classes ::: Agenda Vol 04, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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object:1963-03-23
book class:Agenda Vol 04
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1963 Sat 23 March
March 23, 1963

(Mother first reads from her translation of "Savitri" a few excerpts about death. We give here the original English.)

A grey defeat pregnant with victory.
A whip to lash us towards our deathless state.
The inconscient world is the spirits self-made room

Self-made.

Eternal Night shadow of eternal Day.
Night is not our beginning nor our end;
She is the dark Mother in whose womb we have hid
Safe from too swift a waking to world-pain.

Oh, this is.

By Light we live and to the Light we go.
Here in this seat of Darkness mute and lone,
In the heart of everlasting Nothingness
Light conquered now even by that feeble beam.

(X.I.600)

Its marvelous.

Yes, it must be a joy to work on Savitri.

Oh, mon petit! It makes you live in a marvelous atmosphere.
So, thats all. What did you bring?

Nothing, except a few Agenda conversations, as always.

Oh, but I am weary of my.

(silence)

Its a snails pace, so theres nothing interesting. Really a snails pace.

Its one year since When was that message? [the turning point of Mothers yoga, the great pulsations] In April 62?

It was towards the end of March.

No, at the end of March, I came upstairs not to go down again, that was on the 16th, I noted it. I noted it because my [translation] notebook stopped short on that day (!), I put a red mark.1 But it will soon be one year since the second experience, the pulsations, the starting point of the work I am doing now that was on April 13th. Slightly less than a month later. Well theres nothing to say. I am on the way, no doubt, theres no denying the steps made: I do go forward, not backward. But I mean, its like wanting to walk round the globe! Its endless.

Nothing spectacular whatsoeverspectacular, you know, thats what people enjoy. Nothing of the sort. For instance, there are two things that give you (and others too) a sense that youre making progress: one is the direct knowledge of whats happening in a given place; the other is the foreknowledge of coming events. Well, ever since the beginning of my Yoga, the two possibilities or capacities have been there, with all the admixture (as Sri Aurobindo says) of the movements of the mind, which befuddles everything. Already around 1910, not only was the capacity there (it would come off and on), but along with it, a discernment which showed me the mixture, and thus left me without any certainty. In this regard, therefore, I cant even say there has been a big change the change is in the proportion, its just a question of proportion: proportion in the certainty, proportion in the accuracy, proportion in the mixture. The mixture keeps decreasing, the certainty keeps increasing but thats all. With, now and then (but that has always happened), now and then, a clear, precise, definite indicationbang! Its a bit more frequent. Thats all. So? Sixty-three years. Sixty-three years of methodical effort, of constant will, of opportunities for the workpeople who want quick results, they make me laugh, you know!

This body isnt even one that is unprepared. It had capabilities, it was born with certain capabilities and was prepared for all kinds of experiences. There was also the sort of intuitive discernment Sri Aurobindo refers to, it had been there since my earliest childhoodveiled, mixed, no doubt, but present all the same, it was there. Afterwards, it was purified, developed, streng thened, the mixture lessened and the body was somewhat (laughing) to perfect itself it went through quite a great deal of friction of all types. Its certainly more apt today than it was fifty years ago, there isnt a shadow of doubt about it! But you understand, theres nothing to boast about!

I feel very strongly that things are that way because the Earth is that way.

Yes, quite clearly! Quite clearly.

If there were. If people aspired, if there were enough people who WANTED that, I feel it would be done almost in a flash.

Oh, thats absolutely correct, absolutely true. But anyway, its a fact. And ultimately, a victory thats conditional [on others], well, its just a way to speed up Natures movement a little. If thats what it is, all well and good but as I said (its very good, I make no demands, I dont protest, I am quite peaceful, and, to tell the truth, the result is all the same to me), theres nothing worth mentioning, thats what I mean, you cant write stories about that! (laughing) Its not worth talking about it.

