classes ::: Agenda Vol 06, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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object:1965-06-30
book class:Agenda Vol 06
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1965 Wed 30 June
June 30, 1965

(About a cyst)

What should be done for Sujata?

What did the doctor say?

They are going to operate on her tomorrow.

Did he say it should be cut out?

Yes, but since she mentioned it to you, it has become much smaller!

(Mother laughs and examines Sujatas cyst:) Does it still hurt? Its better to remove it because if a small bit is left, it will start again.

But its true, its smaller.

(Sujata:) And it keeps getting smaller.

Tell the doctor its getting smaller, he will seemaybe he will say we should wait a few more days?

Its true (laughing), its much smaller.1

(silence)

I saw the eye doctor the other day, because it was his birthday. He came (I didnt know he was a doctor: I was asked to see him for his birthday, I said yes), he came and someone must have told him I had eye troubles (!) or whatever, I dont know; so he had prepared eye drops! He came, sat down, and then I looked at him (as I look at everyone, to see). Then he looked very surprised (Mother smiles), I dont know why, and he said very timidly, I brought drops for you, but I dont think you need them. (Mother laughs) He looked quite surprised!

(silence)

Oh, something curious happened two nights ago. I was with Sri Aurobindo, it was in a room oh, what a room. Well, it was magnificent, very high-ceilinged, very large, and without anything at all in it; but it was a very large room, and there were kinds of French windows opening out on a balcony or a terrace (it overlooked a town), and those windows, from top to bottom, were a single pane of glass: it gave a magnificent light. He was there. Then for some reason or other I felt he wanted a cup of tea. So I set out in search of his cup of tea, and went through rooms, halls, even construction sites (!), looking for a cup of tea for him; and they were all large roomsall the rooms were large but contrary to the one in which he was, which was so clear, the others were dark. And there was a large hall which was like a dining hall, with a table and everything needed to serve meals, but dark and also there wasnt anything left. There were people (people I know) who said, Ah, (in a sorry tone) its all finished they had finished everything, they had eaten up everything! (Mother laughs) They had swallowed up everything, there was nothing left. Finally, I found someone in a sort of kitchen down below (someone whom I wont name, I know her), who told me, Yes, yes, Ill bring you that right now, right now! And she brought me a pot, saying, Here. I went off with my pot, then I felt somewhat suspicious, and once outside, I lifted the lid and the first thing I see is earth! Red earth. I scratched off the red earth with my fingers, and underneath (laughing), there was a slice of bread!

Anyway, there was a lot like that, I had all sorts of adventures. Then I looked to see if Sri Aurobindo really needed his cup of tea because it seemed so difficult! I saw him, there was that wonderful French window, so clear, and then as if recessed into the wall (I dont know) a sort of platform couch, a place to sit, but it was very pretty, and he was seated or half-reclining on it, and very comfortable. And there was a boy (or a boy had come to ask him something), and there were kinds of stairs leading up to the couch; the boy was reclining on the stairs, asking questions, and Sri Aurobindo was explaining something. I recognized the boy. I thought, Ah, (laughing) hes no longer thinking of his cup of tea, fortunately! Then I woke up. But I thought, If this is how he sees us having gobbled up everything, you understand.

But a few years ago you told me an almost identical vision in which you were also in search of food for Sri Aurobindo, and you couldnt find anything: the people who were supposed to prepare it hadnt prepared it or didnt know how to.2

Thats it, it was the same thing.

But it was very concrete, very material, and there was a feeling that there HAD BEEN a plenitudeeverything was sumptuous but nothing was left. Everything had been eaten up. I met someone (I am not naming them, but I know them) who told me, Oh, yes, it was a fine feast, but we have eaten everything up; theres nothing left, we have eaten everything up.

What does it mean?

I woke upnot woke up, anyway when I came out of the vision and pondered over it in the morning, I said to myself, Oh, if he really sees us like that, having eaten everything up! And I brought him a little earth in a pot!

It left me pensive for several hours.

(silence)

But he seemed to be enveloped in a very supple fabric (you know, those things peculiar to the vital, its a special fabric that isnt woven), and it was a beautiful violet the violet of a great power.

But the room in which he was I still remember that sense of light, such a clear, clear light, so PURE, through the windowyou could see nothing but light.

(silence)

So weve gobbled up everything.

I didnt even know there had been feasts; I knew it only when I came into the halls. Besides I wasnt hungry and didnt want anything; I didnt feel I was lacking anything: I didnt need anything, I was happy as I was.

And it wasnt bad will at all, oh, there was a great desire to serve (Mother laughs) but, Theres nothing left.

Whats swallowing everything up like that?

I dont know.

I spoke [in the vision] to two people (who are in the Ashram) and to a few people from outside (one or two), and they really had a complete goodwill, they wanted to serve, you see, but there was nothing left. And the one who gave me the pot didnt hesitate, she said, Yes, yes! Ill give it to you, and she came back with that! Probably unconscious herself that what she was giving me as tea was only earthbread and red earth.

My tea, as I pictured it, was very goldenclear and golden; and I wanted to give him something with it, I dont remember what.

All this is symbolic, probably.

But3
***

Before Satprem and Sujata leave, Mother again examines Sujatas cyst, concentrating:

You know, the trick (there is a trick) is to tell the cells that thats not at all what is expected of them; that, as I told you the other day, what is expected of them isnt at all to gather there into a bundle like that; that it isnt their duty to do thatyou must convince them.

Its rather peculiar. It is the origin of habits, of course; they are under the impression that This is what we have to do, this is what we have to do, this is (Mother turns a finger in a circle).

Its the same thing with me, but I told them. Only, one should be conscious of the movement, and then, very quietly but very, very confidently, very confidently, you tell them as you would children, No, its not your duty to do this; this isnt your duty.

All chronic illnesses come from that. There may be an accident (something happens, an accident) and then there is a sort of submissive and unconscious goodwill that causes the effect of the accident to be repeated: We must repeat, we must repeat, we must repeat that (gesture in a circle). And it stops only if a consciousness is in contact with the cells and can make them understand that No, in this case, you mustnt go on repeating! (Mother laughs)

There are cases in which this power of repetition is extremely useful. I even think that this is what gives stability to the form, otherwise we would change form or appearance, or we would liquefy.

Thats what works for durability.

There is this habit of repetition, and then the sense of a fatality. For instance, if you receive a blow or something goes wrong, immediately there is that sense of fatality: Ah, now its like that, now its like that (same circular gesture). So here also (all this is going on in the consciousness of the cells), here also you must tell them: No! Its not irremediable: if you do like this (for instance, something that has been accidentally twisted), if you have the movement in the opposite direction, it will be remediable.

Its not brilliant displays of will or powers at all, its not that: its a very, very quiet persuasive powerexerted very gently but very confidently and very persistently.

None of the vital things workthey have a momentary effect, then its over.

Oh, its very interesting.

But one has to be very modest to do this work, with no liking for brilliant displaysvery modest. And very quiet.

In fact the cyst has grown smaller almost by half since Sujata mentioned it to Mother four days ago. But "out of habit" it was still operated upon!

See conversation of March 17, 1961, Agenda II, p. 129 ff.

In the years 1972-73, an Ashram boy, V., an excellent clairvoyant whom Mother refers to several times in the Agenda, had the following vision, which may be related with Mother's: he saw the Ashram as if from above, and the whole Ashram ground was scraped clean, as it were, and riddled with innumerable holes and tunnels; rats were going and coming in and out, up and down in a constant hurry-scurry there was nothing left, everything had been scraped clean by the rats.

***


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1965-06-30

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