Experiences I have nothing to say. Its too much and too little at the same timetoo many things, details, innumerable little observations, innumerable little changes; but nothing sensational, nothing to make a nice picture, no.
But first, I had asked you to tell me if you saw something.
I did see something, but I dont think its very interesting, or collective either. I seemed to kind myself in an enormous plane, a very powerful one, which managed to take off (a takeoff which, besides, gave me a very pleasant sensation). It took off, but it was hedgehopping, that was dangerous. At first, the space before us was clear anyway, but we were flying very low and skimming the trees. Then, suddenly there were all kinds of buildings that stood in the way, in particular a huge tower, like a church steeple, of a very black color. I dont know how it happened, but the plane (or the force) entered itoddly enough and inside it was completely dark; there was only a sort of opening in a watt, and beyond it, a patch of blue sky. It sounds impossible, but the plane tried to go through that hose, and when we tried to, that sort of opening turned out to be covered with very thick glass that stopped us from going through. So I remember that with a pointed instrument I broke the entire window to enable us to go through. We did, but it was too small, the opening was too narrow for such an enormous plane. Afterwards, its very confused; I only remember that in a hidden place, there was a sort of huge gold ciborium, very beautifulit was hidden. But all the rest is quite confused.
Oh, but its interesting.
(silence)
As for me, I only saw one thing: on the morning of the 29th, I woke up (woke up, I mean got up) with the consciousness the Vedic Rishis called the straight consciousness, the one that comes straight from the Lord the Truth-Consciousness, basically. It was absolutely quiet, calm, but with a sort of supersensation of an absolute well-being. Well-being, securityyes, a securityan indescribable peace, without the contrast of opposites. And it lasted about three hours, continuously, solidly, effortlessly (I didnt make any effort to keep it). I only had a definite perception that it was what they called the consciousness of truth and immortality, along with a perception (an observation, rather), fairly clear and precise, of the way in which it becomes crookedness (you know their word).
I hadnt tried to have that experience, I hadnt thought about it or anythingit came as something massive, and it stayed. But I had the feeling it was individual: I didnt feel it was something descending on earth. I felt it was something given to me, given to this body. Thats why I didnt attach much importance to it. The feeling of a grace given to this body. And it didnt leave tillit hasnt left, but it has been little by little and very slowly veiled by you know, that chaos of work, which has never been so chaotic and feverish at the same time.1 For about two weeks, it has been appalling. We havent come out of it yet. It has veiled that state FOR ME. But I clearly felt it was something GIVEN to this body.
During the meditation on the 29th, I noticed (I looked), I noticed that for about two days, the atmosphere had been full of a sparkling of white stars, like dusta twinkling dust of white stars.2 I saw it had been there for three days. And at the time of the meditation, it became extremely intense. But it was widespread, it was everywhere.
There seemed to be nothing but sparkling dotsdots that glittered like diamonds. It was like sparkling diamonds everywhere, absolutely everywhere. And it had a tendency to come from above downward. It lasted not just hours, but days; others saw it (yet I didnt say anything to anyone), others saw it and asked me what it was.
But there was nothing stunning or magnificent or astounding about it: nothing of the kind, nothing spectacular, nothing to give the feeling of a great experiencevery quiet, but very, very self-assured. Very quiet.
Once it was over, after the balcony,3 when I came back from the balcony, I said spontaneously, Very well, then, well have to wait another four years.4
Something in me was expecting I dont know what, which didnt happenmaybe something that would have created havoc!
It was very quiet, very peacefulvery quiet, especially very quiet, and nothing marvelous or miraculous, nothing of the sort. So I said, Very well, well wait four years, another four years, but for what, I dont know the something I was expecting and which didnt happen.
But the external, material life had become very difficult there were 3,000 extra people from outside. So it made a sort of confusion in the atmosphere, which isnt over yet.
(silence)
I heard from some people that a great number of little miracles had occurred, but I didnt listen, it doesnt interest me (people tell me, but my thoughts are elsewhere). Its possible: the atmosphere was highly charged. In peoples consciousness, it may result in little phenomenaa number of little phenomena which they call miraculous, but which to me are childishly simple and elementary: its just the way things are.
(silence)
Your vision obviously its mental constructions standing in the way of the takeoff thats obvious. But it isnt an individual experience: its a collective thing.
It was very black, and it was a church like a church steeple. But the gold ciborium, what is that? It was very pretty, besides; it was beautiful, but hidden.
But its true, thats indeed how it is.
It must be the supramental realization, which is hidden, still buried in Unconsciousness.
When I saw that gold ciborium, it was very confused, but some one was there with me (I dont know who, I didnt see him), and I said to him, Have you seen this beautiful ciborium! He replied, No, but I KNEW he had seen it. Then I understood that if he said he had seen it, something bad would occur,5 people would come or whatever, anyway it was important that people shouldnt know he had also seen it.
It was important that people shouldnt know it was there.
(long silence then meditation)
The feeling that the cells of the body are constantly subjected to a sort of poundingits ceaseless, night and day. Since I told you about it last time, its been like that all the time.
It seems to be an endless work.
(long silence)
Today the doctor is leaving for America for a brain operation.6 Its far from being a safe affair, its too new, there are still too many unknown elements.
There have been a number of really very interesting things with him, but its a sort of microscopic work, so it cant be told. For instance, the way the auras, the vibrations, are mingledits very interesting.
I hope he is going to pull through?
He told me he wasnt afraid.
But actually its nothing but an adventure into the unknown, because theres no guarantee that they wont cure one thing at the expense of another. You understand, when they start operating on the brain!
Obviously a day will come when these operations will be common practice, but for the time being there are still too many unknowns.
But because we have lived together constantly, there is quite a mingling of atmospheres [the doctors and Mothers], and when he tried to pull his away (because he doesnt know yet how to remain everywhere at the same timenot many people know how to do it, so they pull their atmosphere away, which causes a sort of dislocation of many things and). He doesnt admit it to himself, but he is very disturbed.
Its an adventure.
Three thousand visitors came for February 21 and 29.
This is reminiscent of the "rain of white stars" seen by Sujata (see conversation of January 29).
On the evening of the 29th, Mother appeared at the balcony.
For the third anniversary of the Supramental Manifestation.
There may be a parallel here with the "something that would have created havoc" Mother spoke of.
It consists in inserting a "needle" into a very specific area of the brain in order to destroy a group of contagious cells.
***
February 26, 1964
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