If there were something like a living proof of the truth of what was promisedah, that would be worthwhile. But thats not it! We havent reached that point. It [a victory conditional on others] speeds things up a little; but it has always been said that if people joined in the effort, it would speed things up to some extentsome extent, but to what extent? We cant say.

(silence)

Just think how long I have been looking after all these peoplesome have been here for more than twenty-five years, thirty years, and (Mother shakes her head). I believe they have experiences, perhaps, but nothing to speak of. And the general atmosphere (Mother shakes her head).

One thing, though: suddenly I read (yesterday or the day before) a sermon delivered in the U.S.A. by an American (who is a rabbi, a pastor and even a Catholic priest all at the same time!). He heads a group, a group for the unity of religions. A fairly young man, and a preacher. He gives a sermon every week, I think. He came here with some other Americans, stayed for two days and went back. But then, he sent us the sermons he had given since his return, and in one of them he recounts his spiritual journey, as he calls it (a spiritual journey through China, Japan, Indochina, Malaysia, Indonesia, and so on up to India). What shocked him most in India was the povertyit was an almost unbearable experience for him (thats also what prompted the two persons who were with him to leave, and he left with them): poverty. Personally, I dont know because Ive seen poverty everywhere; I saw it wherever I went, but it seems Americans find it very shocking. Anyway, they came here, and in his sermon he gives his impression of the Ashram. I read it almost with astonishment. That man says that the minute he entered this place, he felt a peace, a calm, a stability he had never felt ANYWHERE else in his life. He met a man (he doesnt say who, he doesnt name him and I couldnt find out), who he says was such a monument of divine peace and quietude that I only wished to sit silently at his side. Who it is, I dont know (theres only Nolini who might, possibly, give that impression). He attended the meditationhe says he had never felt anything so wonderful anywhere. And he left with the feeling this was a unique place in the world from the point of view of the realization of divine Peace. I read that almost with surprise. And hes a man who, intellectually, is unable to understand or follow Sri Aurobindo (the horizon is quite narrow, he hasnt got beyond the unity of religions, thats the utmost he can conceive of). Well, in spite of that Those who already know all of Sri Aurobindo, who come here thinking they will see and who feel that Peace, I can understand. But thats not the case: he was enthralled at once!

Its the same with people who get cured. That I know, to some extent: the Power acts so forcefully that it is almost miraculousat a distance. The Power I am very conscious of the Power. But, I must say, I find it doesnt act here so well as it does far away. On government or national matters, on the terrestrial atmosphere, on great movements, also as inspirations on the level of thought (in certain people, to realize certain things), the Power is very clear. Also to save people or cure themit acts very strongly. But much more at a distance than here! (Although the receptivity has increased since I withdrew because, necessarily, it gave people the urge to find inside something they no longer had outside.) But here, the response is very erratic. And to distinguish between the proportion that comes from faith, sincerity, simplicity, and what comes from the Power Some people I am able to save (naturally, in my view, its because they COULD be saved), this is something that for a very long time I have been able to foresee. But now I dont try to know: it comes like this (gesture like a flash). If, for instance, I am told, So and so has fallen ill, well, immediately I know if he will recover (first if its nothing, some passing trouble), if he will recover, if it will take some time and struggle and difficulties, or if its fatalautomatically. And without trying to know, without even trying: the two things come together.2 This capacity has developed, first because I have more peace, and because, having more peace, things follow a more normal course. But there were two or three little instances where I said to the Lord (gesture of presenting something, palms open upward), I asked Him to do a certain thing, and then (not very often, it doesnt happen to me often; at times it comes as a necessity, a necessity to present the thing with a commentfrom morning to evening and evening to morning I present everything constantly, thats my movement [same gesture of presenting something] but here, there is a comment, as if I were asking, Couldnt this be done?), and then the result: yes, immediately. But I am not the one who presents the thing, you see: its just the way it is, it just happens that way, like everything else.3 So my conclusion is that its part of the Plan, I mean, a certain vibration is necessary, enters [into Mother], intervenes, and No stories to tell, mon petit! Nothing to fill people with enthusiasm or give them trust, nothing.

