classes ::: Agenda Vol 03, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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bookmarks: Instances - Definitions - Quotes - Chapters - Wordnet - Webgen


object:1962-11-14
book class:Agenda Vol 03
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1962 Wed 14 November
November 14, 1962

(Satprem reads a passage from his manuscript describing the relation between the subconscient and the supraconscient, in which he says: "One cannot be healed unless one goes down to the very bottom; and one cannot go down to the very bottom unless one goes up to the very heights.")

Its getting interesting. Its the formulationnot the theory, not the explanation (its more than intellectual), but the literary expression of what Ive been experiencing all these nights. Not only at night, in the daytime too.

Its as if I were touching the dregs of things.

No later than yesterday night, I had this feeling: My god, theres always farther down to go! Its always lower, ever lower. And at the same time, my identity with the Supreme keeps growing while I simultaneously seem to be going down into the most incredible dark dregs of yes, of mud, ever possible in life. Look, you speak of Sri Aurobindos experiencewell, I never knew hed had the vision of all sorts of torture,1 but I have just had it myself in detail, bit by bit and what things! Incredible, incredible. And I was wondering, But why! Why am I seeing all this? Am I losing my contact? On the contrary, it felt closer and closer, stronger and stronger, more and more conscious, luminous, and at the same time this (gesture below).

You have formulated it very, very well. Do you unwittingly feel my experience and write it, or do I. I dont know, its all bound up together. But its most interesting.

Because my impression was that the higher I rise, the more I notice things below. I wasnt making a doctrine or theory of it, of course I got rid of that habit a long time ago. But I was looking at it, merely taking note of the fact, without telling myself it was for this or that reason (as you explain here in your book). I observed the phenomenon and was able to say: the more I feel this constant, luminous Presence, the more I see those things. So it has become very clear to me that it is impossible to manifest THAT integrally without everything below being offered up to the Light.

My method is essentially very simple: for each thing that comes, I say, Here, Lord, its for You; change it, transform it. A work of offering and dedication (gesture of presenting something to the Light). And this morning there was a sort of replynot exactly to a question, but as though I were wondering How do I do it? (because the Lord tells me I am here for His work), How do I do His work? Whats the new way of doing the Work? We know all the old ways, but whats the new way? And the reply came, very concrete, without words: By bringing the two extremes together. Everything you see, everything that comes to you or that you discover is automatically put in the presence of the Most High, of the Supreme. You join the two extremes. Your whole work is to make the junction.

And now you read me all this! Its as if you were explaining itdont you find that interesting! (Mother laughs) I find it VERY interesting.

And whats more, this morning Sri Aurobindo said to me, Today he will tell you something that will explain your experiences to you. So thats what has happened. Its not a mental explanation, you understand these things are SEEN.

He was here again just now and told me (how shall I put it?) something like: he receives well, as though he were dictating a lot of things to you.

Its very good, I am quite pleased! (Mother laughs.)
***

A little later:

If I could tell all Ive seen when I remember it in the morning, it would fill hundreds and hundreds of volumes. And in fact, it would shed some light.

I have never stopped seeing things. Now I see both day and night, it makes no difference, although I dont see the same things or do the same work at night as during the day. But all the work is always expressed through visions (I also hear and remember words, but thats secondary): ideas are expressed as images, and wills are expressed as actions. And it all makes a sort of lifea life in other worlds, different worlds.

In the Alipore jail: "I was mentally subjected to all sorts of torture for fifteen days. I had to look upon scenes of all sorts of suffering...." (See A.B. Purani, Life of Sri Aurobindo, p. 122.)

***
November 10, 1962


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