classes ::: Agenda Vol 04, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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object:1963-12-31
book class:Agenda Vol 04
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1963 Tue 31 December
December 31, 1963

(Mother tests the organ: a little white figure swaying on her stool)

There.

You have recorded it, havent you? And well play it tomorrow [for the Ashram]that way, I wont have any work to do!

(Sujata:) Is it work?

You always have fun.

It gives me fun. I dont know, I dont know what I play at all, at all, at all! I barely hear it. There is something having fun over there. If I listen just a minute, it begins to disturb me!

Thats enough, no?

(To Satprem:) What do you say, you there? Is that enough or do you want to hear more?

It depends. If youre tired

Oh (laughing), tiring, this! It doesnt tire anything. The head is empty. I tell you, when I listen, it gets more difficult; if I dont listen, its fine.

What time is it?

Almost half past ten.

Do you have anything to tell me? You want to hear more in a minor keythis was a major key!

(To Sujata:) What about you, do you prefer gay or sad? (laughter)

I intended to play The Horror of the World of Falsehood tomorrow, and to end with The Glory of Light if it comes.

But this is a little relaxation musical relaxation.

(Mother plays the harmonium again: gay minor key and ends with a G)

Finished this time.

Thats a promise: the G.

Whenever a promise comes, it ends with a G.

(Mother vibrates the G)

So Ill keep the keyboards as they are. And tomorrow at half past twelve when I play [for the Ashram], maybe it wont be as free as today!

(To Sujata:) You put everything back in place.

I dont know the time. The clock is there [on the wall], but I cant see anything: I see the bright sky.

(Mother gives flowers)

Its a golden power [a hibiscus], lovely, isnt it!

What did the music evoke in you? I dont want you to say good or bad, but did it suggest anything?

My eyes fell on this sentence of Sri Aurobindo [on the calendar]

Ah, exactly! Thats it. Thats it! Every day, I look at it. In the evening the date and the quotation are changed I dont know what tomorrows text will be, we have to change the calendar and start January. Would you like us to do it? Bring the calendar here.

All this will go now!

We have December here. (Mother reads:)

And earth shall be the Spirits manifest home1

(Sujata:) Is it the promise that came?

Yes, the promise of the G. The G always promises.

(Mother sets the calendar to January 1, 1964, and reads Sri Aurobindos quotation)

All can be done if Gods touch is there2

There: All can be done. All.

I like this calendar a lot because of its quotations. I change it every evening.

Tomorrow, I see here (Mother looks at her notebook) four, five, six, seven, eight people, and two over there, which makes tentomorrow morning between 10 and 11 A.M. (Laughing) All can be done if Gods touch is there!

So Ill see you next year.

Did I give you everything? Did I give you the second calendar [with a photograph of Mother, printed in Calcutta]? The other one, he [Satprem] didnt like it.

(Sujata:) Youre too stern, little Mother!

Ah, there we are again! But I wasnt stern: I was in contemplation!

(Satprem:) A stern contemplation.

(On the second calendar, the photograph shows Mother engaged in her translation work)

Its the last part of the Synthesis.3 We were supposed to revise it together, but it doesnt work. (To Sujata:) You know what he does? He takes the English and starts translating again! (laughing) So theres no work left for me!

The conclusion is that when he has finished his book, Ill give you my manuscript to type. If my eyes were good, it would do, but theyre no good, the poor things (I cant speak ill of them, theyve served well, but anyway). Or else, he [Satprem] would have to correct directly on my manuscript, but that he wont do.

Ah, no!

So its no use.

(Sujata:) I also have a whole year of Agenda to catch up with.

Oh, the Agenda. I keep talking on and on. He has a knack for making me talkbefore he comes, I decide, Today, I wont say anything, and then I dont know, he doesnt say anything, doesnt ask anything, and I dont know what happens but I start talking!4

All right, so well begin the revision of the Synthesis on the 4th, Is my handwriting difficult?

(Sujata:) No, no!

