do not become egotistical, but develop a wholesome self-respect. Believe in your own God-released powers. 9. Put yourself in God’s hands. To do that simply state, “I am in God’s hands.” Then believe you are NOW receiving all the power you need. “Feel” it flowing into you. Affirm that “the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21) in the form of adequate power to meet life’s demands. 10. Remind yourself that God is with you and nothing can defeat you. Believe that you now RECEIVE power from him. ~ Anonymous, #NFDB
714:When they bombed Hiroshima, the explosion formed a mini-supernova, so every living animal, human or plant that received direct contact with the rays from that sun was instantly turned to ash.
And what was left of the city soon followed. The long-lasting damage of nuclear radiation caused an entire city and its population to turn into powder.
When I was born, my mom says I looked around the whole hospital room with a stare that said, "This? I've done this before." She says I have old eyes.
When my Grandpa Genji died, I was only five years old, but I took my mom by the hand and told her, "Don't worry, he'll come back as a baby."
And yet, for someone who's apparently done this already, I still haven't figured anything out yet.
My knees still buckle every time I get on a stage. My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth.
But in Hiroshima, some people were wiped clean away, leaving only a wristwatch or a diary page. So no matter that I have inhibitions to fill all my pockets, I keep trying, hoping that one day I'll write a poem I can be proud to let sit in a museum exhibit as the only proof I existed.
My parents named me Sarah, which is a biblical name. In the original story God told Sarah she could do something impossible and she laughed, because the first Sarah, she didn't know what to do with impossible.
And me? Well, neither do I, but I see the impossible every day. Impossible is trying to connect in this world, trying to hold onto others while things are blowing up around you, knowing that while you're speaking, they aren't just waiting for their turn to talk -- they hear you. They feel exactly what you feel at the same time that you feel it. It's what I strive for every time I open my mouth -- that impossible connection.
There's this piece of wall in Hiroshima that was completely burnt black by the radiation. But on the front step, a person who was sitting there blocked the rays from hitting the stone. The only thing left now is a permanent shadow of positive light. After the A bomb, specialists said it would take 75 years for the radiation damaged soil of Hiroshima City to ever grow anything again. But that spring, there were new buds popping up from the earth.
When I meet you, in that moment, I'm no longer a part of your future. I start quickly becoming part of your past. But in that instant, I get to share your present. And you, you get to share mine. And that is the greatest present of all.
So if you tell me I can do the impossible, I'll probably laugh at you. I don't know if I can change the world yet, because I don't know that much about it -- and I don't know that much about reincarnation either, but if you make me laugh hard enough, sometimes I forget what century I'm in.
This isn't my first time here. This isn't my last time here. These aren't the last words I'll share.
But just in case, I'm trying my hardest to get it right this time around. ~ Sarah Kay,#NFDB
715:Having proven that solitary pleasures are as delicious as any others and much more likely to delight, it becomes perfectly clear that this enjoyment, taken in independence of the objectwe employ, is not merely of a nature very remote from what could be pleasurable to thatobject, but is even found to be inimical to that object’s pleasure: what is more, it may becomean imposed suffering, a vexation, or a torture, and the only thing that results from this abuse isa very certain increase of pleasure for the despot who does the tormenting or vexing; let usattempt to demonstrate this.”Voluptuous emotion is nothing but a kind of vibration produced in our soul by shockswhich the imagination, inflamed by the remembrance of a lubricious object, registers uponour senses, either through this object’s presence, or better still by this object’s being exposedto that particular kind of irritation which most profoundly stirs us; thus, our voluptuoustransport Ä this indescribable convulsive needling which drives us wild, which lifts us to thehighest pitch of happiness at which man is able to arrive Ä is never ignited save by twocauses: either by the perception in the object we use of a real or imaginary beauty, the beautyin which we delight the most, or by the sight of that object undergoing the strongest possiblesensation; now, there is no more lively sensation than that of pain; its impressions are certainand dependable, they never deceive as may those of the pleasure women perpetually feign andalmost never experience; and, furthermore, how much self-confidence, youth, vigor, healthare not needed in order to be sure of producing this dubious and hardly very satisfyingimpression of pleasure in a woman. To produce the painful impression, on the contrary,requires no virtues at all: the more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable,the more resounding his success. With what regards the objective, it will be far more certainlyattained since we are establishing the fact that one never better touches, I wish to say, that onenever better irritates one’s senses than when the greatest possible impression has been produced in the employed object, by no matter what devices; therefore, he who will cause themost tumultuous impression to be born in a woman, he who will most thoroughly convulsethis woman’s entire frame, very decidedly will have managed to procure himself the heaviest possible dose of voluptuousness, because the shock resultant upon us by the impressionsothers experience, which shock in turn is necessitated by the impression we have of thoseothers, will necessarily be more vigorous if the impression these others receive be painful,than if the impression they receive be sweet and mild; and it follows that the voluptuousegoist, who is persuaded his pleasures will be keen only insofar as they are entire, willtherefore impose, when he has it in his power to do so, the strongest possible dose of painupon the employed object, fully certain that what by way of voluptuous pleasure he extractswill be his only by dint of the very lively impression he has produced. ~ Marquis de Sade, #NFDB
716:Cixi’s lack of formal education was more than made up for by her intuitive intelligence, which she liked to use from her earliest years. In 1843, when she was seven, the empire had just finished its first war with the West, the Opium War, which had been started by Britain in reaction to Beijing clamping down on the illegal opium trade conducted by British merchants. China was defeated and had to pay a hefty indemnity.
Desperate for funds, Emperor Daoguang (father of Cixi’s future husband) held back the traditional presents for his sons’ brides – gold necklaces with corals and pearls – and vetoed elaborate banquets for their weddings. New Year and birthday celebrations were scaled down, even cancelled, and minor royal concubines had to subsidise their reduced allowances by selling their embroidery on the market through eunuchs. The emperor himself even went on surprise raids of his concubines’ wardrobes, to check whether they were hiding extravagant clothes against his orders. As part of a determined drive to stamp out theft by officials, an investigation was conducted of the state coffer, which revealed that more “than nine million taels of silver had gone missing.
Furious, the emperor ordered all the senior keepers and inspectors of the silver reserve for the previous forty-four years to pay fines to make up the loss – whether or not they were guilty.
Cixi’s great-grandfather had served as one of the keepers and his share of the fine amounted to 43,200 taels – a colossal sum, next to which his official salary had been a pittance. As he had died a long time ago, his son, Cixi’s grandfather, was obliged to pay half the sum, even though he worked in the Ministry of Punishments and had nothing to do with the state coffer. After three years of futile struggle to raise money, he only managed to hand over 1,800 taels, and an edict signed by the emperor confined him to prison, only to be released if and when his son, Cixi’s father, delivered the balance.
The life of the family was turned upside down. Cixi, then eleven years old, had to take in sewing jobs to earn extra money – which she would remember all her life and would later talk about to her ladies-in-waiting in the court. “As she was the eldest of two daughters and three sons, her father discussed the matter with her, and she rose to the occasion. Her ideas were carefully considered and practical: what possessions to sell, what valuables to pawn, whom to turn to for loans and how to approach them. Finally, the family raised 60 per cent of the sum, enough to get her grandfather out of prison. The young Cixi’s contribution to solving the crisis became a family legend, and her father paid her the ultimate compliment: ‘This daughter of mine is really more like a son!’
Treated like a son, Cixi was able to talk to her father about things that were normally closed areas for women. Inevitably their conversations touched on official business and state affairs, which helped form Cixi’s lifelong interest. Being consulted and having her views acted on, she acquired self-confidence and never accepted the com“common assumption that women’s brains were inferior to men’s. The crisis also helped shape her future method of rule. Having tasted the bitterness of arbitrary punishment, she would make an effort to be fair to her officials. ~ Jung Chang,#NFDB
717:The problem, Augustine came to believe, is that if you think you can organize your own salvation you are magnifying the very sin that keeps you from it. To believe that you can be captain of your own life is to suffer the sin of pride. What is pride? These days the word “pride” has positive connotations. It means feeling good about yourself and the things associated with you. When we use it negatively, we think of the arrogant person, someone who is puffed up and egotistical, boasting and strutting about. But that is not really the core of pride. That is just one way the disease of pride presents itself. By another definition, pride is building your happiness around your accomplishments, using your work as the measure of your worth. It is believing that you can arrive at fulfillment on your own, driven by your own individual efforts. Pride can come in bloated form. This is the puffed-up Donald Trump style of pride. This person wants people to see visible proof of his superiority. He wants to be on the VIP list. In conversation, he boasts, he brags. He needs to see his superiority reflected in other people’s eyes. He believes that this feeling of superiority will eventually bring him peace. That version is familiar. But there are other proud people who have low self-esteem. They feel they haven’t lived up to their potential. They feel unworthy. They want to hide and disappear, to fade into the background and nurse their own hurts. We don’t associate them with pride, but they are still, at root, suffering from the same disease. They are still yoking happiness to accomplishment; it’s just that they are giving themselves a D– rather than an A+. They tend to be just as solipsistic, and in their own way as self-centered, only in a self-pitying and isolating way rather than in an assertive and bragging way. One key paradox of pride is that it often combines extreme self-confidence with extreme anxiety. The proud person often appears self-sufficient and egotistical but is really touchy and unstable. The proud person tries to establish self-worth by winning a great reputation, but of course this makes him utterly dependent on the gossipy and unstable crowd for his own identity. The proud person is competitive. But there are always other people who might do better. The most ruthlessly competitive person in the contest sets the standard that all else must meet or get left behind. Everybody else has to be just as monomaniacally driven to success. One can never be secure. As Dante put it, the “ardor to outshine / Burned in my bosom with a kind of rage.” Hungry for exaltation, the proud person has a tendency to make himself ridiculous. Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb-over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name-dropping stories that inspire nobody. Every proud man, Augustine writes, “heeds himself, and he who pleases himself seems great to himself. But he who pleases himself pleases a fool, for he himself is a fool when he is pleasing himself.”16 Pride, the minister and writer Tim Keller has observed, is unstable because other people are absentmindedly or intentionally treating the proud man’s ego with less reverence than he thinks it deserves. He continually finds that his feelings are hurt. He is perpetually putting up a front. The self-cultivator spends more energy trying to display the fact that he is happy—posting highlight reel Facebook photos and all the rest—than he does actually being happy. Augustine suddenly came to realize that the solution to his problem would come only after a transformation more fundamental than any he had previously entertained, a renunciation of the very idea that he could be the source of his own solution. ~ David Brooks, #NFDB
718:The Angel In The House. Book I. Canto Ii.
Preludes.
I The Paragon
When I behold the skies aloft
Passing the pageantry of dreams,
The cloud whose bosom, cygnet-soft,
A couch for nuptial Juno seems,
The ocean broad, the mountains bright,
The shadowy vales with feeding herds,
I from my lyre the music smite,
Nor want for justly matching words.
All forces of the sea and air,
All interests of hill and plain,
I so can sing, in seasons fair,
That who hath felt may feel again.
Elated oft by such free songs,
I think with utterance free to raise
That hymn for which the whole world longs,
A worthy hymn in woman's praise;
A hymn bright-noted like a bird's,
Arousing these song-sleepy times
With rhapsodies of perfect words,
Ruled by returning kiss of rhymes.
But when I look on her and hope
To tell with joy what I admire,
My thoughts lie cramp'd in narrow scope,
Or in the feeble birth expire;
No mystery of well-woven speech,
No simplest phrase of tenderest fall,
No liken'd excellence can reach
Her, the most excellent of all,
The best half of creation's best,
Its heart to feel, its eye to see,
The crown and complex of the rest,
Its aim and its epitome.
Nay, might I utter my conceit,
'Twere after all a vulgar song,
For she's so simply, subtly sweet,
My deepest rapture does her wrong.
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Yet is it now my chosen task
To sing her worth as Maid and Wife;
Nor happier post than this I ask,
To live her laureate all my life.
