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classes ::: Agenda Vol 06, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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object:1965-12-04
book class:Agenda Vol 06
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1965 Sat 4 December
December 4, 1965

(Mother was quite unwell the day before, and still looks very tired.)

Yesterday was a very difficult day. And I am not quite all right yet.

I cant hear, cant see, I am in an awful state.

(Satprem persuades Mother not to worklong meditation)

I can remain like this indefinitely.

Once I am in it, its fine, its comfortable. But anyway, we can do our translation. The difficulty is that I cant see and cant hear I am not there!

Because as for me, I have no reason to get out of it [the meditation]. This way I feel the world is fine at last! When I get out of it, the grating starts. When I am there, the world and everything is quite fine!

(Mother takes up her first lines of Savitri)

A savage din of labour and a tramp
Of armoured life and the monotonous hum
Of thoughts and acts that ever were the same

(X.IV.641)

There you are! Thats it.
***

Towards the end

This is my great remedy. Yesterday I stayed like that [in meditation] for most of the day. Everybody thought I was asleep (!) and they took great care not to wake me up (so much the better, that was kind). This way, its all right, everything is fine. And the body too is better, its the only cure; for me, its the only cure: bringing down that Peace, that Lighta vast, vast light, and calm, calm then the cells get used to being a little more harmonious.

Otherwise, everything goes wrong.

I dont believe in doctors. Try as I might, in spite of all my goodwill, I dont believe in treatments and I dont believe in doctors. When I am in that state the doctor gives me medicines I observe the medicines: they cause as much disorder as they do good. They do good to one thing and harm to another. So afterwards that has to be set right. You never get out of it. And whats more, they do me the favor of giving me childrens doses! If I were given adults doses, I think Its interesting, very interesting (!)

Basically, in order to feel at home in the world as it is today, one must belong to the category I spoke of the other day, of those who have established a harmony with all the human faculties, who are satisfied, and also who are egocentric enough not even to notice that things arent that way for others. Then its fine; otherwise Sri Aurobindo very much belonged (in his outward being) to the category of those who want things to change, who push for progress, who want to move on, who want to reject the past very much so. He had to make a great effort to be satisfied with things and people; it was his compassion that made him accept people around him as they were. Otherwise he used to suffer a lot.

And thats what wears out and tires and disorganizes.

I am made to learn that all the time. You see, its a long time since that blissful contentment stopped existing (I never had it much, if it did exist at a given time, its a very long time since it stopped holding on), but I am taught to pass on to a higher stage in which one is sufficiently free from all external vibrations to be able to live in the true, harmonious Vibration. But for the body its difficult, because every time you eat, you absorb disorder; every time you breathe, you absorb disorderyou live in disorder. So its a work of clarification, organization, harmonization, and everything becomes very still, absolutely still: there (gesture to the forehead), absolute silence and light the light of an unmoving light; and then, to make that come down here (the body). Very still Yet the blood is constantly moving along, isnt it? But I think it must be moving at a slower pace. Then its fine.

I think external science says its in sleep that toxins are burnt; well, thats the point: its the stillness that illuminates dark vibrations.

(Laughing) So I have given you two a dose!
***
December 1, 1965


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