Alfred Adler

1:The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge to conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation. ~ Alfred Adler,

2:reading :::
50 Psychology Classics: List of Books Covered:
Alfred Adler - Understanding Human Nature (1927)
Gordon Allport - The Nature of Prejudice (1954)
Albert Bandura - Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control (1997)
Gavin Becker - The Gift of Fear (1997)
Eric Berne - Games People Play (1964)
Isabel Briggs Myers - Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type (1980)
Louann Brizendine - The Female Brain (2006)
David D Burns - Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (1980)
Susan Cain - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (2012)
Robert Cialdini - Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (1984)
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Creativity (1997)
Carol Dweck - Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2006)
Albert Ellis & Robert Harper - (1961) A Guide To Rational Living(1961)
Milton Erickson - My Voice Will Go With You (1982) by Sidney Rosen
Eric Erikson - Young Man Luther (1958)
Hans Eysenck - Dimensions of Personality (1947)
Viktor Frankl - The Will to Meaning (1969)
Anna Freud - The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense (1936)
Sigmund Freud - The Interpretation of Dreams (1901)
Howard Gardner - Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences (1983)
Daniel Gilbert - Stumbling on Happiness (2006)
Malcolm Gladwell - Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (2005)
Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence at Work (1998)
John M Gottman - The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (1999)
Temple Grandin - The Autistic Brain: Helping Different Kinds of Minds Succeed (2013)
Harry Harlow - The Nature of Love (1958)
Thomas A Harris - I'm OK - You're OK (1967)
Eric Hoffer - The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements (1951)
Karen Horney - Our Inner Conflicts (1945)
William James - Principles of Psychology (1890)
Carl Jung - The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1953)
Daniel Kahneman - Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011)
Alfred Kinsey - Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953)
RD Laing - The Divided Self (1959)
Abraham Maslow - The Farther Reaches of Human Nature (1970)
Stanley Milgram - Obedience To Authority (1974)
Walter Mischel - The Marshmallow Test (2014)
Leonard Mlodinow - Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior (2012)
IP Pavlov - Conditioned Reflexes (1927)
Fritz Perls - Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality (1951)
Jean Piaget - The Language and Thought of the Child (1966)
Steven Pinker - The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature (2002)
VS Ramachandran - Phantoms in the Brain (1998)
Carl Rogers - On Becoming a Person (1961)
Oliver Sacks - The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat (1970)
Barry Schwartz - The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less (2004)
Martin Seligman - Authentic Happiness (2002)
BF Skinner - Beyond Freedom & Dignity (1953)
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen - Difficult Conversations (2000)
William Styron - Darkness Visible (1990)
~ Tom Butler-Bowdon, 50 Psychology Classics,

* WISDOM TROVE *

1:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her own life. ~ viktor-frankl, @wisdomtrove

* NEWFULLDB 2.4M *

1:My difficulties belong to me! ~ Alfred Adler,

2:My psychology belongs to everyone. ~ Alfred Adler,

3:Everything can always be different! ~ Alfred Adler,

4:To be human means to feel inferior. ~ Alfred Adler,

5:Every neurotic is partly in the right. ~ Alfred Adler,

6:Man knows much more than he understands. ~ Alfred Adler,

7:I am grateful for the idea that has used me. ~ Alfred Adler,

8:Follow your heart but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler,

9:There is no such thing as talent. There is pressure. ~ Alfred Adler,

10:All failures are so because they lack social interest. ~ Alfred Adler,

11:We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. ~ Alfred Adler,

12:It is very obvious that we are not influenced by "facts" ~ Alfred Adler,

13:Play is a child's work and this is not a trivial pursuit. ~ Alfred Adler,

14:War is organized murder and torture against our brothers. ~ Alfred Adler,

15:We must never neglect the patient's own use of his symptoms. ~ Alfred Adler,

16:It is the patriotic duty of every man to lie for his country. ~ Alfred Adler,

17:The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. ~ Alfred Adler,

18:There is a courage of happiness as well as a courage of sorrow. ~ Alfred Adler,