On wings of love uplifted free,
And by her gentleness made great,
I'll teach how noble man should be
To match with such a lovely mate;
And then in her may move the more
The woman's wish to be desired,
(By praise increased), till both shall soar,
With blissful emulations fired.
And, as geranium, pink, or rose
Is thrice itself through power of art,
So may my happy skill disclose
New fairness even in her fair heart;
Until that churl shall nowhere be
Who bends not, awed, before the throne
Of her affecting majesty,
So meek, so far unlike our own;
Until (for who may hope too much
From her who wields the powers of love?)
Our lifted lives at last shall touch
That happy goal to which they move;
Until we find, as darkness rolls
Away, and evil mists dissolve,
The nuptial contrasts are the poles
On which the heavenly spheres revolve.
II Love at Large
Whene'er I come where ladies are,
How sad soever I was before,
Though like a ship frost-bound and far
Withheld in ice from the ocean's roar,
Third-winter'd in that dreadful dock,
With stiffen'd cordage, sails decay'd,
And crew that care for calm and shock
Alike, too dull to be dismay'd,
Yet, if I come where ladies are,
How sad soever I was before,
Then is my sadness banish'd far,
And I am like that ship no more;
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Or like that ship if the ice-field splits,
Burst by the sudden polar Spring,
And all thank God with their warming wits,
And kiss each other and dance and sing,
And hoist fresh sails, that make the breeze
Blow them along the liquid sea,
Out of the North, where life did freeze,
Into the haven where they would be.
III Love and Duty
Anne lived so truly from above,
She was so gentle and so good,
That duty bade me fall in love,
And ‘but for that,’ thought I, ‘I should!’
I worshipp'd Kate with all my will.
In idle moods you seem to see
A noble spirit in a hill,
A human touch about a tree.
IV A Distinction
The lack of lovely pride, in her
Who strives to please, my pleasure numbs,
And still the maid I most prefer
Whose care to please with pleasing comes.
Mary And Mildred.
One morning, after Church, I walk'd
Alone with Mary on the lawn,
And felt myself, howe'er we talk'd,
To grave themes delicately drawn.
When she delighted, found I knew
More of her peace than she supposed,
Our confidences heavenwards grew,
Like fox-glove buds, in pairs disclosed.
Our former faults did we confess,
Our ancient feud was more than heal'd.
And, with the woman's eagerness
For amity full-sign'd and seal'd,
She, offering up for sacrifice
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Her heart's reserve, brought out to show
Some verses, made when she was ice
To all but Heaven, six years ago;
Since happier grown! I took and read
The neat-writ lines. She, void of guile,
Too late repenting, blush'd, and said,
I must not think about the style.
II
‘Day after day, until to-day,
‘Imaged the others gone before,
‘The same dull task, the weary way,
‘The weakness pardon'd o'er and o'er,
‘The thwarted thirst, too faintly felt,
‘For joy's well-nigh forgotten life,
‘The restless heart, which, when I knelt,
‘Made of my worship barren strife.
‘Ah, whence to-day's so sweet release,
‘This clearance light of all my care,
‘This conscience free, this fertile peace,
‘These softly folded wings of prayer,
‘This calm and more than conquering love,
‘With which nought evil dares to cope,
‘This joy that lifts no glance above,
‘For faith too sure, too sweet for hope?
‘O, happy time, too happy change,
‘It will not live, though fondly nurst!
‘Full soon the sun will seem as strange
‘As now the cloud which seems dispersed.’
III
She from a rose-tree shook the blight;
And well she knew that I knew well
Her grace with silence to requite;
And, answering now the luncheon-bell,
I laugh'd at Mildred's laugh, which made
All melancholy wrong, its mood
Such sweet self-confidence display'd,
So glad a sense of present good.
IV
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I laugh'd and sigh'd; for I confess
I never went to Ball, or Fête,
Or Show, but in pursuit express
Of my predestinated mate;
And thus to me, who had in sight
The happy chance upon the cards,
Each beauty blossom'd in the light
Of tender personal regards;
And, in the records of my breast,
Red-letter'd, eminently fair,
Stood sixteen, who, beyond the rest,
By turns till then had been my care:
At Berlin three, one at St. Cloud,
At Chatteris, near Cambridge, one,
At Ely four, in London two,
Two at Bowness, in Paris none,
And, last and best, in Sarum three;
But dearest of the whole fair troop,
In judgment of the moment, she
Whose daisy eyes had learn'd to droop
Her very faults my fancy fired;
My loving will, so thwarted, grew;
And, bent on worship, I admired
Whate'er she was, with partial view.
And yet when, as to-day, her smile
Was prettiest, I could not but note
Honoria, less admired the while,
Was lovelier, though from love remote.
~ Coventry Patmore,#NFDB
719:The Supreme Discovery
IF WE want to progress integrally, we must build within our conscious being a strong and pure mental synthesis which can serve us as a protection against temptations from outside, as a landmark to prevent us from going astray, as a beacon to light our way across the moving ocean of life.
Each individual should build up this mental synthesis according to his own tendencies and affinities and aspirations. But if we want it to be truly living and luminous, it must be centred on the idea that is the intellectual representation symbolising That which is at the centre of our being, That which is our life and our light.
This idea, expressed in sublime words, has been taught in various forms by all the great Instructors in all lands and all ages.
The Self of each one and the great universal Self are one. Since all that is exists from all eternity in its essence and principle, why make a distinction between the being and its origin, between ourselves and what we place at the beginning?
The ancient traditions rightly said:
"Our origin and ourselves, our God and ourselves are one."
And this oneness should not be understood merely as a more or less close and intimate relationship of union, but as a true identity.
Thus, when a man who seeks the Divine attempts to reascend by degrees towards the inaccessible, he forgets that all his knowledge and all his intuition cannot take him one step forward in this infinite; neither does he know that what he wants to attain, what he believes to be so far from him, is within him.
For how could he know anything of the origin until he becomes conscious of this origin in himself?
It is by understanding himself, by learning to know himself, that he can make the supreme discovery and cry out in wonder like the patriarch in the Bible, "The house of God is here and I knew it not."
That is why we must express that sublime thought, creatrix of the material worlds, and make known to all the word that fills the heavens and the earth, "I am in all things and all beings."When all shall know this, the promised day of great transfigurations will be at hand. When in each atom of Matter men shall recognise the indwelling thought of God, when in each living creature they shall perceive some hint of a gesture of God, when each man can see God in his brother, then dawn will break, dispelling the darkness, the falsehood, the ignorance, the error and suffering that weigh upon all Nature. For, "all Nature suffers and laments as she awaits the revelation of the Sons of God."
This indeed is the central thought epitomising all others, the thought which should be ever present to our remembrance as the sun that illumines all life.
That is why I remind you of it today. For if we follow our path bearing this thought in our hearts like the rarest jewel, the most precious treasure, if we allow it to do its work of illumination and transfiguration within us, we shall know that it lives in the centre of all beings and all things, and in it we shall feel the marvellous oneness of the universe.
Then we shall understand the vanity and childishness of our meagre satisfactions, our foolish quarrels, our petty passions, our blind indignations. We shall see the dissolution of our little faults, the crumbling of the last entrenchments of our limited personality and our obtuse egoism. We shall feel ourselves being swept along by this sublime current of true spirituality which will deliver us from our narrow limits and bounds.
The individual Self and the universal Self are one; in every world, in every being, in every thing, in every atom is the Divine Presence, and man's mission is to manifest it.
In order to do that, he must become conscious of this Divine Presence within him. Some individuals must undergo a real apprenticeship in order to achieve this: their egoistic being is too all-absorbing, too rigid, too conservative, and their struggles against it are long and painful. Others, on the contrary, who are more impersonal, more plastic, more spiritualised, come easily into contact with the inexhaustible divine source of their being.But let us not forget that they too should devote themselves daily, constantly, to a methodical effort of adaptation and transformation, so that nothing within them may ever again obscure the radiance of that pure light.
But how greatly the standpoint changes once we attain this deeper consciousness! How understanding widens, how compassion grows!
On this a sage has said:
"I would like each one of us to come to the point where he perceives the inner God who dwells even in the vilest of human beings; instead of condemning him we would say, 'Arise, O resplendent Being, thou who art ever pure, who knowest neither birth nor death; arise, Almighty One, and manifest thy nature.'"
Let us live by this beautiful utterance and we shall see everything around us transformed as if by miracle.
This is the attitude of true, conscious and discerning love, the love which knows how to see behind appearances, understand in spite of words, and which, amid all obstacles, is in constant communion with the depths.
What value have our impulses and our desires, our anguish and our violence, our sufferings and our struggles, all these inner vicissitudes unduly dramatised by our unruly imagination - what value do they have before this great, this sublime and divine love bending over us from the innermost depths of our being, bearing with our weaknesses, rectifying our errors, healing our wounds, bathing our whole being with its regenerating streams?
For the inner Godhead never imposes herself, she neither demands nor threatens; she offers and gives herself, conceals and forgets herself in the heart of all beings and things; she never accuses, she neither judges nor curses nor condemns, but works unceasingly to perfect without constraint, to mend without reproach, to encourage without impatience, to enrich each one with all the wealth he can receive; she is the mother whose love bears fruit and nourishes, guards and protects, counsels and consoles; because she understands everything, she can endure everything, excuse and pardon everything, hope and prepare for everything; bearing everything within herself, she owns nothing that does not belong to all, and because she reigns over all, she is the servant of all; that is why all, great and small, who want to be kings with her and gods in her, become, like her, not despots but servitors among their brethren.
How beautiful is this humble role of servant, the role of all who have been revealers and heralds of the God who is within all, of the Divine Love that animates all things....
And until we can follow their example and become true servants even as they, let us allow ourselves to be penetrated and transformed by this Divine Love; let us offer Him, without reserve, this marvellous instrument, our physical organism. He shall make it yield its utmost on every plane of activity.
To achieve this total self-consecration, all means are good, all methods have their value. The one thing needful is to persevere in our will to attain this goal. For then everything we study, every action we perform, every human being we meet, all come to bring us an indication, a help, a light to guide us on the path.
Before I close, I shall add a few pages for those who have already made apparently fruitless efforts, for those who have encountered the pitfalls on the way and seen the measure of their weakness, for those who are in danger of losing their self-confidence and courage. These pages, intended to rekindle hope in the hearts of those who suffer, were written by a spiritual worker at a time when ordeals of every kind were sweeping down on him like purifying flames.
You who are weary, downcast and bruised, you who fall, who think perhaps that you are defeated, hear the voice of a friend. He knows your sorrows, he has shared them, he has suffered like you from the ills of the earth; like you he has crossed many deserts under the burden of the day, he has known thirst and hunger, solitude and abandonment, and the cruellest of all wants, the destitution of the heart. Alas! he has known too the hours of doubt, the errors, the faults, the failings, every weakness.
But he tells you: Courage! Hearken to the lesson that the rising sun brings to the earth with its first rays each morning. It is a lesson of hope, a message of solace.
You who weep, who suffer and tremble, who dare not expect an end to your ills, an issue to your pangs, behold: there is no night without dawn and the day is about to break when darkness is thickest; there is no mist that the sun does not dispel, no cloud that it does not gild, no tear that it will not dry one day, no storm that is not followed by its shining triumphant bow; there is no snow that it does not melt, nor winter that it does not change into radiant spring.
And for you too, there is no affliction which does not bring its measure of glory, no distress which cannot be transformed into joy, nor defeat into victory, nor downfall into higher ascension, nor solitude into radiating centre of life, nor discord into harmony - sometimes it is a misunderstanding between two minds that compels two hearts to open to mutual communion; lastly, there is no infinite weakness that cannot be changed into strength. And it is even in supreme weakness that almightiness chooses to reveal itself!
