object:1918_07_12p
book class:Prayers And Meditations
author class:The Mother
subject class:Integral Yoga
class:chapter
1918 Fri 12 July
July 12, 1918
[Suddenly, before Thee, all my pride fell. I understood how futile it was in Thy Presence to wish to surmount oneself, and I wept, wept abundantly and without constraint the sweetest tears of my life.]1 Ah yes, how refreshing, how calm and sweet were those tears I shed before Thee without shame or constraint! Was it not like a child in its fathers arms? But what a Father! What sublimity, what magnificence, what immensity of comprehension! And what a power and plenitude in the response! Yes, my tears were like holy dew. Was it because it was not for my own sorrow that I wept? [Tears sweet and beneficent, tears that opened my heart without constraint before Thee and melted in one miraculous moment all the remaining obstacles that could separate me from Thee!]2
Some days ago I had known it, I had heard: If thou canst weep without restraint or disguise before Me, many things will change, a great victory will be won. And that is why when the tears rose from my heart to my eyes, I came and sat before Thee to let them flow as an offering, devotedly. And how sweet and comforting was the offering!
[And now, although I weep no longer, I feel so near, so near to Thee that my whole being quivers with joy.
Let me stammer out my homage:
I have cried too with the joy of a child, O supreme and only Confidant, Thou who knowest beforehand all we can say to Thee because Thou art its source!
O supreme and only Friend, Thou who acceptest, Thou who lovest, Thou who understandest us just as we are, because it is Thyself who hast so made us!
O supreme and only Guide, Thou who never gainsayest our highest will because it is Thou Thyself who willest in it!
It would be folly to seek elsewhere than in Thee for one who will listen, understand, love and guide, since always Thou art there ready to our call and never wilt Thou fail us!
Thou hast made me know the supreme, the sublime joy of a perfect confidence, an absolute serenity, a surrender total and without reserve or colouring, free from effort or constraint.
Joyous like a child I have smiled and wept at once before Thee, O my Well-Beloved!]3
Translated by Sri Aurobindo or revised and published under his guidance.
Translated by Sri Aurobindo or revised and published under his guidance.
Translated by Sri Aurobindo or revised and published under his guidance.
***
November 25, 1917
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