It was yesterday, I think, in the night (not last night, the night before, the 6th of June, that is), for more than three hours without stop, there was no consciousness of anything any morenot a thought, not a will, not an action, not an observation, nothing. Everything was at a standstill. For instance, all that happens when you have experiences and you work in the subconscientall that, everything, everything was at a standstill. It was like the action of a Force. Without any thought or idea, only the sensation and a sort of perception (awareness is the right word) of a Force, but a stupendous Force, you know, like the Force of the earthall the combinations of the forces along with an action that came from above and worked on them. It was going through me (especially around the head down to the chest, but it was going on in the whole body, and it was spherical), it went through me and out, and out, and out in this direction, that direction, another direction, innumerable directions, and nothing but movements of Force (there was something like a perception of colors, but not in the ordinary way: like a knowledge that certain vibrations corresponded to a particular color), but it was an incalculable MASS, almost indefinite, at any rate, and simultaneous. At first I said to myself (laughing), Whats going on? Then I thought, All right, it doesnt matter, Ill just let it happen. And it went on and on and onthree hours without letup.
I didnt know I didnt know anything any more, didnt understand anything any more, had no bearings any more; there was only a Force on the move, and what Force! It was a Force that came from beyond and acted upon all the forces of the earth: on big things, on small things, on small, precise points, on enormous things, and it was going on and on and on, on this point, that point, all points together and everywhere. I suppose that if the mind had been associated with the experience, it would have gone a bit mad! It gave that impression, you see, because it was so overwhelming that And all the time, all the time in the physical center (the physical center, that is, in the corporeal base), with something in an ecstatic state; it was very interesting how that ecstasyan ecstasy that sparkled like a diamondwas there, so sweet, so sweet, so peaceful, as though it were there all the while, telling the body, Dont be afraid, (laughing) dont worry, dont be afraid, all is well. As though the supreme Power were saying all the while, Dont worry, dont worry, leave it to me, leave it to me. It lasted more than three hours.
I wondered, What will my condition be like when I get up? Completely dazed, or what?Very quiet, nothing different, with only a sort of something that was smiling and saying, Oh, so things CAN be that way.
The mind was absolutely silent, absolutely: all the connections with all that people keep sending from everywhere were cutall of it was completely gone. There were only the universal forces in action, with something that came from above and impregnated them all, sent them all out. And with it, a pointit was like a point in that immensitya sparkling point, absolutely ecstatic, in such a peace! An extraordinary ecstasy, which was deliberately saying, Dont worry; you can see whats going on, cant you, so dont worry, dont worry, because certainly the thing had gone beyond all possible individual proportions.
Its the first time. Ive had currents of force, Ive had actions on the earth, Ive had forces coming to me, all sorts of things; but this was different: it was all of that together. It was everywhere at the same time, everything at the same time, with that Inrush, and it was There was certainly something that wanted me to be very quiet and not to worry. It was necessary that I should keep very quiet.
I had a feeling that I was given the awareness of something thats taking place right now. Because at night, generally, I disconnect myself from everything and universalize myselfno, universalize isnt the word: I identify myself with the Lord. Thats my way of resting. I do it every night, it is the time when I have my deep rest. But now Ive been made aware of this Force at work. Often experiences come (there have been a number of them lately), but its the first time this one has come, because It was certainly something happening FOR the earth; but it didnt come from the center of forces that generally acts on the earth. It wasnt the usual working of forces on the earth. It was something happening. And it gave the sense that the earth was very small the movement was towards the earth, it was for the earth, but the earth was very small.
Very small.
(silence)
There were no psychological perceptions (what I call psychological perceptions are, for instance, vibrations of love, vibrations of peace, vibrations of light, vibrations of knowledge, of power), they werent there in that form, it wasnt that. Still, all that must have been there, because there were many things, many things that were all one thing, but one thing which assumed different forms; but I didnt see the forms, I didnt see the colors. It was only a question of pure sensation. A pure vibratory sensation: only vibrations, vibrations, vibrations, on a colossal scale.
It is a new experience.
(silence)
Obviously, there was there must have been a cause for alarm, because as soon as I became conscious of the experience (it started before I became conscious of it; when I did, it seemed to me it had already been going on for a long time; so when I say three hours, it means three hours during which I was conscious, but it had started long before; it was around eleven at night and lasted till three in the morning), so the second I was made conscious of the thing, obviously there was a cause for alarm, because immediately I was told, You see, this is what is going on, and it was thanks to that ecstasy in the body that there was no alarm: Oh, things are fine, everything is fine. And when the experience was over, it didnt end like an experience exhausting itself; it ended as if, very slowly, the thing were, not exactly veiled to my consciousness, but as if my consciousness were turned away from it, with the feeling, Dont worry. At the start and at the end. All the same, when I woke up, I thought (because my head felt strange, there was a bizarre sensation as if I had become quite swollen! Swollen, inordinately swollen), I thought, Maybe when I get up tomorrow morning (I get up at 4:30), Ill find myself in a complete daze! Thats why I observed but everything was fine, there only remained that sort of feeling of being swollen. I feel (yet it was two nights ago, not last night), I feel as if my head were swollen! But the clear-headedness is the same as ever!! (laughing) Nothings been disturbed!