Listen, my little child, you who today feel so broken, so fallen perhaps, who have nothing left, nothing to cover your misery and foster your pride: never before have you been so great! How close to the summits is he who awakens in the depths, for the deeper the abyss, the more the heights reveal themselves!
Do you not know this, that the most sublime forces of the vasts seek to array themselves in the most opaque veils of Matter? Oh, the sublime nuptials of sovereign love with the obscurest plasticities, of the shadow's yearning with the most royal light!
If ordeal or fault has cast you down, if you have sunk into the nether depths of suffering, do not grieve - for there indeed the divine love and the supreme blessing can reach you! Because you have passed through the crucible of purifying sorrows, the glorious ascents are yours.
You are in the wilderness: then listen to the voices of the silence. The clamour of flattering words and outer applause has gladdened your ears, but the voices of the silence will gladden your soul and awaken within you the echo of the depths, the chant of divine harmonies!
You are walking in the depths of night: then gather the priceless treasures of the night. In bright sunshine, the ways of intelligence are lit, but in the white luminosities of the night lie the hidden paths of perfection, the secret of spiritual riches.
You are being stripped of everything: that is the way towards plenitude. When you have nothing left, everything will be given to you. Because for those who are sincere and true, from the worst always comes the best.
Every grain that is sown in the earth produces a thousand. Every wing-beat of sorrow can be a soaring towards glory.
And when the adversary pursues man relentlessly, everything he does to destroy him only makes him greater.
Hear the story of the worlds, look: the great enemy seems to triumph. He casts the beings of light into the night, and the night is filled with stars. He rages against the cosmic working, he assails the integrity of the empire of the sphere, shatters its harmony, divides and subdivides it, scatters its dust to the four winds of infinity, and lo! the dust is changed into a golden seed, fertilising the infinite and peopling it with worlds which now gravitate around their eternal centre in the larger orbit of space - so that even division creates a richer and deeper unity, and by multiplying the surfaces of the material universe, enlarges the empire that it set out to destroy.
Beautiful indeed was the song of the primordial sphere cradled in the bosom of immensity, but how much more beautiful and triumphant is the symphony of the constellations, the music of the spheres, the immense choir that fills the heavens with an eternal hymn of victory!
Hear again: no state was ever more precarious than that of man when he was separated on earth from his divine origin. Above him stretched the hostile borders of the usurper, and at his horizon's gates watched jailers armed with flaming swords. Then, since he could climb no more to the source of life, the source arose within him; since he could no more receive the light from above, the light shone forth at the very centre of his being; since he could commune no more with the transcendent love, that love offered itself in a holocaust and chose each terrestrial being, each human self as its dwelling-place and sanctuary.
That is how, in this despised and desolate but fruitful and blessed Matter, each atom contains a divine thought, each being carries within him the Divine Inhabitant. And if no being in all the universe is as frail as man, neither is any as divine as he!
In truth, in truth, in humiliation lies the cradle of glory! 28 April 1912 ~ The Mother, Words Of Long Ago, The Supreme Discovery,#NFDB
27 Integral Yoga
7 Occultism
3 Psychology
2 Philosophy
2 Christianity
1 Education
17 Sri Aurobindo
9 Nolini Kanta Gupta
8 The Mother
4 Aleister Crowley
3 Carl Jung
2 Satprem
2 A B Purani
4 The Synthesis Of Yoga
4 Record of Yoga
3 Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 01
2 Words Of Long Ago
2 The Human Cycle
2 Magick Without Tears
2 Liber ABA
2 Letters On Yoga IV
2 Evening Talks With Sri Aurobindo
2 Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 07
2 Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 03
0 1961-02-18, #Agenda Vol 02, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
It has given the physical consciousness a certain Self-Confidence in the sense that when I see something now, I am sure of it, there are no hesitations: Is this right or not? Is this true, is this.All that has vanishedwhen I see, there is certainty. That is, there has really been a great change in the material CONSCIOUSNESS; but that formidable power is not there. I tell you, had that power stayed here, had I remained constantly as I was during those hours that night, well, many things would obviously have changed.
All this must be a preparation; there is a lot to be cleared out before the experience can be firmly established. Thats logical, it is quite natural.
0 1967-08-02, #Agenda Vol 08, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
One certainly sees that: with those who are the very opposite, who grovel on the ground, there is no stuff, you cant do anything with them; so you have to try and give them a little Self-Confidence. But thats nothing. While with those others you can do something, but oh, they become furious with you!
The contact with the great Asuras, the first Asuras, is like that: the full consciousness of their formidable power, their marvellous capacities they forget one thing, its that they deserve no credit for it, its not their exclusive property! So they cut the connection and become instruments of disorder and confusion.
03.10 - Hamlet: A Crisis of the Evolving Soul, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 01, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
The crisis in Hamlet reminds us of another somewhat similar one, that is the basis and starting-point of the great episode in the Mahabharata the Gita. Arjuna, the ideal hero and man of action, in absolute Self-Confidence and certitude, with no doubt or hesitation about anything in the world, advances into the very thick of the bloody strife and lo! all is changed as with a magic wand! What was to him a moment before a clear duty, an evident act of righteousness, the noblest of deeds, now appears nothing less than an inglorious slaughter. The bow of victory slips from the hand of the mighty warrior and, all nerve and tremor, he sinks down in gloom and dejection and complete confusion.
Arjuna tided over the crisis as he could avail himself of the knowledge of the way out and the necessary help that was given by the Divine Guide. Hamlet bears the full crash of doom upon his head and makes others also share its consequences with him. At one point, however, he seemed to make just a move towards the right solution of the difficulty. He finds that the avoidance of the Evil by self-destructionwhich is a common and natural temptation in like situationsis no solution: it may lead you into a still greater evil. One has to face the evil, stand and fight it. Once this is decided, the right course for the hero (the Aryan fighter, as the Gitawould say) would be to live
05.06 - Physics or philosophy, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 01, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
Physical Science in the nineteenth century did indeed develop or presuppose a philosophy of its own; it had, that is to say, a definite outlook on the fundamental quality of things and the nature of the universe. Those were days of its youthful Self-Confidence and unbending assurance. The view was, as is well-known, materialistic and deterministic. That is to say, all observation and experiment, according to it, demonstrated and posited:
First, that this universe is made up of particles that push and pull each other, the particles having certain constant values, such as in respect of mass and volume. secondly, that the laws governing the relations among the particles, in other words, their push and pull, are laws of simple mechanics; they are fixed and definite and give us determinable and mensurable quantities called co-ordinatesby which one can ascertain the pattern or configuration of things at a given moment and deduce from that the pattern or configuration of things at any other moment: the chain that hangs things together is fixed and uniform and continuous and is not broken anywhere.
05.10 - Children and Child Mentality, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 03, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
Age sets in precisely when there is a fall in this Self-Confidence and assurance of the body consciousness, when the body begins to fear, becomes too cautious and apprehensive. A wound, a cut, even a broken limb would not stop a child normally to go forward with the same dash and carelessness. And that character is the source not only of his physical fitness and growth, but also that of a mental alacrity and soundness which is an inestimable possession of the child consciousness. The wisest teacher is he who does not teach too much the wisdom of prudence and moderation, but encourages this lan vital, the life urge, in the child and yet seeks to organise and canalise it, as an efficient instrument of high ideals and purposes.
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05.22 - Success and its Conditions, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 01, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
How is this tranquil energism to be secured? What are the conditions that produce and maintain and foster it? The first condition is Self-Confidence. One must have trust in oneself, a full faith that one is able to do the thing. A pessimist, a half-hearted doubter, a defeatist can never achieve anything in the world. All successful men, whatever share they agreed to give to chance, had always immense hope and faith. Against failures, against tremendous odds they have always persisted, always believed in their star. Like Caesar they said not only to themselves but also to others: "Thou carriest with thee the fate of Caesar." Only, of course, the Self-Confidence sometimes overrides itself, becomes conceit and arrogance. Then you go beyond your depth, tempt the fates beyond your control and open the door to failure. So along with Self-Confidence, there must be an element of sobriety; we will call it modestytrue modesty that can perceive the extreme limit at least of the possible and the impossible. Such modesty itself is a source of serenity and calmness in the mind and nerves. Imagine a lion couchant, aiming at its prey. The prey remains spellbound, unable to run away. The lion's gaze is fixed upon its victim; its hypnotism consists in a calm and absolute Self-Confidence, an unshakable assurance that its will shall prevail.
Man's Self-Confidence is, as I have said, apt to overleap itself; it turns into self-conceit and blind and obstinate complacence. An animal by instinct knows how to remain within its limits and continue to be unfailing in its judgment: it is domestic animals that begin to get muddled in their instinctive movements. With the growth of the mental self-consciousness man loses the sense of his limits and always seeks to exceed himself. And therefore failure and fall have become almost his constant companions. His efforts are not commensurate with his powers. Hence in his case modesty is a great asset and a desideratum. Modesty, we said, is the consciousness of one's limitationnot over-estimating oneself, nor for that matter under-estimating oneself: it is judging exactly what one is.
That, however, is the case with the normal man with the normal nature. But precisely because of the growth of self-consciousness, man has developed the power to increase his powers: he can extend the boundaries of his capacities and possibilities. He need not confine himself within the dimensions that he naturally possesses or acquires in the normal course of his growth. He can follow an abnormal or extraordinary course of growth, break through his limits and establish contact with the vast and the illimitable and the incalculable, even the very fount and origin- of all power. That is the gift of Yoga, spiritual discipline.
Yoga brings in a different line and scheme of life. For it is built upon soul-consciousness, upon Divine Nature which means another history of individual destiny. Even then tranquillity and Self-Confidence are at the basis of a Yogic life also and a new degree of modesty and humility.
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07.10 - Diseases and Accidents, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 03, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
There is of course a relation between the mind and the body, quite a close relation. In most cases it is the mind that makes the body ill, at least it is the most important factor in the illness. I have said, there are people who keep their mind clear although their body suffers. But it is very rare and very difficult to keep the body healthy when the mind suffers or is un-balanced. It is not impossible, but very, very exceptional. For I explained to you that it is the mind which is the master of the body, the body is an obedient and obliging servant. Unfortunately, one does not usually know how to make use of one's mind, not only so, one makes bad use of it and as bad as possible. The mind possesses a considerable power of formation and of direct action on the body. It is precisely this power which is used by people to make their body ill. As soon as there is something which does not go well, the mind begins to worry about it, makes formations of coming catastrophes, indulges in all kinds of imaginary dangers ahead. Now, instead of thus letting the mind run amuck and play havoc, if the same energy were used for a better purpose, if good formations were made, namely, giving Self-Confidence to the body, telling it that there is nothing to be anxious about, it is only a passing unease and so on, in that case, the body would be put in a right condition of receptivity and the illness pass away quietly even as it came. That is how the mind is to be taught to give good suggestions to the body and not to throw mud into it. Marvellous results follow if you do it properly.
When an accident happens there is in it a critical moment. For example, you slip and you fall. Now between the moment when you slip and the moment when you fall, there is just a fraction of a second when you are, as it were, given the choice. It can either be nothing or something very serious. Only to make the choice you must have a perfectly awakened consciousness and your being must be constantly in contact with the psychic. There is no time to bring in the contact, one must already be in contact. So, just between the slip and the fall, if the mental and psychic formation is sufficient, you come out unscathed. If, on the contrary, the body thinks, as it is its habit, Oh, I have slipped and becomes apprehensiveit is, as I say, a matter of a fraction of a second, even less then the catastrophe happens. You have the capacity to prevent an accident happening, you are given the choice at a momentary moment. But for that you must learn to be wide awake, to be fully conscious. When you are in that condition you can prevent an accident, you can stop an illness coming into you. But it is just the matter of a split second and you must not miss it.
