But what does it mean? I can only be well when… there’s no I.
I have been asking myself a question.
Ah?
About that new consciousness. I can grasp (or guess) its contemplative or passive aspect, but not so well its dynamic or active aspect. I don’t quite see how it ACTS—I understand the contemplative part, but how does it act?
I don’t know. I have no idea.
But do you act or are you simply in…?
Yes, I act. But what exactly do you mean?… Yes, I act!
For example, when you are inside, in an inner state….
But I act much better than when—I appear to be inside, but that’s not so. Everybody makes the same mistake.
Yes, but I fully understand.
When I am concentrated in that way, it’s not that I am inside, I am in another kind of consciousness.
And it’s vast, vast, vast, vast—vast.
Yes, but it’s the active side of that consciousness that I don’t….
But it doesn’t have any side! It’s a consciousness (gesture of pressure from above)…. It has no side, it isn’t passive or active—it’s a consciousness… (same gesture of pressure) a consciousness pressing on the world.
(silence)
You see, you’re trying to translate it mentally, which is impossible—impossible. You have to enter that consciousness… then only will you know what it is. There’s no active or passive, no inside or outside—all that is replaced by something else… which I can’t describe…. There are no words for it.
But for instance, personally, whenever I try to go there, into that consciousness, my main impression is of nonexistence.
Ah, no!
Individual nonexistence, I mean.
No….
It’s wide, it’s vast, but there’s no more person, no more individual.
No. That’s not it…. For me, all that is the past… (silence). Yes, I quite understand what you mean….
(Mother plunges in)
***
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