(Regarding the storm that coincided with Kali Puja.)
Your home isn’t flooded, is it? In the room over there, water fell on the table beside my chair, so I put a flower pot and gave people all the wet flowers!
Has Kali calmed down?
(Laughing) Maybe she got dampened!
She laughed…. She can laugh, too!
***
(The conversation turns to Mother’s Playground Talks between 1950 and 1958. Satprem is preparing their first publication and complains that he cannot trace the original texts:)
Q. was quite free in her movements, there are even some Talks which she destroyed—she didn’t like them!
For a long time I used the Talks Q. had left, until the day when I realized they were totally truncated. Then I finally discovered another collection, but I have realized that that too is not the absolute original. So every time it’s a huge work to collect everything together again in order to reconstruct the exact original.
But who did the recording?
In the beginning it was a “wire recording”; as there wasn’t enough material, it used to be transcribed and then erased. But if at least the original notation could be traced … Only, the “original” I’ve found was altered, it’s not the original anymore!
Oh, when one speaks, one makes all kinds of mistakes, the sentences are unfinished …
But that doesn’t matter! I have noticed (because I’ve been doing this work for years now), I’ve noticed that even when a sentence is incomplete, it’s worth it to leave it as it is, incomplete, because there is a kind of inner rhythm in what is said which is destroyed if you don’t leave the thing as it is.
Oh, I was able to tell when it came from above…. It wasn’t always the same: on certain days when I spoke, it wasn’t the consciousness here, it would come like that (gesture of descent), and even when, as you say, the sentences were unfinished, it was all, all with a conscious Will.
On other days it was much more superficial—it was unimportant, of far less value.
***
Mother goes into a long contemplation:
A very difficult time.
(long silence)
In the middle of my work and … nothing to say, it’s impossible. Impossible.
The most difficult thing in the material world, here, is to fight against the result of all those millennia of experiences that have created a sort of pessimistic and defeatist consciousness—a general consciousness, you know, like this (gesture enveloping the earth). It isn’t formulated in words, but for that consciousness it can be expressed thus, “Yes, we don’t deny the existence of all those divine things, but they aren’t for us, they’re for …” (gesture to the heights)
Quite miserable. A sort of general state like that, quite miserable. And that’s the thing, you understand, that’s what all those who had experiences on the heights saw, and they said, “It’s hopeless.”
It’s not hopeless, not at all (of course not), but it demands a constant, constant, constant vigilance and care.
(silence)
So there, we’ll see.
At the same time, the work has become (the “work,” not the true one: the external work, the number of people, the number of letters …), it has become tremendous…. I can clearly see the reason for that, it’s because (silence) … circumstances come so that the body no longer has the sense of personality. But it’s very difficult.
Very difficult.
It can do it very well, but in its most conscious part.
***
October 30, 1967
questions, comments, suggestions/feedback, take-down requests, contribute, etc
contact me @ integralyogin@gmail.com or via the comments below
or join the integral discord server (chatrooms)
if the page you visited was empty, it may be noted and I will try to fill it out. cheers