19:It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring. ~ Alfred Adler,

20:A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous. ~ Alfred Adler,

21:È sempre più facile combattere per i propri principi che seguirli. ~ Alfred Adler,

22:It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. ~ Alfred Adler,

23:It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. ~ Alfred Adler,

24:The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. ~ Alfred Adler,

25:Follow your heart always, and remember to take your head along with you. ~ Alfred Adler,

26:Exaggerated sensitiveness is an expression of the feeling of inferiority. ~ Alfred Adler,

27:It is always easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. ~ Alfred Adler,

28:The goal of the human soul is conquest, perfection, security, superiority. ~ Alfred Adler,

29:It is well known that those who do not trust themselves never trust others. ~ Alfred Adler,

30:The only worthwhile achievements of man are those which are socially useful. ~ Alfred Adler,

31:Overcoming difficulties leads to courage, self-respect, and knowing yourself. ~ Alfred Adler,

32:Our modern states are preparing for war without even knowing the future enemy. ~ Alfred Adler,

33:Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. ~ Alfred Adler,

34:To all those who walk the path of human cooperation war must appear loathsome and inhuman. ~ Alfred Adler,

35:Every pampered child becomes a hated child.... There is no greater evil than the pampering of children. ~ Alfred Adler,

36:seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another. ~ Alfred Adler,

37:Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations. ~ Alfred Adler,

38:The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even to murder, with the truth. ~ Alfred Adler,

39:Nobody adopts antisocial behaviour unless they fear that they will fail if they remain on the social side of life. ~ Alfred Adler,

40:The test of one's behavior pattern is their relationship to society, relationship to work and relationship to sex. ~ Alfred Adler,

41:Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; but only men of character are trusted. ~ Alfred Adler,

42:We learn in friendship to look with the eyes of another person, to listen with her ears, and to feel with her heart. ~ Alfred Adler,

43:There is only one reason for an individual to side-step to the useless side : the fear of a defeat on the useful side. ~ Alfred Adler,

44:What person, confined in a small room with nothing but a tea-cosy, will not eventually put the tea-cosy on their head? ~ Alfred Adler,

45:The widespread belief that Yuppies as a class would perish from Brie-cheese poisoning turned out to be over-optimistic. ~ Alfred Adler,

46:The style of life is a unity because it has grown out of the difficulties of early life and out of the striving for a goal. ~ Alfred Adler,

47:We cannot say that if a child is badly nourished he will become a criminal. We must see what conclusion the child has drawn. ~ Alfred Adler,

48:Distorted history boasts of bellicose glory... and seduces the souls of boys to seek mystical bliss in bloodshed and in battles. ~ Alfred Adler,

49:Violence as a way of gaining power... is being camouflaged under the guise of tradition, national honor [and] national security. ~ Alfred Adler,

50:War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. ~ Alfred Adler,

51:Life is just the same as learning to swim. Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live! ~ Alfred Adler,

52:The science of human nature… finds itself today in the position that chemistry occupied in the days of alchemy.” Alfred Adler ~ Tom Butler Bowdon,

53:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

54:You can be healed of depression if every day you begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you will bring a real joy to someone else. ~ Alfred Adler,

55:No man can think, feel, will, nor even dream, without everything being defined, conditioned, limited, directed by a goal which floats before him. ~ Alfred Adler,

56:If you wish to educate a child who has gone wrong, then you must, above all, keep your attention fixed on the intersection of two charmed circles. ~ Alfred Adler,

57:To injure another person through atonement is one of the most subtle devices of the neurotic, as when, for example, he indulges in self-accusations. ~ Alfred Adler,

58:The educator must believe in the potential power of his pupil, and he must employ all his art in seeking to bring his pupil to experience this power. ~ Alfred Adler,

59:Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. Hector Berlioz It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. ~ Alfred Adler,

60:The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge to conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation. ~ Alfred Adler,

