classes ::: Agenda Vol 01, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
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object:1960-12-13
book class:Agenda Vol 01
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1960 Tue 13 December
December 13, 1960

During these last days, I was face to face with a problem as old as the world which had taken on an extraordinary intensity.

Its what Sri Aurobindo calls disbelief, and its located in the most material physical consciousness it isnt doubt (which mainly belongs to the mind), it is almost like a refusal to accept the obvious as soon as it doesnt belong to the little daily routine of ordinary sensations and reactionsa sort of incapacity to accept and recognize the exceptional.

This disbelief is the bedrock of the consciousness. And it comes with a (thought is too big a word for such an ordinary thing) a mental-physical activity which makes you (I am forced to use the word) think things and which always foresees, imagines or draws conclusions (depending on the case) in a way which I myself call DEFEATIST. In other words, it automatically leads you to imagine all the bad things that can happen. And this occurs in a realm which is absolutely run-of-the-mill, in the most ordinary, restricted, banal activities of lifesuch as eating, moving in short, the coarsest of things.

Its fairly easy to manage and control this in the realm of thought, but when it comes to those reactions that rise up from the very bottom theyre so petty that you can barely express them to yourself. For example, if someone mentions that so-and-so ate such-and-such a thing, immediately something somewhere starts stealing in: Ah, hes going to get a stomach-ache! Or you hear that someone is going somewhereOh, hes going to have an accident! And it applies to everything; its swarming down below. Nothing to do with thought as such!

Its quite a nasty habit, for it keeps the most material state in a condition of disharmony, disorder, ugliness and difficulty.

I tried every possible way To get out of it is relatively easy. But then it doesnt change.

The problem appeared again to me very intensely when I read Sri Aurobindos The Yoga of Self-Perfection. I was confronted with a whole formidable world to be transformedto transform what is already luminous is quite easy, but to transform that! ughthis stuff of life, so low and so coarse, so ordinary its much more difficult.1

For the last several days, Ive been at grips fighting with it. How can I stop this idiotic, coarse and above all defeatist automatism from constantly manifesting? Its truly an automatism; it doesnt respond to any conscious will, nothing. So what will it take to ? And its QUITE INTIMATELY related to the bodys illnesses (the old habits the body has of coming out of its rhythmic movement, of entering into confusion)the two things are very intimately linked.

Im deep in the problem.

For me, the problem doesnt mean explaining the thing (its easy to explain), but controlling, mastering and transforming it. That will take some time.

We shall see.

Now X is coming, and these days of meditation with him.2 What is going to happen? By the way, he no longer writes that hes coming to help the Ashram. He wrote to Amrita that hes coming to have the opportunity (I cant exactly remember his words) anyway, to take advantage of his meditations with me so that he can make the necessary transformations! Quite a changed attitude. I had several visions concerning him which Ill tell you later.

Later, Mother added the following: 'In this regard I don't know where, but somewhereSri Aurobindo spoke of this physical mind, and he said that there was nothing you could do with it; it must only be destroyed.'

Mother may be alluding to the following passage from The Synthesis of Yoga: 'There is nothing to be done with this fickle, restless, violent and disturbing factor but to get rid of it whether by detaching it and then reducing it to stillness or by giving a concentration and singleness to the thought by which it will of itself reject this alien and confusing clement.'

Cent. Ed., Vol. XX, p. 300.

The tantric guru. During his periodic visits to the Ashram, Mother used to give him almost daily meditations.

***
December 2, 1960


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1960-12-13

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1960-12-13

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IN WEBGEN [10000/105]

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