Oh, its not so good any more. And while I was writing it, some strange things happened: one day, suddenly, I feel Ive lost all control over my hand. How do you write? And all at once, I start writing, and then I see: its Sri Aurobindos handwriting! And as it is illegible, I thought, Thats no great progress! (laughter) So I really exerted myself, concentrated, wrote slowly, slowly, like a pupil in school, and it came back!

So you may come across some passages that arent all that legible.

But the last part [The Yoga of Self-Perfection] is the longest, and its difficult, too.

He didnt complete it.

He never completed the last chapter, he even told me, You will complete it when I have completed my yoga, and then he went, left everything.

Afterwards, several times, he told me that I should be the one to complete it I answered him that I didnt have the brain for it. Or else I would have to write it in a mediumistic way, but I am not a good medium, I am too conscious the consciousness is immediately awake in the background and watches the phenomenon, so it stops working.

But your Agenda is the end of the Yoga of Self-Perfection!

Well, itll be a long end! (Mother laughs) In other words, when its over (we must first wait for it to be over), when its over, with those notes, we could establish somethingyoull have to wait for some time! There are still several years to go.

It doesnt matter, we arent bored, are we? (To Sujata:) Are you bored? Tell me frankly, are you bored? (Sujata laughs) I dont need to ask HIM, I know the answer: Oh, its endless, it lasts forever, nothing happens, nothing takes place. (laughter) Anyway, my children, thats the way it is. I am going as fast as I can, I am the one most concerned! But you cant hurry, its not possible. Not possible.

In fact, in Savitri, Sri Aurobindo went through all the worlds, and it so happens that I am following that without knowing it (because I never rememberthank God, I really thank heaven!I asked the Lord to take away my mental memory and He took it away entirely, so I am not weighed down), but I follow that description in Savitri without mentally knowing the sequence of the worlds, and these last few days I was in that Muddle of Falsehood (I told you last time), it was really painful, and I was tracking it down to the most tenuous vibrations, those that go back to the origin, to the moment when Truth could turn into Falsehoodhow it all happened. And it is so tenuous, almost imperceptible, that deformation, the original Deformation, that you tend to lose heart and you think, Its still really quite easy to topple over the slightest thing and you can still topple over into Falsehood, into Deformation. And yesterday, I had in my hands a passage from Savitri that was brought to meits a marvel, but its so sad, so miserable, oh, I could have cried (I dont easily cry).

The world grew full of menacing Energies,
And wherever turned for help or hope his eyes,
In field and house, in street and camp and mart,
He met the prowl and stealthy come and go
Of armed disquieting bodied Influences.
A march of goddess figures dark and nude
Alarmed the air with grandiose unease;
Appalling footsteps drew invisibly near,
Shapes that were threats invaded the dream-light,
And ominous beings passed him on the road
Whose very gaze was a calamity:
A charm and sweetness sudden and formidable,
Faces that raised alluring lips and eyes
Approached him armed with beauty like a snare,
But hid a fatal meaning in each line
And could in a moment dangerously change.
But he alone discerned that screened attack.

(II.VII.205)

It makes you wonder. Its like something gluey surrounding you, touching you all over; you cant go forward, you cant do anything without encountering those black and gluey fingers of Falsehood. It was a very painful impression.

And last night, there was the Answer, as it were. This morning, when I got up, I didnt remember clearly, but in the middle of the night I knew it very well. (Its not going from sleep to the waking consciousness: it is coming out of one state to enter another one, and when I came out of that state to enter the so-called normal one, I remembered very well.) I was as if made to live the WAY of turning that Falsehood into Truth, and it was so joyful! So joyful. In the sense that its a vibration similar to joy that is capable of dissolving and overcoming the vibration of Falsehood. That was very important: it isnt effort, it isnt righteousness, or scruple or rigidity, none of that, none of that has any effect on that sadness (it is a sadness) of Falsehoodits something so sad, so helpless, so miserable so miserable. And only a vibration of Joy can change it.

It was a vibration that flowed like silvery waterit rippled and flowed like silvery water.

