classes ::: Agenda Vol 01, The Mother, Satprem, Integral Yoga, chapter,
children :::
branches :::
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object:1959-07-10
book class:Agenda Vol 01
author class:The Mother
author class:Satprem
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter


1959 Fri 10 July
July 10, 1959

(Letter to Mother from Satprem, once again in Pondicherry)

Pondicherry, July 10, 1959

Mother,

Please excuse me, but I cannot come to meet you. My heart is broken. I would not know how to speak to you.

A moment ago I barely found the strength not to kill myself. Destiny has repeated itself once again, but this time it was not I who rejected her, as in past existences, it is she who rejected me: Too late. For a moment, I thought I was going to go crazy too, so much pain did I have then finally I said, May Thy Will be done, (that of the Supreme Lord) and I kept repeating, Thy Grace is there, even in the greatest suffering. But I am broken, rather like a living dead man. So be happy, for I will never wear the white robe that Guruji gave me.

You will understand that I do not have the strength to come to see you. My only strength is not to rebel, my only strength is to believe in the Grace in the face of everything. I believe I have too much grief in my heart to rebel against anything at all. I seem to have a kind of great pity for this world.

Well, this time I shall remain silent.

Adieu, Mother.

Signed: Satprem
***


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