classes ::: Agenda Vol 02, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
children :::
branches :::
see also :::

bookmarks: Instances - Definitions - Quotes - Chapters - Wordnet - Webgen


object:1961-03-27
book class:Agenda Vol 02
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1961 Mon 27 March
March 27, 1961

(Mother brings along a note she had written the same morning concerning a meditation with X, the tantric 'guru':)

The extreme subjectivity of experiences is very disconcerting.

Yesterday, while waiting for X, I was as usual in communion with the Supreme in his aspect of Love. Suddenly I felt X arriving and spontaneously, like a Veda, a movement of gratitude for his great goodwill arose from my heart, and it was formulated as a prayer to the Supreme: Give him [X] the bliss of Your Love and the joys of Your Truth.

For a long time X has said nothing about his meditations with me, but just yesterday he told N. that he had some difficulty at the start of the meditation due to the presence of an adverse force, and it took him five minutes to overcome it!

Evidently he was in a completely different state of consciousness.

But.

And for me the experience was so clear! So lovely and so spontaneous! And its the first timeat the very beginning of our relationship, I had often concentrated on X to thank him for what he had done, but this is the first time it came like that: such a sweet, sweet atmosphere, so luminous, so radiant. Then in the afternoon N. tells me this [that an adverse force was present in the atmosphere]!

I had felt NOTHING. Nothing.

You know he said someone has been doing black magic against me; but I have never felt anything of the sort in the room where we meditate, because I make a point of coming half an hour early and this of course clears the atmosphere: everything is always ready when he arrives, in silence, in perfect peace. Hasnt he always told you that when he comes into that room he enters another world, like Kailas?1 And thats the way it has always been. If there has been a change, its that now its even more like thatbecause (how to put it?) its more stable. Before, it fluctuated a bit: it came, went, came. But now its like a tranquil mass (Mother lowers her arms) that doesnt stir. Yesterday in particular, this was the experience: I felt him coming (when he is about to come in, I always sense something drawing me outward a little so that I wont be completely in trance and can stand up), and this prayer came so spontaneously, oh! And then (laughing) in the afternoon N. tells me, Oh, X said he had some difficulty at the start of todays meditationa hostile force was present and it took him five minutes to clarify the atmosphere!

It gave me the impression you get in outer life: all the pieces more or less dovetail but with no inner unitytheres not ONE thing, not one, that is true, essentially and always true. We know it is like that outwardly, of course; but I have always felt that with people who have an inner life, one could attain a kind of identity of vibration and knowledge but no!

Very well, I said, if thats how it is..

All yesterday evening I was wondering, Is it hopeless? Thats obviously not true, I know very well its not hopeless. Yet what does it need to be different? Clearly nothing less than the supramental transformation. Well, theres still quite a long way to go.

I was under the impression, for example, that when I thought something (not actually thought, but when I had an inner perception) X could receive it; particularly when I had such a feeling for him and summoned the Force, made the Force come down, my impression was that he knew it!

But if its like that.

Its not encouraging.

Ah, no! I didnt feel encouraged.

Because truly it was truly the best I could have done for someone! It came so spontaneously! And then (laughing) he comes in and feels a hostile force!!

He was evidently on another plane entirely.

What ruffles me is that someone like X, who has worked on himself, ought to have felt it. Why do I feel it? Because since I have been doing all this work on my body, it senses things and it is never mistaken. I have had repeated proof that it is never mistaken. When a higher vibration comes, it feels it right away! But I must say that this has only been the case since the body became very universalized. However, I was under the impression that X must have been somewhat universalized to have the powers he has, but now I dont know.

Its not that I was disappointed by his way of being, certainly not; but it has suddenly confronted me with a terrible problem: Is it impossible to live a truth in material consciousness? Is it really impossible? An absolute, I mean an absolute truthnot something entirely subjective and relative, each one living his own truth in his own manner. Will one person always be like this and the other like that and the third like something else? So that only by putting all the pieces together do we actually amount to anything and yet to what?! Is it completely impossible for absolute truth to manifest in the present state of Matter? This is the problem that has seized me.

Why? Probably because I was ready to face it. But it has been posed so intensely. It was so intense that it was painful.

It reinforces what the old Schools have always taught but Sri Aurobindo rejected it! Sri Aurobindo told us precisely that the Truth could be lived IN material life. Of course, there must be a change of consciousness, but I thought.

(silence)

My bodys consciousness has changed that much I know. Not totally, of course, but enough to feel that theres no separation, that vibrations are unpartitioned there are no partitions! And I felt this very strongly with X: that when we were face to face in meditation there was no longer any difference between us, that this Vibration I was feelingthis Vibration of a strong and very solid, very balanced peacewas the same for him as for me. I didnt feel that I was here and he was there. I had only to shut my eyes and there was no difference between us. (This doesnt happen just with him: I feel it with everyone; but I am aware of how it is with others, I can sense why they dont feel it.) But I was under the impression that he, at least, would have felt it I must have been mistaken! This incident came to tell me I was mistaken.