1.00a - Introduction, #Magick Without Tears, #Aleister Crowley, #Philosophy
No, there is this factor in all success: Self-Confidence. If we analyze this, we find that it means that one is aware that all one's mental and physical faculties are working harmoniously. The deadliest and subtlest enemy of that feeling is anxiety about the result; the finest gauze of doubt is enough to dim one's vision, to throw the entire field out of focus. Hence, even to be aware that there is a result in prospect must militate against that serenity of spirit which is the essence of Self-Confidence. As you will know, all our automatic physiological functions are deranged if one is aware of This then, is the difficulty, to enjoy consciously while not disturbing the process involved. The obvious physical case is the sexual act: perhaps its chief importance is just that it is a type of this exceptional spiritual-mental condition. I hope, however, that you will remember what I have said on the subject in paragraphs 1517 of my 3rd Lecture on Yoga for Yellowbellies (pp. 71-72); there is a way of obtaining ecstacy from the most insignificant physiological function. Observe that in transferring the whole consciousness to (say) one's little finger or big toe is not trying to interfere with the normal exercise of its activities, but only to realize what is going on in the organism, the exquisite pleasure of a function in its normal activity. With a little imagination one can conceive the analogical case of the Universe itself; and, still less fettered by even the mildest limitation which material symbols necessarily (however little) suggest, "Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; ..." (AL, II, 9).
Is it too bold to suggest that the gradual merging of all these Ways into an interwoven unity may be taken as one mode of presentation of the Accomplishment of the Great Work itself?
1.01 - Meeting the Master - Authors first meeting, December 1918, #Evening Talks With Sri Aurobindo, #unset, #Zen
I bowed down to him. That day I was able to sleep soundly in the train after more than two years. And in my mind was fixed for ever the picture of that scene: the two of us standing near the small table, my earnest question, that upward gaze, and that quiet and firm voice with power in it to shake the world, that firm fist planted on the table the symbol of Self-Confidence of the divine Truth. There may be rank Kaliyuga, the Iron Age, in the whole world but it is the great good fortune of India that she has sons who know the Truth and have the unshakable faith in it, and can risk their lives for its sake. In this significant fact is contained the divine destiny of India and of the world.
After meeting Sri Aurobindo I was quite relieved of the great strain that was upon me. Now that I felt Indian freedom to be a certainty, I could participate in public movements with equanimity and with a truer spiritual attitude. I got some experiences also which confirmed my faith in Sri Aurobindo's path. I got the confident faith in a divine Power that is beyond time and space and that can and does work in the world. I came to know that any man with a sincere aspiration for it can come in contact with that Power.
10.24 - Savitri, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 04, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
But man in the strength of his ignorance and arrogance does not recognise this Goddess. Human power, we have said, is a reflection, a shadow of the Divine Power but most often it is a deformed, a perverted Divine Power. Man is full of his egoistic vital Self-Confidence: he believes it is his own will that is realising all, all which is achieved here; whatever he has creater it is through the might of his own merit and whatever new creations will be done in the future will be through the Grace of his own genius. A mighty vital selfhood obscures his consciousness and he sees nothing else, understands nothing else beyond the reach of that limited vision. This is the Rakshasa, this is the Asura in man. Here is his philosophy of life:
I climb, a claimant to the throne of heaven.||123.33||
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In his body man is the beast, in the vital he is the Rakshasa and the Asura, he rises now into the mind. And in the mind he is the human being proper, he has attained his own humanity. Here he has received the light of knowledge, a wider and deeper consciousness, he has unveiled the secret mysteries of Nature, brought to play hidden forces that were unknown and untapped. All these achievements have been possible for man because it is the Mother of Light that is behind and has come forward to shed something of her luminous presence around. But man has no inkling of the presence of this luminous Deity, his own light has been a screen in front of the inner divine light. It is not possible for the human mind to seize the higher light: his consciousness, his knowledge is too narrow, too superficial, too dull to comprehend what is beyond. This Divine Light is also a thing of delight, the consciousness it possesses is also the very essence of Joy and Felicity. But all that is occult to the human knowledge. Man considers Truth is his property, whatever truth is there his understanding can grasp it and bring it to play: Truth and Reality are commensurate with his own consciousness, his mental comprehension. What others speak of as realities of the spirit, truths transcendental, are an illusion and delusion. This is what is usually known as the scientific mind, the rational consciousness. An orthodox scientific mentality is in the first instance a thing of overweening Self-Confidence, of arrogant self-assertion. It declares in its formidable pride:
I have seized the cosmic energies for my use.||124.48||
1.02 - The 7 Habits An Overview, #The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, #Stephen Covey, #unset
-- will be significantly increased Self-Confidence. You will come to know yourself in a deeper, more meaningful way -- your nature, your deepest values and your unique contri bution capacity. As you live your values, your sense of identity, integrity, control, and inner-directedness will infuse you with both exhilaration and peace. You will define yourself from within, rather than by people's opinions or by comparisons to others. "Wrong" and "right" will have little to do with being found out.
Ironically, you'll find that as you care less about what others think of you; you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds, including their relationship with you. You'll no longer build your emotional life on other people's weaknesses. In addition, you'll find it easier and more desirable to change because there is something -- some core deep within -- that is essentially changeless.
1.02 - The Age of Individualism and Reason, #The Human Cycle, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
We already see a violent though incomplete beginning of this line of social evolution in Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, Communist Russia. The trend is for more and more nations to accept this beginning of a new order, and the resistance of the old order is more passive than activeit lacks the fire, enthusiasm and Self-Confidence which animates the innovating Idea.
This is no longer recognised by the new order, Fascist or Communistic,here the individual is reduced to a cell or atom of the social body. "We have destroyed" proclaims a German exponent "the false view that men are individual beings; there is no liberty of individuals, there is only liberty of nations or races."
1.02 - The Recovery, #Twelve Years With Sri Aurobindo, #Nirodbaran, #Integral Yoga
Then there was the right foot that drew our attention. It had shrunk and shrivelled up, due to impeded circulation and inactivity, to almost half its size. The skin of the sole had become dry like parchment. The Mother brought some fine white cream and asked me to apply it, Sri Aurobindo sat up, his right leg extended and the Mother stood by, watching the application. Her presence affected my Self-Confidence and I began the work rather clumsily. "No, no, not that way!" she cried out. Her protest put me at once on to the correct method. Then she smiled and said, "Yes, that's right!" Sri Aurobindo, as usual, was enjoying the scene. The whole layer of skin of the sole, thin, candle-white, peeled off like a cast. How small and tender looked the foot! He has written of his inner fight saying, "My gaping wounds are a thousand and one", in his poem A God's Labour. Here was an outer wound added to his physical being. Still, no complaint! War is war!
His hair also caused some trouble, for it was in a terribly tangled "intrinsicate" mess due to its prolonged fixed position a network as complicated as its definition by Dr. Johnson. How to untangle it? I do not know what made us bold enough to tackle that feminine problem instead of placing it in the Mother's proper care. We had no idea then that she would be only too glad to do the job; neither did she offer to do it. And Sri Aurobindo, of course, kept quiet. It is we who must ask, must "open"! It took us about an hour's desperate and delicate handling to disentangle that conglomerate skein like Lord Shiva's matted locks and bring all into a decent order. Sri Aurobindo accepted this torture with his usual submission. At the end of the perpetration, he simply asked, "Have you left some hair?" We laughed. True, this was meant as a joke, but he was not indifferent to physical grace and beauty. Later on when the Mother took up his toilet and attended to his hair, after each combing, tufts of the precious glossy hair, were loosened off, and enriched Champaklal's treasury. Sri Aurobindo on being informed of this loss, did something to stop the falling, and till the end the hair retained its glistening abundance.
1.02 - The Stages of Initiation, #Knowledge of the Higher Worlds, #Rudolf Steiner, #Theosophy
and perseverance before he can himself gain knowledge of his own progress. The teacher, as we know, can confer upon the pupil no powers which are not already latent within him, and his sole function is to assist in the awakening of slumbering faculties. But what he imparts out of his own experience is a pillar of strength for the one wishing to penetrate through darkness to light. Many abandon the path to higher knowledge soon after having set foot upon it, because their progress is not immediately apparent to them. And even when the first experiences begin to dawn upon the pupil, he is apt to regard them as illusions, because he had formed quite different conceptions of what he was going to experience. He loses courage, either because he regards these first experiences as being of no value, or because they appear to him to be so insignificant that he cannot believe they will lead him to any appreciable results within a measurable time. Courage and Self-Confidence are two beacons which must never be extinguished on the path to higher knowledge. No one will ever travel far who cannot bring himself to repeat, over and over
p. 59
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a wealth of experience, so that their Self-Confidence, courage and fortitude have been greatly streng thened in a normal manner while learning to bear sorrow, disappointment and failure in their undertakings with greatness of soul, and especially with equanimity and unbroken strength. Thus they are often initiates without knowing it, and it then needs but little to unseal their spiritual hearing and sight so that they become clairvoyant. For it must be noted that a genuine fire-trial is not intended to satisfy the curiosity of the candidate. It is true that he learns many uncommon things of which others can have no inkling, but this acquisition of knowledge is not the end, but the means to the end; the end consists in the attainment, thanks to this knowledge of the higher worlds, of greater and truer Self-Confidence, a higher degree of courage, and a magnanimity and perseverance such as cannot, as a rule, be acquired in the lower world.
The candidate may always turn back after the fire-trial. He will then resume his life, streng thened in body and soul, and wait for a future incarnation to continue his initiation. In his present incarnation he will prove himself a more
1.06 - On Thought, #Words Of Long Ago, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
I have just said that we always look upon ourselves with great indulgence, and I think in fact that our defects very often appear to us to be full of charm and that we justify all our weaknesses. But to tell the truth, this is because we lack Self-Confidence. Does this surprise you?.. Yes, I repeat, we lack confidence, not in what we are at the present moment, not in our ephemeral and ever-changing outer beingthis being always finds favour in our eyes but we lack confidence in what we can become through effort, we have no faith in the integral and profound transformation which will be the work of our true self, of the eternal, the divine who is in all beings, if we surrender like children to its supremely luminous and far-seeing guidance.
So let us not confuse complacency with confidence and let us return to our subject.
1.08 - The Supreme Discovery, #Words Of Long Ago, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
Before I close, I shall add a few pages for those who have already made apparently fruitless efforts, for those who have encountered the pitfalls on the way and seen the measure of their weakness, for those who are in danger of losing their Self-Confidence and courage. These pages, intended to rekindle hope in the hearts of those who suffer, were written by a spiritual worker at a time when ordeals of every kind were sweeping down on him like purifying flames.
You who are weary, downcast and bruised, you who fall, who think perhaps that you are defeated, hear the voice of a friend. He knows your sorrows, he has shared them, he has suffered like you from the ills of the earth; like you he has crossed many deserts under the burden of the day, he has known thirst and hunger, solitude and abandonment, and the cruellest of all wants, the destitution of the heart. Alas! he has known too the hours of doubt, the errors, the faults, the failings, every weakness.
