object:Past Authoring Program
subject class:Psychology 434 - Maps of Meaning
class:assignment
class:Self-Authoring Program
class:Jordan Peterson
The Seven Epochs
1) anytime before Elementary and Elementary to Grade 7 (Kingston) (1994-2000)
2) Grade 7 - end of highschool (2000-2007)
3) end of HS and Post-High school (Symposium, Kosmic-C and Sydney's days) (~2007-2009)
4) Karen, BC + India 1 + BC + Sri Aurobindo (2009-2015)
5) technology - Post Karen BC, Post Karen b-town
6) pre and post India 2
7) North York
--- ONE (Kingston) a) kindergarten - eye patch kid ::: not exactly sure, what experience this is, but what comes to mind is what I imagine was having a rock thrown at my face, someone putting something on my chair for me to sit on. I dont really recall being heavily bullied in the beginning, but in my youth, being a kid with an eye patch (aka lazy eyed), I wouldnt be surprised if during this time I was bullied more than I remember. At least I was an easy target. This also reminds me of what my mom said about how I was friends with Laura? in my youth, (she was invited to by bday party) but then later I feel like I didnt want to associate with her as she was perhaps looked down lowly and I didnt want to associate. I may just be imagining but I imagine her to be high energy and ditzy, maybe I was that way until I started to care what people thought, and became more closed off.
This seems to also make me think of not dressing up for elementary graduation (epoch 2), and that brutal moustache I had since grade 6 or something. This long line of perhaps trying to not care what people think as a coping mechanism or something.
b) art - catepillar, art class + purchase ::: this is two experiences, both tied to art. The first was when I was in daycare, not sure what age and grade, I am also not sure if we were all doing art together or it was just me, regardless I drew something like a catepillar, and "everyone" started copying me. drawing similar catepillars with markers or whatever, and I recall getting upset. I often associate this with the later idea that "I dont want to be copyable". or that I want to be the best at something, the more obscure the more likely the possibility that I can be the best at something. It seems related to the idea also that its like I am or rarely was the best at anything, unlikely to be praised and popular and then as soon as I do something "excellent" it is copied, and as if diluted in that process. I didnt realize how could it be any other way. Its actually a compliment. I may have even been told that then, but I didnt care.
the second experience, was maybe I was enrolled in a art class outside of school, or something, and we got to use these awesome thin tipped high flowing markers, and I in the gleeful process of enjoying the markers made one of my "greatest" works. I was very young, but the art made its way home and was framed and up in my dads room for a very very long time. very recently it was returned to me, which was awful but for a long time it was hung with pride, and likely affected my identity, partially, as an artist. It was also told to me at some point that someone offered to buy it for $50 at the time. Which, well, I love that.
c) karate - snap the Gi + tournaments ::: I was in karate for a while and it brings two major experiences to mind. One is when I was in class one day, and we were just doing punches and with a particular strike by gi made this loud ass snapping noise and the cloth smashed into itself. The instructor inquired who did that, and I timidly raised my hand, not sure if I had done something wrong. I imagine now the instructor must have intoned it questionably, as some kind of test. But regardless I raised my hand and was awarded praise. Which makes sense now. Regardless it is an interesting experience as I did something, was unsure if I should say anything, but upon doing so I was praised. Good memory.
the other memory was getting my ass handed to me at a Karate tournament. I remember fighting (I think it was a girl) and as soon as the match started they were on the aggressive like it was meant to be a 10 second match or like their life depended on it. There was such an intenseness and fierceness. And though I didnt have much kumite practice, if my style was any similar then to as it is now, I consider myself a cautious fighter, defensive. Usually trying to practice and master defense. I have an immense joy to being able to block all my opponents attacks and get a few off myself. Having that control. I am not sure what to think of this experience but it is interesting.
d) loss of Brian ::: oof. this one hurt. In short, it was something like Brian and his friends.. Chris? and Shaun? and I were playing with cap guns or something in a park by our area and at some point I was taking cover or something and took a long ass time to come out. Perhaps I was scared due to the thrill of the match, maybe i didnt want to be taken a fool and come out and get "shot" who knows. Regardless the time I took became the source of an argument or something and I ended up getting what feels to be cast out from the group. Maybe his friends didnt like him being so close with me but anyways that was the end of our friendship for years. I went home crying and so so hurt. man it was brutal. To this day I hate rejecting and being rejected.
e) bully and bullying - shaun?, punched in the face ::: again not a single experience, but the theme of me getting bullied and being a bully. sigh. anyways so the experience of getting punched in the face happened later in elementary and it was something like we were playing touch football or something and I remember what I will call now probably some dumb ass punk came up to me and was starting shit. I dont remember what I said, though I do remember I was holding the football, and I am pretty sure I was challenged or something but before I could do shit I was sacked in the face. The experience itself didnt really matter but what is most memorable was how "all?" the girls in the class, a bunch of them regardless, were like giving me so much TLC afterwards, which was completely alien to me. I was likely often quiet, shy, and uncomfortable around girls. I doubt I was approachable. I generally still am not. But upon this display of vulnerability, tied with their natures, led to this super weird phenomenon. Reminds me also of much much later at Brix when I was "sad josh" I got lots of love from various girls in that phase aswell as I was often sad as fuck. I got so much TLC from the Coles. Life life life.
I dont know if I was really bullied much, I consider myself more of a bully then bullied when I was younger. Which is more tragic then being bullied myself. I recall picking on my sis, on Christopher, I remember bullying a kid in day care.. sigh and later on in life this is still a theme. Why. Its nasty. I dont know I have any intention of making such things right, but I definitely dont want to push people so far.
f) leaving kingston for brampton ::: half way through grade 7, our family moved back to brampton. Or so I was told as I dont recall much life in brampton prior to kingston. Regardless this experience in particular makes the list in particular because I feel bad about what feels like a betrayal of my friend. I recall getting a card, with contact number, and felt the sincere desire that I would stay in contact, of which I did not. This happens in the future aswell. Not responding to farewell cards..
OTHER POTENTIALS FOR ONE
- though the program asks for 6 experiences I wouldnt mind go through these potentials in the future.
fainting and hallway destruction
the accusation
mazes
designing cities
laura?
the lost necklace?
high jump
kicking the wall and tantrums
jet and arachnophobia
empty pokemon battle in the park
--- TWO (brampton G7 to end of HS (2000-2007))
pre notes - this section is pretty huge, longer than the former and being later in life there could be much to recall. ill make a giant list and then select the most importants. from here forward I wont be using people real names. I am kinda bored atm, so maybe ill pick this up tomorrow. Though part of me wants to just hammer this section out to move on. blah.
- sigh. Philosophy and Programming class.
- mtg + various friend groups
- chess, chess tournament, tactics, award
- fashion show
- meeting phil
- football speech
- did you study? it shows. remember me when you have a famous game company
- maybe not an academic, 4.5
- Aman. others like you.
- Prom
- space vs time
- firedays and suspension
- Isa's party
- a bike in each hand
- unique attention in the lunch room
- orientation day
- pizza jobs
- sharpies
THEMES
the positive feminine response to duty
POTENTIALS FOR OTHER EPOCHS
meetup
--- PRE-NOTES
I am currently attempting to divide my life into epochs, and the first round roughly does it by grade and location, later it seems to relate more to subject matter of study. I wonder how the projects fit.
another issue is right now I only have 6 epochs. also JP mentions some people divide it by relationships and that seems to have some merit aswell.
ideally, perhaps, it would be sorted by adjective josh, by identities.
--- ONE-NOTES
the experiences mentioned are effected not potentially the best ones to choose, so I hope to adjust as things return.
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