(Mother asks Satprem how he is. He did not keep his reply.)
But its all right, mon petit, its going well.
And physically?
Not so good.
Are you eating enough?
Yes, yes.
Are you sure?
Its more a sort of weariness. I spend terrible nights in the subconscient. Over the past six months theres been a really abrupt change in my dreams. Previously I would remember something once in a while; now I remember nothing except the subconscient, and what a subconscient! Im lucky when its not hellish.
Mon petit, from that point of view my nights are abominable toothey cant really be abominable because I live in beatitude, but what I see, what I am forced to see each night is horrible. Just horrible. It seems like an attempt to make me thoroughly disgusted with my work. The subconscient is really a mass of horrors. And its been going on like this for at least six months.
Its a hell of a thing to wake up with!
Yes, its always when you wake up. Its always the last thing that comesand what things! If I told you some of them, youd see, oh. Of course, I sort them out. I do whats needed and then sweep them away.
At times its hellish, certain beings and situations.
Yes, frightful, unimaginable situations and ways of being.
(silence)
But I deliberately come into contact with these things. When I walk in the morning for japa, its all systematically put under the supreme Influence, it gets cleared up and sorted out. Some good work gets done.
We mustnt see these things as inescapable, but rather take them as indications of whats being changed.
But it seems endless.
Yes! (Mother laughs) Yes, it seems absolutely limitless.
It could go on like that for centuries.
Thats how it seems, bottomless and limitless, combined in ever new and equally horrible ways. But its not true: it does change. It does change.
And what inventionssheer horror! Really, the people who are in contact with that world and express it on earth, its appalling the inventions they can make. Oh, the tortures men have invented, the things theyve doneyou cant believe its real. And it all comes from that subconscient world, which means it is indispensable to clean it out.
But oh, what a tough work! And thankless too. Thankless because no sooner do you think youve come to the end of something (not that you really think so, you know what its like there, but you still hope), than it comes back in another form, which seems even worse than the previous one.
We must have endurance, mon petit.
And sometimes it becomes terribly personal, as if you were being personally attacked. I have a whole theme of such things which cant even be spoken about because theyre too personalpersonal in that they appear to involve this body. Last night (ah, by the way, I remember noticing I was physically youngit was in the subtle physical, of course, and I was quite young) but what a life I led, with so many oh, revolutions, battles; I was involved in everything, there was tremendous activity. But I was being personally harassed by four or five of the most vile and disgusting old swine, and I had to confront them, hold them in place, keep them under control and make them obey. Ohh, was I glad to wake up! (It was time to get up; these things always stop automatically because I make it a point to get out of there at four-thirty) But the images, the sensations that went along with it. Oh, how is it possible! And I was fully conscious of the usefulness of this work: I was keeping them under control.1 But the things it involves ugh! Because for me, all knowledge is through identityeven in the subconscient its a knowledge through identityso you can imagine what that means.
Yes oh, there are some horrible beings there!
Horrible (Mother laughs).
All right.
You dont know how to call me or dont you want to?
I just dont remember!
Thats a shame. If you could remember and call me.
Im more like a witness, watching whats happening to me. When it gets to be too much I wake up, but otherwise I stay there watching, watchinga witness.
Havent you ever tried before falling asleep.
Of course I have! Before going to sleep I always ask to be conscious and to receive whatever you send me.
No, you must ask to remember to call me when the situation gets unpleasant (Mother laughs); that has rescued people so many, many times, right in the midst of their nightly activitynot at the moment they woke up, no: right in their nighttime consciousness they have seen the results within and around them. Take the story of D., who couldnt get back into his body and called me; it really does have an effect, especially on that sort of beings. Thank God (laughing) theyre afraid of me I have an effect on them.
Ah, its interesting. We have to endure, thats all.
We have to endure. And have courage.
Au revoir, petit.
In the next conversation, Mother added: "For example, if someone wants to enter some place, you needn't say, 'Don't enter'; you do what's necessary and he cannot enter, he tries but he can't that's what I call 'keeping under control.' I didn't need to speak to or touch them: the Force was doing the work."
***
October 30, 1962
questions, comments, suggestions/feedback, take-down requests, contribute, etc
contact me @ integralyogin@gmail.com or join the integral discord server (chatrooms)
if the page you visited was empty, it may be noted and I will try to fill it out. cheers
change font "color":
change "background-color":
change "font-family":
change "padding":
change "table font size":
last updated: 2022-02-04 21:54:53
234513 site hits