1.09 - A System of Vedic Psychology, #Vedic and Philological Studies, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
The successes of European science have cast the shadow of their authority & prestige over the speculations of European scholarship; for European thought is, in appearance, a serried army marching to world-conquest and we who undergo the yoke of its tyranny, we, who paralysed by that fascination and overborne by that domination, have almost lost the faculty of thinking for ourselves, receive without distinction all its camp followers or irregular volunteers as authorities to whom we must needs submit.We reflect in our secondh and opinions the weak parts of European thought equally with the strong; we do not distinguish between those of its ideas which eternal Truth has ratified and those which have merely by their ingenuity and probability captivated for a short season the human imagination. The greater part of the discoveries of European Science (its discoveries, not its intellectual generalisations) belong to the first category; the greater part of the conclusions of European scholarship to the second. The best European thought has itself no illusions on this score. One of the greatest of European scholars & foremost of European thinkers, Ernest Renan, after commencing his researches in Comparative Philology with the most golden & extravagant hopes, was compelled at the close of a life of earnest & serious labour, to sum up the chief preoccupation of his days in a formula of measured disparagement,petty conjectural sciences. In other words, no sciences at all; for a science built upon conjectures is as much an impossibility & a contradiction in terms as a house built upon water. Renans own writings bear eloquent testimony to the truth of his final verdict; those which sum up his scholastic research, read now like a mass of learned crudity, even the best of them no longer authoritative or valid; those which express the substance or shades of his lifes thinking are of an imperishable beauty & value. The general sentiment of European Science agrees with the experience of Renan and even shoots beyond it; in the vocabulary of German scientists the word Philologe, philologist, bears a sadly disparaging and contemptuous significance & so great is the sense among serious thinkers of the bankruptcy of Comparative Philology that many deny even the possibility of an etymological Science. There is no doubt an element of exaggeration in some of these views; but it is true that Comparative Philology, Comparative Mythology, ethnology, anthropology and their kindred sciences are largely a mass of conjectures,shifting intellectual quagmires in which we can find no sure treading. Only the airy wings of an ingenious imagination can bear us up on that shimmering surface and delude us with the idea that it is the soil which supports our movement & not the wings. There is a meagre but sound substratum of truth which will disengage itself some day from the conjectural rubbish; but the present stage of these conjectural sciences is no better but rather worse than the state of European chemistry in the days of Paracelsus.But we in India are under the spell of European philology; we are taken by its ingenuity, audacity & Self-Confidence, an ingenuity which is capable of giving a plausibility to the absurd and an appearance of body to the unsubstantial, an audacity which does not hesitate to erect the most imposing theories on a few tags of disconnected facts, a confidence which even the constant change of its own opinions cannot disconcert. Moreover, our natural disposition is to the intellectuality of the scholar; verbal ingenuities, recondite explanations, far-fetched glosses have long had a weight with us which the discontinuity of our old scientific activities and disciplined experimental methods of reaching subjective truth has exaggerated and our excessive addiction to mere verbal metaphysics strongly confirmed. It is not surprising that educated India should have tacitly or expressly accepted even in subjects of such supreme importance to us as the real significance of the Vedas and Upanishads, the half patronising, half contemptuous views of the European scholar.
What are those views? They represent the Veda to us as a mass of naturalistic, ritualistic & astrological conceits, allegories & metaphors, crude & savage in the substance of its thought but more artificial & ingenious in its particular ideas & fancies than the most artificial, allegorical or Alexandrian poetry to be found in the worlds literaturea strange incoherent & gaudy jumble unparalleled by the early literature of any other nation,the result of a queer psychological mixture of an early savage with a modern astronomer & comparative mythologist.
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Is there or can there be a system of Vedic psychology? To us who are dominated today by the prestige of European thought and scholarship, the Vedas are a document of primitive barbarism, the ancient Vedanta a mass of sublime but indisciplined speculations. We may admit the existence of many deep psychological intuitions in the Upanishads; we do not easily allow to an age which we have been taught to regard as great but primitive and undeveloped the possibility of a profound and reasoned system in a subject in which Europe with all her modern knowledge has been unable to develop a real science. I believe that this current view of our Vedic forefa thers is entirely erroneous and arises from our application to them of a false system of psychological and intellectual values. Europe has formed certain views about the Veda & the Vedanta, and succeeded in imposing them on the Indian intellect. The ease with which this subjugation has been effected, is not surprising; for the mere mass of labour of Vedic scholarship has been imposing, its ingenuity of philological speculation is well calculated to dazzle the uncritical mind and the audacity & Self-Confidence with which it constructs its theories conceals the conjectural uncertainty of their foundations. When a hundred world famous scholars cry out, This is so, it is hard indeed for the average mind and even minds above the average, but inexpert in these special subjects, not to acquiesce. Nor has there been in India itself any corresponding labour of scholarship, diligence & sound enquiry which could confront the brilliant and hazardous generalisations of modern Sanscrit scholarship with the results of a more perfect system and a more penetrating vision. The only attempt in that direction the attempt of Swami Dayanandahas not been of a kind to generate confidence in the dispassionate judgment of posterity which must be the final arbiter of these disputes; for not only was that great Pundit and vigorous disputant unequipped with the wide linguistic & philological scholarship necessary for his work, but his method was rapid, impatient, polemical, subservient to certain fixed religious ideas rather than executed in the calm, disinterested freedom of the careful and impartial thinker and scholar. Judgment has passed on the Veda & Vedanta by default in favour of the scholastic criticism of Europe which has alone been represented in the court of modern opinion.
Nevertheless a time must come when the Indian mind will shake off the paralysis that has fallen upon it, cease to think or hold opinions at second & third hand & reassert its right to judge and inquire with a perfect freedom into the meaning of its own Scriptures. When that day comes, we shall, I think, discover that the imposing fabric of Vedic theory is based upon nothing more sound or lasting than a foundation of loosely massed conjectures. We shall question many established philological myths,the legend, for instance, of an Aryan invasion of India from the north, the artificial & unreal distinction of Aryan & Dravidian which an erroneous philology has driven like a wedge into the unity of the homogeneous Indo-Afghan race; the strange dogma of a henotheistic Vedic naturalism; the ingenious & brilliant extravagances of the modern sun & star myth weavers, and many another hasty & attractive generalisation which, after a brief period of unquestioning acceptance by the easily-persuaded intellect of mankind, is bound to depart into the limbo of forgotten theories. We attach an undue importance & value to the ephemeral conclusions of European philology, because it is systematic in its errors and claims to be a science.We forget or do not know that the claims of philology to a scientific value & authority are scouted by European scientists; the very word, Philologe, is a byword of scorn to serious scientific writers in Germany, the temple of philology. One of the greatest of modern philologists & modern thinkers, Ernest Renan, was finally obliged after a lifetime of hope & earnest labour to class the chief preoccupation of his life as one of the petty conjectural sciencesin other words no science at all, but a system of probabilities & guesses. Beyond one or two generalisations of the mutations followed by words in their progress through the various Aryan languages and a certain number of grammatical rectifications & rearrangements, resulting in a less arbitrary view of linguistic relations, modern philology has discovered no really binding law or rule for its own guidance. It has fixed one or two sure signposts; the rest is speculation and conjecture.We are not therefore bound to worship at the shrines of Comparative Science & Comparative Mythology & offer up on these dubious altars the Veda & Vedanta. The question of Vedic truth & the meaning of Veda still lies open. If Sayanas interpretation of Vedic texts is largely conjectural and likely often to be mistaken & unsound, the European interpretation can lay claim to no better certainty. The more lively ingenuity and imposing orderliness of the European method of conjecture may be admitted; but ingenuity & orderliness, though good helps to an enquiry, are in themselves no guarantee of truth and a conjecture does not cease to be a conjecture, because its probability or possibility is laboriously justified or brilliantly supported. It is on the basis of a purely conjectural translation of the Vedas that Europe presents us with these brilliant pictures of Vedic religion, Vedic society, Vedic civilisation which we so eagerly accept and unquestioningly reproduce. For we take them as the form of an unquestionable truth; in reality, they are no more than brilliantly coloured hypotheses,works of imagination, not drawings from the life.
1.18 - Evocation, #The Practice of Magical Evocation, #Franz Bardon, #Occultism
Before a magician starts with the evocation of beings he must have the whole procedure precisely entered into the book of formulae and should, if possible, know it by heart, so that he is not delayed during his operations by any looking up. It is possible that difficulties will arise at the beginning of the magician's practice, but soon the repeated evocation of beings will increase his Self-Confidence. Besides that, he will realize that an evocation is not just the calling of a being, but a regular ritual, composed of a whole number of magical operations. The magician must make sure that no hiatus exists in this rite, for each hiatus would be a disturbance not only to the magician, but also to the being evoked. A faultless operation is that which the grimoires call the complete circle. This expression does not refer to the circle that is drawn by the magician for his protection, and as a symbol of the microcosm and macrocosm, which is of the relationship to God, but it refers to the total coherent magical operation. The purpose of the evocation, too, must be laid down in writing before its beginning, for during the evocation no additional questions may be raised.
As one can guess from the whole procedure of preparation, a cautiously prepared and precisely completed magical evocation requires much time. If, by repeated intercourse with one and the same being, the magician has established a good connection, so that the being pays him absolute obedience and thereby completely acknowledges his magical authority, the magician may, to save time, arrange a different way to contact the being either by an abbreviated individual rite, or even just a word for the evocation of the being and by getting the being's approval for this, or he may cause the being to choose an abridged method to which the being itself and its servants are bound to react at any time. This abridged method, too, has to be written into the book of furmulae conscientiously, so that during its practical application no mistakes occur. This is especially important should the magician have entered into a number of connections with beings.
1.22 - The Necessity of the Spiritual Transformation, #The Human Cycle, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
Such a period was the recent materialistic age, when the intellect of man seemed decided to study thoroughly Life and Matter, to admit only that, to recognise mind only as an instrument of Life and Matter, and to devote all its knowledge to a tremendous expansion of the vital and physical life, its practicality, its efficiency, its comfort and the splendid ordering of its instincts of production, possession and enjoyment. That was the character of the materialistic, commercial, economic age of mankind, a period in which the ethical mind persisted painfully, but with decreasing Self-Confidence, an increasing self-questioning and a tendency to yield up the fortress of the moral law to the life-instinct, the aesthetic instinct and intelligence flourished as a rather glaring exotic ornament, a sort of rare orchid in the button-hole of the vital man, and reason became the magnificent servant of Life and Matter. The titanic development of the vital Life which followed, is ending as the Titans always end; it lit its own funeral pyre in the conflagration of a world-war, its natural upshot, a struggle between the most efficient and civilised nations for the possession and enjoyment of the world, of its wealth, its markets, its available spaces, an inflated and plethoric commercial expansion, largeness of imperial size and rule. For that is what the great war signified and was in its real origin, because that was the secret or the open intention of all pre-war diplomacy and international politics; and if a nobler idea was awakened at least for a time, it was only under the scourge of Death and before the terrifying spectre of a gigantic mutual destruction. Even so the awakening was by no means complete, nor everywhere quite sincere, but it was there and it was struggling towards birth even in Germany, once the great protagonist of the vitalistic philosophy of life. In that awakening lay some hope of better things. But for the moment at least the vitalistic aim has once more raised its head in a new form and the hope has dimmed in a darkness and welter in which only the eye of faith can see chaos preparing a new cosmos.
The first result of this imperfect awakening seemed likely to be a return to an older ideal, with a will to use the reason and the ethical mind better and more largely in the ordering of individual, of national and of international life. But such an attempt, though well enough as a first step, cannot be the real and final solution; if our effort ends there, we shall not arrive. The solution lies, we have said, in an awakening to our real, because our highest self and nature,that hidden self which we are not yet, but have to become and which is not the strong and enlightened vital Will hymned by Nietzsche, but a spiritual self and spiritual nature that will use the mental being which we already are, but the mental being spiritualised, and transform by a spiritual ideality the aim and action of our vital and physical nature. For this is the formula of man in his highest potentiality, and safety lies in tending towards our highest and not in resting content with an inferior potentiality. To follow after the highest in us may seem to be to live dangerously, to use again one of Nietzsches inspired expressions, but by that danger comes victory and security. To rest in or follow after an inferior potentiality may seem safe, rational, comfortable, easy, but it ends badly, in some futility or in a mere circling, down the abyss or in a stagnant morass. Our right and natural road is towards the summits.
1.25 - On the destroyer of the passions, most sublime humility, which is rooted in spiritual feeling., #The Ladder of Divine Ascent, #Saint John of Climacus, #unset
54. The man of humble mind always loathes his own will as wayward, and in his requests to the Lord he studies with unwavering faith to learn and to obey. He does not direct his attention to the life of his masters but casts his care upon God who used an ass to teach Balaam his duty. A worker of this kind, although he does everything and thinks and speaks according to the will of God, yet he never trusts himself. Self-Confidence for the humble is just as much a weight and a burden as another mans choice is for the proud.