61:Every individual acts and suffers in accordance with his peculiar teleology, which has all the inevitability of fate, so long as he does not understand it. ~ Alfred Adler,

62:He used to say to his melancholia patients: "You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription.Try to think every day how you can please someone. ~ Alfred Adler,

63:He used to say to his melancholia patients:
"You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription.Try to think every day how you can please someone. ~ Alfred Adler,

64:The science of the mind can only have for its proper goal the understanding of human nature by every human being, and through its use, brings peace to every human soul. ~ Alfred Adler,

65:What is courage? Courage is the willingness to risk failure...There is only one danger I find in life, and that, indeed, is a real one. You may take too many precautions. ~ Alfred Adler,

66:All failures - neurotics, psychotics, criminals, drunkards, problem children, suicides, perverts, and prostitutes - are failures because they are lacking in social interest ~ Alfred Adler,

67:No experience is a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences, so-called trauma - but we make out of them just what suits our purposes. ~ Alfred Adler,

68:Tears and complaints - the means which I have called water power - can be an extremely useful weapon for disturbing cooperation and reducing other to a condition of slavery. ~ Alfred Adler,

69:If I didn't have this affliction, I would be the first. As a rule the if-clause contains an unfulfillable condition, or the patient's own arrangement, which only he can change. ~ Alfred Adler,

70:It is one of the most effective attitudes of the neurotic to measure thumbs down, so to speak, a real person by an ideal, since in doing so he can depreciate him as much as he wishes. ~ Alfred Adler,

71:The mathematical life of a mathematician is short. Work rarely improves after the age of twenty-five or thirty. If little has been accomplished by then, little will ever be accomplished. ~ Alfred Adler,

72:In the investigation of a neurotic style of life, we must always suspect an opponent, and note who suffers most because of the patient's condition. Usually this is a member of the family. ~ Alfred Adler,

73:A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view. ~ Alfred Adler,

74:It is one of the triumphs of human wit ... to conquer by humility and submissiveness ... to make oneself small in order to appear great ... such ... are often the expedients of the neurotic. ~ Alfred Adler,

75:Mathematics is pure language - the language of science. It is unique among languages in its ability to provide precise expression for every thought or concept that can be formulated in its terms. ~ Alfred Adler,

76:To see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, to feel with the heart of another. For the time being, this seems to me an admissible definition of what we call social feeling. ~ Alfred Adler,

77:The feeling of inferiority rules the mental life and can be clearly recognized in the sense of incompleteness and unfulfillment, and in the uninterrupted struggle both of individuals and humanity. ~ Alfred Adler,

78:There is a law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few hundred years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish. ~ Alfred Adler,

79:In this case, the neurotic resembles a human being who looks up to God, commends himself to His ways, and then religiously awaits how the Lord will guide him; he is nailed to the cross of his fiction. ~ Alfred Adler,

80:More important than innate disposition, objective experience, and environment is the subjective evaluation of these. Furthermore, this evaluation stands in a certain, often strange, relation to reality. ~ Alfred Adler,

81:It is easy to believe that life is long and one's gifts are vast -- easy at the beginning, that is. But the limits of life grow more evident; it becomes clear that great work can be done rarely, if at all. ~ Alfred Adler,

82:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The great task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

83:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

84:The self-bound individual always forgets that his self would be safeguarded better and automatically the more he prepares himself for the welfare of mankind, and that in this respect no limits are set for him. ~ Alfred Adler,

85:It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring ~ Alfred Adler,

86:Every therapeutic cure, and still more, any awkward attempt to show the patient the truth, tears him from the cradle of his freedom from responsibility and must therefore reckon with the most vehement resistance. ~ Alfred Adler,

87:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her own life. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

88:It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is fro+m among such individuals that all human failures spring. ~ Alfred Adler,

89:Death is really a great blessing for humanity, without it there could be no real progress. People who lived for ever would not only hamper and discourage the young, but they would themselves lack sufficient stimulus to be creative. ~ Alfred Adler,

