I am writing to ask you for a grace. You know, you see. I would like you to tell me the truth about this book: is it part of the things that must be? Or is it the effort of the writer’s little persona? I read the long first chapter again this morning, and it’s unreadable—it would need to be completely redone. I am wondering if it’s not the same thing with the other chapters? Would you out of grace tell me precisely what must be, whether I must strive on, do my best and rewrite what has to be rewritten, or give up everything.
I am a little sad, naturally, because I tried to write with the best of my soul, but I am not attached and am ready to make the offering of this failure at your feet, with the certainty that all is well, even if I do not yet see the Lord’s design. I would only like you to tell me the deeper truth about the book—if it must be, I am ready to make an effort and patiently correct or redo what has to be redone. But must it be?
Mother, That alone exists. That consoles me for everything.
I am your child with love—yes, you exist, so all the rest is secondary.
Signed: Satprem
***
(Mother’s answer)
I am sure the book MUST be written.
But to be perfectly frank, from the beginning and even after, I have felt that writing it was for you a sort of “sadhana” to get rid definitively of a whole way of being, thinking and writing that belongs to the past and no longer fits with your present state of consciousness.
In the few pages you read to me (except perhaps for the description of the dream), I clearly saw this struggle between the past and the present states.
Correcting the book will still be the continuation of this “sadhana,” but seen from that angle the labor will be less painful and much more interesting.
I thought I would answer you tomorrow morning, but I am sending you this right away so that you may look at the problem and ask me other questions tomorrow morning if you still have any.
With love and blessings,
Signed: Mother
***
December 17, 1966
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