Still, it surprises me. Because sitting in that room, one has the feeling (I say one, its probably I dont know what it is), I thought he had the same feeling I did: oh, it could last an eternity! Its like that: tranquil, tranquil, peaceful, balanced, strong. On other occasions there was a kind of movement: it came, went, came, went; but this time (Mother stretches forth her arms as if time had stopped) and I am like that (not the I here, the I above), I see it like that. Then just as the clock is about to strike, when the half-hour is finished, something comes and tells my body, Now! A tiny shock, and two or three seconds later the clock strikes. I always feel beforehand, Now its over. Otherwise there would be no reason for it to endits so peaceful! And not something diluted, as it were, but strong, compact. Compact. Then that tiny shock and the body comes to attention: Ah, Im going to have to move! And always after about two seconds, the clock strikes. I open my eyes, look at X and wait. Three or four seconds later, or after a minute or two, he opens his eyes, bows to me and gets up. Then I get up. Its always the same. So I dont know why. I dont understand what goes on in his consciousness. I no longer understand.

Im not so sure about what he said to N.

(Laughing) Neither am I!2

He doesnt speak about these things with N. Perhaps N. has confused two different times or. Because Xs way of expressing himself can seem very vague when you dont know him well, especially when it concerns time and place. This attack may not have occurred during the meditation with you, but beforeh and or elsewhere.

I dont know, because N. said quite categorically: X told me that on arriving for this mornings meditation he had some difficulties and it took him five minutes to get over it; an adverse force was present. N. was quite positive and I even made him repeat it. Are you sure, I asked him, that it didnt happen when X came to you? No, N. replied, X met that force THERE. He said THERE! Yet that it could have been there, with all the force, light and peace that descended is incomprehensible to me. Because the first thing I do when I sit down is to make a thorough cleaning.

It ruffles me because its like a negation of my power. Till yesterday I had never experienced anything of the kind! On the 29th, you know, it will be forty-seven years since I first came here3thats not exactly yesterday! And ever since I began working with Sri Aurobindo, I have had the sense of this Power, it has never left me; so. It is disconcerting to have this kind of episode come up after such a long time.

Ill try to speak with X and find out exactly what happened.

That risks a terrible misunderstanding; be careful. Perhaps he wont even remember what he said anymore. Its difficult with X because he doesnt say things with his mindit just comes like that, and then he forgets. You know how it is. Something may have made him speak. For instance, I know that with N. he almost always says unpleasant things about people and situations and this entirely results from N.s atmosphere. I have told N., He speaks like that because of your inner attitude. To one person he will say one thing, to another something completely different on the same subjectit depends a great deal on who hes talking to. No, I havent told you all this for you to speak with X about it, I have told you because it has posed a serious problem for me.

Its best to wait and see. I put a certain force into that note I wrote this morning (I wrote it at a very early hour) and you know that a formation4 is created when I write; I willed it to go to himand he may have received it. Well see what happens. Its better not to speak of it because it might speaking is too external.

On other occasions (as I have told you) I had difficulties with X on the mental plane; now all that has cleared up, cleared up very well. But this present situation is on another plane, so lets wait. Perhaps probably it will clear up.

(silence)

I probably needed the experience. You remember that type of detachment I spoke of when I had that experiencewhen the BODY had that experience of January 24, 1961well, it has increased to such an extent that it now applies to anything and everything linked with action on earth. This detachment was probably necessary. It began with something like things dissolving (Mother makes a gesture of crumbling something between her fingers); certain kinds of links between my consciousness and the Work were dissolving (not links with me, because I dont have any, but with the body; the whole physical consciousness, all that attaches it to the things in its environment, to the Work and to the entourage I spoke to you about that in regard to physical immortality; well, thats what is happening now). Its like things dissolvingdissolving, dissolving, dissolving. And its more and more pronounced. During these last days, things have been becoming increasingly difficultdifficulties have been coming one after another, one after another. Formerly, I had the power to get a grip on them and hold them (Mother tightens her grip as though mastering circumstances); but now that this type of detachment has begun, things drift away everywhereeverywhere, everywhere.

So this episode with X is probably part of the same process. What has been affected is a certain confidence in the REALITY of the Power, the REALITY of spiritual action; there seems to be no communication between here (above) and there (below).

Does that mean youre breaking all contacts with the earth?

No, thats not it. Things go on. I dont know, I have no idea. I cant say exactly what it is, but. Its a. Dont know. In any case, it seems obvious that the NATURE of the contact must become very different. Because in proportion to this detachment, the reality of the Vibration and especially the vibration of divine Lovekeeps growing and growing (out of all proportion to the body, even) in a FORMIDABLE manner, formidable! The body is beginning to feel nothing but that.

Is this detachment necessary, then, for divine Love to be established? I dont know.