90:This quote begins here. A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view. This quote ends here. ~ Alfred Adler,

91:God who is eternally complete, who directs the stars, who is the master of fates, who elevates man from his lowliness to Himself, who speaks from the cosmos to every single human soul, is the most brilliant manifestation of the goal of perfection. ~ Alfred Adler,

92:Each generation has its few great mathematicians, and mathematics would not even notice the absence of the others. They are useful as teachers, and their research harms no one, but it is of no importance at all. A mathematician is great or he is nothing. ~ Alfred Adler,

93:To be a human being means to possess a feeling of inferiority which constantly presses towards its own conquest. The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge for conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation. ~ Alfred Adler,

94:Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. ~ Dale Carnegie,

95:In a country of such recent civilization as ours, whose almost limitless treasures of material wealth invite the risks of capital and the industry of labor, it is but natural that material interests should absorb the attention of the people to a degree elsewhere unknown. ~ Alfred Adler,

96:In the company of friends, writers can discuss their books, economists the state of the economy, lawyers their latest cases, and businessmen their latest acquisitions, but mathematicians cannot discuss their mathematics at all. And the more profound their work, the less understandable it is. ~ Alfred Adler,

97:Far more unwaveringly, the neurotic keeps before his eye his God, his idol, his ideal of personality and clings to his guiding principle, losing sight in the meanwhile of reality, whereas the normal person is always ready to dispense with this crutch, this aid, and reckon unhampered with reality. ~ Alfred Adler,

98:We are self-determined by the meaning we give to our experiences; and there is probably something of a mistake always involved when we take particular experiences as the basis for our future life. Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations. There ~ Alfred Adler,

99:We are not determined by our experiences, but are self-determined by the meaning we give to them; and when we take particular experiences as the basis for our future life, we are almost certain to be misguided to some degree. Meanings are not determined by situations. We determine ourselves by the meanings we ascribe to situations. ~ Alfred Adler,

100:We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a "getaway." We cannot love and be limited. ~ Alfred Adler,

101:Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: ‘It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring. ~ Dale Carnegie,

102:Courage is not an ability one either possess or lacks. Courage is the willingness to engage in a risk-taking behavior regardless of whether the consequences are unknown or possibly adverse. We are capable of courageous behavior provided we are willing to engage in it. Given that life offers few guarantees, all living requires risk-taking. ~ Alfred Adler,

103:Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: ‘It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.’ You ~ Dale Carnegie,

104:The striving for significance, this sense of yearning, always points out to us that all psychological phenomena contain a movement that starts from a feeling of inferiority and reach upward. The theory of Individual Psychology of psychological compensation states that the stronger the feeling of inferiority, the higher the goal for personal power. ~ Alfred Adler,

105:Alfred Adler was a member of Freud’s original inner circle, but broke away because he disagreed that sex was the prime mover behind human behavior. He was more interested in how our early environments shape us, believing that we all seek greater power by trying to make up for what we perceive we lacked in childhood—his famous theory of “compensation. ~ Tom Butler Bowdon,

106:we limit ourselves to normal cases of mutual influence, we find that those people are most capable of being influenced who are most amenable to reason and logic, those whose social feeling has been least distorted. On the contrary, those who thirst for superiority and desire domination are very difficult to influence. Observation teaches us this fact every day. ~ Alfred Adler,

107:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

108:The Adlerians, in the name of "individual psychology," take the side of society against the individual. ... Adler's later thought succumbs to the worst of his earlier banalization. It is conventional, practical, and moralistic. "Our science ... is based on common sense." Common sense, the half-truths of a deceitful society, is honored as the honest truths of a frank world. ~ Alfred Adler,

109:An educator's most important task, one might say his holy duty, is to see to it that no child is discouraged at school, and that a child who enters school already discouraged regains his self-confidence through his school and his teacher. This goes hand in hand with the vocation of the educator, for education is possible only with children who look hopefully and joyfully upon the future. ~ Alfred Adler,

