We were in the subtle physical. I saw lots of people: Purani (a departed disciple) and so on, people who are no longer on earth. It was in Sri Aurobindo’s … not his house, but his domain. I saw and did lots of things. There were people who are on earth and people who are no longer on earth: they were all together. And at the end (for many details Sri Aurobindo was there, then he left), at the end I looked at all that, and for the first time in the subtle physical, I said, “Oh, how insipid and useless and without zest your life is, when you don’t think of the Divine.”
The experience was so acute! So acute. Then I said (among the people there, there was Purani, and as I said people who are on earth), I told them, “On earth, there is that intensity of aspiration, but here … life is so easy, so easy! Look at all your activities and all that, oh, it has no zest, because there isn’t that intense need to live for the Divine.” And it was so strong that for hours in the morning it was like that (gesture of intense aspiration). Life anywhere—anywhere, in any part of the world (of the universe) and in any conditions, even the easiest and harmonious, is not worth living without this intensity of aspiration, of the NEED to be divine.
It’s the first time.
In the past, when I went to all those regions, there were always very interesting things; and in the subtle physical, as a rule I was always with Sri Aurobindo—I was with Sri Aurobindo, but he withdrew to a part of his domain and I remained with all the others: they had an easy life, you know, carefree, and all they did seemed so … meaningless. Why? Why all that, why keep oneself busy, why do all those things if it’s not for this aspiration, if it’s not for this need to be and become the Divine?
But it’s the first time, and it lingered on: for hours this morning, I was like this (gesture of intense aspiration).
There.
As a result, my impression was that unless the whole universe becomes THAT, well … what’s the use? All, all that isn’t Consciousness, the supreme consciousness, I mean, yes, supreme and supremely divine, all the rest … It’s the first time I’ve felt so intensely the uselessness of all outward activities—their uselessness IN THEMSELVES, like a blossoming, because when there is the divine Play, then the same things become lovely, it all becomes interesting, but in themselves, for themselves, they are NOTHING. It’s the first time I have felt that so intensely. Because I felt it in the subtle world (in the material world it’s always mixed with all kinds of trouble and effort and difficulty, so it’s completely different), there, things are absolutely free of difficulties, completely harmonious, really, and it was NOTHING. You understand, when Sri Aurobindo was there, it was perfect, but when he withdrew … tasteless.
And it’s the PHYSICAL consciousness that has those experiences at night: the body remains in trance, it’s the physical consciousness; it was the physical consciousness, but in a subtle physical freed from all difficulties—and it was no better. You know, it was like a reply to the ambition of people here on earth who want life to be pleasant, easy, without difficulties, without conflicts and clashes and diseases and … they say, “Oh, how charming all would be!”—It’s not true: if THAT isn’t there, empty.
The experience was very interesting.
***
Soon afterwards
I have a whole correspondence in French with S., who is learning French and puts questions to me. So (Mother shows a sheet of paper), here is the latest one, from yesterday, because I had told him a story:
You know that I always keep a Transformation flower here (Mother points to her buttonhole); I keep it the whole morning, and when I take off my dress in the afternoon for a bath, the flower is naturally in a pitiful condition—so I used to throw it away. But one day, S. had sent me roses in a glass of water, and it was on my dressing table; I took the Transformation flower and put it in the water, and when I came back from my bath it was magnificent, far fresher and stronger than when I had received it! I kept it the whole night, kept it the next day, it was unchanged! It remained just as fresh. Then the next day, I sent him the flower back in his glass, and when he came to see me in the afternoon, I told him the story. I said, “Did you get the Transformation flower? This is what happened….” The next day, he wrote me this:
“Does the transformation not demand a very high degree of aspiration, surrender and receptivity?”
I replied:
“The transformation demands a total and integral consecration. But is that not the aspiration of every sincere sadhak?
“‘Total’ means …
Yes, it was on the following page (because I thought, “This man will wonder why I put ‘total and integral’ when the two words seem to mean the same thing”). So I gave him the explanation:
“‘Total’ means VERTICALLY in all the states of being from the most material to the most subtle. ‘Integral’ means HORIZONTALLY in all the various and often contradictory parts that make up the outer being (physical, vital and mental).”
***
(Then Mother listens to the reading of more unpublished letters of Sri Aurobindo’s:)
“How can I receive Sri Aurobindo’s light in the mind?”
“It can always come if you aspire patiently. But the basic condition, if you want that light, is to get rid of all other mental influences.”
“What is the meaning of ‘to get rid of all other mental influences’? Is it this that I had better not read any other books except Sri Aurobindo’s or not try to learn anything by hearing or admiring others?”
“It is not a question of books or learning facts. When a woman loves or admires, her mind is instinctively moulded by the one she loves or admires, and this influence remains after the feeling itself has gone or appears to be gone. This does not refer to X’s influence merely. It is the general rule given to keep yourself free from any other admiration or influence.”
May 30, 1932
This is something people don’t generally know. It’s very true, but they don’t know it. When they start admiring all sorts of things, it becomes a hodgepodge.