On the contrary, there is a sort of like an acuteness, something more acute in the perception, a little bit ironic I dont know why. A magnified impression that all the things in the world are much ado about nothing, a lot of fuss about nothing Ive had that feeling for for centuries, I could say, but there is in addition something ever so slightly acute and ironic.
But otherwise, crystal clear!
(silence)
If someone could tell me
But I am not supposed to know, evidently. Probably I am too much of a chatterbox (!), I always tell you all my stories, which probably isnt necessary, so I am not told. But, you know, people are so fond of putting labels on things: This is what it is, that is what it is. We dont want that! It sounds so smart, you know, like newspapers headlines: The latest development. (Mother sketches big, sensational headlines) We dont want that.
You may have an experience for an hour, two hours sometimes, but here there was an impression that all of a sudden I was made aware. And that I participated: this (the body) was allowed to participate, because for some reason that I dont know (maybe because of the work going on in the body, I dont know, that must be why), it seemed necessary that I should participate. But the impression is that something stupendous is happening right now.
You see, when I had that experience of the pulsations of Love in April last year, I had the perception of the color, the psychological perception of the state I was in (how can I explain?), for instance, the quality of the vibration of Love (something that has absolutely nothing to do with earthly things). At the time, I was That, I was those vibrations, but I was fully aware of the quality of those vibrations, and remained so for monthsthis is completely different! It was nothing but an action. NOTHING but an action. And an action, you know, in which the human body is less than an ant. Much less than an ant: an imperceptible point. Yet there seemed to be ONLY this body! As if this body alone were there and it were going through that. This body was a body it was THE body! And that point that comforting point of ecstasywas very small. Very small. But it was there, quite insistent, very conscious, telling me, Dont interfere; leave it to me entirely, all is wellsee, all is well. Very small, very small. Yet it was my body: I tell you, my head still seems swollen!
Strange.
(silence)
But are they new forces, or is it something going on habitually? Is it a new work on the earth, or is it that you have seen something that goes on habitually but of which you were unaware previously?
I wondered. But the question isnt put correctly. It is something eternal which, because of what happened at that time (not at that minute, because, as I said, it must have been going on long before and long afterwards) it has become something new, for that reason, BECAUSE of what happened.1 Coming back to all the things we know, we could say (but thats the usual idle talk) that it is something newly manifested.
But my impression was an impression of Eternity. An Eternity BEYOND TIME (not something that lasts forever: something timeless), yes, the word would be: manifesting, making itself perceptible, or becoming active thats not it, because Yes, acting, becoming perceptible because it acts.
That was my impression.
I could also say: something universal which becomes individual; not individual in the sense of a small person, but conscious of itself.
But the remarkable thing is that it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with all the intellectual activity, high or lownothing. Nothing. Nothing to do with knowledge, or observation, discernment, intellectual perception, understanding, judgment and whatever. Nothing, nothing, nothing to do with all that. It was a Force in motion.
Force means nothing! Force is something very small. Its the impression of something stupendous!
It had nothing to do with either Knowledge or Light or understanding (the whole angle of light and intellectual knowledge); nothing to do with Love (which I had felt last time and which has its own particular vibration). The best definition we could give is Power. It was Power in its most formidable aspectcrushing. With REAL All-Powerfulness; Power in its all-powerfulness, with that something unshakable, immutable, untouchable.2 Yes, really Power, thats right.
But Power, you understand For example, a hurricanes power is nothing in comparison. All the powers a human being can withstand, even probably imagine, are nothingnothing its (Mother blows in the air) like soap bubbles.
The feeling of something that can be neither withstood nor felt, because of its formidable state.
And it was quite clear that a solicitude, the supreme Solicitude, took great care to reassure me: All is well. Without that, obviously, the feeling was that everything, everything was going to be dissolved.
So if we use our little wits, maybe we can say its the supramental Power which has manifested, I dont know.
(silence)
But there was no perception of light, nothing that might give a hint; there was no perception of feelings or love to give a hint. There was nothing of the kind, nothingonly something that makes you puff out your cheeks in disbelief (!), so formidable that its indescribable. Indescribable.
Evidently its Power.
We always conceive of power acting ON something, ON an object, with an object, WITH A VIEW to realizing something; we cannot separate the two but it was none of that, it was Power in action. But not an action ON something.
I had the feeling it was a decisive turning point which far exceeded my little understanding.
(silence)
We will know, one day.
But the explanation comes afterwards: its brought down to our small scale (laughing) to make us happy!
Mother probably means: because of the fact that she became aware of the thing.
Mother is referring to the "point" that sparkled like a diamond.
***
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