110:What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live! ~ Alfred Adler,

111:A fight with a child is always a losing fight: he can never be beaten or won to cooperation by fighting. In these struggles the weakest always carries the day. Something is demanded of him which he refuses to give; something which can never be gained by such means. An incalculable amount of tension and useless effort would be spared in this world if we realized that cooperation and love can never be won by force. ~ Alfred Adler,

112:These three ties, therefore, set three problems: how to find an. occupation which will enable us to survive under the limitations set by the nature of the earth; how to find a position among our fellows, so that we may cooperate and share the benefits of cooperation; how to accommodate ourselves to the fact that we live in two sexes and that the continuance and furtherance of mankind depends upon our love-life. Individual ~ Alfred Adler,

113:The human mind shows an urge to capture into fixed forms through unreal assumptions, that is, fictions, that which is chaotic, always in flux, and incomprehensible. Serving this urge, the child quite generally uses a scheme in order to act and to find his way. We proceed much the same when we divide the earth by meridians and parallels, for only thus do we obtain fixed points which we can bring into a relationship with one another. ~ Alfred Adler,

114:A private meaning is in fact no meaning at all. Meaning is only possible in communication: a word which meant something to one person only would really be meaningless. It is the same with our aims and actions; their only meaning is their meaning for others. Every human being strives for significance; but people always make mistakes if they do not see that their whole significance must consist in their contribution to the lives of others. An ~ Alfred Adler,

115:A story is told of Alfred Adler, one of Freud’s early followers, who once interviewed a prospective patient at great length, taking a detailed family history, and getting as elaborate an account as possible of what the man was suffering from. At the end of this three-hour consultation Adler apparently said to the man, ‘What would you do if you were cured?’ The man answered him, and Adler said, ‘Well, go and do it then.’ That was the treatment. ~ Adam Phillips,

116:Terrible as it was, his experience in Auschwitz reinforced what was already one of his key ideas: Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during diffcult times. ~ Anonymous,

117:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to ~ Viktor E Frankl,

118:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

119:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point, Frankl writes that a person “may ~ Viktor E Frankl,

120:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The great task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person, as Frankl held on to the image of his wife through the darkest days in Auschwitz), and in courage in difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

121:There is no thing as a man who does not create mathematics and yet is a fine mathematics teacher. Textbooks, course material-these do not approach in importance the communication of what mathematics is really about, of where it is going, and of where it currently stands with respect to the specific branch of it being taught. What really matters is the communication of the spirit of mathematics. It is a spirit that is active rather than contemplative-a spirit of disciplined search for adventures of the intellect. Only as adventurer can really tell of adventures. ~ Alfred Adler,

122:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point, Frankl writes that a person “may remain brave, dignified and unselfish, or ~ Viktor E Frankl,

123:It was only because men learned to cooperate that we could make the great discovery of the division of labor; a discovery which is the chief security for the welfare of mankind. To preserve human life would not be possible if each individual attempted to wrest a living from the earth by himself with no cooperation and no results of cooperation in the past. Through the division of labor we can use the results of many different kinds of training and organize many different abilities so that all of them contribute to the common welfare and guarantee relief from insecurity and increased opportunity for all the members of society. It ~ Alfred Adler,

124:We want you to take a minute to identify your very first memory. After you have rummaged through your old-memories store, write down the specifics of the memory. What exactly happened? When? Who was—and was not—there? What about your memory is crystal-clear, and what is missing or foggy? After you’ve settled upon a version of the experience, shift your focus to the thoughts, especially the feelings surrounding them. Be patient. It’s likely that details will surface at their own pace. Once you’re comfortable that you’ve recaptured your first memory, continue on with your reading and rejoin us. Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler felt that ~ Philip G Zimbardo,

125:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point, Frankl writes that a person “may remain brave, dignified and unselfish, or in the bitter Fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