55. It seems to me that it is the property only of an angel never even secretly to commit sins, for I hear an earthly angel say: I know nothing against myself; yet am I not hereby justified. But He who examines me is the Lord.1 Therefore we should unceasingly condemn and reproach ourselves so as to cast off involuntary sins through voluntary humiliations. Otherwise, if we do not, at our departure we shall certainly be subjected to heavy punishment.
1.41 - Speaks of the fear of God and of how we must keep ourselves from venial sins., #The Way of Perfection, #Saint Teresa of Avila, #Christianity
ourselves, and, the more determined we are, the less Self-Confidence we should have, for confidence
must come from God. But, when we find ourselves in this state, we need not feel constrained or
1.73 - Monsters, Niggers, Jews, etc., #Magick Without Tears, #Aleister Crowley, #Philosophy
There is one remark which I must make at the beginning. It's some poet or other, Tennyson or Kipling, I think (I forget who) that wrote: "Folks in the loomp, is baad." It is true all round. Someone wisely took note that the vilest man alive had always found someone to love him. Remember the monster that Sir Frederick Treves picked up from an East End peep-show, and had petted by princesses? (What a cunning trick!) Revolting, all the same, to read his account of it. He the monster, not Treves! seems to have been a most charming individual ah! That's the word we want. Every individual has some qualities that endear him to some other. And per contra, I doubt if there is any class which is not detestable to some other class. Artists, police, the clergy, "reds," foxhunters, Freemasons, Jews, "heaven-born," women's clubwomen (especially in U.S.A.), "Methodys," golfers, dog-lovers; you can't find one body without its "natural" enemies. It's right, what's worse; every class, as a class, is almost sure to have more defects than qualities." As soon as you put men together, they somehow sink, corporatively, below the level of the worst of the individuals composing it. Collect scholars on a club committee, or men of science on a jury; all their virtues vanish, and their vices pop out, reinforced by the Self-Confidence which the power of numbers is bound to bestow.
It is peculiarly noticeable that when a class is a ruling minority, it acquires a detestation as well as a contempt for the surrounding "mob." In the Northern States of U.S.A., where the whites are overwhelming in number, the "nigger" can be more or less a "regular fellow;" in the South, where fear is a factor, Lynch Law prevails. (Should it? The reason for "NO" is that it is a confession of weakness.) But in the North, there is a very strong feeling about certain other classes: the Irish, the Italians, the Jews. Why? Fear again; the Irish in politics, the Italians in crime, the Jews in finance. But none of these phobias prevent friendship between individuals of hostile classes.
1953-07-22, #Questions And Answers 1953, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
But in ordinary life, most of the time, people are almost always illexcept a few who escape for reasons of a different order that we shall explain one day. There are very few people who are not more or less ill all the while. But even in ordinary life, if within you there is trust, goodwill, a kind of certitude, this kind of inner confidence, oh! as there is in most children perhaps (I do not know, for, after all, those we see here are fairly exceptional, however, there is a trust in life, they are young and they have the feeling that the whole life is before them. Very few things are behind, everything is in front. So that gives them a kind of Self-Confidence, that pulls them out.
Otherwise, I do not know, in the ordinary life I have known very few people who did not complain of having at least some physical ailment which they carried always with them You know perhaps that play of Jules Romains, Doctor Knock, in which he says that a healthy man is a patient unaware of his sickness. It is usually true. When you are sufficiently busy not to be all the while occupied with yourself, you do not notice it, but it is there.
1954-08-04 - Servant and worker - Justification of weakness - Play of the Divine - Why are you here in the Ashram?, #Questions And Answers 1954, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
You have written in Words of Long Ago that we justify all our weaknesses when we lack Self-Confidence. Why do we do this?
Um! So! We justify all our weaknesses? It is not a positive want of Self-Confidence; it is a lack of confidence in what the divine Grace can do for us. To justify ones weaknesses is a kind of laziness and inertia.
Well, when one doesnt want to make an effort to correct oneself, one says, Oh, it is impossible, I cant do it, I dont have the strength, I am not made of that stuff, I dont have the necessary qualities, I could never do it. It is absolute laziness, it is in order to avoid the required effort. When you are asked to make progress: Oh, it is beyond my capacity, I am a poor creature, I can do nothing! Thats all. It is almost ill-will. It is extreme laziness, a refusal to make any effort. One accepts all ones defects and incapacities in order not to have to make the necessary effort to overcome them. One says, I am like that, I cant be otherwise! It is a refusal to let the divine Grace work in you. It is a justification of your own ill-will.
1957-07-31 - Awakening aspiration in the body, #Questions And Answers 1957-1958, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
And then you will see. When one is normal, that is to say, unspoilt by bad teaching and bad example, when one is born and lives in a healthy and relatively balanced and normal environment, the body, spontaneously, without any need for one to intervene mentally or even vitally, has the certitude that even if something goes wrong it will be cured. The body carries within itself the certitude of cure, the certitude that the illness or disorder is sure to disappear. It is only through the false education from the environment that gradually the body is taught that there are incurable diseases, irreparable accidents, and that it can grow old, and all these stories which destroy its faith and trust. But normally, the body of a normal child the body, I am not speaking of the thought the body itself feels when something goes wrong that it will certainly be all right again. And if it is not like that, this means that it has already been perverted. It seems normal for it to be in good health, it seems quite abnormal to it if something goes wrong and it falls ill; and in its instinct, its spontaneous instinct, it is sure that everything will be all right. It is only the perversion of thought which destroys this; as one grows up the thought becomes more and more distorted, there is the whole collective suggestion, and so, little by little, the body loses its trust in itself, and naturally, losing its Self-Confidence, it also loses the spontaneous capacity of restoring its equilibrium when this has been disturbed.
But if when very young, from your earliest childhood, you have been taught all sorts of disappointing, depressing thingsthings that cause decomposition, I could say, disintegration then this poor body does its best but it has been perverted, put out of order, and no longer has the sense of its inner strength, its inner force, its power to react.
2.1.1 - The Nature of the Vital, #Letters On Yoga IV, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
Why the Apollyon do you suppose that all vital things are impure? The vital has strength, ardour, enthusiasm, Self-Confidence, generosity, the victor spirita host of other very necessary things. The only difficulty is that they get mixed up with others that are impure. All the same they are there and much needed.
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2.1.4.1 - Teachers, #On Education, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
2) In the matter of Self-Confidence, must also have a sense of the relativity of his importance.
Above all, must have the knowledge that the teacher himself must always progress if he wants his students to progress, must not remain satisfied either with what he is or with what he knows.
2.15 - The Lamen, #Liber ABA, #Aleister Crowley, #Philosophy
6:In the system of Abramelin the Lamen is a plate of silver upon which the Holy Guardian Angel writes in dew. This is another way of expressing the same thing, for it is He who confers the secrets of that power which should be herein expressed. St. Paul expresses the same thing when he says that the breastplate is faith, and can withstand the fiery darts of the wicked. This "faith" is not blind Self-Confidence and credulity; it is that Self-Confidence which only comes when self is forgotten.
7:It is the "Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel" which confers this faith. The task of attaining to this Knowledge and Conversation is the sole task of him who would be called Adept. An absolute method for achieving this is given in the Eighth thyr (Liber CDXVIII, Equinox V).
2.16 - The 15th of August, #Evening Talks With Sri Aurobindo, #unset, #Zen
There he sits in the royal chair in the verandah royal and majestic. In the very posture there is divine Self-Confidence. In the heart of the Supreme Master, the great Yogin a sea of emotions is heaving is it a flood that mounts from or a flood that is coming down on humanity? Those alone who have experienced it can know something of its divinity. Those who have bathed in it once can never come out of that ocean. He sits there with pink and white lotus garlands. It is the small flower-token of the offerings by the disciples. Hearts throb, prayers, requests, emotions pour forth and a flood of blessings pours down carrying all of them away in its speed. Lack of faith, doubts, get assurance. All human needs the Divine fulfils and, after fulfilling, his Grace overflows. Love and Grace flow on undiminished. The look! the enrapturing and captivating eyes! Who can ever forget? pouring love and grace and ineffable divinity. If some transcendent Divinity is not here, where else can he be?
He is usually an embodiment of Knowledge. But today he is different. He is all Love. Here is the Great Poet and the Supreme Lover incarnate! It is inquiring, loving and blessing in a glance! Man does wonders with his eyes and looks, but to do so much Divinity is needed.
3.02 - The Practice Use of Dream-Analysis, #The Practice of Psycho therapy, #Carl Jung, #Psychology
taking refuge in the doctors Self-Confidence and profound
understanding, the patient loses all sense of reality, falls into a stubborn
3.02 - The Psychology of Rebirth, #The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, #Carl Jung, #Psychology
on the personality as a whole. It reduces one's Self-Confidence
and the spirit of enterprise, and, as a result of increasing ego-
3.09 - Of Silence and Secrecy, #Liber ABA, #Aleister Crowley, #Philosophy
To abandon ones Magick would shew lack of Self-Confidence in ones powers, and doubt as to ones inmost faith in
the Self and in Nature.1 Of course one changes ones methods
31.07 - Shyamakanta, #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 07, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
I speak of the extraordinary capacity of Shyamakanta and not of So'ham Swami. In fact, for the achievement he attained in the domain of physical strength, he deserves nothing short of the term genius. In this field, too, a Bengali was able to show his unique superiority. His strength was not merely physical strength. It was not the result of any physical culture. For there was a peculiar magic, almost a mantric power in his physical strength and capabilities. He could curb and control wild lions and tigers in the twinkling of an eye, not solely by physical strength but by something else as well. I do not refer to his moral force, though there were in him the qualities of calmness, courage and Self-Confidence beyond measure, which further enhanced his physical strength. I speak of a unique trait of his physical strength itself. For, it was as though his strength was derived more from his marrow than from his bones, more from his blood than from his muscles, more from his nerves than from his tendons. The well-nourished marrow, the vigour of blood and the firmness of nerves kept up a healthy, harmonious, powerful and unhampered current of vitality, and this current was the perennial fount of Shyamakanta's physical strength. His strength was not like the power of a machine. There was in it a natural and innate liveliness and an irresistible movement of nature itself, so to speak. Wild and ferocious animals used to crouch at his feet, awed by the current of his dynamic vitality. They felt that he was their Lord, their King.
Shyamakanta was able to invoke and retain in his body the physical strength of the Universal Nature by establishing a union: the identity between his own strength and that of the Universal Nature. Perhaps the realisation of this physical identity - 'I am That' - in the end raised him into the realisation of the Transcendental Identity.
32.08 - Fit and Unfit (A Letter), #Collected Works of Nolini Kanta Gupta - Vol 07, #Nolini Kanta Gupta, #Integral Yoga
Man is a bundle of virtues and vices. The root of pride either rajasic or tamasic must be pulled out, for it does not allow us to see or manifest the Truth. Besides, there is another kind of-pride, called sattwic pride (illumined pride). We must rise above all the three modes of pride. We do not want any kind of pride. What we want is self-surrender. Behind your modesty there lies the pride of your ignorance and self-debasement. The rajasic pride is better than this tamasic one. For tamas makes you absolutely inactive, and owing to the influence of rajas you become full of life, full of dynamism and Self-Confidence. What is wanted is that you should purify this Self-Confidence. I hope, you will gradually be aware of all the forms of pride and you will be able steadily to remove them so that your whole being may be filled with the glory of your own true Self that resides deep within you.
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3.3.2 - Doctors and Medicines, #Letters On Yoga IV, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
You are very much behind the times. Do you not know that even many doctors now admit and write it publicly that medicines are an element but only one and that the psychological element counts as much and even more? I have heard that from doctors often and read it over reputable medical signatures. And among the psychological elements, they say, one of the most important is the doctors optimism and Self-Confidence, (his faith, what? it is only another word for the same thing) and the confidence, hope, helpful mental atmosphere he can inspire in or around his patient. I have seen it stated categorically that a doctor who can do that is far more successful than one who knows Medicine better but cannot.