Yes, its as if I were living, as if the BODY were living (despite all the illnesses and attacks, all the ill will besetting it), living in a bath of the divine vibrationbathing in something immenseimmense, immense limitless, and so stable! The body lives in it like this (gesture as if Mother were floating). So even when there is what we call physical pain, even when there are blows to morale (like having a cashier ask you for money and you have none to give him5), well, despite it all, despite all the possible complications (coming all at the same time), EVERYTHING, everything that happens now, even things which seem extremely unpleasant to our mental conceptions or our mental reactions, everything is a bath, a bath of the vibration of divine Love. So much so that if I didnt control my body, I would be smiling at everything all the time like an idiot. A beatific smile for everything (I dont show it because I control myself).

(silence, the clock strikes the hour)

No, no: do not brood about it. Let it be, it will work out. It will work out the way it has to work out.

X is sensitive mentally, but to what degree? And to what degree do things crystallize differently for him because of all his ideas?

Well see.

(silence)

But you know, its no joke, this transformation!

(silence)

Yesterday I had such a strong feeling that ALL constructions, all habits, all ways of seeing, all ordinary reactions, were all crumbling awaycompletely. I felt I was suspended in something entirely different, something I dont know.

(silence)

And truly, with the feeling that ALL one has lived, all one has known, all one has done, all of it is a perfect illusion thats what I was living yesterday evening.

And then.

Its one thing to have the spiritual experience of the illusion of material life (some find this painful, but I found it so wonderfully beautiful and happy that it was one of the loveliest experiences of my life); but now the whole spiritual construction as one has lived it is becoming a total illusion! Not the same illusion, a far more serious illusion.

If That was not there. Obviously, That [divine Love] is here, like a mattress placed so you wont break your neck when you fall. Thats precisely the feeling: this experience of the vibration of divine Love is the mattress so you dont break your neck!

So, petit, dont brood; whatever your difficulties may be (laughing), you can tell yourself they are only beginning!

And Im not exactly a baby; I have been here forty-seven years, and for something like yes, certainly for sixty years I have been doing a conscious yoga, with all that memories of an immortal life can bring and see where I am! When Sri Aurobindo says you must have endurance, I think he is right!

This path is not for the weak, thats for sure.

I believe this body has suffered as much as a body can bear without going to pieces, and it keeps going, it has never asked for mercynot once has it said, No, its too much, not once. It says, As You will, Lord: here I am.

And so it continues.

(Mother gets up to leave)

Well, Im never going to tell people that its just a promenade! No, its nothing like a promenade. Some say, Oh, youre too severe! But too bad for them; its better to tell the truth, isnt it?

We mustnt get discouraged.

The absolute certainty of the Victory is unquestionable; but I am not speaking at the scale of our bounded mind. Its up to us to CHANGE TACKthis is whats expected of us, to change tack and not keep going round in circles.

There you are, petit.

Its a process of tempering, you knowwe get tempered.

And theres no point in giving up, because it would just have to be started all over again next time. What I always say is: Heres the opportunitygo right to the end. Its no use saying, Ah, I cant, because next time it will be even more difficult.

A region high in the Himalayas, also known as the abode of Shiva.

Note that N. will try to be the future 'proprietor' of Auroville. Already Mother was surrounded by lies on all sides.

On March 29, 1914.

In the occult sense, a 'formation' signifies a concentration of power or force directed towards a particular goal. it is like a bullet of force going inexorably to its target. In fact, all beings are constantly making 'formations' with their thoughts and desires, but these formations have scarcely any power other than that of clinging to the one who has made them or returning upon him like a boomerang.

The following undated note (which could date from this or any number of other times!) was found among Mother's scattered papers: Now the situation has become very critical, all the reserves have been swallowed up, there are debts, many important works remain unfinished and the daily life has become a problem. It is the subsistence of more than 1,200 people which is in question.

***


questions, comments, suggestions/feedback, take-down requests, contribute, etc
contact me @ integralyogin@gmail.com or
join the integral discord server (chatrooms)
if the page you visited was empty, it may be noted and I will try to fill it out. cheers


OBJECT INSTANCES [0] - TOPICS - AUTHORS - BOOKS - CHAPTERS - CLASSES - SEE ALSO - SIMILAR TITLES

TOPICS
SEE ALSO


AUTH

BOOKS

IN CHAPTERS TITLE
1961-03-27

IN CHAPTERS CLASSNAME

IN CHAPTERS TEXT
1961-03-27

PRIMARY CLASS

chapter
SIMILAR TITLES

DEFINITIONS



QUOTES [0 / 0 - 0 / 0]


KEYS (10k)


NEW FULL DB (2.4M)


*** NEWFULLDB 2.4M ***


IN CHAPTERS [0/0]









WORDNET


































IN WEBGEN [10000/5]

Wikipedia - Circumambulation
http://fr.religion.wikia.com/wiki/Circumambulation
https://religion.wikia.org/wiki/Circumambulation
https://religion.wikia.org/wiki/Talk:Circumambulation
Circumambulation


change font "color":
change "background-color":
change "font-family":
change "padding":
change "table font size":
last updated: 2022-02-04 20:55:30
106859 site hits