126:15 yaşındaki bir kız kendisine çocukluğundan beri küçük kardeşlerine oranla haksız davranıldığı kanaatindedir. Kendi hareket kanununu oluştururken hayatta en önemli şeyin sıcaklık ve şımartılmak olduğunu esas kabul eder. Okulda kendine iyi bir durum oluşturmayı başarır fakat yeni gelen öğretmen onu sevmez, özellikle kötü muamele eder. Bu kez çocukluktan beri var olan kıskançlık ve aşağılık duygusu, sıcaklık ve şımartılma konusunda başka bir yöne kayar. Artık ev ve okul onu tatmin etmediğine göre geriye erkekler tarafından şımartılmaktan başka bir yol yoktur. Aradan geçen bir müddetin sonunda bunda da aradığını bulamaz ve bununla aradığı sıcaklığa ulaşamadığı sonucuna ulaşır. Bundan sonra geriye tek seçenek kalır; intihar… ~ Alfred Adler,

127:In man a working level of narcissism is inseparable from self-esteem, from a basic sense of self-worth. We have learned, mostly from Alfred Adler, that what man needs most is to feel secure in his self-esteem. But man is not just a blind glob of idling protoplasm, but a creature with a name who lives in a world of symbols, on an abstract idea of his own worth, an idea composed of sounds, words, and images, in the air, in the mind, on paper. And this means that man's natural yearning for organismic activity, the pleasures of incorporation and expansion, can be fed limitlessly in the domain of symbols and so into immortality. The single organism can expand into dimensions of worlds and times without moving a physical limb; it can take eternity into itself even as it gaspingly dies. ~ Ernest Becker,

128:Typical calculated ends might include “to impose my ideological beliefs,” “to prove that I am (or was) right,” “to appear competent,” “to ratchet myself up the dominance hierarchy,” “to avoid responsibility” (or its twin, “to garner credit for others’ actions”), “to be promoted,” “to attract the lion’s share of attention,” “to ensure that everyone likes me,” “to garner the benefits of martyrdom,” “to justify my cynicism,” “to rationalize my antisocial outlook,” “to minimize immediate conflict,” “to maintain my naïveté,” “to capitalize on my vulnerability,” “to always appear as the sainted one,” or (this one is particularly evil) “to ensure that it is always my unloved child’s fault.” These are all examples of what Sigmund Freud’s compatriot, the lesser-known Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, called “life-lies. ~ Jordan Peterson,

129:Typical calculated ends might include “to impose my ideological beliefs,” “to prove that I am (or was) right,” “to appear competent,” “to ratchet myself up the dominance hierarchy,” “to avoid responsibility” (or its twin, “to garner credit for others’ actions”), “to be promoted,” “to attract the lion’s share of attention,” “to ensure that everyone likes me,” “to garner the benefits of martyrdom,” “to justify my cynicism,” “to rationalize my antisocial outlook,” “to minimize immediate conflict,” “to maintain my naïveté,” “to capitalize on my vulnerability,” “to always appear as the sainted one,” or (this one is particularly evil) “to ensure that it is always my unloved child’s fault.” These are all examples of what Sigmund Freud’s compatriot, the lesser-known Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, called “life-lies. ~ Jordan B Peterson,

130:Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point, Frankl writes that a person “may remain brave, dignified and unselfish, or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal.” He concedes that only a few prisoners of the Nazis were able to do the former, “but even one such example is sufficient proof that man’s inner strength may raise him above his outward fate. ~ Viktor E Frankl,

131:Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist and Nazi concentration camp survivor who wrote the classic Man’s Search for Meaning, drew a similar social-psychological conclusion: deceitful, inauthentic individual existence is the precursor to social totalitarianism. Sigmund Freud, for his part, analogously believed that “repression” contributed in a non-trivial manner to the development of mental illness (and the difference between repression of truth and a lie is a matter of degree, not kind). Alfred Adler knew it was lies that bred sickness. C.G. Jung knew that moral problems plagued his patients, and that such problems were caused by untruth. All these thinkers, all centrally concerned with pathology both individual and cultural, came to the same conclusion: lies warp the structure of Being. Untruth corrupts the soul and the state alike, and one form of corruption feeds the other. ~ Jordan Peterson,

132:Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist and Nazi concentration camp survivor who wrote the classic Man’s Search for Meaning, drew a similar social-psychological conclusion: deceitful, inauthentic individual existence is the precursor to social totalitarianism. Sigmund Freud, for his part, analogously believed that “repression” contributed in a non-trivial manner to the development of mental illness (and the difference between repression of truth and a lie is a matter of degree, not kind). Alfred Adler knew it was lies that bred sickness. C.G. Jung knew that moral problems plagued his patients, and that such problems were caused by untruth. All these thinkers, all centrally concerned with pathology both individual and cultural, came to the same conclusion: lies warp the structure of Being. Untruth corrupts the soul and the state alike, and one form of corruption feeds the other. ~ Jordan B Peterson,

133:a woman who contributes to the life of mankind by the occupation of motherhood is taking as high a place in the division of human labor as anyone else could take. If she is interested in the lives of her children and is paving the way for them to become fellow men, if she is spreading their interests and training them to cooperate, her work is so valuable that it can never be rightly rewarded. In our own culture the work of a mother is undervalued and often regarded as a not very attractive or estimable occupation. It is paid only indirectly and a woman who makes it her main occupation is generally placed in a position of economic dependence. The success of the family, however, rests equally upon the work of the mother and the work of the father. Whether the mother keeps house or works independently, her work as a mother does not play a lower role than the work of her husband. ~ Alfred Adler,

134:filled with all kinds of fun stuff: golf clubs, jet skis, mountain bikes, you name it. For many of them, “fun” has become an addiction. But as with most addictive substances, people build up a tolerance. So despite all the “fun” things people do, they’re still not having fun. What’s really missing is a sense of joy. People find that they no longer feel an authentic joyfulness in living, despite all the fun stuff they have or do. And this is the case whether they’re male or female, young or old, rich or poor, or at any stage of life. What’s happened to people is that they’ve lost a delicate, but critical, component of aliveness and well-being—they’ve lost their eccentricities. It happens to many of us as we grow up and make our way in the world. We fit in. We see how other people survive and we copy their style—same as everyone else. Swept along by the myriad demands of day-to-day living, we stop making choices of our own. Or even realizing that we have choices to make. We lose the wonderful weird edges that define us. We cover up the eccentricities that make us unique. Alfred Adler, the great 20th century psychologist and educator, considered these eccentricities a vital part of a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. Ironically, 14 Repacking Your Bags ~ Anonymous,

135:For example, Nancy Cantor and Hazel Markus, leading contemporary cognitive motivational theorists, view motivation as a product of self-knowledge. Self-knowledge obviously includes knowledge about one's emotions and their motivational consequences, but for Cantor and Markus motives are products of the self as much as contributors to it. Key to their theory is the notion of a working self, an on-the-fly construction about who we are that reflects who we've been (past selves), and who we want don't want to be (future selves). In contrast to earlier self theorists, such as Alfred Adler, who viewed the self as a static and enduring entity, Cantor and Markus view the self as a dynamic and mutable construction that changes in different situations-we have different goals when at home than when on the job, for example, and the working self in each situation reflects such differences. One's working self is thus a subset of the universe of possible self-concepts that can occur at any one time-it is the subset that is available to the thinking conscious person at a particular moment, and is determined in part by memory and expectation, and in part by the immediate situation. These features of the working self explain how one can have both stable and mutable motives, and how motives can be conflicting or dissonant. The working self is a central part of one's mental apparatus. It influences perception, attention, thinking, memory, retrieval, and storage, and guides action. ~ Joseph E LeDoux,

