(Satprem asks for an explanation of this sentence from August 4: "... it is easier to feel wider, higher, vaster than the world, THAN AN INDIVIDUAL. For it is easier to take everything in, to embrace and change it from outside, than to change it from inside.")
Yes, it is easier (for a Being or a Force or a Consciousness) to feel vaster than the earth than an individual.1
Than an individual?
(Mother laughs) Its crystal clear to me!
Its a sort of reply to something I am translating in The Synthesis of Yoga. You know, there are these three aspects that must always be kept united in ones consciousness: jiva (the individual), Shakti, and Ishwara (the Supreme). He gives a wonderful description of how we have all three together in a kind of inner hierarchy. So while reading that (as I translate I have all the experiences, they come spontaneously), I kept saying to myself, No, that jiva hampers me; that jiva hems me in! Its not natural to me. Whats natural to me is its probably Mahashakti. There is always that sense of creative Power, and of the Lord. The infinite, marvelous, innumerable joy of the Lord, you see, which is so intermingled with the Poweryou can sense the presence of the Lord, yet you cannot distinguish or differentiate between the two. Its all a delectable play. So to introduce the individual, the jiva, into this spoils everything, makes everything so small!
I wanted to put all this into my sentence.
And I said it because its quite natural for people reading in the light of their own experience to get the feeling of an individual being who is united with Thatit doesnt work that way with me, I cant do it! I cant. The other movement is natural, spontaneous, wonderful the delight of being and the delight of living. But as soon as the jiva comes, oh, I feel so hemmed in.2
***
(Then Mother comments on a passage from the same conversation of August 4 where she spoke of this sort of immense universal sieve that gives the precision.)
Its very interesting! The fabric of the sieve serves as a filter, as it were, and thats what gives the precision.
And the Light that descends. You see, its as though as though I am SEEING that eternal, universal, immense, wondrous Vibration from without, from within, from above, from below, from everywhere at the same time. And at a certain place theres something so fine, delicate, of a silver-gray (something thats spread all around the world, all around the creation), and THE Vibration passes through it and it becomes ideas. Not ideas, something higher than ideas the origin of ideas. Things take form. And the sieve is fine, fine, fine, so fine and tenuous, and its everywhere (gesture enveloping the earth).
And its there all the time! I saw it the other day, I am seeing it nowit seems to be a permanent feature. And its the origin of all intellectual formulations (those closest to the Truth, of course, with no distortion). Very interesting.
***
(On August 4, Mother also spoke of the constant interchange of vibrations making it childish to imagine that solitude could facilitate the yoga. And she added: The only possible solution is so perfect a union with the supreme Vibration that everything is automatically put under His influence.)
I had the experience for several hours this morning. It started in the middle of the night and lasted through the morning until I was inundated with people. It began during the night in quite a powerful manner (in the body, all this is in the body), with a formidable sensation of power (so much so that in the middle of the experience I suddenly thought, I have to tell this to Satprem tomorrowright in the midst of the experience!). And THE Vibration seemed so utterly present (present I have the feeling its always present, but it was perceived, which gives it a kind of efficacya kind we can grasp). It was like that all morning until eight or eight-thirty; after eight oclock the experience slowly faded. It began around eleven at night and lasted till then. And so yes, its exactly what I say there: it automatically puts each thing in its place.
***
(A little later, regarding the conversation of August 8, where Mother said that with that inner joy of the Presence, all suffering becomes negligible:)
Oh, during those hours the Presence lasted this morning, what I say here became so obvious, so obvious! You see (theres nothing but the Lord, of course), its exactly as if the Lord were seeing all things (and this body is part of what He sees!), seeing all things and laughing, laughingforever laughing at all the tragedy the tragedy of this existence! And I was seeing Him right here, you know, there was nothing but Himimmense, marvelous, yet at the same time scaled to the size of the earth, almost to the size of this room, you could say! He was here, in everythingin all the past, all the future, in all places, in everything. And He was smiling, smiling with the consciousness of that joyits not joy, joy sounds pallid. And there was no excitement, nothing of what human consciousness mixes into these things, only an eternal certitude, a crystal clear vision of the most MINUTE details. And all of this simultaneously, just like that, with a smile. And although I cant say what is He and what is me, I have the joy of perceiving Him (that isnt abolished), and yet I am nowhere in particular! Still I have the joy, I feel the joy of perceiving Him.
Its difficult to describe. It lasted from around midnight until eight oclock.
And it was all happening naturally, spontaneously; you couldnt even say it was situated somewhere: it was just happening. Its another its another way of being.
It will probably be that way one daynothing will have the power to make one fall back into the old movement.
For I got up, walked around, washed and so onnothing could shake That; everything went smoothly, they [Mothers activities] didnt take up any room, (laughing) they were off somewhere and didnt disrupt anything!
And I see nothing but THATthat Consciousness. Its a Consciousness, a Presence. And all, all is there, you see, all is there together, the Power, the Presence, the Consciousness, that joy and Love. And all of that together almost gives the impression of a Form, that Vibration of golden light, a crimson-gold which is the most material supramental lighta Form. A Form, and no formyet its a Form!
(silence)
All right, mon petit.
There are some interesting things there.
All together, it [the Agenda] is going to be something interesting.
I should say so! Its a gold mine, a world!
Good.
Its going all right, mon petit. And I am more and more certain that I have given you your true name (this seems to be coming out of the blue, but). The more I come into conscious contact with the future (because it is right HERE, you see, just as we are pushing to go forward, it is pushing to descend), well its good. Its good.
Dont worrydont worry; simply let yourself BE what you truly are.
Mother undoubtedly means "than TO FEEL LIKE an individual."
See Sri Aurobindo's poem, "The Cosmic Spirit":
I have broken the limits of embodied mind And am no more the figure of a soul The burning galaxies are in me outlined....
Cent. Ed., V. 151.
***
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