(Concerning the vibration of supreme Love Mother experienced on April 13:)
Matter needs quite a preparation to make it strong enough to hold those vibrations, and and the body seems to be given a trickle to see how much it can bear. But theres such an immediate intensity of joy in all the cells, in the heart and organs, that it all seems on the verge of exploding.
It comes just to tell you, See, this is how it is.
I can bring it on at will simply by putting myself in a certain state. But then I notice that someone (someone well, thats a way of speaking) is dosing it out, allowing the contact for a certain length of time or in a certain amount; and theres nothing to be done about it, its an Order from above. A mere hint of impatience would spoil everything the power to establish the contact would probably be lost. I have never done this and I dont intend to.
(silence)
Its like an image. You see, the body is stretched out here on the chaise longue. You know how it is when experiments are done on animals? Its something like that the body is there as the subject of an experiment. Then theres my consciousness, the part focused on the earthly experience and the present transformation (its what I mean when I say I). And then the Lord. I say the Lord Ive adopted that because its the best way of putting it and the easiest for me, but I never, NEVER think of a being. For me, its a simultaneous contact with the Eternal, the Infinite, the Vast, the Totality of everything the totality of everything: all that is, all that has been, all that will be, everything. Words spoil it, but its like thatautomaticallywith consciousness, sweetness and SOLICITUDE. With all the qualities a perfect Personality can offer (I dont know if you follow me, but thats the way it is). And That (I use all these words to say it, and three-fourths is left out) is a spontaneous, constant, immediate experience. So the I I spoke of asks that the body may have the experience, or at least an initial taste, even a shadow of the experience of this Love. And each time its asked for, it comes INSTANTLY. Then I see the three together1in my consciousness and perception the three are together and I see that this Love is dosed out and maintained in exact proportion to what the body can bear.
The body is aware of this and is a little sad about it. But immediately comes something soothing, calming, making it vast. The body instantly senses the immensity and regains its calm.
This experience I am describing is exactly what happened yesterday (it happens every day, but yesterday it was especially clear). And its still here I am seeing it as I saw it, its still here. Actually, it is always herealways herethough its more striking when the body is stretched out, motionless in the Yoga. The experience is slightly different when walking because that involves action. When the body walks, it acts on behalf of everything thats related to it, hence the action is vaster and more powerful. But when it is stretched out and asks the Lord to take possession of it, it really asks with all its aspiration. And the very intensity of the aspiration brings in the possibility of a slight emotional vibration. But it is immediately drowned in the immobile immensity of matter, which senses the Divine Descent like a leaven that makes dough rise thats it exactly, the terrestrial immensity of matter and the leavening action of the Divine Descent. The intensity of these vibrations is above and beyond anything we are used to feeling the vital seems dull and flat in comparison. And what a Wisdom! It knows how to make use of time that is, it actually changes itself into timeso as to minimize the possibilities of damage.
Its plain to see that, left to itself in its full power of transformation and progress, this flame of aspiration, this flame of Agni would have scant consideration for the result of the process the result of the process is that fire burns. And there could be mishaps in the functioning of the organs. All the organs must undergo a transformation, but were it too rapid and too sudden, well, everything would go out of whack. The machine would simply explode. But this Wisdom doesnt come from the universal consciousness (which I dont really think is so wise!), its infinitely higher: the Supreme Wisdom. Something so wonderful! It foresees things the universal forces in their universal play would overlooka wonder!
(silence)
We mustnt be in a hurry.
Its hard to imagine how a physical body can, for instance, extend or enlarge itself. It all seems unimaginable.
It is unimaginable because the body cant do it yet.
No and besides, you dont see. If my body resembled its consciousness (because it Is conscious), if what you see with your eyes corresponded to what the body feels, it would probably look monstrous, hideous or terrifying!
What the eyes see is so false, so false!