(silence)
This is one of the things I’ve learned lately by experience—universalisation, the contact with everything (horizontal gesture)—and it has been shown to the body in such a precise way, in the detail of the vibration…. In the state of receptivity (vertical gesture to the Heights), of receptive passivity (the opposite of action, that is), the body must be turned exclusively to the Supreme (same vertical gesture): the body and the cells have been taught that, and they’ve understood—they’ve understood and are now used to it. In the state of action (horizontal gesture), when you are one with (well, let’s limit the problem to the earth), one with the whole earth, there must be an ACTIVE radiating vibration of the supreme Force. Receptivity like this (vertical gesture that receives the Force), and activity like this (horizontal gesture that spreads the Force out). And the cells have felt, they’ve understood, they can do it. And the relationship with everything around you, down to the smallest detail, is something so wonderful, with an influence radiating farther and farther away.
When you realize those two attitudes simultaneously, the contagion is abolished: the mental contagion (the one Sri Aurobindo refers to here, the one you get when you “admire” something), the mental contagion, the vital contagion, and EVEN THE PHYSICAL CONTAGION—when the cells realize that, you stop catching illnesses. Because formerly (for a long time), whenever something occurred in the sphere of influence of the action, there used to be a repercussion (in Mother). For a very long time, it was dangerous. Then it became reduced to a sense of unease which would become conscious, and conscious of the why—the why and the how. It was reduced to a state of unease, but it was still … tiresome. And now it’s a kind of … I can’t say “knowledge,” because it’s not mental, but an awareness (there’s no word for it in French), a perception—and nothing more, it doesn’t have any action (that is, any repercussion in Mother’s body). So then, the whole problem lies there:
There are those who found this, the vertical ascent to the heights, and who isolated themselves from the world (they weren’t able to do that completely because they didn’t have the knowledge, but they tried). That’s not the solution. Then there are those who want to help, the generous ones who are like this (gesture of horizontal expansion), and who catch everything, even the mental illnesses of all the people around them. The truth is the two together: this, the passive, receptive state (vertical gesture), and that, the active state of action and radiating influence (horizontal gesture). And the body has become wholly conscious of the dual movement and is working to realize it in detail.
A great problem has been solved.
And it’s interesting because those two attitudes can be almost simultaneous, but they are … From the standpoint of vibration, of vibratory sensation, they are two opposites that combine with each other: receptivity like this (gesture), towards the Consciousness, the Force, Power, Light, all, that comes from above, and naturally Love (but about Love I will speak later). And it comes (gesture of descent), it comes down and everything, everything is ab-so-lute-ly passive and receptive (gesture of vertical opening): it absorbs and absorbs and absorbs, like that, totally given, in the state of a sponge that absorbs and absorbs and absorbs…. At the same time, there is the relationship with the world (horizontal gesture) and the Power coming through and working, with the sense of the Force, the Action, the Thing imposing itself. It’s magnificent. And in the SAME vibratory radiance of … of “That.” Always the same all-powerful Perfection being absorbed and acting (gesture of flowing through Mother over the world in a perpetual movement).
That seems to be the secret of all-powerfulness. There is no need at all to go through mental knowledge—that diminishes, shrinks, hardens.
It’s an acute state of consciousness, that is, wholly awakened. In the cells of the body, it dispels all darkness. Naturally, it’s a long and slow work, but it dispels, it’s a state that dispels all darkness everywhere. And darkness is always the sign (sign or cause) of a disorder. We know there is still plenty of it. It’s a slow work, a whole world! When you … (how should I put it?) when you descend into (one can say descend or concentrate on) this cellular constitution of the body, on the body’s scale, it’s an innumerable world! An innumerable world. Everything is as though made up of innumerable tiny points, and each point has to be awakened and flooded with consciousness and light—a long work.
(silence)
So it’s the solution to these two errors that constantly contradict each other: the error of shrinking, of an exclusivism of influence (which, when practiced on the mental level, becomes a limitation, a pettiness, like all exclusive faiths); or else eclecticism without effect or force, which makes a sort of muddle of everything, of all ideas (mentally it doesn’t matter, but on the level of the transformation, it’s serious). So for these two opposites the problem has been solved.
And the state I’ve just described is possible in the body’s cells and in the corporeal consciousness, also in the psychic consciousness; but vitally and mentally, even if you understand, it seems like an almost impossible realization because of a fixity, a fixity in the form: the form of thoughts and the form of sensations. Mentally it could only be expressed as an acceptance of all thoughts, all formulae, raising them up towards … something that’s no longer a thought, no longer a mentally formulated thing, but a light, a conscious light that organises and unifies. But if you take them all on the same plane … You can accept everything, but everything as one viewpoint—one among innumerable viewpoints on “something” that cannot be expressed in words, because as soon as you put words on it, it becomes a formula, and the formula takes the power away. But physically, in the body’s cells, it’s very, very clearly perceptible and is lived quite spontaneously: you receive only from on high, and you spread it.
***
December 2, 1967
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