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4.09 - The Liberation of the Nature, #The Synthesis Of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
But these are only predominant powers in each part of our complex system. The three qualities mingle, combine and strive in every fibre and in every member of our intricate psychology. The mental character is made by them, the character of our reason, the character of our will, the character of our moral, aesthetic, emotional, dynamic, sensational being. Tamas brings in all the ignorance, inertia, weakness, incapacity which afflicts our nature, a clouded reason, nescience, unintelligence, a clinging to habitual notions and mechanical ideas, the refusal to think and know, the small mind, the closed avenues, the trotting round of mental habit, the dark and the twilit places. Tamas brings in the impotent will, want of faith and Self-Confidence and initiative, the disinclination to act, the shrinking from endeavour and aspiration, the poor and little spirit, and in our moral and dynamic being the inertia, the cowardice, baseness, sloth, lax subjection to small and ignoble motives, the weak yielding to our lower nature. Tamas brings into our emotional nature insensibility, indifference, want of sympathy and openness, the shut soul, the callous heart, the soon spent affection and languor of the feelings, into our aesthetic and sensational nature the dull aesthesis, the limited range of response, the insensibility to beauty, all that makes in man the coarse, heavy and vulgar spirit. Rajas contri butes our normal active nature with all its good and evil; when unchastened by a sufficient element of Sattwa, it turns to egoism, self-will and violence, the perverse, obstinate or exaggerating action of the reason, prejudice, attachment to opinion, clinging to error, the subservience of the intelligence to our desires and preferences and not to the truth, the fanatic or the sectarian mind, self-will, pride, arrogance, selfishness, ambition, lust, greed, cruelty, hatred, jealousy, the egoisms of love, all the vices and passions, the exaggerations of the aesthesis, the morbidities and perversions of the sensational and vital being. Tamas in its own right produces the coarse, dull and ignorant type of human nature. Rajas the vivid, restless, kinetic man, driven by the breath of action, passion and desire. Sattwa produces a higher type. The gifts of Sattwa are the mind of reason and balance, clarity of the disinterested truth-seeking open intelligence, a will subordinated to the reason or guided by the ethical spirit, self-control, equality, calm, love, sympathy, refinement, measure, fineness of the aesthetic and emotional mind, in the sensational being delicacy, just acceptivity, moderation and poise, a vitality subdued and governed by the mastering intelligence. The accomplished types of the sattwic man are the philosopher, saint and sage, of the rajasic man the statesman, warrior, forceful man of action. But in all men there is in greater or less proportions a mingling of the gunas, a multiple personality and in most a good deal of shifting and alternation from the predominance of one to the prevalence of another Guna; even in the governing form of their nature most human beings are of a mixed type. All the colour and variety of life is made of the intricate pattern of the weaving of the gunas.
But richness of life, even a sattwic harmony of mind and nature does not constitute spiritual perfection. There is a relative possible perfection, but it is a perfection of incompleteness, some partial height, force, beauty, some measure of nobility and greatness, some imposed and precariously sustained balance. There is a relative mastery, but it is a mastery of the body by life or of the life by mind, not a free possession of the instruments by the liberated and self-possessing spirit. The gunas have to be transcended if we would arrive at spiritual perfection. Tamas evidently has to be overcome, inertia and ignorance and incapacity cannot be elements of a true perfection; but it can only be overcome in Nature by the force of Rajas aided by an increasing force of Sattwa. Rajas has to be overcome, egoism, personal desire and self-seeking passion are not elements of the true perfection; but it can only be overcome by force of Sattwa enlightening the being and force of Tamas limiting the action. Sattwa itself does not give the highest or the integral perfection; Sattwa is always a quality of the limited nature; sattwic knowledge is the light of a limited mentality; sattwic will is the government of a limited intelligent force. Moreover, Sattwa cannot act by itself in Nature, but has to rely for all action on the aid of Rajas, so that even sattwic action is always liable to the imperfections of Rajas; egoism, perplexity, inconsistency, a one-sided turn, a limited and exaggerated will, exaggerating itself in the intensity of its limitations, pursue the mind and action even of the saint, philosopher and sage. There is a sattwic as well as a rajasic or tamasic egoism, at the highest an egoism of knowledge or virtue; but the mind's egoism of whatever type is incompatible with liberation. All the three gunas have to be transcended. Sattwa may bring us near to the Light, but its limited clarity falls away from us when we enter into the luminous body of the divine Nature.
4.15 - Soul-Force and the Fourfold Personality, #The Synthesis Of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
On the other hand, the turn of the nature may be to the predominance of the will-force and the capacities which make for strength, energy, courage, leadership, protection, rule, victory in every kind of battle, a creative and formative action, the willpower which lays its hold on the material of life and on the wills of other men and compels the environment into the shapes which the shakti within us seeks to impose on life or acts powerfully according to the work to be done to maintain what is in being or to destroy it and make clear the paths of the world or to bring out into definite shape what is to be. This may be there in lesser or greater power or form and according to its grade and force we have successively the mere fighter or man of action, the man of self-imposing active will and personality and the ruler, conqueror, leader of a cause, creator, founder in whatever field of the active formation of life. The various imperfections of the soul and mind produce many imperfections and perversities of this type, -- the man of mere brute force of will, the worshipper of power without any other ideal or higher purpose, the selfish, dominant personality, the aggressive violent rajasic man, the grandiose egoist, the Titan, Asura, Rakshasa. But the soul-powers to which this type of nature opens on its higher grades are as necessary as those of the Brahmana to the perfection of our human nature. The high fearlessness which no danger or difficulty can daunt and which feels its power equal to meet and face and bear whatever assault of man or fortune or adverse gods, the dynamic audacity and daring which shrinks from no adventare or enterprise as beyond the powers of a human soul free from disabling weakness and fear, the love of honour which would scale the heights of the highest nobility of man and stoop to nothing little, base, vulgar or weak, but maintains untainted the ideal of high courage, chivalry, truth, straightforwardness, sacrifice of the lower to the higher self, helpfulness to men, unflinching resistance to injustice and oppression, self-control and mastery, noble leading, warriorhood and captainship of the journey and the battle, the high Self-Confidence of power, capacity, character and courage indispensable to the man of action, -- these are the things that build the make of the Kshatriya. To carry these things to their highest degree and give them a certain divine fullness, purity and grandeur is the perfection of those who have this Swabhava and follow this Dharma.
A third turn is one that brings out into relief the practical arranging intelligence and the instinct of life to produce, exchange, possess, enjoy, contrive, put things in order and balance, spend itself and get and give and take, work out to the best advantage the active relations of existence. In its outward action it is this power that appears as the skilful devising intelligence, the legal, professional, commercial, industrial, economical, practical and scientific, mechanical, technical and utilitarian mind. This nature is accompanied at the normal level of its fullness by a general temperament which is at once grasping and generous, prone to amass and treasure, to enjoy, show and use, bent upon efficient exploitation of the world or its surroundings, but well capable too of practical philanthropy, humanity, ordered benevolence, orderly and ethical by rule but without any high distinction of the finer ethical spirit, a mind of the middle levels, not straining towards the heights, not great to break and create noble moulds of life, but marked by capacity, adaptation and measure The powers, limitations and perversions of this type are familiar to us on a large scale, because this is the very spirit which has made our modern commercial and industrial civilisation. But if we look at 'the greater inner capacities and soul-values, we shall find that here also there are things that enter into the completeness of human perfection. The Power that thus outwardly expresses itself on our present lower levels is one that can throw itself out in the great utilities of life and at its freest and widest makes, not for oneness and identity which is the highest reach of knowledge or the mastery and spiritual kingship which is the highest reach of strength, but still for something which is also essential to the wholeness of existence, equal mutuality and the exchange of soul with soul arid life with life. Its powers are, first, a skill, kausala, which fashions and obeys law, recognises the uses and limits of relations, adapts itself to settled and developing movements, produces and perfects the outer technique of creation and action and life, assures possession and proceeds from possession to growth, is watchful over order and careful in progress and makes the most of the material of existence and its means and ends; then a power of self-spending skilful in lavishness and skilful in economy, which recognises the great law of interchange and amasses in order to throw out in a large return, increasing the currents of interchange and the fruitfulness of existence; a power of giving and ample creative liberality, mutual helpfulness and utility to others which becomes the source in an open soul of just beneficence, humanitarianism, altruism of a practical kind; finally, a power of enjoyment, a productive, possessive, active opulence luxurious of the prolific Ananda of existence. A largeness of mutuality, a generous fullness of the relations of life, a lavish self-spending and return and ample interchange between existence and existence, a full enjoyment and use of the rhythm and balance of fruitful and productive life are the perfection of those who have this Swabhava and follow this Dharma.
6.08 - THE CONTENT AND MEANING OF THE FIRST TWO STAGES, #Mysterium Coniunctionis, #Carl Jung, #Psychology
[756] Naturally there is an enormous difference between an anticipated psychosis and a real one, but the difference is not always clearly perceived and this gives rise to uncertainty or even a fit of panic. Unlike a real psychosis, which comes on you and inundates you with uncontrollable fantasies irrupting from the unconscious, the judging attitude implies a voluntary involvement in those fantasy-processes which compensate the individual andin particular the collective situation of consciousness. The avowed purpose of this involvement is to integrate the statements of the unconscious, to assimilate their compensatory content, and thereby produce a whole meaning which alone makes life worth living and, for not a few people, possible at all. The reason why the involvement looks very like a psychosis is that the patient is integrating the same fantasy-material to which the insane person falls victim because he cannot integrate it but is swallowed up by it. In myths the hero is the one who conquers the dragon, not the one who is devoured by it. And yet both have to deal with the same dragon. Also, he is no hero who never met the dragon, or who, if he once saw it, declared afterwards that he saw nothing. Equally, only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it wins the hoard, the treasure hard to attain. He alone has a genuine claim to Self-Confidence, for he has faced the dark ground of his self and thereby has gained himself. This experience gives him faith and trust, the pistis in the ability of the self to sustain him, for everything that menaced him from inside he has made his own. He has acquired the right to believe that he will be able to overcome all future threats by the same means. He has arrived at an inner certainty which makes him capable of self-reliance, and attained what the alchemists called the unio mentalis.
[757] As a rule this state is represented pictorially by a mandala. Often such drawings contain clear allusions to the sky and the stars and therefore refer to something like the inner heaven, the firmament or Olympus of Paracelsus, the Microcosm. This, too, is that circular product, the caelum,224 which Dorn wanted to produce by assiduous rotary movements. Because it is not very likely that he ever manufactured this quintessence as a chemical body, and he himself nowhere asserts that he did, one must ask whether he really meant this chemical operation or rather, perhaps, the opus alchymicum in general, that is, the transmutation of Mercurius duplex under the synonym of the red and white wine,225 thus alluding at the same time to the opus ad rubeum et ad album. This seems to me more probable. At any rate some kind of laboratory work was meant. In this way Dorn shaped out his intuition of a mysterious centre preexistent in man, which at the same time represented a cosmos, i.e., a totality, while he himself remained conscious that he was portraying the self in matter. He completed the image of wholeness by the admixture of honey, magic herbs, and human blood, or their meaningful equivalents, just as a modern man does when he associates numerous symbolic attributes with his drawing of a mandala. Also, following the old Sabaean and Alexandrian models, Dorn drew the influence of the planets (stellae inferiores)or Tartarus and the mythological aspect of the underworldinto his quintessence, just as the patient does today.226
7.04 - The Vital, #Words Of The Mother II, #The Mother, #Integral Yoga
Right attitude in the vital: Self-Confidence mental and vital quiet faith in your own realisation and in the Divines help.
