classes ::: Agenda Vol 01, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
children :::
branches :::
see also :::

bookmarks: Instances - Definitions - Quotes - Chapters - Wordnet - Webgen


object:1960-08-20
book class:Agenda Vol 01
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1960 Sat 20 August
August 20, 1960

(While filing various old papers, notes, etc., Mother happens upon the plan for a film studio at the lake)

[Some five miles from Pondicherry.]

Its at the lake. The property belonged to the mission and at that time its manager was a very good friend of ours, even though he was a missionary. He said that he would arrange for us to have it. Everything was arranged, and I was to receive the money to buy it (they asked for more than fifty or sixty thousand rupees1). But then the money didnt come and our missionary friend left. Hes no longer there; hes been replaced by someone else.

(Mother looks at a piece of paper) Calling Antonin Raymond2. The architect for the construction.

Then there was also making ready temporary quarters for Z3. But then Z left; he died.

Thats what happensthings change. Its not that the project stops, but its forced to take other paths.

But this film project has been completely abandoned now, hasnt it?

No, no. You see, it wasnt a studioit was a school, a school of photography, television and film. Its not at all buried.

But L has enlarged the program. (Mother indicates the plan) This is only a small part of his extensive total program. He is planning to have a school of agriculture, a modern dairy with grazing landtheres a lot of agriculture, really a lotfruit orchards, large rice fields, many things. And then a ceramics factory. My ceramics factory will be at the far end of the lake, so as to utilize the clay the government has agreed; as they have to dig out the lake one day, we shall use the top soil for the fields. First well remove all the pebbles (you know, there are hills over there), which can be used for constructionits a mine of pebbles. After removing the pebbles, there will be holes which then well fill with earth from the lake. And below this earth is a thick and compact layer of clay which is so hard it cant be used for farmingits impossible but its wonderful for making ceramics. So right at the very end, in Indian territory,4 well have a large ceramics industry. On the other side, well have a little factory for firing clay.

All this is huge. A tremendous program.5

We can file it with the other things.

(Mother pauses at a note from February 10, 19566

It was in the beginning of February 56it was formidable. It was really formidable. All the asuric forces of destruction descended upon me They tried their best.

And naturally, they make use of all those around me!Its the only way of getting at my body.

Im used to it.
***

(Mother looks at another note)

I no longer remember when this happened. Someone had put his hands on my shoulders I was a bit surprised. This person imagined that I would feel extraordinary things. I must have made a face (I wasnt expecting it, after all). Then afterwards, someone asked me, What was your experience (!), what did you feel? I didnt answer. Once I was alone, this is what I wrote:

Something like what
Christ must have experienced
when on his shoulders
he felt the weight
of the cross.

To this day I remember the experience. Truly, thats what I felt I did not intellectualize it. Exactly the impression of what Christ must have experienced when he felt the weight of the cross. It was the weight of a whole world of darkness, unconsciousness, universal bad will, total incomprehension, something And it really felt like that as if I were carrying a frightful weightwhich was frightful because of its darkness, not because of its weight. So I thought, Well, well. This must be how Christ felt when they laid the cross on him.

There are plenty of them! (Mother indicates a pile of various papers) In another pile there must be as many again! It is a mania for collecting papers.

Oh no, sweet Mother! Fortunately they have been kept.

Oh! I have plenty of them, plenty. There must be many more boxes full.
***

(Soon afterwards, in regard to the filing of these notes)

With a lot of patience and time, it could all be organized, but Id have to be convinced that its worth the trouble. All these old papers are like dead leaves. We should make a bonfire.7

Oh, no!

YOU people may have this opinion, but its not mine. Ill tell you exactly the effect it has on me: whenever someone has wanted to arrange things, Ive always thought, Yes, it will be quite useful to arrange these things after my death!

But then Id rather not die if possible. And if I dont die, it will be perfectly useless, because that would then be the obvious proof of an uninterrupted ascent; consequently, what there will be at the very end will be much more interesting.

You alone have convinced me that the history of the way might be of some interest, so Im letting you do it Ive taken a very, very handsome file upstairs with all your notes in it.8 Its filling up; its going to be formidable! (Mother laughs) a frightful documentation.

Not at all!

Anyway I am doing it very conscientiously. Im gathering everything and putting it all together.

You know, someone who appreciates this work tremendously is Nolini. Once he timidly asked me, Could I have a copy9? Fine, I said. Oh, he really appreciates it. And when I have something amusing like these most recent notes, I give him a copy. With that, hes happy. So he blesses you! (Mother laughs) Oh! Without you, this would never have been doneyou can be quite sure. Never.
***

(Getting up to leave, Mother holds in her hands the first copy of LOrpailleur which the disciple has just received from France and offered to Her)

Shall I take your book or ? Dont you want it?

I dont need it.

Dont you want it? I like it very much, very much. Its a very good friend (Mother holds the book against her heart).

Oh, I must write a few letters here and there, to France (to announce the publication of the book). I already wrote to A, but I must write him again. Though I suppose he knows that it has come ou the should know. I told him to follow it with

I dont know if the book has come out yet. I believe its to appear in early September.

Oh, so this was only the harbinger.

I think so. That was their plan, in any case.10

Did you tell them that youve received it?

Yes, I sent them a note.

Did you tell them you were happy?

Yes, yes.

(Mischievously) Did you tell them Mother was happy?They couldnt care less! (Mother laughs)

(Unruffled) They dont exactly know who Mother is.

No, fortunately not! Fortunately, my child! Fortunately.

(Just at the doorstep, as She is leaving, Mother tells the disciple that She had seen three books, a trilogy, and the third one would be about Her. And She adds:)

Sri Aurobindo came during my japa to tell me, I will help him all through.

About $7,000.

The architect who had already built 'Golconde,' the Ashram guest house.

An American filmmaker.

Pondicherry was a French enclave, under French administration. The neighboring territory was the Indian state of Madras, or Tamil Nadu.

Perhaps it was the beginning of Auroville.

This note has disappeared.

Original English.

The future Agenda.

Of these conversations that make up the Agenda.

The French publishers, ditions du Seuil.

***


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