Three or four days ago, a very nice man, whom I like a lot, who has been very useful, fell ill. (He has in fact been ill for a long time, and he is struggling; for all sorts of reasons of family, milieu, activities and so on, he isnt taken care of the way he should be, he doesnt take care of his body the way he should.) He had a first attack and I saw him afterwards. But I saw him full of life: his body was full of life and of will to live. So I said, No need to worry. Then after some time, maybe not even a month, another attack, caused not by the same thing but by its consequences. I receive a letter in which I am informed that he has been taken to the hospital. I was surprised, I said, But no! He has in himself the will to live, so why? Why has this happened? The moment I was informed and made the contact, he recovered with fantastic speed! Almost in a few hours. He had been rushed to the hospital, they thought it was most serious, and two days later he was back home. The hospital doctor said, Why, he has received a new life! But thats not correct: I had put him back in contact with his bodys will, which, for some reason or other, he had forgotten. Things like that, yes, theyre very clear, they take place very consciously but anyway, nothing worth talking about!

But this mans faith is extraordinary, such faith! The first word he uttered when he regained consciousness: Has Mother permitted my being taken to the hospital? You understand. So I give him the full credit for his recovery. With people like that, yes, you can do something, but thats because they have faith!

Well, then. No stories to tell.

These last few days, while walking in meditation, I said to the Lord, What do I have? I have no certainty, no foreknowledge, no absolute power, I have nothing. (I dont mean I, I mean the bodythis body.) The body was saying: Do you see my condition? I am still full of (it was complaining bitterly), oh, full of the silliest movements. Petty movements of apprehension, petty movements of uncertainty, petty movements of anxiety, petty movements of all kinds of very, very petty thingsthose who live a normal life dont take any notice, they dont know, but when you observe whats going on deep down with that discernment oh, mon petit! Its so petty, so petty, so petty.

Only one thing (which is not even absolute): a sort of equality that has come into the bodynot an equality of soul (laughing): an equality in the cells! It has come into the body. There is no longer that clash of joy and painalways and for everything, every minute, every reaction, You, Lord, to You, Lord. As though the cells were chanting, To You Lord, to You Lord, to You Lord. And well, thats how it is.

There are enough physical miseries to experience what people call physical painquite enough (!) Yet, materially, everything is organized to give every possible joy! For example (ever since the age of five it has been like that), whenever the body felt, Oh, if I had this. Oh, it would be nice to have that, the thing would come in no time. Fantastic! It has always been that way, only it has become more conscious. Before, it would happen without my noticing it, quite naturally. Now, of course, the body has changed, its no longer a baby, it no longer has a childs fancies. But when that kind of Rhythm comes, when something says, Oh, this is fine! mon petit, it comes in TORRENTS from all sides without my saying a word. Just like that. There was a time when the body enjoyed it, it was delighted by it, made very happy by it (even two years ago, a little more perhaps), very happy, it found that amusingit was lovely, you see. But now: To You Lord. Only this, a sort of quiet, constant joy: To You Lord, to You Lord, to You Lord. And on both accounts: for physical pain as well. In that regard, the body is making progress. Although to tell the truth, its life is made so easy! So easy that it would have to be quite hard to please not be satisfied the Lord is full of infinite grace.