But now the body the body itself, its very own selffeels it is WITHIN things or WITHIN people or WITHIN an action. There are no more limits, none of this (Mother touches the skin of her hands as if all separation had disappeared). Take this example: someone accidentally bumps me (it does happen) with an object or a part of his body. Well, it is NEVER something external: it happens INSIDE the bodys consciousness is much larger than my body. Yesterday, the table leg bumped my foot; so there was the ordinary outward reaction (it operates automatically and in a curious way the body jumped), and then the body-consciousness now I am speaking of the body-consciousness saw that an unexpected and involuntary collision of two objects had taken place INSIDE ITSELF. And it also saw that if it made a certain movement of concentration at that particular spot, inside itself, some pain or damage would result; but if it made the other movement of (how shall I put it?) of union, of abolishing all separation (which it can do very well), well, then the results of the blow would be annulled. And thats what happened, I did it. I was simply sitting down, and I let my body cope with the whole thing (while I watched with keen interest); and I noticed it really did feel the blow inside and not outsideit wasnt that something from outside had struck it, but that there had been an unexpected, or rather an unforeseen and involuntary collision of two things inside itself. And I clearly followed how the body made a more complete movement of identification (you see, someone with the sense of separation had moved the table, so the sense of separation accompanied the blow, and then of course there was all the regret,2 and so on and so forth); well, the body simply went into its usual state where theres no sense of separation, and the effect vanished instantaneously. Had I been asked, Where were you hit, what spot?, I couldnt have told, I dont know. All I know, because of words I heard spoken, is that the table leg bumped into my foot. But where? I cant say; I couldnt have said even five minutes after the incidentit had utterly disappeared, and disappeared through a VOLUNTARY movement.
This body-consciousness has a will; it is constantly, constantly calling upon the Lords will: Lord, take possession of this, take possession of that, take. Theres no question of taking possession of the will, that was done ages ago, but: Take possession of these cells, those cells, this, that. It is the BODYS aspiration. Well, the blow wasnt caused by this will acting in the body; the blow didnt come directly from the body, but from something that had slipped in through an unconscious element; and the body simply erased, or absorbed, digested this unconsciousness and the thing vanished without a trace!
And do you know how this body is? It immediately began wondering (I was quietly watching it all from above), What if (ifs are always idiotic but its an old bodily habit), what if the object had been sharp, would the results have been so easy to annul? (Mother laughs) Then I distinctly heard someone reply (I am putting it into words), You idiot! That wouldnt have happened in the first place! That is, the necessary protection would have been there. The protection intervenes only when necessary, not just for the fun of it. You numbskull, it said (I am translating freely), how silly can you be! It wouldnt have happened.
But what a world it isa world of experiences! And the consciousness is somewhere way up high but seeing very clearly, watching with interest.
You just cant imagineyou CANNOT. When I try to see life as most people see it (its getting increasingly difficult! but anyhow), the way people ordinarily see it, it becomes a big mishmash! I understand nothing, it makes no more sensenothing makes sense. Simply, for the sake of the action, I have been warned that nobody can understandNOBODY can comprehend to what extent the Lord is intermingled, is present and active in all things.
In all things.
(silence)
For instance, sometimes He tells me (of course its not external; its an extremely delicate working, and sort of automatic; no time elapses between the order and its execution: theyre not two movements but one single thing) when He says Speak, or when He says Keep silentlike the other day when, as you pointed out, I stopped in the middle of a sentenceits that all of a sudden (Mother makes a gesture as if she were unable to speak, or as if suddenly held by silence). At other times it pours out like its doing now. And I dont hear an order, I dont feel an order: I LIVE the Order; and its so patently the Lords that it seems stupid to even mention it.
Oh, such humorous things happen. The other day I saw T. Her old mother lives in Moscow; shes very old and on her deathbed, and has asked T. to come see her. So T. is going to go there. Its a risky adventure. She wrote to ask if she could see me before leaving (I dont see anyone and I had no intention of receiving her, but it was decided in spite of me and I let her come). She had been told not to speak, but thats impossible for such a chatterbox! So she began by lamenting (probably thinking it was the thing to do) over my serious illness and god knows what else I didnt listen. I simply told her, No, its not that, its the yoga. Then, with the effervescence of an ignorant child: Yoga! But you shouldnt be doing yoga! You shouldnt be. Just then, the Lords face came (the Lords face often takes on Sri Aurobindos appearancean idealized Sri Aurobindo, not exactly as he was physically), and it came here (right up against Mothers face), and it was blue. Then It made my finger touch her cheek, like this (Mother seems to tap T.s cheek), and It told that child, Little children dont know what theyre talking about. And it was so thoroughly Him! He was speaking and I saw only Him, his appearance: Little children dont know what theyre talking about.
I dont know how I looked (I was enjoying myself enormously), but she must have felt something (she didnt say a word), she must at least have felt something strange because a shudder went through her being. And I was told that when she left, she said, I may come back before I leave, but I wont ask to see Mother! (Mother laughs.)
But It was blueall blue. And That said, Little children dont know what theyre talking about.
Voil. I think our time is up.
The body, the "I," and the Lord.
"The regret of the person who bumped me," Mother specified. "This person's state of consciousness entered the body along with the blow. And this kind of regret for having given a blow was an ego movement. All these vibrations accompanied the blow and that's what the body had to annul in order to annul the result."
***
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last updated: 2022-02-04 21:41:09
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