136:And so, beginning with the small early frustrations and deprivations, the child is helped to govern himself. his ego develops by learning to regulate his own food intake and feces evacuation: he has to learn to adapt to a social schedule, to an external measure of time, in place of a biological schedule of internal urges. In all this he makes a bitter discovery: that he is no longer himself, just by seeking pleasure. There may be more excitement in the world but the fun keep getting interrupted. For some strange reason the mother doesn’t share his glee over a bowel movement on the sofa. The child finds that he has to “earn" the mother’s love by performing in a certain way. He comes to realize that he has to abandon the idea of “total excitement" and “uninterrupted fun," if he wants to keep a secure background of love from the mother. This is what Alfred Adler meant when he spoke of the child’s need for affection as the “lever" of his education. The child learns to accept frustrations so long as the total relationship is not endangered. This is what the psychoanalytic word “ambivalence" so nicely covers: the child may hesitate between giving up what has previously been an assured satisfaction, and proceeding to a new type of conduct which will be rewarded by a new kind of acceptance. Does he want to keep the breast instead of switching to the bottle? He finds that if he makes this switch he gets a special cooing of praise and a little extra attention. Ambivalence describes the process whereby the infant is propelled forward into increasing mastery by his developing ego, while at the same time he is lulled backward into a safe dependence by his need for approval and easy gratification; he is caught in the bind, as we all are, between new and uncertain rewards and tried and tested ones. ~ Ernest Becker,

137:reading :::
50 Psychology Classics: List of Books Covered:
Alfred Adler - Understanding Human Nature (1927)
Gordon Allport - The Nature of Prejudice (1954)
Albert Bandura - Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control (1997)
Gavin Becker - The Gift of Fear (1997)
Eric Berne - Games People Play (1964)
Isabel Briggs Myers - Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type (1980)
Louann Brizendine - The Female Brain (2006)
David D Burns - Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (1980)
Susan Cain - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (2012)
Robert Cialdini - Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (1984)
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Creativity (1997)
Carol Dweck - Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2006)
Albert Ellis & Robert Harper - (1961) A Guide To Rational Living(1961)
Milton Erickson - My Voice Will Go With You (1982) by Sidney Rosen
Eric Erikson - Young Man Luther (1958)
Hans Eysenck - Dimensions of Personality (1947)
Viktor Frankl - The Will to Meaning (1969)
Anna Freud - The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense (1936)
Sigmund Freud - The Interpretation of Dreams (1901)
Howard Gardner - Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences (1983)
Daniel Gilbert - Stumbling on Happiness (2006)
Malcolm Gladwell - Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (2005)
Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence at Work (1998)
John M Gottman - The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (1999)
Temple Grandin - The Autistic Brain: Helping Different Kinds of Minds Succeed (2013)
Harry Harlow - The Nature of Love (1958)
Thomas A Harris - I'm OK - You're OK (1967)
Eric Hoffer - The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements (1951)
Karen Horney - Our Inner Conflicts (1945)
William James - Principles of Psychology (1890)
Carl Jung - The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1953)
Daniel Kahneman - Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011)
Alfred Kinsey - Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953)
RD Laing - The Divided Self (1959)
Abraham Maslow - The Farther Reaches of Human Nature (1970)
Stanley Milgram - Obedience To Authority (1974)
Walter Mischel - The Marshmallow Test (2014)
Leonard Mlodinow - Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior (2012)
IP Pavlov - Conditioned Reflexes (1927)
Fritz Perls - Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality (1951)
Jean Piaget - The Language and Thought of the Child (1966)
Steven Pinker - The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature (2002)
VS Ramachandran - Phantoms in the Brain (1998)
Carl Rogers - On Becoming a Person (1961)
Oliver Sacks - The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat (1970)
Barry Schwartz - The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less (2004)
Martin Seligman - Authentic Happiness (2002)
BF Skinner - Beyond Freedom & Dignity (1953)
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen - Difficult Conversations (2000)
William Styron - Darkness Visible (1990)
~ Tom Butler-Bowdon, 50 Psychology Classics,

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