357
7 - Yoga of Sri Aurobindo, #unset, #Arthur C Clarke, #Fiction
formations are made, namely, giving Self-Confidence to
the body, telling it that there is nothing to be anxious
COSA - BOOK VII, #The Confessions of Saint Augustine, #Saint Augustine of Hippo, #Christianity
to the end they might go on no further in Self-Confidence, but rather
consent to become weak, seeing before their feet the Divinity weak by
ENNEAD 02.09 - Against the Gnostics; or, That the Creator and the World are Not Evil., #Plotinus - Complete Works Vol 02, #Plotinus, #Christianity
The reader must now clearly see the kind of assertions given out by the (Gnostics), and what their purpose must be. What they say about demons (or guardians) has here been mentioned only as a commentary on their vain pretenses. Other opinions of the (Gnostics) may best be judged by a perusal of their books, by each individual for himself. Remember always that our system of philosophy contains, beside the other good (reasons), the simplicity of moral habits, the purity of intelligence, and that instead of vain boasting it recommends the care of personal dignity, rational Self-Confidence, prudence, reserve, and circumspection. The remainder (of Gnostic philosophy) may well be contrasted with ours. As all that is taught by the Gnostics is very different629 (from our teachings), we would have no advantage in a further detailed contrast; and it would be unworthy of us to pursue the matter(?).
THE GNOSTIC DESTINY OF MAN IS DEMORALIZING.
Euthyphro, #unset, #Arthur C Clarke, #Fiction
Euthyphro is a religionist, and is elsewhere spoken of, if he be the same person, as the author of a philosophy of names, by whose 'prancing steeds' Socrates in the Cratylus is carried away. He has the conceit and Self-Confidence of a Sophist; no doubt that he is right in prosecuting his father has ever entered into his mind. Like a Sophist too, he is incapable either of framing a general definition or of following the course of an argument. His wrong-headedness, one-sidedness, narrowness, positiveness, are characteristic of his priestly office. His failure to apprehend an argument may be compared to a similar defect which is observable in the rhapsode Ion. But he is not a bad man, and he is friendly to Socrates, whose familiar sign he recognizes with interest. Though unable to follow him he is very willing to be led by him, and eagerly catches at any suggestion which saves him from the trouble of thinking. Moreover he is the enemy of Meletus, who, as he says, is availing himself of the popular dislike to innovations in religion in order to injure Socrates; at the same time he is amusingly confident that he has weapons in his own armoury which would be more than a match for him. He is quite sincere in his prosecution of his father, who has accidentally been guilty of homicide, and is not wholly free from blame. To purge away the crime appears to him in the light of a duty, whoever may be the criminal.
Thus begins the contrast between the religion of the letter, or of the narrow and unenlightened conscience, and the higher notion of religion which Socrates vainly endeavours to elicit from him. 'Piety is doing as I do' is the idea of religion which first occurs to him, and to many others who do not say what they think with equal frankness. For men are not easily persuaded that any other religion is better than their own; or that other nations, e.g. the Greeks in the time of Socrates, were equally serious in their religious beliefs and difficulties. The chief difference between us and them is, that they were slowly learning what we are in process of forgetting. Greek mythology hardly admitted of the distinction between accidental homicide and murder: that the pollution of blood was the same in both cases is also the feeling of the Athenian diviner. He had not as yet learned the lesson, which philosophy was teaching, that Homer and Hesiod, if not banished from the state, or whipped out of the assembly, as Heracleitus more rudely proposed, at any rate were not to be appealed to as authorities in religion; and he is ready to defend his conduct by the examples of the gods. These are the very tales which Socrates cannot abide; and his dislike of them, as he suspects, has branded him with the reputation of impiety. Here is one answer to the question, 'Why Socrates was put to death,' suggested by the way. Another is conveyed in the words, 'The Athenians do not care about any man being thought wise until he begins to make other men wise; and then for some reason or other they are angry:' which may be said to be the rule of popular toleration in most other countries, and not at Athens only. In the course of the argument Socrates remarks that the controversial nature of morals and religion arises out of the difficulty of verifying them. There is no measure or standard to which they can be referred.
r1913 01 17, #Record of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
The matter of the equipment has now been handed over to the passive Ishita; it is the one point of almost complete unsuccess which still prevents faith in the adeshasiddhi from attaining to Self-Confidence and fullness,although the failure of the saundarya to emerge is a powerful auxiliary obstacle.
The news today confirms the trikaldrishti, especially vyaptiprakamya in a striking fashioneg the hesitations in Constantinople, the fears of the Ministers about disruption and defeat, the want of real unanimity among the Powers, the easier state, yet continuance, of the Roumanian difficulty, fresh wrecks etc. One unexpected event is the murder at Comilla. The old trikaldrishti & sortilege about the frequency of wrecks is confirmed by todays telegram giving the number lost in 1912 as 228 (82 British). The working of the aishwarya-vyapti-ishita in great matters is also very evident in the movement of the subjectivity everywhere and to a great extent in the movement of the subjective objectivity, but it is still very deficient in the objective results,effective, but only partially effective. The basis of the adeshasiddhi & karmasiddhi is being erected, but it is not as yet sufficiently firm or sufficiently wide.
r1914 07 27, #Record of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
Samata now maintains itself with nothing worse than failings of Self-Confidence and movements of physical depression which cannot last. That chatusthaya then is accomplished.
The second needs only the most intense dasya and the faith in the entire rapidity to reach its highest expression in the subjectivity.
r1917 02 06, #Record of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
Ideality is more and more overcoming the intellectuality which has lost all Self-Confidence and only persists when it thinks itself the ideality or inspired by the ideality. This confirms recent lipiservant of ideality
Samadhi confirmed its movement. It is trying to become complete. In jagrat there is still the obstacle and the same movement.
r1919 07 22, #Record of Yoga, #Sri Aurobindo, #Integral Yoga
In the morning physical tamas, some relapse into the old intuivity. This is now being corrected, but it is noticeable that the obstruction is being concentrated in the physical system. Opposition in the objective subjectivity is half-hearted; the opposition has lost faith and Self-Confidence.
The remnants of the habit of intellectual judgment and recipiency are now being raised and extruded from the system; the ideality is to be its own recipient, its own critic, questioner, judge, authority.
The Anapanasati Sutta A Practical Guide to Mindfullness of Breathing and Tranquil Wisdom Meditation, #unset, #Arthur C Clarke, #Fiction
has Self-Confidence and singleness of mind without
applied and sustained thought, with joy and
--
how well the meditation works. The Self-Confidence not
only arises when one is sitting in meditation but, also during
the Eternal Wisdom, #unset, #Arthur C Clarke, #Fiction
15) Confidence in help from outside brings with it distress. Only Self-Confidence gives force and joy. ~ Fo-tho-hing-tsang-king
16) Stimulate thyself, direct thyself; thus protected by thyself and full of clear-seeing thou shalt live always happy. ~ Dhammapada
The Riddle of this World, #unknown, #Unknown, #unset
and eagerness, of exaggerated self-esteem and Self-Confidence, of a
premature certitude, relying on no other guidance than that of one's
--- Overview of noun self-confidence
The noun self-confidence has 1 sense (first 1 from tagged texts)
1. (3) assurance, self-assurance, confidence, self-confidence, authority, sureness ::: (freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities; "his assurance in his superiority did not make him popular"; "after that failure he lost his confidence"; "she spoke with authority")
--- Synonyms/Hypernyms (Ordered by Estimated Frequency) of noun self-confidence
1 sense of self-confidence
Sense 1
assurance, self-assurance, confidence, self-confidence, authority, sureness
=> certainty
=> cognitive state, state of mind
=> psychological state, psychological condition, mental state, mental condition
=> condition, status
=> state
=> attribute
=> abstraction, abstract entity
=> entity
--- Hyponyms of noun self-confidence
--- Synonyms/Hypernyms (Ordered by Estimated Frequency) of noun self-confidence
1 sense of self-confidence
Sense 1
assurance, self-assurance, confidence, self-confidence, authority, sureness
=> certainty
--- Coordinate Terms (sisters) of noun self-confidence
1 sense of self-confidence
Sense 1
assurance, self-assurance, confidence, self-confidence, authority, sureness
-> certainty
=> assurance, self-assurance, confidence, self-confidence, authority, sureness
=> certitude, cocksureness, overconfidence
=> reliance, trust
--- Grep of noun self-confidence
self-confidence
Wikipedia - Midlife crisis -- Transition of identity and self-confidence
Wikipedia - Self-confidence
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13605612-the-self-confidence-self-esteem-bible
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34513094-the-art-of-self-confidence-and-not-giving-a-f-ck
Shirley Valentine (1989) ::: 7.2/10 -- R | 1h 48min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 30 August 1989 (USA) -- Shirley is a 42-year-old Liverpudlian bored housewife, who takes a holiday trip to Greece, meeting a local man who bolsters her self-confidence. She evolves and transforms to the point of finally being unrecognizable by her husband. Director: Lewis Gilbert Writers: Willy Russell (play), Willy Russell (screenplay)
Darling in the FranXX -- -- A-1 Pictures, CloverWorks, Trigger -- 24 eps -- Original -- Action Drama Mecha Romance Sci-Fi -- Darling in the FranXX Darling in the FranXX -- In the distant future, humanity has been driven to near-extinction by giant beasts known as Klaxosaurs, forcing the surviving humans to take refuge in massive fortress cities called Plantations. Children raised here are trained to pilot giant mechas known as FranXX—the only weapons known to be effective against the Klaxosaurs—in boy-girl pairs. Bred for the sole purpose of piloting these machines, these children know nothing of the outside world and are only able to prove their existence by defending their race. -- -- Hiro, an aspiring FranXX pilot, has lost his motivation and self-confidence after failing an aptitude test. Skipping out on his class' graduation ceremony, Hiro retreats to a forest lake, where he encounters a mysterious girl with two horns growing out of her head. She introduces herself by her codename Zero Two, which is known to belong to an infamous FranXX pilot known as the "Partner Killer." Before Hiro can digest the encounter, the Plantation is rocked by a sudden Klaxosaur attack. Zero Two engages the creature in her FranXX, but it is heavily damaged in the skirmish and crashes near Hiro. Finding her partner dead, Zero Two invites Hiro to pilot the mecha with her, and the duo easily defeats the Klaxosaur in the ensuing fight. With a new partner by his side, Hiro has been given a chance at redemption for his past failures, but at what cost? -- -- -- Licensor: -- Funimation -- 1,083,249 7.31
Hajimete no Gal -- -- NAZ -- 10 eps -- Manga -- Comedy Romance Ecchi School Shounen -- Hajimete no Gal Hajimete no Gal -- Following a prank pulled by his perverse friends, Junichi Hashiba asks a gal out in an attempt to change the fact that he's a hopeless virgin. Yukana Yame, the girl in question, is disgusted by Junichi's groveling. However, through a series of teasing remarks, she soon finds herself bonding with him and ultimately accepting Junichi's confession, much to his surprise. -- -- Hajimete no Gal follows Junichi as he overcomes his lack of self-confidence and suppresses his sexual urges, all while thrust into a whole new school life full of lively girls and unpredictable mayhem. -- -- 354,157 6.29
Hajimete no Gal -- -- NAZ -- 10 eps -- Manga -- Comedy Romance Ecchi School Shounen -- Hajimete no Gal Hajimete no Gal -- Following a prank pulled by his perverse friends, Junichi Hashiba asks a gal out in an attempt to change the fact that he's a hopeless virgin. Yukana Yame, the girl in question, is disgusted by Junichi's groveling. However, through a series of teasing remarks, she soon finds herself bonding with him and ultimately accepting Junichi's confession, much to his surprise. -- -- Hajimete no Gal follows Junichi as he overcomes his lack of self-confidence and suppresses his sexual urges, all while thrust into a whole new school life full of lively girls and unpredictable mayhem. -- -- -- Licensor: -- Funimation -- 354,157 6.29
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