Which means that austerity, asceticism, even an intense and stern aspiration, all sternness, all that: no action. No actionFalsehood stays put in the background. But it cannot resist the sparkling of joy. Its interesting.

(silence)

And in his text, Sri Aurobindo says that the Lord joins the contraries, the opposites, puts them together so they fight each other, and that this will and action give Him a sardonic smile (I am commenting).

A tract he reached unbuilt and owned by none:
There all could enter but none stay for long.
It was a no mans land of evil air,
A crowded neighbourhood without one home,
A borderl and between the world and hell.
There unreality was Natures Lord:
It was a space where nothing could be true,
For nothing was what it had claimed to be:
A high appearance wrapped a spacious void.
Yet nothing would confess its own presence
Even to itself in the ambiguous heart:
A vast deception was the law of things;
Only by that deception they could live.
An unsubstantial Nihil guaranteed
The falsehood of the forms this Nature took
And made them seem awhile to be and live.
A borrowed magic drew them from the Void;
They took a shape and stuff that was not theirs
And showed a colour that they could not keep,
Mirrors to a fantasm of reality.
Each rainbow brilliance was a splendid lie;
A beauty unreal graced a glamour face.
Nothing could be relied on to remain:
Joy nurtured tears and good an evil proved,
But never out of evil one plucked good:
Love ended early in hate, delight killed with pain,
Truth into falsity grew and death ruled life.
A Power that laughed at the mischief of the world,
An irony that joined the worlds contraries
And flung them into each others arms to strive,
Put a sardonic rictus on Gods face.

(II.VII.206)

I was asked for an illustration for H.; I saw the image, the Lords face with a sardonic smile. And then, after last nights experience, this morning suddenly that expression of the face changed, and I saw the image of the true, the true sorrow of Compassion I dont know how to explain it. The sardonic smile changed: from sardonic it grew bitter, from bitter it grew sorrowful, from sorrowful it grew full of an extraordinary compassion.

(silence)

So we could say that Falsehood is the sorrow of the Lord. And that His Joy is the cure for all Falsehood.

Sorrow had to be expressed so as to be erased from the creation.

And sorrow is Falsehood the Lords sorrow, sorrow in its essence, is Falsehood.

So to live in Falsehood is to hurt the Lord.

It opens up horizons.

And His Joy is the cure for everything.

Thats the problem seen from the other angle.

So, if we love the Lord, we cannot give Him cause for sorrow, and necessarily we emerge from Falsehood and enter Joy.

Thats what I saw last night. It was all silvery. All silvery, silvery.

There was even the vision of how the vibrations were in the cells: vibrations that were silvery, sparkling, rippling, but very regular, and precise (how can I put it?). It was the contradiction of Falsehood in the cells; like little flashes of silvery light.

But that [Falsehood] is the great obstacle, the extreme difficulty. Its something gluey which entered the creation and sticks to everything, and which has become a material habit too, because its not only Mind that has Falsehood in it: theres Falsehood in Life, in Life itself. In the completely inanimate, I dont know. Maybe it came with Life? (According to Savitri, the origin of Falsehood lies in Life.) But its as though Unconsciousness, in order to go towards Consciousness, to return to Consciousness, had taken the path of Falsehood and Death instead of the path of Truth.

And Falsehood is this: the sorrow of the Lord.

I was asked for a message for next year, and things of that sort kept coming to me, so I didnt say anything. They wouldnt even understand, its incomprehensible if you dont have the experience. And if you say just like that, almost dogmatically, Falsehood is the sorrow of the Lord, it doesnt mean anything.

Or if you say it in a literary way, its no longer true.

And if you said, Falsehood is the Lords way of being unhappy (!) (Mother laughs), people would think youre not being serious.

Well. My children, I think its time to go and do our work. I wish you a happy new year!

Savitri.

Savitri.

In fact, the passage Mother is seen translating in the photograph is from Savitri:

Our will [shall be] a force of the Eternal's power And thought the rays of a spiritual sun.

I.IV.55

Indeed, Satprem asked Mother few questions, but he WAS a question.

***
December 29, 1963 View Similar
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