No, in spite of everything, the body doesnt have that sort of eternal stability, the sense of its immortality (immortality isnt the right word), of its permanence. Not that it has a sense of impermanence, far from it, the cells feel eternal that much is there. But a certain something that would be sheltered from all attacks. It still feels the attacks. It feels an instability, it doesnt have a sense of absolute security, it hasnt yet reached a state of absolute security thats it: the sense of security. There are still vibrations of insecurity. Yet that seems so mean, so silly! It still lives in insecurity. Security, the sense of security only comes through union with the Supremenothing in life as it is, nothing in the world as it is, can offer the sense of security, its impossible. But to feel the Supremes presence so constantly, to be able to pass everything on to Him, To You, to You, to You, and yet not to have a sense of security! A shock or a blow comes (not necessarily personally, but in life), and theres still a particular vibration: the vibration of insecurityit still exists. The body finds that disquieting, painful: Why? Not that it complains, but it complains about itself, it finds itself not up to the mark.

To know that all is You, that You alone exist, to feel You everywhere, to feel You always, and still to be open to the first thing that comes from outside to give you a blow, a sense of insecurityhow absurd!

Of course, with a concentration of the true being (gesture above), it disappears instantly but that means it isnt the body that feels a sense of security! Its the true consciousness (and quite naturally so, for it would not be true if it didnt have that sense). But what we want is the body to exist in ITSELF, by ITSELF, with all qualities WITHIN ITSELF. In other words, God shouldnt need to manifest for the body to live without anxiety!

No, thats not THE thing!

So it takes a long, long, long timeone year has passed. And if we take stock

Another example. A year later, I read a letter brought by Nolini.

I began reading the letter, it was four or five pages long and I didnt have time. Nolini didnt say anything (of course, he is much too well-mannered to say anything), but within himself, he thought, Why does Mother waste her time reading this letter when we barely have time to do our work? It entered the atmosphere, and even before it reached me, as soon as I saw one, two, three, four, five pages, I said, Oh, enough! At the end of the first page, I said, Enough! and put the letter aside. But the thought from Nolini and the fact that my decision was made just a moment too late, a few seconds too late my body was in a sweat from head to toe! It felt terribly exhausted. It took me at least half a minute of concentration to set things right. You understand, it has become so sensitive that in ordinary life it would be impossible but for its transformation it was a necessity. Still, it surprised me. Naturally, after half a minute it was all over, but I had to concentrate and call for calm.

So the body thought, Oh, I havent got beyond that. If I have to do the right thing in the right way and right on the dot to keep my balance You understand, a sense of insecurity! And very strong, very strong. Of course, there is something like reason (not quite ordinary reason), something like reason that says, When you automatically and always do exactly what should be done, it will vanish. (Mother laughs) Thank you very much! But as it cannot be a mental decision, then how? You see, you can learn only through experience, and since everything is in perpetual motion, the experience of the past cannot help for the future: its a matter of every minute. So how can you know? It means well know that we are free from error only when we are all the time, all the time in perfect harmony! But then there will be no point in knowing it, it will be done! Thats the situation. If the body is transformed and lives naturally in the divine rhythm, why would I need to know it! (Laughing) It will be immaterial to me, because it will BE. We want to know things when they arent yet.

The body is like a child who needs encouragement, you know, Come on now, dont get in a state, things are fine, youre making progress, you need not worry. Oh, ridiculous!

There, mon petit.

(Satprem lays his head on Mothers knees)

A new thing, for example, before (before means before last year!), when I gave my blessings, the Will came and went through me into the personalways. It wasnt an act [by Mother]. But now, its visibly perceptible (Mother touches her fingertips), you can almost see the vibration going through the fingers and into the head [of Satprem]. Thats the difference: before, it was always the Consciousness, the Being working from abovenow the body participates. This is different.

Very small things, very small things.

The following time, Mother added, "On the 16th, I stopped seeing people downstairs, but on the 18th and 20th I went down again for the balcony: those were the last two times. Afterwards I was put in bed (ordered!) on April 3rd. Up to April 3rd I still moved around here; then, to bed, no moving! It went on till May. Then the night of April 12th came the second experience, that's when I called Pavitra to record [the message]."

The news and the "diagnosis."

Which means that Mother does not act personally but she is "acted through" automatically.

***


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